“First? First I’m going to kiss you.” That seemed like a very good place to start.
“Kiss me, then,” I said.
“Just one more thing.” Before I knew she was doing it, she was stripping out of her pants and we were both naked. That was better and it gave me a chance to see her in all her glory.
“That’s definitely better,” I said, as she crawled on the bed and came toward me.
“I barely slept because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About this.” She stroked my face. “I know you need time, but don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel this?” She took my hand and squeezed it so hard that it hurt.
“Yes, but I still don’t know what to think, Em. I’m sorry.” She kissed my hand and then brushed some hair away from my face.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to think for a while. I’ll do all your thinking for you.” That sounded like an amazing plan. My brain worked way too hard all the time and anything that gave me a break was much appreciated. The fact that I also got to see tits was a bonus.
Emma kissed me softly. So softly that I pressed up to get more of her, but she held me down with one hand.
“Slow. We don’t have to race. We have all night. Fuck sleep.” I wanted to correct her and say that we were going to fuck instead of sleep, but I couldn’t form the words.
“Just go slow.” I could do that. I didn’t have to do everything at a frantic pace just because that’s how my brain usually functioned.
I could try, at least.
“Slow,” I said, and she tenderly kissed me again. I held myself back from lunging at her and let her ply my lips with hers, taking small sips instead of big gulps of kisses. Her mouth cradled mine and took care of me. I kissed her back, falling into the slowness and enjoying it. Making out was so underrated. Teenagers had it right. Making out was awesome, and at least we didn’t have to do it in the back of a car and worry if our parents were going to catch us.
Emma suckled on my bottom lip and I felt a shift in the air. She rolled on top of me and the shock of all of that skin was like jumping into a lake that was on fire. All my nerves overloaded.
“You okay?” she asked, because I’d stopped focusing on kissing her because there was so much skin contact happening. Especially in certain, more sensitive, places.
“Yup. Just . . . wow. Being naked with you is fucking awesome.” It sounded silly when I said it, and she laughed a little.
“It is, isn’t it? We have a lot of time to make up for, don’t we?” We did. I didn’t want to think about the fact that we could have been doing this for years. We could have been like this for years now. A sick feeling of regret churned in my stomach and I wanted to ignore it so it wouldn’t poison our moment.
“Yeah, we do. Please kiss me again.” I ran my hands up and down her soft arms. She was always so warm, and it was nice because I was always cold. As if we were created to perfectly balance each other out. Maybe we had been.
“If you insist,” she said, and her lips met mine again.
WE KISSED FOR WHAT might have been hours. It was glorious and sweet and perfect, even if I forgot to breathe a few times and Emma had to remind me, and our hair got caught or in our mouths. It was still perfect. I ran my hands up and down her back, counting each knob of her spine. I wanted to know every single corner and crevice and curve of her body better than my own.
Emma’s hands kept creeping further up my thigh and I started to laugh. She immediately pulled away from the kiss.
“Something funny?” she asked.
“Just you trying to be stealthy. I can feel where your hand is going, you know.” We both looked down to see her stroking the inside of my left thigh. She wiggled her fingers in a little wave.
“I should hope you know where I’m going. Do you want me to keep going there?” she asked.
“Yeah, you can keep going where you’re going. I’m on board. I’m completely on board. I kind of wish I was touching you like this instead, but I guess I’ll take one for the team.” She snorted.
“Yeah, I’m sure this is awful for you. A real sacrifice.”
“It’s true. I’m a saint.” I fluttered my eyelashes at her and she fluttered her fingers upward and then I wasn’t joking with her anymore.
“Saint Callyn, patron of puppies and pizza.” I wanted to tell her that I liked that assessment, but I couldn’t make my words work. I was too busy focusing all my attention on her tricky fingers that were making a slow and torturous travel up to where I needed them to be. I wanted to speed things along, but she’d said we were going to take things slow. I could do slow. I could be patient.
“Sweet Callyn, who I’m going to fuck,” she said in my ear, before lightly nipping the lobe. I had died. She was touching my ghost. There was no way I could still be alive after she said that.
“Breathe, Cal,” she said, kissing my neck and then working her way down my body. My thighs were pushed apart and she crouched between them, her fabulous ass in the air and a wicked smile on her face. This was an Emma I had never seen and I had been too overwhelmed with everything last night to register that part of it. The way her eyes changed and her energy changed and she turned into this vicious sex goddess who wanted nothing more than to murder me with pleasure. Perhaps that was what she did want.
“You ready, Cal?” she asked. No, I wasn’t, but I nodded anyway and gave in to the sex goddess that my Emma had turned into. It was the only thing to do, really.
She did devour me. She used her mouth and fingers and everything at her disposal to ravish me until I couldn’t take it anymore and I did beg. I did. I begged and cried and promised her anything to just let me fucking come. I told her she was killing me. I told her I was going to die if she didn’t touch me in the exact right way that I could totally instruct her on if she would just DO IT.
“You know, this is really interesting,” she said, sitting up and wiping her face with one hand. Her hair was everywhere and I realized we both should have put ours up before we started. Notes for next time. I was probably going to have to write this shit down: Things To Do Before Sex. Number one, put up hair.
“What’s interesting, you horrible, terrible, awful person?” I was panting and gasping and my entire body had started twitching, as if my circuits were mad that I wasn’t having an orgasm.
“Seeing you beg and plead. Under normal circumstances, I’d do anything you asked, but right now, I’m enjoying this a lot. More than I thought I would.” Her voice was calm, and she had the most satisfied grin on her face that I’d ever seen. I wanted to bite her and then make her feel this way so she would know how much it sucked.
“You’re a monster,” I said, and she shrugged one shoulder and just kept smiling.
“You have no idea.” I swallowed a scream.
“Will you just let me fucking come already? I’m afraid something bad is going to happen to my body if I don’t.” Okay, so that was a lie, but not completely. My body had never felt like this and I wasn’t sure it was okay to keep me in this heightened state without release for a long period of time.
“I guess I can let you come. But I’m going to make it happen again and again and again. I’ve been counting the days I could have given you orgasms and I have a number and I’m determined to get to that number.” It was clear, she was definitely going to kill me.
“What’s the number?” She leaned down and blew on my clit. My entire body jumped. I almost came from her breathing on me. I was that close.
“I don’t think you’re ready to hear it. But I’m keeping track. There’s a spreadsheet.” I was about to make a joke about spreadsheets, but then she plunged her fingers into me at the same time as she sucked my clit into her mouth and I came so hard that I screamed so loud, I hoped the neighbors didn't call the police. My body gave up everything but feeling complete and total pleasure so all-consuming that I didn’t know if it would ever end. I rolled over the crest and started to come down, but it was still going, just softer, which was also good. The h
ardness had faded and now I was wrapped in a warm blanket of warmth and light and desire. Like sunshine. Slowly, the climax finally faded and I was left with tingling skin and a feeling as if everything was right and good in the world and nothing could ever be bad again.
“How was that?” Emma asked, and I tilted my head to look at her. She had rested her chin on one of my knees.
“I don’t know if I can really talk about it yet,” I said. My body was still trembling and glowing and sensitive. I loved this part almost as much as the orgasm itself. The aftermath.
“I’m judging by the screaming and the moaning and everything else that it was good for you?” She had been so confident moments before, but now she was asking me if my orgasm was good.
“Yes. It was good. It was beyond good. You couldn’t tell?” Breathing was still a little bit of a struggle.
“I mean, I hoped there wasn’t any exaggeration.” I sat up.
“Excuse me? You think I could fake that shit? I’m not Meryl Streep.” Emma gave me a weird look.
“Meryl Streep fakes orgasms?” she asked, and for some reason that made me burst out laughing.
“I don’t think so, but I bet she could,” I said, and she flopped on the bed next to me. “Oh are you done now? One orgasm and you’re tapped out?”
She turned her head to the side and glared at me.
“Demanding little brat,” she said.
“I’m your demanding little brat.” Emma was interrupted from replying by a sad little yip from outside the door.
“Uh oh. The puppy has spoken.” I got up and went to the door and opened it.
“Hello,” I said to Vegas, who was wiggling with excitement that I’d listened to him. He’d even brought one of his favorite toys.
“Hi, sweet boy. Have you been waiting for us?” I wanted to pick him up, but I didn’t really want to do that naked. I pulled Emma’s robe off the back of the door and put it on.
“You’re being a little clit-blocker,” I said in an affectionate tone, as he licked my face. “Come see your other mama,” I said, and Emma slid under the covers before I plopped the puppy in her lap.
“Hello, hello, yes, I know. You’re a good boy.” I loved the high little voice she used with Vegas. It was just so sweet and cute and it made me want to cry for some reason. Seeing them together gave me too many emotions. I usually had too many emotions, like I’d been born with an excess and I’d been trying to regulate myself since birth, but this, these moments when I saw her kissing his head, made everything in me overload.
“Do you want some tea?” I asked, so I could run away and wipe my eyes in private where she wouldn't see.
“Yeah, sure. Mid-coitus tea would be lovely.” I went to the kitchen to boil some water in the electric kettle and found some tea that was supposed to support sexy feelings. I’d bought it as a joke and now I was happy that I had. I added some lemon and honey to the tea and got myself under control and made sure I didn’t look like I’d been getting emotional before I went back to find Emma petting a sleeping puppy.
“Oh no. Now we can never move or have sex again,” I said in a whisper, as I handed her the mug of tea.
“Nah, he’s fine.” I carefully got into bed with my tea. Vegas woke up a little bit, but then his eyes closed again when Emma started stroking the perfect part of his head that he loved.
“Thanks,” she said, sipping. “This is nice, what is it?”
“Remember that sex tea I bought in that shop? This is it.” Her eyes went wide.
“Oh, dear. Do you think we need it?”
“I mean, it couldn’t hurt. We’re already amazing at sex, so this is just a cherry on top. And it’s probably just hot leaf juice that does nothing, but who cares? It’s tea and it tastes good.” She nodded and we lapsed into silence as Vegas snored.
“This is kind of perfect,” she said.
“You haven’t come yet.” She almost choked on her tea.
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t have to come for sex to be amazing. Just being with you makes it perfect.” I still had my robe on and she was under the covers, which was probably practical seeing as how we had hot beverages, but wasn’t great because I couldn’t see her body.
I petted Vegas and we drank our tea.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know, but I needed something to fill the silence. I hated silence.
“Just this. How I fantasized about us being together in bed, but I also thought about stuff like this. Just being naked with you. This intimacy.” She looked over at me and smiled. “I like it and I’m scared it’s going to go away.”
Oh no, here we go again.
“Let’s not talk about that right now. Let’s finish our tea and evict the puppy and I want to make you come harder than you did for me. At least twice.” Emma gulped down her tea and I laughed. I got up and moved the puppy, taking him out into the living room and setting him in his bed and then staying until he fell asleep again.
When I got back she was waiting for me, perched on her side like a seductress.
“I tried like three other positions before I landed on this one,” she said, as my eyes went wide.
“You probably shouldn’t have told me that. I’m the one who has to try too hard to be sexy. You just . . . are.” I gestured to her.
“That’s ridiculous. You’re so sexy, Callyn. You don’t even know.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m one of those girls who’s pretty but isn’t aware of it?” I walked toward her and leaned my arms on the edge of the bed.
“No, because that’s insulting. What I mean is, that just do what your instincts tell you. It’s all hot, I promise. I’ve seen a new side of you that I never thought I would. I like it. A lot.” I could say the same about her.
“I like seeing new sides of you. Where have you been hiding Sexy Emma all this time?” She moved over so I could climb (hopefully sexily) on the bed next to her.
“She’s been waiting for you to be ready,” she said, stroking the side of my face. “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” Well, that made me feel like shit. I didn’t want to feel like shit, so I kissed her to distract myself.
I hadn’t been waiting for her, I didn’t think, but here I was, with her. I’d gotten her without even trying or wanting her. How the hell had I gotten so lucky? That was a sobering thought.
I kissed Emma hard and deep, and she let me. I kissed her frantically, unreservedly. I gave her everything I could possibly give, almost as an apology. I was sorry for not seeing her for all those years. For not seeing how she felt about me. For being so fucking oblivious. For maybe not knowing my own feelings, which were still unclear. I kissed her and then I pinched her nipples and started sucking on her neck and then made my way down her glorious body, tasting every inch before I moved on to the main event. She was so pretty here, so perfect. I didn't want to compare myself to her, but her downstairs was definitely superior to mine.
Instead of taking too much time to stare at her, I decided tasting was a much better idea. I waited for a moment to make eye contact with her so she could tell me if she wanted this or not. Even though we’d done this before, I didn’t want to make any assumptions.
“You ready?” I asked. She widened her legs and nodded.
“Fuck, yes.”
I took my time and teased her like she had for me. I could feel the contractions starting to come, could feel her legs trembling around my ears, but I didn’t let her have it. I pulled back and kissed her thighs and then started the whole thing over. I discovered that even more than pressure, what drove her wild were little tongue flicks on either side of her clit along with deep strokes of my finger inside.
“Please, Callyn, please. I need it, I have to, please.” She was right, begging rocked. I wanted to draw it out, but I also wanted to give her an orgasm so I could get her to the second in quick succession, so I fluttered my tongue on her clit and stroked her inside at the same time and kept going until I felt the
contractions with my hand and my tongue and by her noises and movements. I wanted to raise my head and see her face, but I also wanted to keep this going, so I sacrificed my look and kept my tongue doing what she needed it to do.
This time she was screaming and I definitely heard my name. That almost made me come again. Holy shit was it great to hear someone say your name in the throes of a fantastic orgasm. Top notch moment.
When she quieted at last, I risked raising my head only to find her with a completely blissed-out smile on her face and a mist of sweat on her chest that made her glisten like some magical creature.
She stroked my sweaty hair and sighed.
“You’re really good at that, Cal. I wanted to tell you that you were doing it perfectly, but I didn’t have the power of speech. That was incredible. Thank you.” I slid up her body and kissed her full on the mouth.
“You don’t have to thank me, but hearing that I’m doing it right makes me feel like I can lift a fucking car or run a marathon or enroll in grad school.” She giggled.
“Do you want to go to grad school?” she asked.
“I don’t know, that was just a thing I said. Maybe? But I have no idea what I’d go for and I’m still in so much debt that it would be irresponsible to go without a goal and an intention.” I hated the way those words sounded. I sounded like my disapproving parents, or my sister. She’d gone to grad school, but they’d completely supported that. Of course.
“You could, you know. You can do anything you want to. I want you to feel like you’re supported. I know that your parents haven’t been the best. We’re alike in that at least.” That was one of the things that had made us so close. Our parents weren’t the best. They weren’t the worst, but there was a long way from the worst to the best, with a lot of mediocre parenting in between.
“I don’t know. I’m always just trying to keep my head above water. I never feel like I have time to breathe. Except when I’m with you.” I kissed her cheek because it seemed like the right thing to do.
“That’s how I feel about you. Like everything is spinning and with you I can stand still.” I rested my head on her chest, right on top of her beating heart. It was racing, as was mine.
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