“Should we go get them?” Alex asked.
“Nah.” Jade turned back around and asked Monette for a beer.
Soon Zach, Jessica, Jackson, and Riley arrived to show their support.
Zach pulled Jade aside. “I got your text. Where are they?”
Jade pointed to the sea of humanity slow jamming on the dance floor. She had texted him pictures from the book signing, showing both gals in all their drag king glory.
Zach spotted his sister and his face paled. “Oh God. Should we do something?”
“They look like they’re having fun,” Riley said.
Finally, Sam managed to extract herself from her clinging dance partner and headed over to Alex.
Alex’s eyes traveled over Sam’s body. “Hi, honey, nice outfit.”
“I expected you to rescue me.”
“I was having too much fun watching your ass in those jeans. Kinda tight, aren’t they?” Sam playfully shoved her. “Monette, may I have a water please?” She stared at Alex, desire clear in her eyes.
Alex stared back and cracked up again.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You, babe. Sorry.”
“I look good, don’t I?”
“You look…manly. But you need to work on your walk.”
“What’s the matter with my walk?”
Alex whispered into Sam’s ear, “You sway those sexy hips of yours too much.” She pulled back and winked.
“Wanna make out?”
“Not with that caterpillar on your lip.”
“Um, what’s Emma doing?” Zach asked.
Jade glanced over. “Ah, swapping spit with a chick.”
They all turned and stared at the show.
“We should do something, right?” Zach asked.
“Wow, they’re really getting into it,” Riley observed.
When they pulled apart, the wet spot had been transferred to the front of the other woman’s white pants.
Alex’s brows shot up. “Whoa, what happened there?”
“Did Emma just come on that girl’s pants?” Riley asked.
Sam jumped in. “No. Big Daddy fell into the toilet, and we stuck him back into her jeans. It was soaked.”
Zach’s forehead furrowed. “Big Daddy? Who’s Big Daddy?”
“E stuffed a huge fake woody down her pants to make herself look well-endowed,” Jade explained. “And I guess somehow she managed to lose it in the toilet. I don’t even wanna know.” She took a swig of beer.
Zach’s expression screamed for an intervention.
“Don’t look at me. She’s your sister.”
“Go help her,” he begged.
“Help her do what?”
Zach continued to stare at Jade.
“Jesus Christ, I don’t know what you expect me to do,” Jade grumbled as she walked away. When she reached the happy couple, she yanked on Emma’s arm to get her attention. After a heated discussion, they left the dance floor.
When they got back to the bar, Emma flagged down Monette and asked for another beer.
Riley sidled next to her. “Why were you kissing her?”
“Research. For my next role.”
Riley nodded.
Emma’s goatee teetered from her chin, having come unglued from the kissing.
Riley waved a finger. “Ah, E, you gotta costume malfunction going on.”
“What?”
“You’re losing your facial hair, Andre the Giant dong,” Jade said.
Emma touched the goatee. “Shit. Sam, do you have the glue?”
“Yeah.”
“We can go back to the bathroom,” Emma said.
“Oh no. I’m not going back there.”
Alex came to the rescue. “Monette, can they use your office for a sec?”
Monette nodded and tossed the keys to Emma, and off they went for repairs.
* * *
When they came back, Sam searched for Alex but couldn’t find her.
“Where’s Alex?” she asked.
“Over there.” Riley pointed across the room.
Alex was talking to an attractive woman.
“Who the hell is that?” Sam growled.
“Michelle,” Jade said.
“She knows Alex is taken, right?”
“Don’t get your boxers in a bunch, she knows.”
Michelle held onto Alex’s arm—her bicep, to be exact. Sam’s bicep. Sam had never been the jealous type and was taken aback at her own reaction.
“Sami, you have a dollop of steam coming from your ears.”
“I don’t like how she’s touching her.”
“Since when are you jealous?”
“Since I have a super-hot girlfriend, that’s when.”
“Fair enough. Where’s E?” Jade craned her neck in search of Emma and her appendage.
“Over by the DJ,” Riley said.
Emma had a blonde on either side and was chatting them up.
Jade groaned. “Oh shit.”
“What?” Sam asked.
“That’s two-thirds of Alex’s three-way.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“What do you think they want with E?”
“I imagine they want a three-way with Big Daddy,” Jade said matter-of-factly.
“Damn. That thing is trouble.” Sam tipped her beer back. “You know, I’m kinda bumming.”
“Why you bumming?”
“No one wants to get in my pants.”
“I wanna get in your pants. I mean, literally. My feet are cold, and I don’t have socks on.”
A woman in red bought Jade a drink, and Jade began conversing with her.
Sam lost sight of Alex and then found her surrounded by a group of women. She gnashed her teeth in frustration. All these women hitting on her girlfriend, and she was powerless to stop them. She had half a mind to go over to Alex and plant one on those luscious lips, but instead she pouted.
Finally, Alex appeared by her side. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
A dejected Sam toed the ground. “You have these women falling all over you, and I can’t do anything about it.”
“You still have those keys?”
Sam dangled them. “Yeah.”
Alex took her hand and led her to Monette’s office. They slipped in, locking the door behind them.
“Hey.” Alex cupped Sam’s face. “I love you. I don’t even notice those other women. You’re the only thing that matters to me. Okay?”
Sam gave a slight nod, still thrown by the whole jealousy thing.
Alex kissed her.
Sam pulled her closer, wanting and needing a whole lot more than a kiss.
* * *
Meanwhile, back at the bar, Calynn had finally arrived.
“Babe, you are a sight for sore eyes,” Jade said.
“Why?”
“Don’t ask.”
Emma strutted over and slammed down a fistful of small paper slips. “Check this shit out.”
Calynn’s eyes zeroed in on Emma’s zipper. “What the hell is that?”
Jade snorted. “Oh, meet Big Daddy, the schlong who ate Hollywood.” She sifted through the slips of paper on the bar. “Are these all phone numbers?”
“Yeah, bitches. I’m obviously a handsome drag king.”
“You can thank your fake willy,” Jade said.
A petite woman approached Emma and tapped her on the shoulder. “Would you like to dance?”
Emma was led back to the dance floor. She turned and winked at Jade and Calynn.
“That one-eyed snake has gone to her head.”
* * *
By the end of the evening, most of the gang was royally trashed. Alex and Sam sexed it up on the dance floor, impersonating a happy straight couple.
Emma was at the bar with Jade, Calynn, and Zach. She bent her head down to Jade’s chest and tried to motorboat her.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jade asked.
“I…I just try t
o motorboat you…but I couldn’t find ’em,” Emma said with a pained expression on her face. She glanced over at Calynn’s chest, and slowly extended a hand.
Calynn glared. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
Emma’s hands stopped in their tracks. “I think that…s…a dollar,” she grumbled. “This thing is annoying!” She reached into her pants and removed Big Daddy, plopping him on the bar. “I need another beer.” She raised two fingers. “Make it two. Big Daddy’s thirsty.”
When Monette brought the beers, Emma put Big Daddy in one of the glasses. “There you go, buddy,” she said affectionately.
* * *
Sam awoke the next morning with a serious hangover. She moaned at the morning light filtering in from the windows. Alex was asleep on her stomach. Sam lay half on her, one leg possessively slung across her hip. It took a few minutes for things to come into focus. They had partied hard last night and drank way too much. Things were fuzzy, especially how they’d made it home.
Sam ran a hand through Alex’s hair, trying to smooth down the wild curls. Alex was beautiful like this, lips slightly parted, long lashes dusting her cheeks, face peaceful in repose. Sam couldn’t resist the urge to touch. She bent down and lightly kissed a bare shoulder, then nibbled down Alex’s arm.
A rustling nearby caught her attention, and she lifted her head. A pair of brown eyes stared back from the other side of the bed. Sam blew an errant strand of hair from her eyes and rose up to get a better view of the intruder. Across the way, a tiny mouth munched back and forth. Rubbing sleep-crusted eyes, she shook her head to clear the cobwebs and peered across the bed again.
“Huh.” Sam shook Alex’s shoulder. “Honey,” she said softly.
“Mmm.”
“Are you awake?”
“Mmm.”
“Why is there a baby goat in our room?”
Alex’s eyes shot open. “What?”
“There’s a baby goat in our room.”
Alex popped up and surveyed the room. “What the hell?” Her eyes searched out Sam for an explanation, but all Sam could do was shrug. A soft bleat floated across the bed. “Holy shit, there’s a baby goat in the room.”
“He’s cute.”
“Is that Maynard? And is he eating your mustache?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Huh. I guess they really do eat anything.”
“What should we do about it?”
Alex took a moment to take in the scene. “Don’t know. But looking at you is making me horny. Let’s have sex and we’ll come back to it.”
“In front of the goat? Isn’t that a little weird?”
“We can feed him the rest of your outfit, keep him busy. Oh, wait, there goes the wig.”
Sam’s phone rang. “It’s Jade.” She put it on speaker and answered. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Did you see WeHo Daily yet?”
“No, we just woke up.”
“Hold on, I’ll show you.” Jade texted a screenshot from the website. It was a picture of Alex piggybacking Carl around the dance floor, with the headline, “Local Author with Mystery Man.”
Sam hooted. “That’s hysterical!”
“I thought you’d like it.”
“You know what’s funnier?”
“What?”
Sam texted Jade a picture of the goat in their bedroom.
“Jesus Christ.”
Alex headed to the bathroom. “Ah, honey?”
“Hold on Jade. Yes, baby?”
“There’s another one in here.”
“Another what, babe?”
“Another baby goat. He’s in the tub, sleeping. I think it’s Maxwell. Obviously, I can’t say no to you when I’m drunk. Might wanna take a memo.”
“Let me get this straight: sometime between the bar and home, you two birds stole a pair of baby goats?” Jade said. “While riding around in a limo.”
Sam nodded. “Yes, it appears we did.”
Alex crawled back into bed and snuggled her.
“But, as my girlfriend likes to say, in our defense, they were free to a good home. So it’s not like we committed a felony or anything.”
Alex nipped her nip.
Sam giggled and pulled Alex’s head closer to her breasts, inviting more activity.
“You think this is funny?” Jade asked.
“No, it’s very serious.” Sam laughed as Alex motorboated her.
“Was that what I think it was?”
“What did you think it was?” Sam pushed Alex’s head lower and groaned when Alex arrived at her destination.
“Oh my God. Okay, okay, I deserve this. What base is she on?”
Sam’s breathing became erratic. “Third.”
“Touché, Sami, touché.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Marie’s here with the dresses.”
The stylist wheeled the clothes rack in, and Sam threw the latch across the jamb to leave the door open for Jade, Emma, and Calynn, who would be joining them shortly. Sam had booked them all rooms at the Peninsula Beverly Hills.
Alex and Lenna went over to inspect the clothes, wearing their complimentary hotel robes and slippers.
“Is there a pantsuit for me?” Lenna asked.
Sam patted her on the shoulder. “I took care of it.”
Alex punched her sister. “It’s the Oscars, numb nuts. You should wear a dress.”
“I don’t do dresses.”
“You’re so precious.”
That comment earned Alex a throwdown on the couch.
They were still wrestling when Sophia entered the room. “Really?” With hands on hips, she addressed WrestleMania. “Hey, I have an idea, let’s act like we’ve been here before.”
“It’s the Academy Awards,” Lenna said. “I have no clue how to act.”
“You’ll be fine,” Sam said.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna leave her here, babe? She can be all sorts of embarrassing,” Alex said.
Lenna bopped her in the head with a pillow and pushed her onto the floor.
Jade burst through the door at that moment, with Emma and Calynn right behind her. “Party time, bitches!”
Emma squealed. “Wrestling match!” She ran over and pounced on the Novato sisters.
Jade folded her arms in disgust. “How about the adults start getting ready. The first graders can go last.”
Jade, Sam, Sophia, and Calynn headed into the bedroom to get dressed.
After a few more minutes, the three stopped wrestling and sat with their backs against the couch.
“These robes are nice,” Lenna said. “I’m sticking it in my suitcase. Do you think they’ll notice?”
“Will there be room? What with all the beer you shoved in from the mini fridge,” Alex said.
Emma burrowed between the sisters. “Guys, take whatever you want. They don’t care.”
“They don’t?” Lenna asked.
“Nope. Take it all.” Emma looked at the dining room table. “Where’s your gift basket?”
“Lenna shoved it in Sophia’s suitcase. She doesn’t get out much.”
Emma nodded. “I decorated a whole room with hotel stuff once.”
“Really?” Lenna asked.
“Yeah. I bought a new suitcase just so I could take it all home. I’ve taken a comforter, sheets, curtains. I took an entire serving set once, too. Served six.”
Lenna’s eyes widened. “Wow. Aren’t you the little klepto? Cool.”
“You took all that?” Alex asked.
“Yep.”
Lenna scouted the curtains.
“Don’t you dare,” Alex warned.
“What? We need curtains in the spare room. These are kinda nice.”
“Do it.” Emma nudged a shoulder into Lenna, egging her on.
“No.” Alex’s mouth set in a hard line. “Don’t do anything that might reflect badly on Sam.”
The mention of Sam’s name was all it took for Lenna to be properly chastised.
A half h
our later, Sam breezed into the living room with hair up, makeup on, and dressed to the nines.
Alex stared, mouth slightly agape. She was a vision, perfect and beautiful. Sam’s blond curls were piled on top of her head, with feathery tendrils hanging down the side of her face. She wore a gorgeous, black, sleeveless gown with a sheer throw over her bare shoulders.
As usual, Alex’s eyes stopped at the full cleavage.
Sam smirked. “See something you like?”
Alex swallowed. “Uh-huh. I kinda wanna take that gown off right now.”
Sam laughed. “You’ll have to wait a few hours,” she teased. “Do you think you can manage?”
“I guess I’ll have to.”
Sam pointed to the bedroom. “All right, dorks. In you go.”
Alex gave her a quick, careful kiss, not wanting to ruin her makeup job. “You’re gorgeous,” she whispered.
* * *
They stood around the living room an hour later, waiting for the limo. Sophia fussed with the buttons on Lenna’s sleek, elegant pantsuit, while Jade, Calynn, and Emma tried to find comfortable shoes from the selection Marie had brought. Logan waited patiently nearby, handsome in his black and white tuxedo.
Sam was busy admiring her girlfriend. Marie had chosen a free-flowing silver gown for Alex. There was a slit up the side—showing off a sexy, tanned leg—and an open back. The hairstylist had straightened Alex’s unruly waves so they cascaded down past her shoulders.
Sam ran a finger along Alex’s arm. “You look like a goddess. We need to dress up more often.”
“Well, you’re breathtaking.” Alex drank her in. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“And I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”
Alex’s eyes fluttered shut. Sam’s hand had found the gap in her gown, and it slid between her legs, up, up, stopping at the dead end.
Sam chuckled at the expression on Alex’s face and gave her another peck on the lips. During the last two years, occasional rumors had surfaced about Sam’s love life, and how Alex was always near, but the whispers had never become full-blown accusations. It had certainly kept Jade busy, trying to explain to the press the reason for their closeness. Just a couple of friends living together for the time being was her usual line. Alex had remained steadfast in her support of Sam’s career, never insisting she come clean about their relationship. But it pained Sam to keep their love and life they shared a secret. In fact, as time went on, it got harder and harder. She needed to step out of the closet, sooner rather than later. Alex deserved that.
#CassiNova Page 26