by Lily Reynard
For the second time today, she had endangered her position here by giving in to her base impulses. Why am I unable to fight my urges when it comes to Jim?
And what about Dan? She remembered their embrace last night, and how right it had felt, with his strong arms around her.
Am I going to ruin everything? Despair flooded through her. I don't want to leave Christopher. Or this ranch.
◆◆◆
Dan was sitting on the bench in the foyer, pulling on his boots in preparation for finishing up his evening chores when Abigail burst through the front door and ran up the stairs.
She looked like she was ready to cry as she dashed by Dan without noticing him. Her normally neat bun had come undone, and a heavy loop of braid sagged onto her shoulder.
Jim, you son of a bitch! Dan forced himself to wait until he heard her bedroom door slam shut before he tore open the front door and went to confront his brother.
His twin was sitting on the porch swing right outside the door. Dan was expecting to see one of Jim's familiar smirks. Instead, his brother looked shaken.
"What the hell did you do to Abby?" Dan snarled in a low voice. "She ran past me like a horse scenting a mountain lion."
Jim shrugged. "Nothing she didn't want me to do."
Then he smirked. That goddamned smirk.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" demanded Dan. "Are you trying to chase her away?"
Jim blew out a breath and his shoulders slumped. He finally looked abashed. "Look, I'll tell you everything… if you promise not to tell Abby that I've told you. It would be too embarrassing for her."
"Fine," Dan snapped. "I promise."
"We, uh, kissed." Jim's face darkened as a flush rose under his tan.
"What?" Dan had suspected as much, but a jolt of pure rage shot through him as his brother brazenly admitted to breaking his promise. "You promised me you wouldn't touch her, Jim. And what the hell was all that talk earlier about a bath?"
"So, that damned troublemaker Thunder took off after some mares this morning," Jim began.
He continued to describe the afternoon's events, beginning with being thrown by their youngest stallion, and continuing with Abby walking in on Jim during his bath, and ending with a kiss on the porch swing.
"—look, none of this was really my fault. She's the one who was peeping in on me. And just now…she wanted me to kiss her. I've been around enough women. I know the signs," Jim finished.
Dan shook his head. "That's a load of whitewash," he retorted. "Considering how you're always sniffing around every pretty girl. And our Abby seems so sweet and innocent…"
"Well, I'm telling you the truth," Jim snapped. He stood and strode past Dan into the house, leaving Dan to stare after him, fuming.
He promised to keep his hands off Abby, and now he's kissing her? Jealousy seared through him like a grass fire pushed by a stiff wind. Dammit. If Jim can ignore our agreement and kiss her, then I'm free to try, too!
Truth be told, he hadn't been able get her off his mind since he'd held her in his arms yesterday.
But would she even be interested in kissing me, now that Jim's made his move? And how am I going to convince her to give me a chance?
Dan wasn't sure yet how he was going to accomplish the feat, but he vowed to find a way to let Abby know that Jim wasn't the only one interested in her.
Chapter 8
In the aftermath of that devastating kiss, Abby wanted to hide in her room until breakfast.
She should be mortified that she had let Jim kiss her. She really shouldn’t have given in to temptation. But it had been a feast for her senses, gentle and sensual, yet with genuine passion and hunger. Even though she knew it was wrong, she hadn't been able to help herself from doing it anyway.
Although she didn't regret kissing him, she also couldn't make it a habit. She needed this job, and she didn't want to do anything further to risk her place here on the ranch.
And how would Daniel react if he found out about the kiss? The thought crept in like an unwelcome stranger, making her stomach tighten in dread.
I need to pretend that last night never happened. And to hope that Jim is enough of a gentleman not to bring it up again.
Abby found herself longing for someone to talk to about her precarious position at the ranch and her deeply conflicted feelings for her handsome employers. But if she wanted to keep her reputation untarnished in Twin Forks, she couldn't possibly breathe a word about what had happened.
After all, wasn't that why she'd come here? To make a fresh start for herself, far away from the scene of her previous shame?
Trying to compose her nerves, Abby sat at the desk and began to write Emma a note asking the other woman if she would permit Abby to call upon her after church on Sunday.
She had finished the note to Emma and was concluding the letter to her parents when she heard Chris crying in the nursery.
He probably needs his diaper changed, she thought.
And that reminded her that tomorrow was laundry day.
When she cautiously opened her bedroom door, she discovered that Jim had been true to his word.
He could apparently move as silently as a cat when he wanted to, because she hadn't heard anyone on the stairs or in the upstairs hallway. But someone had clearly come and gone, leaving a pair of neatly folded empty burlap sacks, one placed in front of her door and one in front of the nursery.
Chris stopped fussing once she cleaned him up and pinned on a fresh diaper.
Then came her next challenge. She wanted to change his crib bedding so that the set currently in use could be laundered.
Abby lifted him out of his crib and tried putting him down on the knotted rag rug.
As soon as she released her hold on him, he began to wail loudly. She winced, aware that she'd left the nursery door open. Her employers were probably already in bed and trying to sleep, since they rose every morning at dawn. She bent and hastily picked the baby up again.
Chris quieted down as soon as he was nestled in her arms once more.
She looked down at him ruefully and dropped a kiss on his soft head. "You poor thing. Missing your mother, I wager."
Then she heard footsteps coming down the hall outside.
Oh no! What if it's Jim? How can I possibly look him in the eye?
Especially when her lips were still tingling from his kiss after more than an hour, and a wild mix of emotions stewed in her chest.
In a panicked moment, she considered closing the nursery door, in hopes of avoiding him.
Since when have you become such a coward, Abigail Rose?
But it wasn't Jim who appeared in the nursery doorway a moment later. Abby wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when she looked up from her efforts to balance Chris on one hip while trying to change the crib sheets one-handed.
"You look like you could use a hand," Dan said in that deep, soft voice she found so appealing.
"Oh, I'll be all right," Abby assured him. "I'll be finished in just a minute."
Instead of leaving, Dan stepped inside the nursery and held out his arms. "Here, I'll sit with him a space while you finish what you're doing."
"Thank you so much," Abby said with a twinge of apprehension.
Dan looked serious, and she suspected that he hadn't dropped by merely to see whether she needed help.
Chris didn't protest as she handed him to his uncle. Dan cradled the baby in his arms with the ease of experience and lowered himself into the rocking chair.
With an effort, Abby tore her gaze away from the heartwarming sight of the big man gently rocking Chris and tried to concentrate on smoothing and tucking a set of clean bedclothes. The used linens were heaped next to her feet.
"So, how did your day go?" Dan asked softly. "I noticed Jim giving you a hard time at dinner tonight. You want me to tell him to lay off?"
Guilty heat flooded her face. Does he know about this afternoon? Or, worse yet, that I let Jim kiss me?
"Oh, no," she hast
ened to assure Dan. "It's fine, really. He was just teasing me." She forced herself to shrug nonchalantly. "I have a brother. I'm used to it."
It was the truth. Abby's younger brother Billy was fifteen and enjoyed riling her up. She desperately hoped that this answer would satisfy Dan's curiosity and that he wouldn’t ask her anything else about Jim, especially with all of her emotions stirred up like this.
She couldn't deny that Jim's kiss had shaken her to her core. But that didn't matter.
Because no matter how much she had liked it, Jim had been absolutely right. It couldn’t happen again. She would have to treasure the memory as a one-time occurrence.
She stole another glance at Daniel. And I can’t ever let him—or anyone else—find out about it.
◆◆◆
Now. Ask her now, before you lose your nerve, Dan told himself, watching Abby's lovely profile as she bent over the crib, smoothing the coverlet.
He couldn't figure out why he felt so off-kilter every time he was in her presence. It wasn't like he hadn't been around women before. Women might be few and far between in Twin Forks, but they were generally the kind that were extremely welcoming with their favors.
With the exception of Mrs. O'Sullivan and Mrs. Kottinger, he reminded himself.
He cleared his throat. "So, Abby, I was wondering…"
"Yes?" She looked at him with those gorgeous blue eyes, and he momentarily lost his train of thought.
"Uh, well, I noticed you like to go walking," he blurted.
She suddenly looked uncertain. "I hope that's all right. I promise you that I'm not shirking my duties."
Dammit, I had a smooth speech all prepared! Well, nothing to do now but continue to ford this conversational stream, no matter how treacherous the footing.
"That’s not what I was aiming at," he hastened to assure her and was immediately rewarded by the relief on her face "I was only wondering if I might accompany you on a stroll after lunch tomorrow, while Jim's in town and Chris here is napping?"
She brightened at the question, which warmed him inside. But she sobered again almost immediately.
"I—-I don't think that would be very good idea. Sorry." Her straight, white teeth caught her plump lower lip, and he couldn't look away.
I've got better things to do with those gorgeous lips than chew on them like that.
It took a moment for her words to penetrate his fractured attention. Wait? She said no? But why?
Everything about her is telling me that she wants to say yes!
"But what about bears?" he blurted.
Her eyes widened. She straightened up to face him. "Bears?"
"Yeah, lots of 'em in this area," Dan said. He felt compelled to add, "The black bears aren't really dangerous, unless you get between a mama bear and her cubs, but the grizzly bears are a whole 'nother story…" He dropped his voice. "They're man-eaters, Abby. Our ranch hands never ride out on the range without a rifle or shotgun."
Her face was pale now. "I had no idea!"
Dan nodded, trying to quell a stab of guilt for worrying her. "And there are wolves and mountain lions on this ranch, too." He shook his head. "Walking alone and unarmed isn’t safe."
He wasn't exactly lying about the local wildlife, but the ranch's resident wolves and mountain lions lived miles away, in the foothills and mountains. Under normal circumstances, they actively avoided human contact.
As for the bears…the miners had decimated the local bear population after losing too many precious supply caches. The young black bear that had spooked their horses the other day had been an uncommon sight.
Abby chewed on her lip for a few moments longer, her smooth brow creased in thought. Then she smiled at him, and he felt like the sun had just appeared from behind a cloud. "In that case, thank you for your offer. I'd love to walk with you."
Chapter 9
The next morning seemed to drag on forever. Dan rose at dawn, as usual, and performed his usual round of chores, working with Jim and Huritt to feed the stabled horses and muck out their stalls.
As promised, Jim left for town right after breakfast, while Dan and Huritt continued to halter train and saddle train the current batch of horses and mules contracted for delivery to the army later in the summer.
"So, does your brother intend to marry Abby?" Huritt asked during a break in the training.
Dan was still haunted by the revelation that his brother had kissed Abby. Huritt's question hit a sore spot.
"No," he answered, more sharply than he intended.
Huritt raised his brows. "Why not? She is young, unmarried, and he seemed very taken with her. And she with him."
Abby's soft on my brother? Dan's heart sank. Since yesterday evening, he'd managed to convince himself that Jim's advances had probably been unwelcome.
He scowled.
"Hm." Huritt pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Is she not caring properly for Christopher?"
"She's doing a fine job," Dan said shortly. "And I don't want my brother to scare her off by coming on too strong, if you know what I mean."
Huritt gave him a long, level look. "You're jealous."
"I am not jealous!" Dan protested, stung that he was so transparent to a man he admired. "I just…"
"…want her for yourself?" Huritt finished. He shook his head and sighed. "Be careful, Dan. Jealousy is poison between brothers."
Then they returned to work. Huritt didn't mention Abby again, but Dan found his thoughts revolving around her like a toy swung on a string, whirling furiously around and around but never getting anywhere.
When lunchtime finally rolled around, Dan took extra care washing his face and hands before entering the dining room.
Abby looked pretty as a picture with Chris on her lap.
Jim hadn't returned from town yet, so Dan enjoyed the pleasure of having her company all to himself. They sat across from each other and ate Isaiah's excellent chicken and dumplings while Abby mashed up some of the vegetables in the sauce and fed Chris small spoonfuls alongside the milk from his bottle.
Once they had finished eating, Abby took the baby upstairs to change his diaper and put him down for his post-lunch nap, then she washed their dishes.
Dan took the opportunity to stroll over to the bunkhouse to find Mukki.
As he'd expected, his young cousin was only too happy for an excuse to get out of cleaning and oiling tack in exchange for babysitting duties and the promise of another silver dollar.
Back at the house, Dan helped dry the plates and cups and put them away in the cupboard. The rest of the kitchen was already neat as a pin—Isaiah always kept things as spit-and-polish as if he expected an army inspector to descend at any moment.
"You still up for that walk?" he asked, doing his best to keep his tone casual as he hung the damp dishtowel on a peg to dry.
To his pleasure, Abby nodded eagerly. Dan led the way to the front of the house, remembering to grab his hunting rifle from its rack in the foyer.
He slung the rifle strap over his shoulder and offered her his arm. To his pleasure, Abby slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow as they strolled past the stables and bunkhouse.
They walked for a while in comfortable silence as they headed up the narrow track down towards the creek. Unlike a lot of city folk that Dan had met, Abby didn't chatter mindlessly to fill up the deep silence. Instead, she looked around with an observant air.
Dan found himself pointing out a doe half-hidden in the tall grass of a pasture, and the bald eagle perched on a dead cottonwood tree on the stream's banks.
"It's so beautiful out here. And you and Jim don't mind living here all by yourselves with Chris?"
"Well, there's Huritt and the ranch hands," Dan pointed out.
"But no other family? Other than your Indian cousins, I mean?"
Dan shook his head. "This is beautiful country, as you can see." He made a gesture that encompassed the lush pastures all around them and the majestic backdrop of towering, snow-capped mountains. "But it's a
lso a hard place, and dangerous."
Abby nodded as they began to descend the slope leading down to the creek. "It seems like a country with much opportunity but also a great deal of tribulation."
Dan gave a short, bitter laugh. "You can say that again." He took her hand and led her over to a large fallen log. "I wanted to show you something special. If we sit here a while, and we're lucky, we might get to witness that eagle grabbing a fish right out of the water. It's a sight to behold."