by Regine Abel
The fear of losing Esmeralda compounded that uncertainty.
Even as I moved through the surrounding forest at a slow jog, thoughts of the impossibility of my relationship with my mate tormented me. She couldn’t claim me before the citizens of Paris without condemning me to a certain death, and maybe even Frollo. If she told him about us, he would completely lose it and forbid us from seeing each other.
He doesn’t own me or her. We do not have to obey.
He couldn’t rat us out without exposing his role in my presence here. But Esmeralda couldn’t live in my cabin with me without eventually raising suspicions with her frequent comings and goings.
Would he let me return to the temple and share her quarters, or let her share mine?
I couldn’t imagine him allowing it, not with his ego. To have been bested by me, a Fallen, in the affections of the most powerful Vestal to have set foot on the First Circle in our lifetime would wound his pride too deeply. But even without that, sharing her quarters would be too risky with visiting dignitaries using some of the rooms on that same floor, not to mention the cleaning staff.
If only I hadn’t been a half-breed…
Victus and Lazarus crisscrossing in front of me at high speed forced me to slow down. I’d been so lost in thought that I’d been stomping around the woods loudly enough to scare any game or prey to be had. I inwardly cursed myself and focused my natural long-range vision on my surroundings, looking for a target. It took a while before I spotted the dark fur of a chisawni; a large vegetarian creature the size of a medium dog, but that looked like the offspring a beaver and a rabbit would produce.
It would provide enough meat for the imps and me for the next week, even if Esmeralda also shared our meals. Its leather would go to making the scabbards of my next weapons, and its teeth and bones would serve to make tools and more weapons. Whatever remained, the imps would devour.
Taking aim with my arrow, hoping for a clean kill, the energy that had tingled inside me since I woke up suddenly sparked to life. I stared in wonder as the same electric tendrils that had appeared around our hands the first time Esmeralda and I touched manifested around my wrist, over my hand before infusing the arrow I had just nocked. A wistful smile stretched my lips realizing my woman had become a part of me since our mating. No wonder I’d felt like a god all morning.
Itching to return to her as soon as possible, I refocused on my prey only to be startled by the appearance of a smaller pair of bunny ears, hopping around the larger chisawni. The little kit rubbed its tiny face against what had to be its parent who flapped its flat, beaver tail in approval. Cursing again, I lowered my arrow and glared at Victus who chirped mockingly at my annoyance.
“I guess we’re having fish,” I muttered, shouldering my bow.
The electric coils around my hand faded, and the energy thrumming inside me went back into what felt like sleeping mode. Although I wasn’t quite equipped for fishing, I headed straight to the river, planning on using one of my arrows as a spear. The imps flew ahead to survey the shallow banks where various respectable-sized fish liked to swim. By the time I caught up with them, Victus and Lazarus were already frantically circling an area ripe for the picking. I stepped on the rocks surrounding the shallow nook where half a dozen silver mullet fish were frolicking.
Fishing was always a little too easy here. But I had wanted to impress my woman with my hunting skills and my ability to provide, whatever the situation. It was silly in this day and age where everything was abundant except energy. Still, I had too little to offer compared to her. Any points I could score mattered.
Fisting one of my arrows like a spear, I targeted the largest fish and struck. As soon as my arrow found its mark, a bolt of lightning blasted out of my hand, zapping the five other nearby fish that had attempted to flee. I yelped and recoiled, almost losing my footing on the slippery rocks. I gaped at my hand and then at the five fish floating belly up around the one I had ‘speared.’ The imps hooted with joy and licked their thin lips in anticipation. Recovering from my shock, I grabbed my unexpected haul by the tails, three in each hand, then made my way back home.
I dropped the fish in the sink before going to check on Esmeralda. She was still fast asleep. Despite my urge to go kiss her, I exited the room quietly, not wanting to stink her up with my fishy smell. I cut one of the mullets in two and gave each of my imps a half. They chomped away at their meal, devouring everything: scales, bones, and offal. Shaking my head in amusement, I cleaned, filleted, and deboned the remaining mullets. I rubbed them with some spices and herbs then set them in the cooling unit while waiting for my mate to wake up.
After washing off the fishy stench that had clung to me, I headed to my forge. Although my hammering would be loud, I’d soundproofed my bedroom because of the many events that regularly took place on the plaza. With the music and clamor from last night’s Festival, it would have been impossible for us to sleep otherwise as the noise carried all the way here.
While gardening allowed me to surround myself with the grace and beauty that I lacked, blacksmithing was my true passion. Wielding the hammer, shaping metal, and bending it to my will always gave me a tremendous sense of power and control that otherwise escaped me in this life. Knowing that the weapons I made surpassed those of the best craftsman in the city filled me with tremendous pride.
Vestals often wielded a staff of power. But they either bought it in the city they joined, or it was given to them as a gift by the Praetor or Elohim who took them as consort. I intended to build one myself for my Esmeralda. In my mind’s eye, I could already see the intricate details it would have. That staff would be my masterpiece.
The challenge would be getting my hands on the gems I wished to ornate it with. Frollo usually never balked at providing me with whatever material or resources I asked for. Being a male of simple needs, my requests had always been reasonable. So much in fact that he’d often brought me far better quality than I asked, for example with my mattress and pillows. Those little acts of unexpected kindness made it difficult for me to hate Frollo.
In truth, I didn’t quite know how I felt about him. It was a strange mix of love and hate.
Glowstones and lumis he would bring me without question, in whatever quantities, shapes, and sizes I required. But I wanted jade or emeralds to match the color of my woman’s eyes. I would need to think on ways to achieve that goal without getting caught.
Staring at the various metals at my disposal, I reached for a large piece of tarantium—a light but extremely sturdy metal used to make the finest weapons. As a Vestal, Esmeralda would have undergone battle training in case she became consort to an Elohim. While the interplanetary wars had mostly waned over the past decade, trouble constantly brewed in our solar system. It was only a matter of time before another conflict forced the winged warriors to intervene. As Elohim and Vestals mutually enhanced their powers, together they became an unstoppable force.
Even though Esmeralda would never go to the front, and despite the fact that Vestals mostly battled with lightning, I would insert a long, viciously sharp blade at each end of her staff. Hers would surpass any weapon ever wielded by one of the daughters of Vesta.
With my forge burning hot, I heated the metal until it became pliable. I then picked up my hammer and turned to my anvil to start shaping. At the first strike of the hammer against the piece of tarantium, my power awakened with fury, electric coils wrapping all around my upper chest and the length of my arms. Like a living thing, the energy slithered and writhed over the metal, infusing it with its essence. A bright vein streaked the dark metal—partially red from the heat.
I paused and stared at my hand in awe and then at the metal. Lifting my hammer again, I struck the metal once more with the same result. Galvanized, I hammered away, the energy within me building with each strike. The electric coils faded from my arms in the few minutes I spent at the forge to reheat the metal, only to return as soon as I resumed shaping it. Lightning swirled around me, crac
kling and sparkling. I felt bigger, stronger, and nearly invincible; very much like a god.
My head jerked left at the sound of a soft gasp. Barefoot, her curly, reddish-brown hair falling loosely on her back, and her sarong wrapped around her body with a front knot on her chest, Esmeralda stared at me wide-eyed. I stopped hammering and stared right back at her. My heart filled to bursting with an emotion no words could describe. Dropping both my hammer and the tongs with which I’d held the burning metal, I rushed to my woman.
Esmeralda squealed in surprise, then giggled when I lifted her up, spun around a few times before lowering her just enough to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and parted her lips, allowing me to deepen the kiss. When she came up for air, my mate cupped my face and examined my features as if I was the most wonderful treasure she’d ever laid eyes upon. My chest tightened again with love and gratitude that such an amazing woman could see and care for the man trapped in this body.
My mate caressed my cheeks with infinite tenderness. “You’re glowing with Divine Light,” she whispered, glancing at the electric coils climbing onto her hand still hugging my face.
“You are my Divine Light,” I replied, my eyes drinking in her beauty.
Esmeralda smiled and rubbed her nose against mine before burying her face in my neck. I tightened my arms around her and for the next few seconds, minutes, or eternity, we held each other in silence. By the time I released her, the electric coils around me had vanished.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, the concern gnawing at me creeping into my voice.
“Wonderfully wrecked?” she said, teasingly.
My cheeks burned with embarrassment while tension drained from my shoulders. “I should have been gentler and less greedy,” I said sheepishly.
“Did you hear me complain? Do I look like I am now?” she gently chastised me. “You were better than anything I had ever fantasized for my first time. You were always meant to be the one for me.”
My throat tightened again with emotion as I struggled to comprehend how I had earned Esmeralda’s affection, she who had been created to be the mate of a god.
“My beautiful mate,” I whispered before brushing my lips against hers. “You must be starving. Let me feed you,” I said, silencing my reawakening desire.
Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I tucked her against me, and she wrapped hers around my waist. Once in the dine-in kitchen, I settled her at the table before getting down to business. She offered to help, but I wouldn’t have it. After putting the fish steaks on the grill, I prepared some side dishes of stirred vegetables and roasted potatoes.
“How do you get all these ingredients?” Esmeralda asked, while munching on some nuts and berries I’d given her to nibble on until the meal was ready.
“Frollo,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Frollo buys your groceries?” Esmeralda exclaimed, her voice disbelieving.
I chuckled at the thought of the Praetor running such menial errands for me. “No,” I said, checking on the fish. “I give him a list of my needs, and he passes it off to the cook. Malina runs most of my errands and leaves them in the same location for me, near one of the hidden passages of the temple. That is also where she leaves my meals… or rather did when I still lived in the temple.”
“So Malina knows about you?” my woman asked.
I hesitated before shaking my head. “She knows of the gardener who lives in the temple. However, she has no idea I am a Fallen. I doubt she even knows my name. Frollo told her I was a Noletian hybrid.”
“Aah, clever!” Esmeralda said. “Half of them develop extreme photosensitivity in their early teenage years while having perfect night sight.”
“Correct. And that’s why I have a cloak for the few times I need to go into the temple during daylight,” I explained. “But, most of the time, I live on a reversed schedule than the rest of the population.”
I didn’t add that living at night made it easier than staring all day at the life I couldn’t partake in. And yet, that hadn’t stopped me from watching the population for hours in the early hours of the morning before finally seeking my bed, or in the late afternoon after rising.
“Frollo forbade the staff from seeking me out, stating that a few exposures to sunlight had left me badly scarred, which made me extremely self-conscious.”
“He has thought of everything,” Esmeralda said pensively.
I didn’t need to ask where her thoughts had wandered off to. The same questions that had plagued me earlier were now tormenting her. But in a tacit agreement, we didn’t delve into the subject just yet. After I finished preparing our meal, I served us each a plate.
“That smells wonderful, but it’s way too much food!” Esmeralda exclaimed at the very generous portion I’d given her.
I scratched sheepishly at the scales along my neck. “It’s early afternoon. You must be famished. I cannot allow my mate to starve.”
She burst out laughing and shook her head at me as if I were silly. “So, instead, you’ll stuff me until I get indigestion.”
I muttered something mostly unintelligible before apologizing for the lack of fancy tableware, which earned me another ‘don’t be silly’ kind of reaction. Despite her comment about the portion size, my woman dug into her food with a healthy appetite, moaning in delight after the first bite. She ended up devouring more than two-thirds of her plate. I couldn’t tell which one of us was the most surprised, but it pleased me she’d enjoyed something I’d made for her this much.
Sadly, our amicable and relaxed chatter as we ate ended too soon.
“I must return to the temple,” Esmeralda said with a somber tone.
“Why?” I asked, crestfallen. “Frollo will not return until tomorrow.”
“Right, but Malina will have sent food up for me,” my mate argued. “While she may not question me sleeping in late, she will grow worried—if not suspicious—if I don’t collect the heated food tray outside my room in the next hour or so. She’s already too well aware of my gargantuan morning appetite.”
“I see,” I said, schooling my features not to show how badly her words had crushed me. I’d foolishly imagined we’d spend an entire day together without fear of reprisal.
The commiserating look on her face told me I’d failed miserably at hiding my feelings. Rising to her feet, she circled around the table and settled on my lap.
“Don’t look so sad, my love,” Esmeralda said, rubbing her nose against mine before kissing my lips. “I’m only going to let them see me a few times in the next hour then ask not to be disturbed for the rest of the day. And then I’ll come right back to you.”
My heart soared at that news. As much as I hated parting from her even for a minute, one hour would allow me to prepare some romantic escapade for the two of us. I wanted us to enjoy as much of this day as possible before we had to tackle more difficult discussions.
“All right,” I said, unable to suppress my beaming smile.
She chuckled again, kissed me with a bit more passion this time, and then reluctantly pulled out of my embrace.
“You are far too tempting, Kwazeem. You will drive me to distraction!”
“And I have no shame about it.”
With a heavy heart, I waited for her to retrieve her sandals from the bedroom then escorted her to the entrance of the hidden passage. As I watched her walk down the path alone, an inexplicable sense of doom grew within me with each step taking her farther away from me. When she turned the corner and vanished from view, a single thought replayed in a loop in my head: I would never get her back.
Chapter 12
Esmeralda
The minute I walked away from Kwazeem, from his wonderful aura, the weariness that had pestered me all morning returned with a vengeance. My body had never felt so weak before. By the time I reached the elevator, I had to lean against the wall to hold me up. When the lift stopped on my floor, it took every bit of my energy to make it to my door without crawling on all fou
rs. Thankfully, there was no one around to witness my current pathetic state.
I hauled in the hovercart carrying the heated, covered plates the cook had left outside my quarters for me—as expected—and closed the door. With much difficulty, I made a beeline for my bed and collapsed on it. Sprawled on the divine mattress, my feet hanging over the edge, I could have wept with relief. My head swam, and my body tingled with numbness.
Vestals burning out on their first Festival was commonplace. The Matriarchs on Obscura had regularly warned us against pushing too hard to prove ourselves or out of fear of disappointing our host. Considering my phenomenal performance last night—in large part thanks to Kwazeem enhancing me—it wasn’t surprising I’d be crashing so hard. But the timing couldn’t have been more rotten. Without my mate’s aura to sustain me, I would never have the strength to go back to him. He would worry terribly.
And then he’ll come check up on you and see that all is well.
That slightly appeased me. Kwazeem knew every secret passage in and out of the temple. He would find his way to me without getting noticed. In a way, it might be better if he came here. He could remain out of sight when Malina came knocking again for supper and leave at first light before Frollo returned. Anyway, we would see Frollo’s shuttle approach long before it landed, which would give my man plenty of time to return to his cabin.
But, in the long term, that wouldn’t be a viable situation.
The questions I had been dodging and avoiding were now demanding to be answered. I’d shamelessly pursued the object of my desires and gotten the man my heart ached for. But where did we go from here?
I didn’t want to hide my relationship with the man I loved. Lurking in the shadows, stealing kisses behind closed doors, and sneaking in and out of each other’s rooms like adulterers wasn’t the future I wanted for us. And, at some point in the future, I would want children with my man.