His expression softened with tenderness. “After you moved to America, I came out here often because it was one of the few places where I could truly feel close to you. So no, it doesn’t bother me. Being around horses reminds me of you, dolcezza.”
One hand slipped into my hair as the other circled around my waist, holding me tightly against him and leaving no room for me to move away. His mouth firmly met mine, the ardent flames of his kiss leaving no doubts in my mind about the truth of his words. I was relieved by what he’d said. Since I spent so much time at the stables, the scent of horses often clung to my clothes, and I was pleased that he had found it a comforting reminder during our years apart.
“You always know the right thing to say,” I told him, tenderly stroking his cheek.
Alexander smiled warmly. “That’s because I know you better than anyone.” He kissed me softly once more, then picked up a second brush to help me finish grooming the stallion.
Remembering my earlier resolve, I glanced at him, ready to confess my challenges with becoming a princess. “Alex, I wanted to—”
“Pardon,” Marius said with a bow, appearing outside the stall. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Your Highness. We received word that the king is looking for you.”
Alexander nodded. “Thank you, Marius. Is he in his office?”
“Yes, sir.”
The groom faded from view as Alexander turned toward me, his smile apologetic.
“Duty calls,” I said with a wry tone.
Alexander’s smile was rueful as he stepped closer for a kiss. His lips lingered on mine. “I’ll see you at dinner, bellissima.”
As I watched him walk away, I felt disappointed that I’d missed my chance to share my concerns with him. I could only hope that my reluctance to tell him sooner wouldn’t cause more trouble in our relationship.
We had made it through the first six courses and now I just needed to get through dessert before this long business dinner would finally be over. Of all the people who could have joined us for dinner, it was Emma Rousseau who sat directly across from me beside her parents, the Earl and Countess de Grignan. My turbulent thoughts of inadequacy had plagued me all day, and the last thing I’d needed was to be faced with the flawlessness of Lady Emma Rousseau.
She was everything that I wasn’t. Noble by birth, Emma had received the finest education, socialized with the highest standing members of the elite. She dazzled everyone with her charm and exotic beauty. Absolutely stunning in an off-the-shoulder evening gown, the olive-green of her tightly-corseted bodice brought out the color of her wide hazel eyes. I felt plain and comely in comparison, even in the gorgeous black designer gown I had borrowed from Arianna.
Not to mention, while I was completely lost in the mundane babble of business conversation, Emma seemed to shine with her clever comments. Growing up in a politician’s household, Emma’s knowledge of politics was thorough and impressive. My stomach churned when I saw the impressed gaze Alexander turned on her more than once throughout the evening.
After everything we’d gone through this last week, I was afraid to test even more of the limits of our relationship—and having Emma’s perfection flaunted in my face was making my heart sink with dread. I worried that I couldn’t be the princess the Royal Family expected, but I was even more concerned about disappointing Alexander. He deserved to have a wife that was his match in every way; someone who could help to carry the burden of his royal duty, instead of adding to it.
Watching the affectionate smile that Emma turned on Alexander, I was seriously beginning to question if the prince had made the right choice.
As we worked our way through dessert, I tried to focus on the conversation around me instead of my tumultuous thoughts. Seated next to me, a friendly middle-aged man named Simon had continuously drawn me into polite conversation. He had dark hair streaked with gray and striking emerald green eyes. He had been asking me about my family cattle ranch in Montana, his eyes sparkling with interest as I told him about the two thousand acres of land my family had owned and worked for four generations.
Normally, I loved talking about my family and home in America, but tonight it felt like my stories lacked the usual enthusiasm and I kept falling into awkward silence. Sitting on my right, Alexander glanced at me with wary eyes, and not for the first time. I pasted a smile onto my face, but I could tell by his frown that he wasn’t fooled.
When the formal dinner was finally over, our guests began to retire into the parlor. Emma’s eyes lingered on Alexander as she rose from the table to follow her parents. The prince seemed to notice as well, and shifted uncomfortably, the tips of his ears turning red.
“Well, that meal was fantastic,” Simon commented with a satisfied sigh. He patted his round stomach and sent me a beaming smile. “I particularly enjoyed the chocolate ganache.”
“It’s one of my favorites,” I agreed. “You’ll have to try the chocolate lava cake next time you’re here.”
“It sounds delightful.” Simon reached for my hand and brought it to his lips. “It was a pleasure meeting you, mademoiselle.”
“And you, monsieur.” I blushed slightly. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t the most entertaining dinner companion tonight.”
“On the contrary, ma chérie,” Simon said kindly. “The charming stories of your home in Montana were quite fascinating.” His gaze flicked over my shoulder to Alexander. “You have chosen a lovely woman to be your wife, Your Highness. If only we could all be so fortunate.”
Alexander’s warm eyes caressed my face. “I couldn’t agree more, monsieur.”
Simon sent me a wink before rising from his chair to follow the Prime Minister out of the dining room. It was nearly empty now. I could sense Alexander’s eagerness to question me. Sighing in resignation, I rose from the table as Alexander pulled back my chair. He gripped my elbow to hold me in place.
Guests dined with the Royal Family nearly every night, for both business and pleasure. Tonight we were joined by some of the advisers on the king’s Executive Council in an attempt to gain more support with abolishing the marriage law. The Coradovan Prime Minister, Grant Thomas and his wife, Colette. The infamous Earl de Grignan, Lord Henri Rousseau and his wife, Lady Arabella; as well as their daughter, Lady Emma. Monsieur Lawrence Dumont, the Attorney General. And last, Monsieur Simon Mercier, the Leader of the Lower House in Parliament.
The last of our dinner party disappeared through the door, and we were finally alone. Reluctantly, I looked up to meet Alexander’s concerned blue eyes and waited for him to pounce.
“What’s wrong, Maddy?” Alexander asked without preamble. “And do not tell me you’re fine when I know that you’re not.”
“No, I’m not all right,” I admitted. “I tried to tell you earlier in the stables, but you had to leave—and I don’t think that now is the right time to talk about it when you have guests waiting for you.”
He shot a glance at the empty doorway. “They can wait a little while longer. You’re more important, cuore mio.”
I smiled softly and touched his arm. “Thank you, Alex. But it’s going to take longer than a few minutes, and I don’t want to worry about interruptions.”
“Is this about Emma?”
“Yes ... and no.”
“I didn’t know she was going to be here.”
“I know,” I said softly.
Alexander cradled my cheek and looked directly into my eyes. “Whatever it is, we will get through this together. I am always here for you, dolcezza. Sono tuo, e tu sei mia.”
I’m yours, and you are mine.
He’d left that same Italian love note in my purse just this morning. I smiled, feeling my heart lodge in my throat. The love I felt for this man was undeniable. Since the moment he’d asked me to give us a chance, he had been a constant source of love, compassion and support. He was the rock that anchored me in place as I tried to navigate the new, unfamiliar seas of royalty.
Alexander James Demario de Coradova was my heart and s
oul.
“I love you, Alexander.”
He smiled warmly, with such love and affection in just one look that my pulse quickened. Alexander drew me into his arms and kissed me fervently. For a moment, I allowed myself to be lost in him. Nothing else existed outside my world except for his lips on mine, his brilliant blue eyes, and the arms that held me tightly against his chest.
Eventually he released his hold. I took a step back and looked up to find his eyes on me. There was a brief flash of worry before his gaze filled with tenderness. Despite my declaration of love, I could tell he was still concerned about what was bothering me.
Alexander reached out to touch my jaw, and spoke; his words simple, but ardent. “I love you.” He offered me his arm, keeping his face carefully composed.
Ethan appeared just as we reached the doorway. We stood silently for a moment, eyes averted; the awkward tension between us was acute. We had barely spoken since the night of Arianna’s birthday. The rift in our friendship was a gaping hole.
Alexander cleared his throat and forced a smile, his outward appearance nothing short of polite. His well-bred manners had been deeply ingrained since childhood, but I knew he was struggling to overcome the jealousy he harbored toward my friend. “Bonsoir, Ethan.”
“Bonsoir, Your Royal Highness,” Ethan replied with a bow. His brown eyes turned to me. “Maddy, I was hoping for a chance to talk with you. Will you join me out on the terrace?”
Surprised, I glanced at Alexander. Our eyes met and a thousand emotions seemed to pass between us. This was the first chance I’d had to try and make amends with Ethan, but I was hesitant to upset Alexander. I searched his face, trying to gauge his emotions.
At last, the prince nodded his head. Only the faint crease between his brows gave away his uneasiness. “They’ll be talking business for a while. I’ll come find you later.” He bent to kiss me, his lips hard on mine, lingering. When he straightened, his eyes were shadowed.
“Thank you, Alex. Sono tua,” I said softly, touching his cheek.
He nodded once, the hint of a smile on his lips, then turned and walked away.
I watched him leave, my heart suddenly heavy.
Even though we’d forgiven each other for our past transgressions, it still felt like our relationship was on unstable ground. It didn’t help that I’d been feeling lost and overwhelmed lately, uncertain of my ability to be a princess. And now that I knew about his past relationship with Emma, I couldn’t help but wonder if Alexander would eventually realize he’d chosen the wrong girl.
Chapter Twenty
Lost in my thoughts, it was a minute before I realized Ethan was watching me. I offered him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Ethan. My thoughts wandered off.”
“Is everything all right?”
“Um ... no, not really.” I let out a deep sigh full of regret. Ethan tossed his arm companionably around my shoulders, and steered me toward the terrace. For the first time in nearly two weeks, it felt like we were friends again. “Tell me what’s going on and we’ll figure out how to fix it.”
I smiled at him, grateful for his attempt to bridge the gap between us. It had been incredibly awkward since Arianna’s birthday. We’d barely spoken or even made eye contact. I was glad for this chance to make amends with my friend.
Once outside, we talked and wandered down the pathway along the lawn. The crisp night air was calm and refreshing, and thick with the salty smell of the sea. As we strolled down to the scenic overlook, the sound of the crashing waves below grew louder. Ethan listened quietly as I shared my concerns and worries, his expression thoughtful. After we had circled back around the lawn, I came to an abrupt stop on the terrace and turned away to stare out at the grounds below.
Two rows of tall cypress trees flanked the perfectly manicured lawn that stretched down toward the sea. Beyond the half-wall, the sparkling blue of the water was clearly visible during the day when the sunlight glistened off its surface, and the rise and fall of the incessant sea was transfixing. During the night, the glossy black surface of the sea was a perfect reflection of the brilliant multitude of stars overhead. From this distance, it appeared to be an endless night.
As dark and wide as the insecurities that clutched my heart. “I’m afraid Alex made a mistake by choosing me.”
Behind me, Ethan was quiet for a moment. “Would you think that way if the marriage law didn’t exist?”
Surprised, I spun around to look at him. “You know about that?”
“Bennett told me.” He shrugged dismissively, then studied my face. “Are you afraid Alexander will regret giving up the throne for you?”
“Yes,” I admitted, my hands curling into fists. “Alex told me he won’t regret his decision to abdicate, but what if he changes his mind later on because I can’t be the princess he expected? I don’t want him to resent me for making him give up his birthright.” With the image of Emma’s perfect face flashing through my mind, I turned my back to Ethan and gripped the surrounding railing so tightly that my knuckles turned white. “Especially when he could have everything by choosing to marry someone else. Everyone in Coradova already thinks I’m the wrong choice for Prince Alexander.” I dropped my gaze and scuffed my foot across the patio. “It’s only a matter of time before he realizes it too.”
Ethan was quiet for a long moment before I heard the soft sounds of his approach. He leaned against the railing next to me. “You think he should marry Emma Rousseau instead of you.”
I grimaced and bit my lip. “I think ... he would be happier if he married Emma Rousseau. If he chose her, he could still be king.”
Ethan argued, “He could marry you and still be king—”
“But only if the marriage law is abolished,” I interrupted with an impatient wave of my hand. “And we don’t even know if that will happen.”
“So you’re ready to call it quits before you even know for sure?” Ethan demanded, narrowing his eyes at me. “The Maddy I know doesn’t give up.”
“I’m not giving up!”
“Then what are you doing? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell looks like you’re giving up.”
Flustered, I glowered at him with hands on my hips and temper flaring. Ethan returned my stare, his expression unruffled. His words echoed through my head. I blew out a breath of frustration, upset with myself because I didn’t know the answer to his question. What was happening to me? After weeks of trying to be the perfect princess, and failing entirely, I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore.
“Ethan,” I said, looking up at my friend with uncertainty swirling through me. “I don’t know what to do.”
His face softened with compassion. “If there was no marriage law, do you still think Emma would be the better choice?”
I paused and chewed on my lower lip as I searched my heart for the truth. Emma was the perfect choice for a prince, but I was the perfect choice for Alexander. If he could marry me and still be king, this self-doubt would never have been a concern. I was afraid only because I worried that Alexander might have to choose between two halves of his heart: his country, or me.
“No,” I said with a hint of my usual confidence. “Emma’s not the better choice.”
A smile spread across Ethan's face and he nodded with approval. “There’s the Maddy I know and love.” His comment embarrassed me, and for a moment we lapsed into awkward silence, our gazes averted.
I twitched at a sudden thought. “But what if the marriage law doesn’t get abolished? Won’t Alex be making a mistake if he chooses me over his country?”
“Trust me, Maddy. Marrying you would not be a mistake.” Sincerity burned briefly in the brown eyes that met mine, before Ethan softly cleared his throat and glanced away.
Blushing, I raised an eyebrow in question. “Shouldn’t you be trying to convince me to leave Alex and give you another chance?”
Ethan smiled ruefully and shrugged. “I could. But that would still never make you love me.” His eyes held m
ine, unabashed. I swallowed nervously, feeling slightly disconcerted by his honesty. “I’ve watched you two together this week and even I can’t deny how much you’re in love. I’ve never seen you happier, Maddy. Even if you are a terrible princess.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in a teasing smile. I appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood.
“When did you get so wise, old man?”
“I was born that way, chérie.” He grinned and shot me an exaggerated wink. “And I’m only four months older than you, Princess.”
With a laugh, I cautiously reached out to touch his arm, feeling thankful for his friendship. “Thank you, Ethan. For caring enough to still be my friend, and for being the voice of reason. I’m so grateful that you’re here.”
Ethan shrugged nonchalantly, his smile casual. “I’ll admit, it hasn’t been easy seeing you with Alexander. But I made the first move when I kissed you and I don’t blame you for rejecting me that night. Besides, we’ve been friends for a long time and I’m not willing to walk away from that.”
Beyond grateful to have my friend back, I grinned and acted on impulse to hug him. His arms came around me hesitantly, before he squeezed me tight. We stood that way for several moments, allowing the pain of the past to fade away. When I heard the gentle clearing of a throat behind us, I jumped away from Ethan as if I’d been burned. I looked up to find Alexander’s gaze fixed on me, and saw the jealousy he tried to hide before his mask settled in place.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the prince said unapologetically, his stance rigid. “Bennett is looking for you, Ethan.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.” Ethan nodded at Alexander, then shot a sympathetic glance at me. “Goodnight, Maddy.”
“Goodnight, Ethan,” I replied as he retreated into the palace.
After Ethan’s departure, Alexander stood watching me, a stiff set to his shoulders. The warm summer breeze ruffled his black hair, and the light from the interior sconces behind him cast his face into shadows, making it difficult for me to read his expression.
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