“Oh, you are the best,” I said. It would take me about a thousand years to list all of Emma’s talents. Right now, those talents involved knowing that I needed cake and bringing it to me.
“I try,” she said as I shoved one of the little cakes into my mouth. It had blackberry jam in the center and when I bit down some of it squirted down my chin. Emma smiled and mopped my chin with a napkin she pulled out of nowhere.
“I’m a mess,” I said, taking the napkin and finishing the job myself. “Am I good?”
“You two are so cute,” Sammi said, putting her head against Nova’s arm. Nova dwarfed Sammi by almost a foot, so Sammi couldn’t put her head on Nova’s shoulder without a stepladder.
“What?” I asked, as Emma tossed the napkin and ate one of the cakes much more daintily than I did, and without spilling anything on herself. Unfair.
Nova nudged Sammi and gave her a look.
“You two are so cute. As friends. You know,” Sammi said.
“Riiiiiight,” I said, drawing the word out. What was she talking about? I looked at Emma, but she was concentrating real hard on the two cakes left on the plate.
“On that note, I have to go make a speech,” Nova said, and she joined Skye and Dierdre, calling for everyone’s attention.
“Thank you all for coming to our show,” Nova said. I glanced at Sammi, who was glowing with so much pride, she was almost incandescent. Fuck, I wanted that.
Something made me look at Emma and I found her watching me with an intensity that made my cheeks go red. So distracted by her, I missed Nova’s speech and was a little late in raising my glass. Oops. Distraction had replaced Jean as my middle name today.
WE HUNG AROUND FOR a little while longer and I had a few more cakes before we headed out to the movies.
“Are you even going to want popcorn after all that?” Emma asked as we hopped on the train to get to the theater.
“Hell yes, and a giant drink, but I’m hoping there will be a dead zone where I can pee, because there’s no way I’m making it through this entire thing without going at least once.” Why didn’t long movies come with an intermission, like plays? It was so annoying.
“I’ll just let you know what you missed when you come back. No hurting your kidneys,” she said.
“That’s why you’re the best,” I said. She really was. “And I’ll do the same for you. That’s what best friends and fake wives are for.”
I ended up having to pee twice during the movie, and Emma got shushed the second time I came back when she told me what had happened. I glared at the person and thought about dumping ice on their head, but refrained.
“I can’t believe you ate all that popcorn,” Emma said as I dumped the empty box in the trashcan after the credits rolled.
“I think there’s enough sodium to completely preserve my body in the event of my death, so who’s winning here?” I shot back.
Emma shook her head. “Are you even hungry? Should we wait a little while before we have dinner?” I was pretty full from everything still.
“Yeah, you wanna just walk around?” She agreed and we left the theater to wander up and down the street, stopping in any stores that looked interesting. Of course I dragged her into a bookstore and she followed me around as I piled paperbacks in her arms. I also grabbed a Blind Date with a Book, because why not? It was an easy impulse to indulge in that didn’t hurt anyone.
“You should get one,” I said, as I looked at the descriptions on the wrapped books. You couldn’t see the title, author, cover, or blurb, but someone had written a sparse description and you picked your choice based on that. I loved it.
“This looks cool,” she said, nodding at one on the second shelf. I picked it up for her and we both walked to the counter to check out.
“I’ve got this one,” I said, adding her book to my stack. I winced at the amount, but books were better than something else I might blow my paycheck on.
“Shit, I should have brought my backpack,” I said, realizing too late that I would have to carry all these books back home. “I think I might have made a mistake.”
“I tried to tell you. We can take a car home if you want.” Emma took one bag and I took the other as the cashier handed me the receipt.
“I think we also might need some more bookshelves if you’re going to keep buying books,” Emma said, as I held the door for her. She had a point. I did tend to buy a lot of books. More so now that I had an actual place to store them. I’d crammed my tiny room full of as many as I could and it was a disaster. Wobbly piles everywhere, but I knew which book was in which stack.
“That would be great. But you’ll have to tell me when to stop because without any regulation, I’m liable to fill the entire apartment and then there will be no room for the puppy.” Emma groaned.
“I forgot about the puppy. I don’t think I'm up for that today.”
“Speaking of that,” I said, reaching out and stopping her from walking, “can we get tacos and then go to the shelter? Just to look?” I tried batting my eyelashes for good measure. That was supposed to work, right?
“Why are you blinking like that?” Emma asked, looking concerned.
“I was batting my eyelashes,” I said, a little miffed. Guess I hadn’t done it right.
“Yes, we can get tacos and then go to the shelter, but just to look,” Emma said. “Why do I always feel like the mean mom in this friendship?”
“I mean, you could just give in to my demands and then you wouldn’t have to.” Emma snorted.
“You’re impossible,” she said.
“Is that one of my talents?”
“Definitely,” she said.
We reached the taco place and I sat down with the books as Emma got our food. I couldn’t stop thinking about potentially getting a puppy. I was a five-year-old, apparently. Emma was quiet.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, just thinking.” She didn’t sound like she was thinking about anything good.
“We don’t have to get a puppy if you don’t want to. Please don’t give in to my demands just because you’re my best friend. That’s not good for either of us.” All my words came out in a rush. The last thing I wanted was for Emma to cave to something she didn’t want just because she wanted to make me happy. We’d end up resenting each other and I couldn’t handle that. Not a good way to go about a fake marriage, or a real one. This was good practice for the real thing I might have someday.
She shook her head. “No, no, I’m actually excited about the puppy, now that I’ve had some time to think about it. If we find the right one, of course. We might want to do some research on breeds and so forth before we pick one, though. We can’t just pick the first one that’s cute, no matter how much we want it.”
“Why not?” I shoved an entire tortilla chip in my mouth and crunched down on it.
“Callyn. Because we might end up with a dog that will be massive when it grows up and completely destroy our entire apartment because it needs a yard to run around in?” Oh, yeah, good point. I hadn’t thought about that.
I put my hand up to stop her. “Okay, okay. You’re right. We’ll agree to look today, and do our research before we commit. So we’ll do the opposite of what we did when we got married.”
I paused for a second. “Did you ever remember anything? About how it happened?” Emma shook her head and then dropped her taco on her plate, where it shattered.
“Nope,” she said, staring down at the sad remains of a once-great taco that had caved to pressure.
“Me neither,” I lied. “Guess we’ll never know whose idea it was. So far, being married has been fine. I mean, I think living together has been more of an adjustment than the marriage stuff.”
“True,” she said, giving up on trying to put the taco back together and going at it with a fork.
We finished our food mostly in silence, and I didn’t like it. There was still something bothering her and I wanted to know what it could be. Maybe seeing cute puppies
would perk her up?
Emma and I took a car to the shelter, and I couldn’t help but squeal with excitement as we walked in. Emma took the lead and I followed behind her, hauling the books. Why had I bought so many?
“Yes, we’re considering getting a dog and we’d like to see what you have, as well as know what the process is like?” Emma said to the woman with the curly bleach-blonde in a polo shirt behind the tall counter. Lots of barking came from a room off to the right and I could sense the dogs were just out of reach. So close.
The woman smiled and looked at me, hunched over with two bags of books. I should have gotten one about raising dogs, probably. I tried to give her my most-responsible smile. She glanced back at Emma.
“Okay, well you need to fill out an application, which you can do now, and we’ll take you back and you can see the dogs we currently have for adoption. Were you looking for more of an older dog, or a puppy? Several litters were just dropped off last week, so we’re a little desperate for homes right now.” I wanted to cry when she said that.
“Think of all the poor babies,” I said to Emma, as she started filling out a form on a clipboard and the woman took a phone call.
“Let’s get the form filled out first,” Emma said. “You need to do one too.” I picked up a clipboard and started filling it out. “Oh, it asks if we’re married. We can say yes.” I checked the box and my stomach felt like it was going down a roller coaster. My life was so weird right now.
Emma and I finished the forms and chatted with Deb, the volunteer.
“I think we definitely want a puppy?” I said, and Emma agreed. “We have a pretty decent apartment, but maybe one on the medium or smaller sized. Not too hyper?” Deb nodded and took us down the hallway as the rows of dogs barked or wiggled or tried to hide.
“I’ll show you a few of the puppies we’ve got right now, there’s quite a few to choose from. We’re not totally sure on the breeds since they’re mutts, but we can estimate what size they might be when they’re grown.” That sounded fine and I had the sudden urge to take Emma’s hand. As if we had to play pretend married in front of Deb. Like she wouldn’t give us a puppy if we didn’t show that we were really a couple. What nonsense.
Deb came to the end of the hallway and took us through another door that had smaller cages stacked on top of one another.
“Oh my god, look at them,” I said as we were assaulted by little puppy barks.
“We can’t take them all. We can only take one,” Emma said in my ear, but she was grinning too.
“I know, but that won’t stop me from wanting to take them all,” I whispered back.
Someone called Deb back to the front so she told us to look around and then she’d come back and we could take out any puppy we were interested in.
Emma and I strolled up and down the rows of cages. I was waiting for a connection to hit me. When I met our dog, I would know.
“Hello precious babies,” I said as they wiggled and cried for attention and tried to lick me through the bars of the cage. There were signs all over the place saying not to put your fingers near the cages and I decided to err on the side of caution.
“Hi sweetheart. Aren’t you adorable?” I heard Emma say and turned to see her making eye contact with a little black shape that was wiggling so hard I couldn’t get a visual handle on how big it was.
I joined her and made eye contact with the black blur, which turned out to have blue eyes almost exactly the same shade as Emma’s. The puppy stopped moving and stared at me and that was it. My moment. Our eyes locked and then the puppy started the wiggling again and Emma put her arm around me.
“What about this one?” she asked.
Deb returned and we both pointed at the black puppy. “That one.”
Deb smiled. “Oh, he is a sweetheart. Such pretty eyes. He’s the runt of the litter, so I think that’s why no one has taken a fancy to him yet. He’s either energetic or sleeping, and he certainly seems to like you.” Deb pulled him out of the cage and set him down on the floor where he was so excited we couldn’t get a hold of him. Emma and I both got down on the floor and he jumped up and licked our faces, going back and forth as if he couldn’t decide who he loved more.
“Yes, you are a good boy,” Emma said.
“The best boy,” I told him. He yipped in happiness and spun in circles.
Deb chuckled. “Looks like he’s picked you. What do you think?” I shared a glance with Emma and it was one of those moments where we didn’t need words.
“He’s ours,” I said. I didn't even think to ask what kind of dog he was.
“I know we weren’t planning on taking a dog today, but look at him,” I said to Emma as Deb went to process our paperwork.
“I know,” Emma said as the puppy ran to a corner and grabbed a squeaky toy, bringing it back and dropping it at her feet, looking up expectantly. He really did have extraordinary eyes. His face was a little smushed, but his ears were enormous.
“At least he won’t need a lot of grooming, since he has short hair,” Emma said.
“Right. Oh look, he’s got a heart on his belly.” The puppy had rolled onto his back and was looking at both of us as if we knew what he expected us to do.
“He does,” Emma said, scratching his belly as his eyes closed in bliss.
Deb came back and told us that we’d been approved and gave us a bunch of information about vaccinations and food and I let Emma handle most of that since she was the one who would actually remember to make the appointments with the vet and keep them.
Since we didn’t have any supplies for our new addition, we bought a bag of food, a carrier, and more toys than the puppy would ever need from the shelter.
“Here’s some information on local trainers and classes,” Deb said as she put our new addition into a carrier for the trip home.
Emma and I called a car and I worried the driver would be unhappy about the puppy, but the woman who came to pick us up exclaimed how cute he was and helped us get everything in the car and gave us tips on the ride back to our apartment.
“We have a dog,” Emma said, as we walked through the door. We had to make a few trips to get everything upstairs, but once we did, I set the carrier down.
“So, I think we should puppy proof this place before we let him out? Maybe we can put him in the bathroom for now,” I said, as if I knew what I was talking about.
Emma agreed, so we moved everything in the bathroom out of chewing range and then went like tornados through the rest of the apartment, trying to make sure we moved anything he might get into, or gnaw on.
“I mean, a little bit of chewing is going to happen. I just have to accept it. Chew marks will give our furniture character,” Emma said as I spread the toys out on the living room rug.
“You know what we forgot to get? Those wee-wee pads. And maybe we should get a gate and section it off before we let him have the run of the place,” I said. Crap. He was going to pee all over this place.
Emma stood up. “Right. Okay. I’m going to go get those and you stay here with him. He might be hungry or thirsty, so fill up his bowls.” Emma was already a nervous dog mom and it was cute as hell. I went into the bathroom and found our new baby crying, but as soon as he saw me, he skidded over and put his paws on my legs.
“Hey, baby. I’m sorry we had to put you in here. That wasn’t very nice, was it?” Not wanting to leave him again, I picked him up and just carried him to the kitchen with me as I washed out his new bowls and filled one with water and the other with food.
Emma came back a while later hauling a metal cage and a giant bag of pee pads.
“Okay, let’s set this up. How’s he doing?” I looked up from my position on the floor where he was asleep in my lap and making soft snoring noises.
“Help,” I said. “He’s so cute and I don’t want to move him.” Emma laughed and joined me on the floor.
“What are we going to call him?” she asked.
“I’ve been thinking about that,�
� I said, stroking his velvety ear. “What about Vegas?”
“I love it. Is that your name?” Emma said to the sleeping puppy whose eyes shot open and he abandoned me to let Emma know how much he had missed her.
“Is your name Vegas?” she asked him, and he barked twice. “That sounds like a yes.”
“Good enough for me,” I said, watching as Emma cooed and fussed over Vegas.
We set up a little puppy corner in the living room complete with blankets and toys and his food and water and wee-wee pads.
“I’ve never trained a dog before,” I said.
“Neither have I,” Emma said, as Vegas christened the floor before I could rush him to the wee-wee pad.
“This is going to be interesting,” I said.
“To the internet!” Emma said, raising her hand as if she had a saber and was charging into battle.
“You look up potty training, I’ll look up how to keep him from chewing on everything.”
“Deal,” Emma said.
Vegas chomped on a squeaky toy, as if agreeing with us.
What had we gotten ourselves into?
Six
A few hours (and used pee pads) later, we had to decide what to do with Vegas while we slept.
“If we let him sleep in our beds, then he’s going to pee in them, I hope you know that,” Emma said. She was being the mean mom again.
“But if we leave him out here by himself, he’ll be sad and lonely. We can’t do that to him. It’s his first night.” I had Vegas in my lap and he was asleep again. I’d taken him out of the little pen and brought him to sit on the couch with us after he’d given me one too many looks of sadness from puppy jail.
“Okay, so what are we going to do? Sleep in the puppy pen?” She said it like she was joking.
“Perfect! Just for tonight. We can start training him tomorrow. You have all the instructions.” She’d already made a bulleted list of all the steps and printed it out. We were going to start tonight because neither of us wanted to be cleaning up wee-wee pads forever. As soon as he woke up, we were going to take him outside and wait for him to do his thing, then reward.
Didn't Stay in Vegas Page 7