“No!” Nick argued. “I won’t drop it. What did you say to Noelle?” I kept walking, going deeper into the woods. Kicking leaves and branches out of my way. There weren’t any animals, from what I heard, except there was an occasional rustle from bushes we were passing. He kept following me. “Answer me, Kyle!”
I whipped around and faced Nick. He was fuming. His face was red, and the vein in his neck was turning purple. His eyes stared back, trying to threaten me. He knew that he would never beat me in a fight. My anger always got the best of me, taking total control of my body so he would never try it.
But the look in his eyes screamed that he wanted to. He wanted to hit me.
“I just told her that I would never argue with her like you guys do,” I admitted. His face dropped, and he stood there. “That’s all! She was upset with you guys fighting, and she came to talk to me.” He edged closer to me, listening intently. I tried to back up, but my back hit the trunk of a tree. I moved a little to the side, getting ready to flee if something happened.
I sighed. “She was crying, and I felt bad, and I was just trying to make her feel better.”
Before I knew it, his fist came swinging at me. I quickly ducked to get out of his way. I heard his knuckle smash against the bark. I caught his shoulder and looked into his eyes. Anger boiled in him. I could tell that he came here for blood. I knew I would lose control, and I didn’t want to hit Nick. I pushed him back and yelled, “Hey, man, get away from me!”
I hadn’t realized a tear escaped my eye. I wiped it away, pushing against my black eye again. I quietly winced at the pain, but not loud enough for my dad to notice. I held the tear droplet on my pointer finger. It ran alongside it before dropping to my pants.
“How’s Nick?” he asked. It was a simple question with a basic answer. I could’ve lied. I could’ve just said that everything was fine, and Nick was good. Hearing his name out loud after what I had done. It broke me. Guilt and anger fueled me. I had no right to be mad, but I was. Flashes of his lifeless body entered my mind, and I just had it.
“I don’t want to talk to you!”
Dad’s smile dropped, and I felt the energy shift. I knew I messed up, but my dad wasn’t going to do anything. He knew about my anger problems. He was proud of me for them. The number of times he had taken me out of school for getting in a fight then bringing me to get ice cream afterward proved that. He once said he was proud of me for it.
He kept his eyes on the road. I just stared at my shoes. They were the same shoes I wore the night before when I was with Nick. Dirt was covering the sides of them. I knew that the dried blood was stuck to the bottom. After a few moments of silence, we pulled into our driveway.
“Dad, I’m sorry. I’m tired, and my eye started to really hurt,” I explained. It wasn’t a complete lie. I was very tired, and my eye did hurt.
“I understand,” he told me, patting my back. “Go get some sleep.”
I opened the car door and shut it when I got out. Dad waved at me before pulling out of the driveway. I watched as he drove down the street and back to the main roads. I turned around and noticed that Henry’s car was there.
Crap.
I stepped into my house to hear loud music blasting from downstairs. I shut the door to muffle it, but it only worked a bit. The song was still screeching in my ears. My phone immediately started ringing. I saw that Mom was calling, so I picked it up.
“Hello?” I answered. I plopped down on a dining room chair. I put the phone on speaker so I could rest my head in my hands. It was too heavy for me to hold it up on its own.
“Hi, sweetie!” Mom piped through the phone. “Are you okay? Your dad told me what happened.”
I thought about telling the truth. The whole truth. Everything that happened and just come clean. If anyone knew what to do, it would be her. She would be able to make everything okay.
But what if she doesn’t believe me?
What if she sees me as a monster?
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. “Do you still have to work tonight?”
There was silence on the other line. I heard nothing; I thought it disconnected. I heard the music slowly die down from the basement, and footsteps traveled up the stairs. I took the phone off the speaker and placed it by my ear.
“No, I’ll be home tonight. Go take a nap.” I told her okay and goodbye before hanging up. Henry appeared at the top of the stairs and smirked at me. He leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms.
“What are you doing home?” Henry poked. I rubbed my eyes, keeping them closed as long as I possibly could. I didn’t want to get into anything with him. We would scream at each other for hours at a time about nothing, but only because we were both too stubborn to give up. I didn’t feel like screaming. All I wanted was to fall asleep and never wake up. I looked over at Henry and knew he wanted something from me. Just like Mark. They wanted a reaction. They wanted to see me mad.
“Nothing,” I answered.
Don’t push it, Henry.
“Where’d you get that black eye? Nick finally punched you?”
I felt dizzy. It was sort of a blur. Henry’s stupid grin was the only thing I could see clearly, and it set me off. I threw my phone across the room and heard it shatter against the wall. Henry’s face dropped, and he looked over at my broken phone. It was in pieces on the floor, but I didn’t care.
“Shut the hell up, Henry!” I exploded. There was no other way to describe it. I saw red. I saw the moment I just snapped his neck. His head would look like a broken action figure. Just hanging on by one simple bone. I wanted to wrap my hands so badly around his throat and do just that. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, so shut up!”
“Kyle, I—”
“No! No!” I raged. “You don’t get to talk. Not any more! All I’ve let you do was talk for years. I get it, okay? I get that you hate me, and you blame me for everything that has happened to this family, but I’m done! I’m done listening to you!” I stormed up to Henry and got in his face like Mark did mine. He stumbled back a bit but stood his ground. Planted his feet and stuck out his chest. I poked it with my finger. His eyes narrowed down on me, clenching his jaw.
Here’s where it starts.
“Stop hating me for things I can’t control. Get over yourself. You’re nineteen years old, living in your parents’ basement, working at a hardware store. You aren’t better than me. I still have a chance at not screwing up my future!”
It was harsh, I know. Henry watched my eyes. I think he was searching for something, an emotion other than rage and anger. Anything else to show what I was really feeling. But there was no other emotion. Hatred was coursing through my body. I wanted to smack him in the head.
I was waiting for his response. For him to call me names and to yell back. Henry wouldn’t stand down. In all my sixteen years of living, he had never once let me win an argument. He would push and push until I gave up. I scanned his eyes, not finding any emotion within him.
He waited a few more seconds before turning around and going back downstairs. I backed up out of instinct. I thought he was just trying to trick me. That he was going to come running up those stairs and at me. The music started back up again, making me jump. I didn’t believe him. I didn’t think that it was going to be the end of the argument. I stood there, ready for a fight for ten minutes.
He’s not coming back.
I caught my breath. A million thoughts were running through my mind per second. I couldn’t figure out why he decided now was the best time to stop arguing with me. Every fight ended with me leaving and him smirking. That was the way it worked. Why was it any different then?
Does he know?
I made my way to my couch, groaning loudly. My eye was throbbing, and it felt like someone shoved sand down my throat. I lay down, my back cracking as I fell to the soft cushions. My eyelids were as heavy as bricks. I closed them to see nothing. I slowly drifted off to sleep, praying that I wouldn’t have to deal with nightmares.
The one from the night before replayed in my mind, making me wonder what it meant.
Nick killed me in my dreams.
But I killed him.
I gulped, moving over to my side. I prayed for one more thing. I begged for it. I wished upon a star. I did everything I could have.
I asked that I wouldn’t wake up at all.
3
Thirteen Hours
When I woke up, I knew it was coming. I knew people were going to notice, and soon they were going to ask me about it. I knew how I was supposed to act and behave, but I didn’t know if I could pull it off.
A noise rang out, startling me, even though I knew it was coming. I walked toward the ringing, my footsteps sounding loud through the empty house. The sun was shining brightly through the window and highlighted the dust on the floor. I stared outside into the swaying trees that circled my royal-blue-colored house. My hand skimmed against the cold telephone hanging on the wall. The ringing continued to echo through the house.
“Hello?” My voice cracked ever so slightly. Not a lot for it to seem like I was scared, but just enough for someone on the other line to hear it. I heard a deep breath come from the other line. Before the person spoke, I knew who they were looking for.
“Hello, is Kyle home?” the male voice asked. It was deep, so it wasn’t a teenager. I figured he was at least thirty, maybe forty. There was a bit of a grumble in his voice to show he did not want to do what he was about to do.
“Speaking,” I replied, trying to stay as quiet as I could during this phone call.
Don’t give up any information; that’s what Dad always says.
“Ah, good. Now, I’m Mr. Harris,” he informed me. “I work with the Crime Investigation Program as a detective. We train students who want to be working in criminal law as an occupation. But that’s not why I’m calling you today, Kyle.”
“Alright.” I knew they weren’t calling me about that. Why would they? I had no interest in joining their stupid program.
“I’m calling about Nick Walter.”
I nodded as if he could see me. Realizing my mistake, I spoke. “Okay.”
“Now, Kyle, do you know Nick Walter?” His grumpy voice spoke into my ear as if he were right next to me. I could feel his breathing on my shoulder, causing me to shudder. I had to pull the phone away to get the feeling to subside.
I took a deep breath before speaking. “Yes.”
“Kyle, Nick Walter is missing.”
Missing?
I dropped the phone in my hands, causing an intense sound. I could hear Mr. Harris on the other side asking about me. There were no thoughts in my head; there was nothing. All I kept thinking was the word. That word hung over me, taunting my mistakes. I carefully picked the phone up and spoke. “I’m sorry; I just dropped the phone. How could he be missing?”
“I understand, Kyle. I heard you two are really good friends. His mom called us two nights ago, but we couldn’t do anything about a missing person report within twenty-four hours in hopes he would show up today. You didn’t happen to see him, did you?”
“No-o,” I stuttered. We weren’t far into the woods when it happened; they should’ve found him.
Unless they aren’t looking for a body.
They are looking for a boy on the run.
“Yeah, we figured. I don’t want you to get concerned or upset about it. We will find him, and we will bring him home.” Mr. Harris tried to assure me.
“Mr. Harris,” I whispered. “What if he’s dead?”
There was silence. I heard nothing from the other line. I kept the phone to my ear; the sound of cars passing my house was the only thing I heard. A small breeze swept in from the kitchen window and blew against my face.
“Let’s not think that way, Kyle.” he finally responded. “Now, if you can try to remember when was the last time—”
“Mr. Harris—” I cut him off, not wanting to hear about Nick any more. “—can you call back another time? I really need time to think right now.”
“Of course,” he said. “I am so sorry.”
I answered him with a small, “It’s okay” before slamming the phone back on the wall, causing the remaining dust to float up into the air. My head was pounding; it was like my thoughts were trying to break free.
But I wouldn't let them.
I let the conversation sink into my brain while I sat down. I stared at my TV screen, remembering the words that Mr. Harris just told me. Nick was missing. Not dead.
But you know he is dead.
Isn’t he?
I painfully remembered the night, retracing the images through my mind. Seeing if there was any way Nick could have survived. What if he wasn’t the one bleeding? What if he fell onto an animal and crushed it?
That’s stupid.
What if once I left, he got up and ran to get help?
You would’ve heard him.
I decided to distract myself by turning on the TV. I switched the channels for a bit till I found something I liked. After a few moments of watching it, there was a break, and a screen title came up with big letters that said Breaking News!
I rolled my eyes and turn the channel, but every single one had the same thing. I threw the remote down in frustration and stood up. I ran my fingers through my hair, unknotting it. I looked back to the screen and waited patiently for the news. A news anchor girl popped up with a microphone in the middle of her office.
“Nick Walter, age sixteen, a student at Concord High School, was reported missing two nights ago. His mother is very worried about him. He was last seen with a teenage girl who we cannot name at this time, but she is being questioned as we speak.”
I clenched my jaw. He was with Noelle before me? Is that why Noelle wanted to talk to me today because Nick told her something? I grabbed the remote off the coffee table and chucked it as hard as I could at the TV. The sound of it hitting the screen was music to my ears. I stared at the big hole in the middle of the TV.
I have great aim.
I then remembered Noelle. What could Nick have told her? I clenched my fists and felt the wounds reopen on my palm. The blood dripped down my hands and onto the floor. I looked at my cuts and noticed how they were defined around the edges. I tried picking at them, but it just made the bleeding worse.
Flashbacks of Nick’s body when I left came rushing back to me. I groaned at the sudden pain of my head aching. My heart was pounding, and my hands were clammy. My stomach was doing backflips while my brain tried to keep up with it. My vision started to blur while I made careful steps toward the bathroom. The floor creaking with each step I took. Saliva filled my mouth before my throat started to burn up. I raced toward the toilet, almost tripping on my brother’s bag on the ground. I lifted the lid before my lunch came back up from my stomach and fell into the toilet. I groaned before I heard the door opening, and the sound of my mother’s soft voice filled the air.
“Kyle, where are you?” The door shut while I heard Mom place her bags down. “Your father is going to be a bit late. He said his assistant messed something up with a case.”
I tried to speak out to her but just ended up throwing up instead. Mom heard my retching, and her heels rapidly clicked throughout the house before she reached the bathroom door.
“Oh, Kyle, I didn’t know you were this sick.” She bent down and rubbed my back. I felt guilty for her being this concerned about me. If only she knew what I did, she wouldn’t be helping me.
I threw up a third time before my stomach finally settled. I turned to look at Mom, and she grabbed a cloth to clean up my face. I pushed her hand away while grabbing the cloth to clean it myself. She smiled before speaking. “I’ll call your father and ask him to get some medicine. Do you know if it was something you ate?”
I shook my head and she frowned. I could tell she wanted to know what was wrong. Mom liked to be in control of everything. She wanted to know everything. I heard stomping from the basement, and Henry appeared in front of the bathroom door.
> “Woah, what happened to him?” He snorted. Mom gave him a look, and he threw his hands up in the air before turning away. “Just asking.”
“Wait, Henry. I need to talk to you,” Mom announced before standing up. She patted my back one more time before turning on her heels to leave. I watched as she left the bathroom. My head still felt a bit heavy, but I stood up anyway. My vision got better, but my hands were still shaking, and my stomach still felt like it was flipping upside down. I heard my mother whispering as she was talking to Henry. Her voice was so low that I could barely make out what she was saying.
“No, I don’t think he knows,” she whispered.
Knows what?
“Well, he is going to find out. You can’t keep it from him forever,” Henry argued back. I heard him walking away. He walked past me sitting on the bathroom floor. He stopped for a moment to stare at me with his empty eyes before walking downstairs.
They were talking about Nick.
~
Dad came home around nine that night. He brought medicine with him that tasted like moldy grapes. He tried to joke about the fight to distract me, but it didn’t work.
“Hey, we should see the other guy, right?” He laughed, pushing at my arm. I just looked at him and waited for the laughter to stop. He slowly calmed down, seeing my expression not change.
“Kyle?” Mom called from the living room. Dad and I were sitting at the dining table when she came walking in. “What happened to your phone?” She held up my shattered phone.
The screen was hanging off by a wire. Henry walked into the room and grinned while staring at the ground, knowing what happened.
“I dropped it.”
Henry’s head snapped up to mine, and I just shrugged. Mom looked at the two of us before nodding her head. “Well, I guess I’ll have to get you a new one.” Henry groaned out loud, causing everyone to look at him. He refused to say anything, though. He grabbed a drink from the fridge and went back downstairs.
Believing Lies Page 3