Heart of Mine

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Heart of Mine Page 5

by Lindsay Bergman


  I watched him until he disappeared from view.

  It was a while before my racing pulse calmed and even longer before the butterflies in my stomach settled. But it was my heart that was irrevocably changed. I couldn’t deny it any longer.

  I was falling in love with Alexander.

  Chapter Eight

  This was the worst day ever.

  It was the middle of April, but instead of celebrating the arrival of Spring, my parents had sat us down to deliver a piece of news that rocked our world. I’d fled to the palace in search of Arianna or Alexander. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it together, and I was desperate to confide in one of my closest friends.

  My friendship with Alexander had continued at odds over the last five months—and today that distance was unbearable. I needed him. I needed his shoulder to cry on, his understanding and his support. I needed my best friend.

  My thoughts raced wildly as I rounded the corner and bumped into a solid chest. I stumbled back a step, and was steadied by the two hands that gripped my upper arms.

  “Maddy, what are you doing here?” Alexander exclaimed in surprise. He was dressed in a gray business suit with a pale blue button-up shirt and dark gray tie. His gaze roved quickly over my face, and the welcome in his eyes turned to concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “I need to talk to you. Can we …” My words trailed off when I caught sight of the beautiful dark-haired girl behind his shoulder.

  She was wearing a classic lace and sheer dress with black high-heels and legs that went on for miles. Her thick hair was draped over bare shoulders, and the eyes that regarded me were a soft brown.

  “Oh, you’re … not alone,” I stammered like an idiot.

  “This is Isabella,” Alexander explained. “She’s visiting from Italy.” He turned to Isabella and spoke in Italian, gesturing at me with one hand. I could only imagine how he was introducing me—maybe as the little sister he never wanted?

  Luckily for him, I wouldn’t be around for much longer.

  Feeling wretched, I quietly apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I’ll just talk to you later.” I shifted to walk away, but Alexander followed after me.

  “Maddy, wait.” He took hold of my shoulders and drew me to a stop a few feet away from Isabella. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. You look like a wreck.”

  I stiffened. “Wow, thanks. I feel so much better now.” I’d left my house in such a hurry that I hadn’t even bothered to look at my reflection in the mirror. I could only imagine how bad I looked in a plain tank top and worn-out jeans, with a messy ponytail and sad, puffy eyes.

  Alexander winced. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Yeah, well …” I shrugged a shoulder as we lapsed into an awkward silence. I could feel Isabella watching us from down the hall. She was probably upset that I was monopolizing her date. “I think I should go,” I sighed.

  “No, Maddy.” Alexander took hold of my hand, preventing me from leaving. “Tell me what’s wrong first.”

  The concern in his voice tugged at my heart strings. I curled my fingers around his hand, yearning for his comfort. “Alex …” I paused, trying to figure out how to tell him that my entire life was changing.

  “Alessandro, hai bisogno di un minuto da solo?” Isabella said, appearing behind his shoulder. As she looked between us, I felt my cheeks heat. She was probably telling him to just kick me to the curb already.

  Alexander sent her a smile. “Si, grazie.”

  The warmth in his smile ripped through my heart. Did he have to smile like that at every single girl who batted her eyelashes at him? “I should go,” I said abruptly, yanking my hand from his grasp and pivoting away from them.

  “Maddy!” Alexander called, reaching out to grab hold of my wrist. He twisted me around until we were face to face and looked down at me with a frown. “What is wrong with you today?”

  Pain and anger lanced through me, intermingled with heartache. “What’s wrong with me?” I demanded in a snarl, as the emotions I’d been holding in finally spilled out. “Oh, I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I’m moving to America, that’s what’s wrong!”

  Alexander looked stunned. His grip on me slackened. “You’re what?”

  “My parents just told us this morning that we’re moving back to Montana. So I look like such a wreck today because my entire life is falling apart, and my best friend is too busy with his date to even talk to me!”

  “Maddy, I …” Alexander was clearly at a loss for words. He dragged a hand through his hair, emotion flashing in his eyes. “I’m sorry, dolcezza.”

  “Me too,” I whispered, looking away from him. “But sorry won’t fix anything.” I walked away, leaving him staring after me in stunned silence.

  “I thought I’d find you out here,” Alexander announced from behind me. He lowered down onto the grass and together we sat in a companionable silence.

  I’d been out here for the last half-hour, staring blindly out across the sea, with my thoughts and heart churning in rapid circles. I was upset over the news of my impending move, but also bothered by the jealousy that had been eating away at me since I’d started developing feelings for Alexander.

  The thought of his most recent conquest made me snort. “Where’s your date?”

  “I wasn’t on a date,” Alexander corrected. “Isabella’s father is a foreign diplomat. I was asked to entertain her while he met with my father.”

  “Having to entertain a beautiful girl from Italy—wow, what a sacrifice, Your Highness.”

  Alexander sighed over my dry remark, but didn’t bother to respond.

  “So, I’m guessing the meeting is over?” I questioned.

  “No, it’ll be another few hours.” Alexander stretched out his legs and braced his hands on the grass behind him, looking at ease despite my snarky comments.

  I frowned. “Then where’s Isabella?”

  “My father’s going to lecture me when he finds out,” Alexander began, wincing slightly. “I left her with Arianna so I could come find you.”

  “You shirked your royal responsibilities for me?” I glanced at him in surprise. Alexander always took his duty as crown prince very seriously—so much in fact, that he occasionally had trouble remembering how to be the man behind the title.

  The look Alexander sent me was undeniably tender. “I’d do anything for you, Madison. I know things have been weird lately … but you’re still my best friend.”

  Touched beyond measure, I whispered, “Thank you, Alex.”

  He smiled and bumped my arm with his shoulder. “Anytime, dolcezza.”

  His words made me cringe. They were a brutal reminder that my time here had an expiration date. I couldn’t stop the tears that suddenly ran free. Embarrassed, I turned away from him and wiped at my eyes, trying to stop the flood.

  “Ah, Maddy,” Alexander murmured, his voice heart-achingly compassionate. He sat up and drew me into the comforting warmth of his arms.

  Unable to resist, I pressed my face into his chest and finally allowed the pain to pour out in buckets of tears. Alexander held me close, whispering soothing words in Italian and occasional French. He pressed more than one kiss to my forehead in a gesture so sweet that it only made me cry harder.

  Everything I’d ever known and loved was here in Coradova. How could I possibly move away? We were going back to America to take care of my ailing grandfather. I didn’t remember much about my early childhood in Montana—only memories of time spent with my grandfather. Papa had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago and the disease had recently struck with a vengeance. As an only child, my dad felt honor bound to return to Montana so he could take care of his father and help run the successful family cattle ranch.

  I never expected my life here in Coradova to come to an end. As my tears slowed, I burrowed closer into Alexander and tried to lose myself in his arms. I didn’t want
to think anymore—about the future, about our broken friendship, about the longing that coursed through my veins, wanting to feel more than just his kiss on my forehead.

  My feelings for him had been changing over the last year, but today, it felt like I was completely falling apart at the seams. The fairytale life I’d once led had suddenly become cursed—and I doubted that even a kiss from my Prince Charming could fix it.

  “Alex, I don’t want to leave,” I whispered brokenly against his neck. I didn’t want to leave Coradova, but mostly, I didn’t want to leave him.

  Alexander hugged me tighter and pressed another one of his sweet kisses to my forehead. “I know, dolcezza. I don’t want you to leave either.”

  I tipped my head back to look up at him. We were so close that I could see every shade of blue in the concerned eyes that explored my face.

  His gaze focused in on a lingering tear. Alexander cupped my cheek and gently wiped it away. “I hate it when you cry,” he murmured, still holding my face.

  “I know, I’m such an ugly crier.” I lowered my gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious, and tried to shift backward out of his arms.

  But Alexander held me in place as his warm voice flowed over me. “Even when you cry, you’re still beautiful.”

  My eyes darted back up to his. He met my gaze unabashedly, and for once it felt like the longing between us was mutual.

  “You think I’m beautiful?” I whispered.

  A small smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “You’ve always been beautiful to me, bellissima.” With his eyes locked on mine, Alexander lowered his head. I didn’t even dare to breathe, afraid to break the spell.

  But at the last moment, Alexander moved to kiss my cheek instead. He let out a ragged sigh that matched my disappointed one, then touched his forehead to mine and whispered hoarsely, “We can’t do this.”

  Closing my eyes on a wave of regret, I whispered back. “Why not? Because it might ruin our friendship?”

  Alexander hesitated for the barest of heartbeats. “Because it could ruin everything … and I care too much to risk hurting you.” He shifted back to tuck my head under his chin and simply held me close for several long moments.

  I struggled to hide my crushed feelings, not wanting him to know how much his words had hurt me. Did he really think a relationship between us would be that disastrous? I thought it could be wonderful.

  After a while, Alexander spoke into my hair. “When are you moving?”

  “In June.”

  His arms tightened around me. “That’s in two months.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “It’s way too soon.”

  We stayed in that embrace for a long while, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon to be replaced by a clear, starlit sky. Eventually we laid down in the grass, side by side as we’d done a hundred times before—only this time, an awareness permeated the air between us.

  As we star-gazed in silence, our hands brushed time and time again, igniting my longing into a growing simmer. Finally, Alexander took hold of my hand and threaded his long fingers through mine. We didn’t speak again, but just his hand holding mine was the anchor I’d so desperately needed.

  My life was falling in splintered pieces around me, but in that moment, my world felt centered by that single, loving touch.

  Chapter Nine

  I never knew my heart could so easily be torn into two. Or imagined that my life in the Mediterranean paradise I called home might someday become nothing more than a memory. When my parents had told me two months ago that we were moving back to America, I was shocked. Even now, surrounded by packing boxes in my half-empty bedroom, it still seemed unfathomable.

  In two weeks, we would leave the home I had known and loved for the past ten years. In a mere fourteen days, I would have to say goodbye to everyone I loved ... including the prince I loved the most.

  The Royal Family was hosting a ball in honor of Her Serene Highness, Princess Arianna’s nineteenth birthday. It was only one of the many royal events I had attended at the palace over the years, but tonight, it was going to be my last.

  A million depressing thoughts tumbled through my mind as I searched my closet for my favorite dress; the shimmering emerald one that hugged my hips and flared at the calves. As I donned my dress for probably the last time, my thoughts wandered to Alexander.

  Of course he would be dressed in his very best. Always impeccable and flawless, Crown Prince Alexander James Demario de Coradova. He would shake hands with every gentleman, and kiss the hand of every lady. He would be a kind and gracious host, full of love and pride for his country. As crown prince, he would perform his duty with honor befitting the future king. When he saw me, he would smile that dazzling smile that made my heart race, sweetly kiss my hand, and make sure to save one dance especially for me.

  Then never again.

  I felt a sharp pain stab my chest. A single tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with my hand, feeling pathetic. It wasn’t the end of the world. It was just the end of my time here in this beautiful country, with the friends and family I had loved for most of my life. It was just a broken heart, no big deal.

  I sighed, once again wishing I didn’t have to choose between two halves of my heart. I was turning eighteen next month, so technically, I wasn’t required by law to move with my family back to America. But knowing that time with my grandfather was suddenly short, I felt a desperate desire to return to Montana with them. I wanted to spend whatever time was left with my Papa before he forgot about me and the wonderful memories we shared.

  Still, my heart was torn. I was committed to moving back to Montana, but that didn’t make the pain any easier to bear. Leaving Coradova meant leaving behind the one person I cared about the most: Alexander.

  It had taken me close to a year, but I’d finally realized that I was irrevocably in love with my best friend.

  With one final glance in the mirror, I turned and walked out the door. From our house at the center of town, it took us ten minutes to reach the palace where it towered at the outskirts of the capitol. Bold, imposing, protective. It was made of stone and brick, with long clean lines surrounded by marble columns and gilded wrought-iron balconies. It was as beautiful as any fairytale palace come to life straight out of a storybook, its history thick with centuries of triumph and tragedy, glamour and intrigue. War had once ravaged the small kingdom of Coradova, but for the last ninety years the House of Markham had ruled in peace.

  As we drove through the high iron gates, I surveyed the red uniformed guards surrounding the palace, grateful for their diligent protection of the Royal Family I had come to love as my own. After stepping out of the car, I followed my parents and sister up the steps, through the heavy double doors and into the palace foyer.

  It was pristine, white and wide. A curling staircase swept up one side of the main hall across from a parlor crowded with guests. Heading for the ballroom, we passed golden candelabras with flickering candles and crystal vases brimming with roses.

  I could hear Arianna’s laughter as we entered the ballroom and spotted her immediately amidst a group of handsome young gentlemen. Her silk dress was a deep burgundy with a tapered waist and full, billowing skirt. Diamonds glittered from around her neck, radiant against her olive-toned skin.

  “Happy birthday, Ari!” I said when I reached her side.

  Arianna grinned and pulled me close for a hug. Her gorgeous blue eyes sparkled. “Thank you, Maddy. You look beautiful.”

  “So do you. Are you enjoying your guests?” I pointedly eyed the handsome boys surrounding us.

  Arianna laughed in delight. “It’s been wonderful, but it’s even better now that my best friend is here.”

  I turned my gaze away, trying to fight back sudden tears. I was going to miss her so much. She squeezed my hand and smiled softly in understanding.

  A tall young man with dark hair drew her attention with a charming comment about the magnificence of her eyes. I smirked in amusement as
the young men surrounding us eagerly vied for her attention. Half-listening to their conversations, I surreptitiously scanned the ballroom.

  It was filled with the hustle and bustle of guests. Laughter and chattering voices could be heard over the classical music playing from the orchestra in the corner. There were men and women of all ages, some gathered in groups or couples, others dancing in the center of the room. Everyone was dressed in their finest, the women adorned with sparkling jewelry. Everywhere I looked I saw glitz and glamour; a common feature I had grown accustomed to seeing at these palace events.

  My eyes kept scanning the room, searching for Prince Alexander. At last, I spotted him, talking to a blond young noblewoman across the room. As always, he looked dashing in a tux with his black hair perfectly styled and blue eyes gleaming. I watched him for a moment, admiring his strong jaw and firm mouth, his broad shoulders and tall, lean figure. His skin was a tanned, golden olive. His smile a dazzling white. When he laughed, his handsome face transformed, making my heart skip a beat.

  How could I leave him?

  Suddenly, Alexander looked my way and our eyes met across the sea of faces standing between us. His expression brightened as he flashed me a dashing smile that made me go weak in the knees. Everyone in the room seemed to disappear, until I was aware of only Alexander and the warm look in his eyes. The relationship between us had continued to change over the last six weeks, strengthening and deepening into something more than just friendship—although we’d both been very careful not to cross the line.

  No matter what we were feeling, we both knew that a relationship between us was off-limits.

  Our connection was broken by the boy who unexpectedly grabbed my hand. He was tall, with black hair and brown eyes, and a familiar crooked smile. Ethan Deimos.

  “Bonjour, Maddy,” he said, speaking in French. Since the primary languages in Coradova were English and French, I had become fluent over the years.

  “Bonjour, Ethan,” I replied, smiling at my friend.

 

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