“I guess ... I should give you back your ring,” I stammered, pulling my engagement ring off with numb fingers.
Alexander stopped me unexpectedly, one of his large hands covering mine. “No, Maddy.” I slowly looked up into his sorrowful blue eyes. “I gave this ring to the girl that I love, and I want you to keep it.” His warm hand slipped away from mine, leaving me bereft. Alexander swallowed forcibly and shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes fixed on my face.
Still feeling numb, I stared down at the beautiful antique ring in my hands, admiring the sparks of light that glinted off the diamonds. So delicate, and intricately made. A symbol of our love and commitment to each other. I swallowed down the bitterness of regret.
Our promise to each other was now broken.
“This is your grandmother’s ring.” Carefully, I set the engagement ring down onto the table next to us, feeling as if I were pulling my own heart out of my chest in the process. “This ring belongs to the girl that you’ll marry someday.”
Alexander stared down at the ring for a long moment before looking back up at me. Our eyes met and locked. Painful emotion raged between us like a tempestuous ocean, thick with regret.
“You’re wrong, you know,” Alexander murmured. “Losing you is the greatest sacrifice I will ever make for my country.”
His love for me burned in his eyes before his mask settled into place. All emotion was wiped away from his handsome face. Another tear escaped down my cheek and I started to back away, unable to stand being in the same room any longer without giving in to the desperate temptation to fall back into his arms.
“I’ll head straight to the airport.” I reached for the door knob, but his voice stopped me.
“Wait, Maddy. You can’t leave yet,” Alexander commanded. “Not until we find the person behind these threats.”
“But that’s not necessary. Once word spreads that we’re not engaged anymore—” I forced the words out past the lump in my throat, “—I’m sure the threats will stop and my leaving won’t be a problem.”
Alexander leveled a steady look at me, his expression brooking no argument. “Breaking off our engagement doesn’t change how I feel about you. You will remain in the palace until this person is found. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
His eyes held mine until I nodded reluctantly. Then he grabbed the engagement ring off the table and abruptly strode past me, pausing in the open doorway to look back. For a moment, his mask vanished. His blue eyes were sharp with remorse, his pain as acute as mine. “I will always love you, dolcezza.”
Alexander disappeared, and I dropped down to my knees with a shuddering gasp. Painful sobs escaped unbidden as misery crashed over me in waves. Not only was my heart broken beyond repair, but my soul felt irrevocably severed. I had let—no, forced—the one person that I loved the most to walk away from me. I knew with undeniable certainty that I would never be whole again.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
We didn’t cross paths for days. Too upset to face anyone, I’d started eating my meals alone in my room in an attempt to avoid them all, only venturing out at night once everyone had gone to sleep. I wandered aimlessly through the dark hallways, trailed constantly by my silent guards. After four days, I finally allowed an impatient Arianna into my room.
She stomped across the hardwood and whirled around on her heel to glare at me. Her expression faltered as she looked into my face. I hadn’t seen a mirror in days and was certain that I looked as horrible as I felt. Arianna’s eyes softened and she reached out to grab my hand. “Oh, Maddy. Are you sure you’ve made the right choice?”
“Yes.” I turned away abruptly, not wanting to hear her argument. I rubbed my fists over my eyes, wishing desperately that I could just go home.
But Alexander had refused to let me leave the palace because they still hadn’t found anything to tie Simon directly to the hate notes. I wasn’t even certain if the prince had heeded my suspicions about Emma. I snorted in irritation, feeling doubtful. My anger and frustration rose within me. I was stuck here in this beautiful palace with the ghost of his memory haunting me, cruelly reminding me of all the happy moments I would no longer get to share with the man that I loved.
“Why does he even care what happens to me?” I grumbled, slapping a hand against the top of the couch. “We all know he’s going to marry Emma and live happily-ever-after.”
“Oh, Maddy,” Arianna sighed, stepping closer to wrap her arms around me in a compassionate hug. I tried to push her away, but as the warmth of her love and friendship slipped past the defensive barrier I’d been holding up, I felt myself falling. Landing hard on my knees, the pain in my chest erupted like a geyser. The tears spilled relentlessly down my face as I clung to my best friend, her hand stroking my hair soothingly.
When there were finally no more tears to shed Arianna helped me over to the couch, then grabbed a box of tissues from the side table. I wiped my face as best I could and slumped back into the couch, feeling numb and desolate.
“We need to get you out of this room,” Arianna suggested with an air of command. “The fresh air will be good for you. Come on, let’s go riding.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me up to my feet, her expression stern. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Less than an hour later, I followed Arianna down the third floor hallway, wishing desperately that I were invisible. We passed several members of the palace staff, as well as visiting politicians, on our way down to the first floor. Although I tried to ignore them, I couldn’t help but notice the mixture of sympathetic and hateful glances that were thrown my way. I stepped closer to Gerard, grateful for his constant protection, as well as the rest of my faithful guard.
We were nearly to the terrace when Arianna drew to a sudden stop. I tripped over my own feet trying to avoid running into her. A large, warm hand gripped my arm, helping to steady me before I could fall.
My heart froze in my chest when I looked up into the striking blue eyes of my prince. “Alex,” I stammered breathlessly.
“Maddy.” Alexander sounded just as breathless. His eyes eagerly explored my face.
I caught myself leaning into him, my longing to touch him overwhelming. Alarmed, I took an abrupt step back in an effort to not throw myself into his arms. His hand reluctantly let go as I moved away.
Our eyes held for a long moment, everyone around us seeming to disappear. My anguished heart beat thickly, each pulse throbbing agonizingly within my chest as my eyes took in the sight of him. Alexander stood tall and proud in a light beige business suit, looking as perfect as always. His gaze dropped briefly to my mouth. The heat in his eyes caused my stomach to flutter with a deep and desperate yearning. The pull between us was strong. It was as if every fiber of my being longed for him, my heart and soul crying out.
Someone loudly cleared their throat, breaking our connection.
Alexander glanced at the men surrounding us; five politicians that I recognized as members of the Executive Council. “Please excuse us, messieurs.” His gaze lingered on me as the other members of his group bowed and resumed their exit down the hallway.
“We’re heading out to the stables for some fresh air,” Arianna told her brother, linking an arm through mine and leading me carefully around the prince.
Our arms brushed, the touch as light as a feather, though it felt like a bolt of lightning shooting through me. Alexander must have felt it too because he seemed to freeze in place. His blue eyes locked onto my face, his hot look as intimate as a caress. I forced myself to breathe as I stared back at him.
“Enjoy your ride, bellissima,” Alexander said warmly.
I blushed, wondering how he could possibly think I was beautiful when I looked like an absolute train wreck. “Thank you, Alex.”
Alexander nodded, the barest hint of a smile on his lips, before he turned and followed the politicians back down the hallway. I watched him until he disappeared from view, my heart thumping longingly, then let Arianna pull
me outside onto the terrace.
We had barely reached the barn ten minutes later when I realized I’d forgotten my phone in my room. I was grateful that Arianna didn’t object as I turned back toward the palace to fetch it. She rolled her eyes at me, knowing my ridiculous attachment to it, and wandered down to the horses accompanied by several grooms.
The slow trek up the hill to the palace took longer than I would have liked. By the time I finally reached my room, thirty minutes had been wasted. Debating whether I should even bother going back down to the stables, I threw open the door to my guest room without waiting for my guard to check the room first. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the black shadow moving near my bed.
A split second later, Gerard burst into the room and stepped in front of me in one fluid motion. Two other guards rushed in after him. I watched in horror as three guns simultaneously pointed directly at the intruder in my room.
Next to my bed, Charlotte straightened abruptly, one hand going to her chest and her face paling with fear.
“No, wait—,” I shouted, trying to step around Gerard when I saw the small piece of paper that fell from Charlotte’s other hand. As if in slow motion, I watched the note drift down in a spiral to land on the hardwood near Charlotte’s feet. No, it must be a mistake, I thought in denial.
Our gazes met. The feeling of incredulity gave way to outrage when I saw the guilt flashing in her emerald green eyes. Suddenly the elusive puzzle pieces clicked together. Her striking emerald green eyes were exactly the same as Simon Mercier’s. That was the connection that had been bothering me for days. I should have realized it sooner. They were related—siblings, maybe—and together they had plotted against us for weeks. While Simon had been whispering in the ears of politicians, Charlotte had been slipping me hate notes.
“It was you,” I accused. “But, why?”
Charlotte’s face crumpled, regret flickering across her eyes as a tremble ran through her. “Je suis désolé.”
I could hear a voice buzzing in Gerard’s earpiece, and his quickly spoken reply. “La Liberté est sûre.”
Liberty is safe.
He continued to speak to the person on the other end of his earpiece, but I tuned him out and glared angrily at my personal maid. I was upset by the treachery of both Charlotte and Simon—who’s kindness had turned out to be nothing but a deception.
“I don’t want your apologies,” I growled. “I want answers.”
“Je suis désolé,” Charlotte said again, taking a step back.
My anger rose fiercely within me, spurred on by their betrayal and weeks of harassment. Impulsively, I shot out from behind Gerard and stormed across the room toward Charlotte. I heard my name shouted by multiple voices, but only one registered; the alarm in his voice drew me to an abrupt halt.
In the blink of an eye I was once again safe behind a protective wall of royal guards. Spinning around on my heel, I looked up into Alexander’s angry blue eyes as he stalked toward me.
When he was close enough, he yanked me into his arms. His large hands framed my face as he stared down at me. Our eyes met for one breathless second before he kissed me fiercely. My heart leaped in my chest, the yearning for him overwhelming. I hadn’t seen him in days, let alone touched him, and now I was held tightly in his arms with his demanding mouth hard on mine, and no other thought existing except for my desire to have even more of him.
“What were you thinking?” he demanded between kisses, drawing back far enough to glare down at me. “You can’t disobey your guard like that.”
“She wouldn’t have hurt me.” I ran my hands up his chest, loving the feel of the hard muscles beneath his shirt. Despite the severity of our situation, I was very much distracted by the closeness of my prince.
“You don’t know that,” Alexander argued.
“She’s been alone with me several times, Alexander.” I tipped my face back to look up at him. “If she wanted to hurt me, she would have done it by now. She was the one sending me the hate notes.”
“I know.” Alexander’s expression was grave. “After I ran into you downstairs, I was in my office looking through Simon’s file again when I noticed his sister works in the palace as a maid.”
“Charlotte,” I murmured quietly, still feeling disbelief.
Suddenly, I was once again crushed in the prince’s strong arms, as if he couldn’t hold me close enough. “You scared me half to death,” Alexander muttered. “I had just found Simon’s connection to Charlotte when Pierre told me that your guard had found an intruder in your room—and you weren’t out riding with Arianna like you were supposed to be. Instead I found out that you were right in the center of danger.”
“Liberty is safe,” I repeated of Gerard’s earlier words. “That’s a code for me, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” I could feel him smile. “Liberty—freedom from the control of fate.” He sighed, and I knew that he was thinking about the irony of it.
While I had the freedom to make my own choices, Alexander was bound by fate to follow the choices pre-destined for him since birth. And because of that fate, we couldn’t be together. I pressed my face into his chest, savoring the feel of his arms wrapped tightly around me. Alexander hugged me close and kissed the top of my head, holding me as we watched the royal guards escort Charlotte from the room.
Gerard handed Alexander the note that Charlotte had dropped on the floor; the undeniable proof of her crime. We exchanged a glance, then read it together.
Cinderella, how does it feel to watch all of your dreams shatter into pieces around you? Prince Alexander took back his ring and now you’re going to spend your life mucking out stables and sleeping in the dirt where you belong. Enjoy your happily- NEVER-after .
Three hours later, after Simon had been brought in for questioning and our meeting with the Royal Family was over, Alexander and I stood alone in the king’s study. King Mathis and Alexander believed that Simon had used Charlotte’s position in the palace to send me the hate notes, hoping to scare me into breaking off our engagement and thereby preventing Alexander from abdicating. While I understood their reasoning, I still questioned Charlotte’s motive for going along with her brother’s plans. What did she have to gain by removing me?
The hate notes seemed so angry and driven by jealousy. I was surprised that my nagging suspicions about a bitter noblewoman had been so far off base. But Charlotte had been caught red-handed. Swallowing my pride, I had also apologized to Alexander for suspecting Emma. He’d dismissed it with the wave of his hand and insisted that he could understand why I’d felt that way.
Now that the excitement of the capture had calmed down, reality was finally setting in. I twisted my fingers together in agitation. With Simon and Charlotte behind bars until their trial, my life was no longer in danger ... which meant that my imminent departure was looming over us. I looked at Alexander as he drew closer, my heart aching at the thought of leaving him. Grimacing, I reached for him, eager to be held close in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” Alexander murmured.
“Well ... since we’ve found the people behind the hate notes and I’m safe again ...” My words trailed off. Alexander knew exactly what I was trying to say, and his body tensed.
“... now you can leave,” Alexander finished. He gently gripped my chin and lifted my face until our eyes met. He looked down at me intently for several heartbeats before pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was both sweet and ardent, though I could still sense the desperation in his touch. We clung together as if our embrace alone could prevent the inevitable.
But the world continued to move forward, with the minutes of our remaining time together ticking away far too quickly. Alexander walked me to my guest room and hovered in the doorway, reluctant to leave me.
I whirled around and clutched almost desperately at his white shirt. “Please don’t leave, Alex,” I begged, unable to bear it. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
The prince needed no further convincing. He nodded
and captured my lips, then backed me slowly into the room as he closed the door behind us. His mouth was hot and demanding on mine, his hands burning against my skin everywhere they touched. I melted into him as all coherent thought flew from my head.
Without breaking the kiss, Alexander scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bed. He gently set me down in the center of the golden bedspread and stood looking down at me for a long moment, desire burning in his blue eyes. He slid carefully onto the bed and drew me into his arms. I snuggled against his chest, wondering briefly if Alexander was willing to break another one of our promises to each other; the promise to hold off on intimacy until marriage. I held my breath, waiting to see how far he was willing to go.
Cradling me close in his arms, Alexander tenderly kissed my forehead. “Try to sleep, dolcezza.”
I sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and remorse.
Alexander was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of our complicated situation, and for that, I was grateful. Whenever it happened, I wanted my first time to be with my husband in a moment born of love and unity—not desperation. As I snuggled into my prince, I tried to ignore the twinge of bitterness that told me I would never love anyone else enough to marry him.
It was a long time before I drifted off to sleep. My dreams were restless, depicting what I was certain would be my future. Dark and bleak, without the love of the prince who would forever hold my heart.
It had been over a year since I’d last climbed the marble steps leading up to the pristine, white palace at the top of the hill overlooking town and sea. I could feel the warm summer breeze on my face and recognized the familiar salty smell of the sea. When I reached the top, the large and ornate double doors opened wide, inviting me inside. Heart pounding anxiously, I strolled through the long hallways, searching for the princess. I finally found her out on the terrace holding a small little bundle in her arms.
She turned a beaming smile on me. “Maddy.”
Heart of Mine Page 24