by Karly Lane
Griff pulled into a parking spot out the front of the hardware store. While he was in Griffith he needed to pick up a few things before he headed back home. He felt a kind of weary defeat hovering over him as he walked down the aisles of the large store. She was only going away for a few days, he reminded himself again. But it did nothing to shift the heaviness in his chest.
As he’d watched her walk out to that plane, he’d felt uncertainty grip him. It hadn’t been long enough. He needed more time with her. She was walking away, and he was standing there letting her go without putting up a fight. It didn’t matter that he knew she was only going to visit her father for a few days. Christ, she needed to go see her father; he was in hospital having almost lost his life. He felt like a selfish bastard wanting her to stay with him when he knew she needed to be with her parents right now, but still he couldn’t shake the feeling that he hadn’t had enough time to convince her that this thing between them could be something. He’d heard the wariness in her voice yesterday when he’d called. She was having second thoughts about it all.
He’d be having second thoughts about it too if he were smart. How could they go from years of being family friends to this crazy all-consuming desire that refused to let him think straight, all in a matter of days? If he were being honest, though, it hadn’t started a few days ago, it’d started months ago at Hadley’s wedding. How could one bloody wedding cause so much drama?
On Hadley’s insistence, Griff had stepped in to put a stop to Olivia’s attempt at tabletop dancing. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Olivia that drunk before, but in true Olivia style, when she put her mind to something she made sure she did it thoroughly and in style. As he’d carried her from the reception—by that stage she’d hardly been able to walk—the feeling of her in his arms, the warmth of her body against his chest and her scent swirling around him had hurtled him back in time.
‘What are you doing? she protested weakly.
‘Saving you from yourself,’ he muttered.
‘I don’t want to be saved,’ she wailed dramatically.
‘Too bad.’
‘I’m having fun. Isn’t that what everyone’s always telling me to do?’ she demanded. ‘You need to be more fun, Olivia,’ she mimicked.
‘Who tells you that you need to be more fun?’ Griff asked, trying to keep the amusement from his voice. He still couldn’t believe she was this drunk, but he had to admit she was kind of cute, in a dishevelled, indignant, lost-one-shoe kinda way.
‘Everyone,’ she said belligerently. ‘Hadley,’ she finally admitted. ‘She thinks I need to find a man and have lots of hot, nasty sex.’
He almost tripped and had to quickly right himself. ‘What?’
‘That’s what she thinks I need.’
He wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
‘And Cash,’ she said bitterly.
‘Cash?’ Griff frowned. He wasn’t ready to be talking about the woman who’d rejected him—even if she had done it nicely. It still stung.
‘She can have any man she wants. Her name should be Jolene,’ she said and tilted her head slightly to look up at him. ‘Like that song? You know?’ and started to belt out a woeful version of the Dolly Parton classic. He winced, although he was unsure whether that was on account of the terrible singing or the fact she was a little too close to the mark with her assessment. Thankfully, they reached the house and she stopped mid-chorus as he carefully placed her back on her feet to open the door.
‘What are we doing here?’
‘I’m putting you to bed.’
‘Taking me to bed?’ she said, looking up at him surprised.
‘Putting,’ he corrected, wishing she’d stop looking at him with those big innocent eyes. ‘You need some sleep.’
She didn’t protest as he swung her back into his arms and carried her the rest of the way to his old bedroom and sat her on the edge of the bed. He gently removed her remaining shoe and handed her one of his football jerseys to put on. ‘You can wear this to sleep in. I’ll go get you some water while you get changed,’ he said, heading for the door and hearing the rustle of her bridesmaid dress as she tugged it over her head.
In the kitchen he filled a glass with water, reflecting on the day. He’d tried not to look at Cash today, but time and time again his attention had been drawn to her. Their last encounter, when they’d kissed, played on his mind. She’d kissed him back, he’d felt it. He’d seen a spark of desire in her eyes as he’d pulled away, before she’d told him she was seeing someone else. Shame washed over him as he recalled his reaction. He’d been angry. He hadn’t meant to demand to know who she was seeing like some possessive maniac, but he had been jealous. He was hurt and pissed off and frustrated, but it hadn’t been any excuse to act the way he had. He needed to find Cash and apologise. He didn’t want to carry this self-loathing around another second longer. She’d found someone else, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, but he needed to move on and he couldn’t do that until he said sorry for the way he’d behaved.
He lightly knocked on his bedroom door, opening it slowly when he didn’t hear a reply. He grinned despite himself at the sight that greeted him. Olivia had managed to get her dress off and climb into his shirt before it must have all got too hard and she’d collapsed against his pillows and fallen asleep on top of the covers.
He put the glass of water beside the bed and went back out to grab a blanket, not wanting to disturb her by trying to tuck her in. As he covered her, he swallowed hard at the sight of her shapely bare legs. He gave a start when she suddenly took his hand and tugged him down towards her.
‘I think I made a mistake,’ she murmured, half asleep.
‘Everyone has too much to drink now and again. You’ll be okay tomorrow … afternoon.’ He did not envy the hangover she’d be dealing with in the morning.
‘No, I mean with you. I made a mistake breaking up with you. You’re a good man, Griffin. I bet you’d know how to give a girl some hot, nasty sex,’ she added, her words slurring.
Griff gave a strangled chuckle. He really needed to have a word with his sister about the kind of advice she was giving to her friends. ‘Get some sleep, Liv.’
‘I’ve never found another man like you and I never will. I never stopped loving you,’ she said softly, tucking his hand under her chin and closing her eyes again.
Her words threw him off balance. Surely that was the drink talking? It had to be. How could she have loved him all this time and never said anything? Nah, she was just feeling nostalgic and her guard was down. He carefully untangled her hand from his and rose from the edge of the bed.
He looked down at her thoughtfully as she began to sleep peacefully. He’d come back to this once she was sober, he decided. Right now he had to find Cash and put that chapter to rest.
‘Griff?’ A voice brought him back to earth with a jolt and he realised he was standing stock-still in the same aisle. ‘Can I help you find something?’
‘Hey Gary, yeah.’ Griff cleared his throat. ‘I’m here to pick up our order, and I need some hundred mil ag pipe.’
Gary looked at him oddly. ‘No worries. The ag pipe’s over this way.’ He led him away from the gardening tools to the other side of the store. It was going to be a very long few days.
Fifteen
There is nothing quite like a hug from your mum, Olivia thought as she hugged her mother back tightly after stepping through the doorway of her apartment. There was still strain around her mother’s eyes and she looked worn out.
Olivia took a moment to readjust to her familiar surroundings. She’d decorated in whites and creams and the bright, spacious room had always felt like a sanctuary when she walked through the door at the end of a long work day, but had it always felt this sparse before? Compared with her family home, where the walls hung with photos and every spare surface was covered in special knick-knacks and mismatched photo frames, her apartment seemed very bare. She had photos of course, but they were grouped on o
ne hallway table and they were in matching white frames, sorted in purposely positioned groups and arranged in varying heights. Everything had an order in her place, and although she’d always preferred the more minimalist approach to decorating, looking around now, it seemed a little too coolly chic.
‘You didn’t have to come all this way just to visit,’ her mum chastised, pulling her from her distracted musings.
‘I think she’s coming back to make sure we’re behaving,’ Aunty Kay chirped from the kitchen.
‘Well, you two left to run amok is always a bit of a worry,’ Olivia conceded, ‘but it’s not a huge deal—it’s only a couple of hours by plane. Besides, I needed a break from picking up after Ollie. Seriously, Mum, he’s twenty-six years old.’
‘He’s my baby, and he works hard,’ Sue Dawson said with a fond smile.
‘I’m your baby and I work hard too, but no one picks up after me,’ she pointed out dryly.
‘Well, if you were still living at home, I’d do it for you too,’ she said with a shrug, accepting the coffee her sister carried over.
‘Have you managed to get out and do any exploring while you’ve been here?’ Olivia asked her aunty.
‘When I can convince this one to leave Bill’s side long enough,’ she said with a wry shake of her head.
‘We went shopping yesterday,’ her mother said. ‘I don’t know how you manage to find your way around some of those shopping centres. They’re so big. I don’t think I’d like to go there on my own, I’d never find my way out again.’
‘Bit bigger than Griffith,’ Olivia agreed. Her mother said the same thing every time she came to visit. She’d never be a city girl, that was for sure. Olivia enjoyed the convenience of having anything you wanted on your doorstep. If you wanted something back in Rankins Springs, it was a major haul into Griffith to go shopping, and even then you were limited in what you could choose from.
‘You know,’ Olivia started slowly, thinking she might as well test the waters straightaway, ‘I’ve been thinking about a new idea for the farm.’
Her mother looked up at her curiously, so Olivia ploughed on before she lost her nerve. ‘I was talking with Lavinia about her farm-stay accommodation. She was saying how popular it’s been, and the more I thought about it the more an idea started to form.’
‘Oh darling, I don’t think your father or your brother would be very keen on that kind of thing. I’ve heard their views on the matter,’ her mother interrupted gently.
‘Oh, I’ve heard Ollie’s take on it,’ Olivia assured her. ‘But that’s not exactly what I had in mind. I’d like to put an educational spin on it. Do you remember Fiona, my friend from uni? She works for a big educational company now, and with a little input from her I think we could establish a really unique farm stay that centres on school groups and focuses on the paddock-to-plate concept as a learning tool. There seems to be a really big need for something like this. Lavinia made me think about it—she had a family stay with them and their kids were blown away by things we take for granted, like where and how we get milk and meat and how grain becomes bread. I think schools would go nuts for something like this.’
‘It all sounds a bit … involved,’ Sue said slowly.
‘It’s not polished yet, just an idea. I thought it might be a good idea to start thinking outside the box about ways to bring in extra income and this might give Dad an outside interest.’
Sue studied her daughter thoughtfully for a few moments before giving a slow nod. ‘You could be right. What your dad will and won’t be able to do in the future is still a big unknown. It might not be a bad idea to start exploring a few different avenues,’ she said, and Olivia smiled. ‘But maybe we won’t mention them to your father just yet,’ she added. ‘He’s having a little bit of trouble adjusting to everything. I don’t want to give him another thing to worry about.’
‘What do you mean, trouble?’
‘Oh, nothing to worry about,’ she dismissed hurriedly. ‘It’s just that I don’t think he’s thought much about what will happen if he doesn’t recover as fully as we’re hoping. At the moment he’s focused on everything returning to normal as soon as he gets home, which is a good thing … in a way. He’s at least motivated … most of the time. But there’s a chance he won’t regain the amount of mobility he had before and that’s going to put limits on what he’s able do. He refuses to consider that possibility at the moment, but if it comes to that, then maybe ideas like yours will be useful.’
Olivia sensed her mother’s concern and understood. It was important for her father to remain positive, but if positivity couldn’t give him a full recovery, he’d need something else to keep him motivated and optimistic. As desperately as she hoped her dad would recover fully, realistically, he wasn’t getting any younger. His injuries could continue to hinder him even after he’d recovered, and he may never be able to do as much physically on the farm as he used to.
A little later, as they drove to the hospital, Olivia noticed how crazy the traffic was compared to Rankins Springs. It was always a shock whenever she returned to the city from a visit to her parents. This time, though, it really frustrated her. Why did people think spending half their time in traffic snarls was an acceptable way to live?
Her father was sitting up in bed reading the newspaper when they walked in, and Olivia had to swallow past a large lump in her throat when he looked up and smiled. He looked thinner, older and a lot more frail than she could recall him ever looking before.
‘Hi, Dad,’ she said.
‘What are you doing back here so soon? Couldn’t handle living with that brother of yours again?’ he asked, hitching one bushy eyebrow at her.
‘I’m pretty sure I can handle Ollie,’ she told him. ‘I heard you were giving the nurses a hard time, though, and I thought I’d better come back and make sure you were behaving yourself.’
‘The nurses are all right,’ he said, dropping his voice slightly, ‘it’s those flamin’ physiotherapists. Bunch of torturers.’
‘I’m sure they’re not trying to hurt you on purpose,’ Sue said, straightening the bedcover briskly.
‘They bloody are! And they smile while they’re doing it.’
‘Oh Bill, stop it. They’re just doing their job.’
‘Mum said you’re doing really well, so hopefully you won’t be in here too much longer,’ Olivia cut in, trying to mollify her father.
His grunt didn’t seem overly reassuring. ‘Tell me what’s going on back at home,’ he said, waving off the other talk and getting down to business. ‘Your mother won’t let me talk to your brother.’
‘That’s not true.’ Sue frowned at her husband. ‘You spoke with him the other day.’
‘Yeah, but not about the farm. Fill me in, what’s he up to?’
‘Well …’ Olivia glanced nervously across at her mother, unsure if she was stepping on any toes, but her mother shrugged and so she sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘He’s been working around the clock, which is why you haven’t been able to talk to him much. He reckons it’s going to be a bumper crop,’ she added brightly, hoping to cheer him.
‘You don’t go countin’ your chickens before they hatch—I tell him that every damn season.’
Alrighty then, he wasn’t in a cheery kind of mood. ‘The weather’s been holding out. No rain, which is good,’ she tried again.
‘Yeah, well, as long as nothing goes wrong to delay it. He better make sure he’s not dillydallyin’.’
‘He’s working really hard, Dad. You should be proud of him.’ Not for the first time, Olivia felt sad for her brother. Her father had never had any trouble telling her how proud he was of her achievements, but not once had she heard him praise Ollie. She knew he was aware of how hard his son worked and the long hours he put in, and yet she’d never heard him tell Ollie he’d done a good job.
‘He’s not doin’ anything more than what every other damn farmer out there’s doin’ every day,’ he said obstinately.
Olivia knew her father was in a great deal of pain still, and that for such an active man to be stuck in bed most of the day had to be incredibly frustrating, but it was still hard to listen to such negativity. They managed to talk about a few other bits and pieces, but soon it was time for his physio session and they left a very unimpressed and crotchety patient to a cheerful woman in her twenties, who ignored Bill’s grumbling and went about readying him for his treatment.
‘Is he always like that?’ Olivia asked her mother as they headed back down the hallway.
‘No, not always,’ her mother sighed. ‘Today was a bad day. He has them every now and then. I’ll come back a bit later this afternoon and he’ll be all right.’
‘Why don’t you stay home and have a break and I’ll come back and sit with him?’ Olivia said gently. It had to be hard on her mother trying to remain optimistic and strong every day. ‘I’d really like to.’
‘Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.’
Olivia went back to the hospital later that afternoon, having made sure her mother was resting.
‘Hi, Dad.’ She kissed his cheek before taking a seat.
‘Where’s your mother?’ he asked, looking behind her and frowning.
‘I told her to have a bit of rest. She’s looking tired.’
She saw his face soften a little. ‘She is. I’ve told her she doesn’t have to come as often as she does, but she won’t listen to me.’
Olivia smiled at that. ‘Nope, she does what she wants.’
‘I wish she’d go home. There’s nothing she can do here. You should make her go back with you.’
Olivia gave a small snort. ‘I’d have to gag her and tie her up to get her on the plane. She wants to be here, Dad.’
‘Yeah, I know. It’s just a bugger, you know?’ he said, looking away. ‘I feel like I’ve let everyone down.’
Olivia fought tears, blinking rapidly to compose herself before she could speak. ‘You haven’t, Dad. You just need to concentrate on getting yourself well again so you can come home. We need you.’