Heart of Mine

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Heart of Mine Page 20

by Lindsay Bergman


  Ugh! As if I needed another reason to dislike Emma Rousseau. I angrily threw the newspaper onto the kitchen counter and tried to banish the front cover image from my head. It was one of the pictures that the photographer had taken last night of me with Alexander and Emma. Only, I had been cropped out of it.

  Irritated, I grabbed a water bottle and left the kitchen. I met Gerard out on the terrace and gave him a brief smile in greeting. He held my gaze for a short moment; I knew he could read the annoyance on my face. He patted my shoulder companionably then turned to stretch his long legs before our run. Once again I was grateful for his silent comfort.

  Gerard was a man of little words—the strong and silent type—but his presence alone always seemed to offer a sense of comfort. He and Alexander had been close friends for the past five years. After spending so much time with him lately, I was beginning to understand why the prince so greatly valued his friendship.

  We set out on our run with Gerard at my side. I didn’t need his protection inside the palace, so Gerard joined me every morning merely because he enjoyed running. I was pleased to have the company, even if we didn’t speak. We ran four miles before returning to the terrace where I was surprised to find Alexander waiting for us. His business suit was a dark gray, unbuttoned and showing a clear view of his pale blue shirt and navy herringbone tie.

  He rose from his chair as we approached and searched my face with apprehensive blue eyes. Still feeling irritated by the article, I didn’t speak to him as I picked up my water bottle and took a long drink. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gerard fade from sight, giving us our privacy.

  I set down my water bottle and finally turned to face Alexander. “Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?”

  Alexander sighed softly at my tone. “I wanted to check on you. When I saw this morning’s newspaper I knew you’d be upset.”

  “Yes, I’m upset! Just when I thought that people were actually starting to approve of me, this happens,” I complained, crossing my arms defensively over my chest. “I already know Emma would make a better princess, but now I have to read about Coradova’s beloved sweethearts and how you and Emma make the perfect couple. I’m tired of trying to win everyone’s approval when I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough.”

  Alexander stepped forward and carefully drew me into his arms, but I stood stiffly at first, resisting him. He gently raised my face up until our eyes met, and spoke softly. “Dolcezza, you are more than enough for me.”

  He bent down to kiss me, and I melted into his warm embrace, needing the love and comfort that only he could give. Alexander kissed my forehead and held me close for several long moments.

  The sound of footsteps reached us. We turned to see Ashton striding toward us, dressed casually in a short-sleeved shirt and khaki pants, his familiar dimpled smile in place. He scanned my face. “I’m guessing that you’ve already seen the paper this morning?”

  I nodded and laid my head against Alexander’s chest, not in the mood to talk about it any longer.

  Ashton’s gaze filled with compassion. “Don’t let it get to you, Maddy. The gossip will blow over eventually, just like it always does.”

  “Thanks, Ash.” I reached out to grab his hand, linking the three of us together.

  We were connected by something stronger than blood. United by years of friendship that had blossomed into love, unconditional and everlasting, making us into a family. I saw Alexander exchange a glance with his brother and became aware of the strained undercurrent running between them, although it was subtle.

  Alexander’s gaze returned to me, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. He pressed a hard kiss to my forehead and sighed. “I’m sorry, dolcezza, but I should go. I’m supposed to be in a meeting right now. Parliament won't be very happy that I postponed it. Will you be all right?” He studied my face, reluctant to leave.

  “I’ll be fine, Alex,” I assured him. I touched his cheek and smiled. “Thank you for coming to check on me. I’m sorry that I snapped at you.”

  “It’s all right, cuore mio. You’re forgiven.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. He hugged me close and kissed me before letting go. “I’ll see you at dinner.” He inclined his head in farewell to his brother, then turned toward the palace.

  Linking my arm through Ashton’s, I grinned. “So, Ash. Are you busy or do you have time to take a walk with me?”

  “I’ve always got time for you.” He winked and led me down the pathway. We walked along for several silent moments, with the sun warm and bright overhead, and the peaceful sounds of birds chirping. I could feel the slight tension in his arm, and a sort of aloofness that was unusual for him.

  “What’s going on between you and Alex?” I asked after another moment of silence.

  “Picked up on that did you?” Ashton smiled wryly. “Well, Maddy, the truth is ... I don’t want to be king. If Alex abdicates then I’m next in line for the throne, and it’s a responsibility I’ve never wanted. Ever since we were kids, Alex has always had to work harder at everything; to be better at controlling his emotions, to be able to keep his distance, to separate himself from his heart for the common good of Coradova. He’s carried the weight of the crown on his shoulders since he was born. It’s a burden I have never envied.” He looked out across the distant sea.

  The early morning sunlight was warm at our backs, and the silhouette of gulls could be seen careening through the scattering of clouds in the sky. It would have been peaceful if not for the tension strung taut between us.

  Ashton sighed. “Sometimes I don’t think he even got to be a real kid. That’s why you could always convince him to follow along with one of your crazy schemes.” He glanced at me with a teasing glint in his eye.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was an angel.”

  Ashton laughed. “You were a trouble maker. But I think Alex needed some of that mischief in his life. It was a harmless way for him to rebel against the burden he was born to carry.” He drew to a stop next to the wall and turned to look at me. His eyes were filled with regret.

  “What’s wrong, Ash?”

  “You’re good for him, Maddy. You always have been. You see the man underneath the title and help him remember that there’s more to life than just obligation. When Alex is with you, I can see my brother as a person who is more than just a prince, without his crown or title weighing him down. I’m glad that he’s found someone who makes him happy, but I wish he didn’t have to give up the throne to marry you.”

  “He won’t have to if the marriage law is abolished.”

  Ashton’s brow lifted dubiously. “You know as well as I do that it’s not very likely at this point.”

  “But there’s still hope,” I insisted firmly.

  “Ah, Maddy, I love your optimism.” He tossed an arm around my shoulders and hugged me. “You know that I love you and want you both to be happy. I’m sorry for being selfish because I don’t like the cost that comes with it.”

  “Oh, Ash. I’m sorry for making you feel that way,” I murmured, hugging him tighter. I’d been so wrapped up in my own challenges with being engaged to the heir of Coradova that I hadn’t even thought about how this would affect Ashton.

  My face burned with shame. He was the one person who would be hurt the most by my desire to marry Alexander. Because I loved Ashton like a brother, my remorse was painfully acute. I felt the seed of doubt that lodged within my heart, a spot of darkness within the light of my love. Suddenly I was filled with fear, afraid that if I couldn’t contain it, that darkness would consume me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Disoriented, I bolted upright in bed and groped for my phone on the nightstand. The text message notification had been beeping at me for the last ten minutes, the sound of the chime intruding into my dreams. I rubbed a hand across my face and blinked, trying to focus on the screen. It was before five o’clock in the morning. When I finally managed to open my messages I was shocked to see that I had twenty
texts from a blocked number, all saying exactly the same thing:

  Naughty little Cinderella, we found the skeletons you’ve been hiding in your closet. What will the prince think when he finds out about your lovers in America? Pack your bags. You won’t be in the palace for much longer.

  “Are you kidding me?” I groaned, resisting the urge to throw my phone across the room.

  This was getting ridiculous. I was irritated with the person behind these hate notes, but I was also becoming afraid. I was being harassed and wondered about the lengths they might go to in order to get rid of me. Maybe it was time to tell Alexander.

  I jumped out of bed, stomped across the room to the dresser and began yanking on my running clothes. I needed to get some fresh air and burn off steam. Hopefully I’d be able to find some perspective while I was at it.

  Passing through the kitchen to grab a water bottle for my run, I jerked to a stop when I caught sight of the newspaper sitting on the kitchen counter. I quickly read through the article on the front page, my temper rising and bolts of fear jolting through me, then took it outside and left it on the table. I shot off along the pathway without even bothering to stretch first.

  It was still dark out, the path lit up periodically by the lanterns and outdoor lights surrounding the palace. I tried not to jump at the shadows as I pushed myself past my normal endurance, running faster than usual, trying to focus my thoughts on each breath instead of the emotional storm that raged within. The landscape passed me by in a blur. The cool morning air burned in my throat with each inhale, my breathing becoming labored. But still, I pushed myself to keep going even after my leg muscles started screaming in protest. By the time I circled back to the terrace forty-five minutes later, I could see the darkness of the sky barely lightening with the approach of dawn.

  I had pushed myself nearly to the breaking point in an effort to outrun my worries. Bent over with my hands on my knees, I sucked in painful gasps of air and I tried to get my heart rate back under control. My thoughts turned back to the newspaper article and I felt a twinge of fear spiral through me again. This was bad. Several minutes later, I dragged myself up to standing, grabbed the paper off the table and headed back into the palace. I knew it was barely past six o’clock in the morning, but I was desperate to speak with Alexander.

  Pausing in the hall outside his private quarters I took a deep breath before knocking on the door and prayed that he was already awake. It was a few moments later before I heard movement on the other side.

  When Alexander answered the door, he was disheveled but alert. His eyes widened with concern when he saw me. “Maddy, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

  My frazzled brain barely had time to register that he was shirtless before Alexander abruptly pulled me into the room.

  Averting my eyes from his bare chest, I stared resolutely up into his face and held out the newspaper. “Read this.”

  He took it and stared down at the article for a long time, his dark brows drawn together. The headline read: MADISON KAVANAUGH’S SLEW OF AMERICAN BOYFRIENDS. It was followed by several photos of me with different guys from Montana. While I was upset about the article’s accusations that I was cheating on the prince, I was mostly concerned with the photos themselves, and the dire implications behind them.

  Alexander looked back up with a troubled expression, his jaw tensed. “Someone took these photos by following you in America—but why? These were taken before we were even together.”

  His line of questioning unnerved me because it was so similar to my own.

  My thoughts immediately went to the hate notes I’d been receiving. “Do you think it was a stalker?”

  “No, not a stalker.” Alexander’s tone was dismissive as he tossed the paper down onto the coffee table. “It’s most likely paparazzi. They’ve known about your connection to our family for years and someone was probably hoping to get the first scoop on a secret love affair. I don’t think it’s anything you need to worry about, dolcezza.”

  He cupped my jaw and trailed his thumb softly along my cheek, his eyes lit with compassion. Drawn to him like a moth to flame I stepped closer, my arm accidentally brushing the bare skin of his stomach. His muscles tensed, and I couldn’t stop my gaze from traveling over the flat plains of his abdomen, firm chest and wide shoulders. When I looked back up at his face, I was filled with a deep appreciation.

  Alexander met and held my gaze, his compassion replaced with burning desire. Warmth curled through me. I was sorely tempted to throw myself into his arms, wanting to be lost in the ardor of his kisses.

  “Can you put on a shirt?” I asked abruptly. “There was something else I wanted to tell you, but you’re distracting me.”

  Alexander chuckled, his voice rough with sleep, or perhaps passion. “Sure. Just give me a minute.”

  He disappeared through the adjoining door to his bedroom. When he returned a moment later, a plain t-shirt was covering his golden torso and I sighed with relief. It was so much easier to keep my hands to myself when I wasn’t staring at my golden Adonis come to life. Taking my hand, he led me to the couch and pulled me down next to him, his eyes fixed on my face.

  “You know that I dated three of the guys in this article,” I began, “but the rest of these images are fake. Three of them were taken off my social media account and photoshopped by someone to make them look more intimate.” I shifted on the couch, pointing at one of the photos. “See this one? I took it of my friend Alicia with her boyfriend. It’s her body but my face.” I let the words hang between us, giving it time for my meaning to sink in.

  Alexander studied the picture and mumbled almost to himself, “Someone spent a lot of time on this. It’s meticulous.”

  “Alex, some of those photos weren’t on the internet either. They were taken directly off my phone.”

  His blue eyes flashed to my face, his expression suddenly tense. “You think someone stole the photos off your phone?” Before I could answer he stiffened, and a dangerous glint came into his eyes. “You asked me about a stalker. Do you think someone’s been following you here in Coradova?”

  “No, Alex. Don’t worry,” I said urgently. He was visibly getting worked up. I touched his cheek, trying to calm him. “I don’t know for sure if anyone’s been following me, but I’m safe here. Gerard is with me every time I leave the palace.”

  Alexander reached for me, his large hands gripping my arms in a fierce hold, and searched my face. I tried not to flinch as thoughts of the hate notes swirled through my head.

  “There’s more,” Alexander growled with conviction, recognizing the guilt on my face. “What haven’t you told me?”

  I paused for a single heartbeat. “I’ve been receiving notes.”

  “What kind of notes?”

  His eyes had narrowed into slits, and I forced the words past a suddenly dry throat. “Hate notes that are angry, jealous ... intimidating.”

  “Someone has been threatening you?” Alexander’s voice was very carefully controlled, but I could still see the anger blazing in his eyes and knew that he was a ticking time bomb.

  “No, they’re not threatening exactly—just taunting.”

  In a rush I explained what each note had said, and watched as his countenance continued to darken; particularly after I mentioned that the last two were sent to my cellphone. I swallowed nervously when his hands balled into fists. Alexander had reached his limit. His temper was ready to explode.

  In the blink of an eye, he jumped to his feet and towered over me in a white hot fury. “You’ve been receiving hate notes for weeks and haven’t told me?”

  Refusing to be intimidated, I rose from the couch and drew myself up to full height—which was not nearly as impressive as his tall and powerful six-foot-four frame. “I didn't want to upset you, Alex.”

  “So you lied to me instead?” Alexander shouted indignantly.

  “I didn’t lie. I just kept it to myself.” He opened his mouth to object but I hurried on. “They weren’t thr
eatening, only petty and hateful. I didn’t think it was anything you needed to worry about.”

  “You don’t think I should be concerned with your safety? There haven’t been any threats yet—but there could be! Your life could be in danger!”

  Alexander spun away from me with a curse and paced furiously across the room. He went off on a tirade in Italian intermingled with French. He shot angry glances at me as he paced, his expression livid. At one point, he stopped suddenly and spun around to glare fiercely at me.

  “You don’t understand how serious this is,” Alexander admonished, his eyes fixed on my face. “Coradova is a peaceful country and the Markhams have ruled without opposition for seven generations, but we still have enemies—and those enemies will use you to get to me.” He crossed the room and reached out to take my hands, his expression softening, anger diffusing. For a moment, he allowed me to see the fear he had kept buried. “Don’t you see, cuore mio, that by loving you I’ve put you in danger? There’s a target on your back now. You’re not as safe as you think.”

  I was silent for a moment, contemplating the meaning of his words. Someone could try using me to get to Alexander because I was his weakness, his fatal flaw. I hadn’t understood the severity of the situation, otherwise I would have told him about the hate notes right away. Guilt sliced through me because of my ignorance. “I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t know.”

  He pressed me close to his heart, his arms wrapping protectively around me. “I’m sorry too, dolcezza.” Alexander gently kissed the top of my head. “I should have made sure that you knew all the risks before you agreed to marry me.”

  I looked up into blue eyes filled with regret. “This doesn’t change my mind,” I told him firmly. “I still want to marry you.”

  “Are you sure?” He searched my face, looking uncertain.

 

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