“We are definitely coming here again,” I said to Emma, as I slathered cream and jam on my third scone.
“We should. It’s beautiful here.” I hadn’t looked around much, but it really was. Deep red wallpaper and chandeliers and lots of silver and the waiters all wore white gloves.
“How’s the puppy?” Sammi asked. “He’s so freaking cute and I’m so jealous.”
Nova sighed. “You know we can’t have a dog at our place, babe.”
“I know,” Sammi said, as she frowned.
“You can come over and see him anytime,” I said. “All of you can.”
“Score,” Sammi said.
“After my honeymoon, definitely,” Lara said.
“What’s Asa doing today?” Emma asked. I’d thought that Asa and Lara would want to have their parties together, but they’d had them separate. I loved Asa. They were so perfect for Lara and the two of them together was yet another reminder that love was real and some people were lucky enough to find it.
“They’re off with their buddies doing one of those escape rooms and then going on a brewery tour.” Lara made a face. “They’ve been bugging me to do that for a year, and I’m hoping they get it out of their system because there’s no way I’m doing that.” I didn’t think it sounded like a bad time, but I knew how much Lara hated beer. I also would have loved to do the escape room, but tea was fine. We had board games next at a bar, so at least some alcohol would be involved eventually. Definitely not as much as we had in Vegas, I hoped. I didn’t think I’d ever drink like that again.
Lara launched into all the issues they were running into for the wedding and it was boring as fuck after hearing about the same problems with the napkins and the caterer and the flowers and everything, but it would be over soon and she would go back to her regular laughing self. Hopefully.
Willa hadn’t been able to come today, and I was definitely missing her. She had a last-minute family funeral for a distant relative she’d never met, but her parents had told her it was her duty to go, so she wasn’t here.
We all sipped tea and ate sweets and it was nice to have something so casual, but I did have to pee a lot, which wasn’t fun.
Emma’s hand brushed my leg and I looked up to find her staring at me.
“What?” I asked, setting my teacup down and hoping I wasn’t committing some sort of faux pas in this pristine establishment. I’d had my pinky out the whole time. You were supposed to do that, right? Should have looked it up ahead of time.
“You look really pretty today, Cal,” she said, and I had that feeling in my chest again. Like someone was blowing my heart up like a balloon until it was too large for my chest and was pressing on my ribs and other organs.
“Thank you,” I said in a choked voice. Why was this compliment completely turning me inside out? I’d never been really good with them, but when Emma said things like that, it was something else.
“You’re welcome,” she said, brushing my leg again. I flinched and my teacup clattered against the plate.
“Sorry,” I said, to no one in particular.
I (MOSTLY) GOT MY SHIT together by the time we headed to the bar for board and card games. We weren’t actually in the bar; they put us in a function room in the back, away from the regular customers.
The place was an old pub, and I swear you could smell the scent of a thousand spilled beers wafting up from the uneven wooden floor.
It was clean, but had just a little bit of a grungy and shabby edge to make it a haven for millennial hipsters.
The room had its own bar and bartender who (of course) was wearing a kilt and had Dropkick Murphy’s playing. Lilly waddled over and had him immediately change it to something different and I was a little disappointed. The bartender, who had a conglomeration of tattoos, crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.
“We should tip him really well for putting up with us,” I said to Emma, as we took a seat at a table with Nova and Sammi.
“I swear, if we play Monopoly, I’m leaving,” Nova said, making a face at the box.
“That would take way too long and I get a little too competitive when fake money is involved,” I said.
“Callyn, you get competitive with any kind of game. Do you want to talk about the Scrabble Incident?” Emma said, raising her eyebrows.
“No, I would not,” I said, staring at the stack of board games.
Lilly got up and announced that we were going to play each game for 20 minutes or less and then switch, so that we all got to play with each other. The three people with the highest scores would win prizes.
“When do we get to have drinks?” Sammi whispered to us.
“Probably after the first round,” I said. I glanced at the bartender who was messing with his phone in boredom.
The four of us chose Go Fish since it was easy and we didn’t have to think too much.
“Now, if we made this a drinking game, then that would be a party,” I said, arranging my cards in my hand. I liked to fan them out perfectly.
“I don't think that will go over well,” Emma said, staring at her own cards. She was concentrating and it was really cute. She wasn’t as competitive as I was, but she was clever and she was sneaky. I never underestimated her when it came to games, or to anything, really.
“You’re going down,” she said casually, not looking up at me.
“Excuse me?” I said, looking at Nova and Sammi to see if they’d heard her.
“You’re going down, Callyn,” she said, smirking and then asking, “do you have any sevens?”
“Go fucking fish,” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s on.”
She won the first game.
I WON THE SECOND WHEN we played Lara and Lilly at Sorry. Neither of us won the third game, Operation. In between games, we stuffed our faces with more food and I sucked down a rum and Coke.
We were going a total of five rounds and I was determined to win.
Emma had a gleam in her eyes that was so adorable that I couldn’t help but smile. She was just so fucking cute sometimes I couldn’t deal with it.
“You’re not going to intimidate me by staring at me, Callyn,” she said, when we were on our fourth game (Exploding Kittens). I hadn’t realized I had been staring at her, but then I looked at my cards in my hand and realized I had. I needed to concentrate if I was going to beat her.
“I don’t need to intimidate you. I’m above such things,” I said. We were with two of Lara’s coworkers and they’d been pretty quiet. It was pretty awkward, but we were making the best of it.
“Yeah, sure. I’m still going to crush you.”
“Nope,” I said.
She won the fourth game.
“If you don’t win this next one, I have some bad news for you,” she said in a sing-song voice. She’d had a few drinks and I was enjoying being with tipsy Emma. Alcohol made her more affectionate and silly. She kept touching my hair and leaning on my shoulder and making little goofy noises.
“You’re on your way to being a drunky skunky, Em,” I said, brushing her hair out of her face. I didn’t know if she was even going to get through the fifth game, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try and crush her while we played Candyland with two of Lara’s great aunts. They were already a few drinks in and a total riot. I couldn’t wait to see them at the wedding.
“King me!” one of them said, as she moved her piece on the board.
“That’s checkers,” the other aunt said. I could not for the life of me remember their names. I’d met too many people today and I was the worst with names. I should have requested that Lara have everyone wear nametags.
“This game would be so much better if it had actual candy involved,” I said, picking a card. “Score.” I landed on a shortcut and got to move even closer to the Candy Castle.
“Now I want candy,” Emma said, pulling a card. “Boo.” She landed on the square that meant she lost a turn. I was closer than she was, but one of the great aunts was the first one to reach
the Candy Castle. She did a little dance in her chair and the other one pouted.
“This means you have to get me a cupcake.” They both got up and left us there, not caring who came in second and third. I picked up another card because I was determined to win.
“Yes!” I got the right color card and made it all the way to the Candy Castle.
“I win,” I said, poking Emma. She rested both arms on the table and leaned on them.
“Good for you, Callyn,” she said. She didn’t seem to care. “Can we take a nap now?” Sometimes when Emma drank she got super sleepy and cuddly. Guess this was one of those times.
“I know, Em. We’ll go soon.” This whole day was designed to end before dinner so we wouldn’t be out too late. Given how tired Emma was, I was grateful.
Lilly stood in the front of the room and called everyone to attention.
“Okay, the first winner is . . . Gail!” That was one of the great aunts. She cheered and dashed up to the front to grab the gift basket from Lilly. One of Lara’s work friends got second. And third . . . “Callyn!”
I beamed at Emma and accepted my gift basket that was full of natural bath products. Oh, I was going to take over the tub with these bath bombs. Maybe I’d let Emma have a few as a consolation prize.
A few people decided to head out, and I wanted to get Emma home, and I also wanted to make sure that Vegas was okay. Reece had been sending us pictures of Vegas sleeping and even a video of him chasing a toy, but I still wanted to make sure that he hadn’t missed us too much.
“Let’s go home, Em,” I said. She’d perked up a little bit when I got her a soda and a glass of water, but she was still a little sleepy.
We hugged Lara and said that we’d see her next weekend for brunch. She demanded more puppy pictures in the group chat, and I agreed that I would share more.
I got Emma and the gift basket into a car since I didn’t want to haul the thing on a crowded train and get a bunch of looks.
“Hey, how was it?” Reece said when we walked in the door. Vegas had been asleep on the floor, but he woke right up and started barking and running in circles around us.
“Someone had a few too many drinks, I think,” I said, pointing to Emma. She yawned.
“Naptime for you, young lady,” I said, pushing her toward her bedroom. She shuffled off, giving Reece a wave.
“Thanks so much. I hope he wasn’t any trouble,” I said, picking Vegas up where he proceeded to bathe my entire face with his stinky puppy tongue. Cute and gross.
“No, he was great. He’s still really young, but he’s got a great personality. Really eager to please. I think you’re going to have good luck training him.” I counted how long Reece had been here and then sent her the amount we’d agreed upon.
“Thanks so much.” I put Vegas down and he ran to get one of his toys.
“Sure, let me know if you need me to watch him again. I’d love to.” I walked Reece out and then closed the door. Vegas followed me as I walked into Emma’s room to find her flopped on the bed with her eyes open.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be sleeping,” I said, pushing her over so I could lie next to her.
“I’m not tired. Too much thinking.” I turned onto my side to watch her. The late afternoon sunlight streamed in through the big window to our left and lit her up like an angel.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked.
She sighed.
“A lot of things, Callyn. A lot of things.”
“Do you want to tell me some of the things so that maybe we can both think about them and then you won’t have to be the only one?” She did so much for me, I wanted to try and help carry some of the weight I knew was so heavy for her. It couldn’t have been easy to take me in like this and have to worry about all the bills and going to school and pleasing her parents.
“No, it’s okay,” she said, looking at me. “I’ve got this.”
“You don’t always have to got this. Have this. Whatever. You don’t have to carry it all, Em. I can carry shit, too. I know I'm not great at it, but I want to make your life easier, not harder.” I had so much guilt for being a mess most of the time. I couldn’t count the times I’d gotten all tied up in knots and Emma had come and picked everything apart and fixed it for me. I didn’t have to ask; she just did it. Sometimes I wish she wouldn’t because then I carried the weight of having her solve my problems for me instead of me bumbling through and maybe figuring it out. I knew I needed to set some better boundaries, but we’d just been working this way our whole lives and I wasn’t sure what to say to her so that we could change it and not upset her.
“I know, I know. But this is something I can carry on my own. Promise.” I wanted to make her swear, but that seemed childish, so I didn’t. Emma closed her eyes and rested her head back on her pillow.
“I think I will take a nap.”
Vegas dashed into the room and started barking at both of us and putting his paws up on the bed. He couldn’t jump up yet, so we had to pick him up if we wanted him on the bed with us. Emma was still trying to say that we shouldn't let him sleep on our beds, but then she would let him up every single time.
“Come here, baby. It’s not fair that we’re up here.” I picked him up and put him between us. He licked Emma’s face all over and she laughed. Vegas gave me the same treatment and then sighed the cutest little puppy sigh, put his head on his paws and closed his eyes.
“I wish I could go to sleep that easily,” I said. “Look at me, I’m jealous of a puppy.”
“Me too,” Emma said, yawning.
“Do you need anything? I’ll bring you some water. You should start hydrating.” I was going to take care of her today. She was always taking care of me. Time to do start making things even. I left her with Vegas and went to grab water with the good ice and some ibuprofen and a little plate of snacks in case she got hungry when she woke up.
“You didn’t need to do that,” she said, when I came back and set everything on her nightstand.
“I’ll get you anything you want, within reason,” I said, and she smiled sleepily and curled her body around Vegas, like she was protecting him.
“Anything?” she asked.
“Within reason,” I repeated.
“Well that’s no fun,” she said around a yawn. I started to back out of the room.
“Sweet dreams, Em,” I said, before I closed the door.
Eight
“He’s going to be fine,” Emma said, as I clutched Vegas’s leash in my hands. “He’s going to be a good boy and have fun and make friends and then we’ll see him at the end of the day. You don’t want him all alone at home, do you?” I knew she was right, but I was having a hard time.
We’d toured the doggie daycare and I knew it was the right place to take Vegas and he’d have a great time, but actually leaving him here was a whole other story.
I had one more week at my hotel job before I started at the co-working space, and I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day. I’d signed up for text and video updates of what Vegas was up to, but I still wanted to pop over at lunch and see him, which they had said was fine.
“You don't want to be late,” Emma said gently.
I looked down at our baby and swallowed tears.
“Okay,” I said. We hadn’t even had him for a month, but he was such a huge part of our lives, and our lives together. Me and Emma and Vegas makes three.
Emma held the door for me and I walked in with Vegas to the reception area. The receptionist greeted us warmly and came over to take Vegas’s leash.
“Be a good boy,” I said, squatting down to rub his ears and kiss his head. Emma joined me and I watched as the receptionist took him back to the playroom.
“He’ll be okay,” Emma said, squeezing my shoulders.
“I know he will. I’m just being dramatic, as usual.” I wiped a few tears and hoped no one else saw me crying. A few other people had come in with their dogs and were dropping them off like it was n
o big deal. Well, their dogs weren’t Vegas.
“Come on,” Emma said, pulling me away.
“I don’t want to go to work,” I said, sniffing. “I hate that I’m making such a big deal of this, what the hell?” I wiped some more tears and Emma gave me a hug.
“He’ll be fine and you’re on your last week, right? You’re going to go to your new job and it’s going to be great and you’re going to get used to this and Vegas will blossom.” She probably should have told me just to snap out of it, but she didn’t because that wouldn’t have worked for me.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second.
“Okay,” I said. I had my emotions under control. Vegas would be fine. My anxieties about him were unfounded and once this day was over, I’d see that it would be okay and then tomorrow would be a little easier.
“You good?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I rolled my shoulders back and cleared my throat and I was ready to face the day of work.
“Okay, I’m going to get to the library before class. You can call or text me if you need to.” She gave me another quick hug before she headed off in the opposite direction. I had to take the train to work. I looked once more up at the building and considered blowing off work and going in to grab Vegas, but then I forced my feet to start walking in the direction of the closest station.
Time to focus on work and not think about how much I already missed my puppy.
“HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION for you,” I said to Jessika, the coworker who was also in law school. She’d been so busy that I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her yet, but I caught her in the break room having a yogurt.
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