‘Get what over with?’ His voice was soft—too soft as far as Brenna was concerned.
‘If you’re going to chew me out for the way I let this situation build up, then I wish you’d get it over with!’ Her eyes flamed.
He shrugged broad shoulders, sitting forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped together in front of him. ‘I’m not.’
‘Why aren’t you?’ she demanded, irritated by his calm attitude.
He looked at her with narrowed eyes. ‘My “chewing you out” isn’t going to help anybody.’
‘No, but—’
‘For God’s sake, Brenna.’ He stood up forcefully. ‘I’m not stupid enough to think you could have stopped Grant coming here; Lesli wouldn’t have been able to prevent me getting here if the positions had been reversed!’
Nathan’s baby. That had once seemed more than a possibility to her, and thinking of it again, here and now, caused a warmth of emotion inside her that made her sway towards him.
‘Whoever my wife happened to be,’ he added harshly, his hands thrust into his denims pockets now.
Brenna dragged herself back from the insanity of putting her arms about him. Minutes ago she had learnt that Lesli suspected what she had always known; that the Wade brothers were willing to sacrifice anything to hold on to full control of what they believed to be theirs: the ranch, the foothold of the Wade dynasty. Patrick might have appeased his own conscience by dividing it up between them the way that he had, but Grant and Nathan hadn’t been willing to meekly sit back and accept it. She knew Grant did love Lesli, probably as much as a Wade was capable of loving; she had seen his love for his wife during their four years of marriage. But she also knew that possession of the ranch entered into his feelings. And she had known Nathan’s proposal to her had been made for exactly the same reason, and was not motivated by love at all.
‘You do realise that if anything should happen to this baby, the way things stand between them at the moment, it will be the end for Lesli and Grant?’ Nathan suddenly rasped.
She dragged herself back from the hellish memories of knowing Nathan had only asked her to marry him because of the ranch, the physical attraction he felt for her being an added bonus as far as he was concerned. She swallowed hard as the realisation of what he had just said sank in. ‘You don’t mean… oh, no!’ she groaned shakily.
His arms closed protectively about her. ‘It’s a possibility that has to be faced. You heard Dan earlier, even though the baby is seven months along he can’t offer any guarantees.’
If the baby died it would destroy Lesli and Grant, and no matter what Lesli said to the contrary, she loved Grant more than anything else in the world, and always had. Without the baby they both wanted so much the marriage couldn’t survive, not now.
‘It will be all right,’ Brenna’s voice was muffled against Nathan’s chest. ‘It has to be!’
Nathan put her away from him, his expression grim. ‘I have to call Mindy and let her know what’s happening—’
‘Let me do that,’ she cut in quickly, wiping the tears from her face.
He nodded abruptly. ‘I think she would appreciate that.’
The frost left Mindy’s manner as she put in a few abrupt questions during Brenna’s halting explanation of what was happening.
‘Give Lesli my love when you see her,’ Mindy spoke huskily. ‘And tell Grant—tell Grant—’
‘I understand,’ she said softly as the elderly woman’s voice broke emotionally. ‘I’ll call you again as soon as—as soon as we know anything.’
But they didn’t know anything ‘soon’. The labour was prolonged, the day stretching into evening before a haggard-looking Grant came out of the delivery room.
‘We have a daughter,’ he choked. ‘She’s beautiful; black-haired, blue-eyed. And she may not last the night!’ He swayed on his feet, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as tears streaked the hardness of his cheeks.
‘Lesli?’ Brenna prompted faintly.
He blinked, focusing on her with effort. ‘She’s very tired, but Dan’s sure she’s going to be fine.’
‘Can we see her? Is—’
‘Brenna!’ Nathan cautioned harshly, his arm going about his young brother’s shoulders. ‘Sit here with Brenna for a while, and I’ll go and have a word with Dan myself.’
‘Yes.’ All the fight had momentarily gone out of Grant, and he allowed himself to be seated, Brenna sitting quietly at his side while Nathan went in search of the doctor.
‘She’s so little,’ Grant finally choked. ‘So tiny, Brenna.’ He blinked back the fresh tears. ‘God, if she lives, and Lesli still wants to divorce me, I’ll let her go. Anything, as long as the baby is allowed to live!’ he vowed fiercely.
‘You—you would let Lesli take the baby with her?’ Brenna frowned.
He nodded. ‘They let Lesli hold her, just for a second,’ his face softened at the memory. ‘She was crying and laughing at the same time, already she loves her deeply; yes, I’ll let her take the baby with her if she really wants a divorce,’ he rasped.
‘And you?’ Brenna prompted huskily. ‘What will you do if that happens?’
He gave a scornful laugh. ‘What is it you always said about the Wade men: they’ll survive no matter what? I’ll survive this too!’ he claimed fiercely. ‘God, if only she weren’t so damned small,’ he choked, his face in his hands. ‘She wasn’t much bigger than this, Brenna.’ He held a hand up in front of him. ‘How can such a tiny thing win the battle to live!’
If Grant were willing to let Lesli and the baby leave him then she had seriously misjudged how deep his love for Lesli went; he must love them both very much, enough to let them go.
‘She’s a Wade, Grant,’ she told him firmly. ‘And Wades don’t quit.’
His smile was bitter. ‘I just may do that if I lose either of them!’
There was no doubting his sincerity, and Lesli had to be made to see, even if they should lose their beautiful daughter, that the two of them still had a marriage to work at.
‘We called her Christiana, after the two grandmothers,’ Grant spoke again. ‘But maybe the name will have more significance than we know.’
‘Grant, don’t,’ she squeezed his arm. ‘It has to be all right.’
He drew in a ragged breath. ‘I wish I could believe that, but if you could see her—!’ He shook his head, his eyes bleak.
‘Lesli is asleep.’ Nathan strode back into the room. ‘We can all go and take a look at the baby in her incubator before we leave.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Grant grated as he stood up to flex his tired shoulder muscles. ‘I’ll sit in with Lesli. If—if there’s any news about Christiana I want to be with Lesli when they—when they tell her.’
‘Dan’s pretty hopeful, Grant,’ Nathan soothed. ‘She’s small, yes, but she’s quite strong.’
‘Strong’ hardly described the doll-like baby who lay asleep in the incubator; she was so tiny and still that Brenna couldn’t believe she was real, fascinated as she saw a movement of one of the tiny hands. Grant was right, Christiana looked too tiny to survive. Tears wet her own cheeks.
‘Dan thinks it best if we don’t disturb Lesli again tonight,’ Nathan spoke gruffly as they all stood outside Lesli’s room. ‘There’s nothing more you can do here tonight, Grant, and—’
‘I’m staying,’ he repeated challengingly. ‘Alone.’
‘Grant, you—’
‘Think in reverse, Nathan,’ Brenna cut in softly, holding his angry gaze until it softened to understanding.
‘I’ll be out first thing in the morning, Grant,’ he squeezed his brother’s shoulder. ‘Call if there’s any news before then,’ he instructed briskly. ‘I doubt if either Brenna or I will be asleep.’
She knew that both of them wished they could have stayed at the hospital with Grant, but they had to respect that it was a vigil he had to keep alone.
‘Nightcap?’ Nathan suggested once they had told Mindy what was happening at
the hospital and she had gone to bed after Brenna had assured her she could cook them something to eat if they should discover they were hungry.
‘Please,’ she accepted the brandy he handed her, its fiery warmth easing the numbness they both felt. ‘Would you like me to get you something to eat?’ she offered.
He shook his head. ‘I’m not hungry.’
She gave a ragged sigh. ‘Nor me. Do you think it’s going to be all right, Nathan?’ She looked at him pleadingly, never needing his strength as much as she did at that moment.
‘I don’t know,’ he surprised her by admitting. ‘I looked at that little girl battling for her life, and I—God, I didn’t know babies could be that small!’ he said shakily, taking a swallow of the brandy, wincing as it burned a path to his stomach. ‘Did you notice how much like you she looked?’
Her startled gaze met his pained one. ‘Nathan…?’
He shook his head. ‘Until I saw her, Lesli’s pregnancy had seemed a little unreal. Oh, I could see she was getting bigger, but… when I looked in that incubator and saw Christiana! She looked like you,’ he rasped. ‘And if she dies it will be as if a part of you died!’
‘Nathan, no!’ Brenna put her glass down to go to him, her arms about his waist as she put her head against his rapidly moving chest.
He gripped the tops of her arms. ‘We could have had a baby like that!’
Her face paled as she was forced for the second time that day to think of Nathan’s baby. She felt that warmth again at the thought of it.
‘God, I need you tonight.’ Grey eyes searched the pale beauty of her face. ‘Sleep with me tonight, Brenna!’ he urged.
She wanted that too, wanted to be held by him, loved by him, as they both sought oblivion during the long night hours. She gave a wan smile. ‘My room or yours?’ she invited huskily as he had that night so long ago.
‘It doesn’t matter which,’ he shook his head. ‘As long as you’re with me.’
It wasn’t a time for questioning motives, on either side, tonight they needed each other, and Brenna was prepared to lose the rest of her heart to this man for that need.
They watched each other as they undressed in Nathan’s bedroom. Nathan was more muscular than ever, deeply tanned by the Alberta summer sunshine. His eyes darkened as Brenna unbuttoned the front of her blouse and let it fall to the floor before taking off the pale cream camisole that was all that covered her rose-tipped breasts, his hands the ones to unzip her skirt and let that fall to the floor too, her last piece of clothing, a tiny scrap of lace, quickly joining the pile of clothes.
Strong, roughened hands gently caressed her hips and thighs as Nathan’s lips parted hers in a drugging kiss. His hair felt silky and crisp as her fingers laced through it, his body curved sensuously into hers as she felt the leap of desire in his thighs, gasping her pleasure as his lips and tongue moved purposefully to capture her breast.
Their need for each other was as primitive as life itself, as elemental as they each possessed the other in driving need.
She was ready for him, accepting him inside her like a part of herself, the joy of being joined to him in this way superseding all other thoughts in her mind as they moved together in fierce desire.
Flames licked at her body in a burning crescendo, and she knew Nathan was consumed by the same fire, hearing him call out her name as they reached the peak of that desire together.
Nathan buried his face in her throat as his lips burnt her flesh. ‘It’s always so perfect with you,’ he groaned. ‘I’ve never known this with any other woman.’
Physically they were unique; she had known that a year ago even as she knew it now, it was over every other basic requirement of a relationship that they disagreed. ‘Let’s not talk, Nathan,’ she encouraged.
‘No,’ he acknowledged ruefully. ‘Things always get messed up when we talk!’
Neither of them made any attempt at conversation during the night hours, the only sounds from within the capacious bed were small gasps and murmurings of pleasure. Sleep was unnecessary as they reacquainted themselves with each other’s bodies, and it was almost six o’clock when Brenna suggested going back to her own room.
‘What for?’ His arms tightened about her.
To put her tattered defences back together! Admittedly there had been no talk of marriage between them this time, no mention of anything beyond the moment, but she no more trusted Nathan now than she had a year ago.
‘I thought we could have breakfast and go back to the hospital,’ she dismissed lightly, once again drawn to him as he looked boyishly handsome with his hair ruffled in the early morning light.
‘Brenna?’ He grabbed hold of her arm as she would have got out of bed. ‘Is this going to happen again?’ His eyes were dark.
She avoided that gaze. ‘No.’
‘Brenna!’
Her fingers faltered as she drew the camisole over her head, and then she completed the task. ‘Just last night, you said, Nathan.’ She concentrated on fastening her clothes.
‘Damn you!’ he stood up. ‘You know I want you for more than one night!’ he glared.
She looked at him with unflinching eyes. ‘I can explain last night, Nathan,’ she bit out. ‘The newest member of our family, a tiny baby,’ her voice was husky, ‘is fighting for her life. Last night we needed to reassure ourselves of our own survival, and we did it in the most fundamental way there is!’
He closed his eyes, running a hand over them in weary acceptance of the truth. ‘Go and get dressed,’ he instructed harshly. ‘We may as well drive in to the hospital together.’
Tears joined the water cascading down her cheeks as she took a shower in her own bathroom. Last night she had proved more than life with Nathan, she had proved once and for all that she loved him. She always had. It wasn’t even difficult to pinpoint the time she had realised that she loved him, had recognised it—and as quickly buried it!—after arriving home from a date when she was eighteen. For once she had been early. Gary Brody had been one of her more persistent dates as he tried to persuade her that everyone made love after their first few dates nowadays. She was growing tired of his persistence and had ended the evening abruptly, then sat talking to Nathan for over an hour once she got in, suddenly realising that she would rather spend a few minutes just talking with him than a whole evening with Gary or anyone else. She had gone to college in England knowing she loved Nathan, and even the pretence she had given herself that something might one day come of those feelings had been quickly shattered. She might have told her heart to stop loving him, it just hadn’t been listening!
It still wasn’t listening.
CHAPTER SEVEN
GRANT called while Brenna was in the shower; Christiana was doing well, and Dan was very optimistic!
Lesli was awake when they arrived at the hospital; she had been allowed to get up and be taken in a wheelchair to look at her daughter. Lesli and Grant sat holding hands during Brenna and Nathan’s visit, their love for their daughter superseding everything else at this moment.
Brenna longed to talk to her sister alone, to assure her of the depth of Grant’s love. Maybe when they had first married his prime objective had been to hold the ranch together, but he loved Lesli with everything now; he couldn’t have offered to let her and the baby go out of his life if he didn’t.
But it was impossible to talk to Lesli that day. Grant was always at her side, Nathan always hovering in the background. But she would talk to her sister very soon, would explain about Grant’s reaction last night; Lesli couldn’t possibly doubt him after that.
But ‘very soon’ never seemed to materialise. She visited Lesli and Christiana every day, but Grant or Nathan or Mindy, or one of Lesli’s friends from neighbouring ranches was always there too. By the time Christiana was two weeks old and gaining enough weight for Dan to think they might be able to discharge mother and baby in another couple of weeks, she still hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to Lesli alone. But for now the married couple
seemed to have forgotten their differences, and Grant was spending all the time that he could at the hospital.
When Brenna wasn’t visiting Lesli and Christiana she was up in her studio finishing the Koly illustrations. She was well within the schedule, having little else to do but disappear into the studio every evening after dinner, Nathan being either absent or busy in his study.
‘I don’t think you’re taking care of Brenna, Nathan,’ Lesli chided him one morning when they had both arrived within a few minutes of each other to visit her. ‘She’s looking pale,’ she frowned.
Next to her sister perhaps she did look a little pasty; if the latter end of her pregnancy hadn’t agreed with Lesli then motherhood certainly did. Lesli was glowing with health, secure in the knowledge that her daughter was thriving. But Brenna certainly didn’t need to be subjected to Nathan’s probing look, especially as it was the first time he had really looked at her in days.
His mouth twisted. ‘Any man who tried to take care of Brenna would have to be a masochist—or worse,’ he grated harshly.
‘Maybe she’s been working too hard.’ Her sister still looked concerned.
He shrugged. ‘I think Brenna is old enough to know when she should stop.’
‘But—’
‘Lesli,’ Brenna cut in impatiently, ‘I’m not pale, I’m not working too hard—’
‘—and she certainly doesn’t need me to take care of her,’ Nathan finished tauntingly.
‘Maybe she needs to get out and enjoy herself for a while,’ Leslie continued to worry.
‘The damned phone hasn’t stopped ringing since she got home,’ Nathan scowled. ‘All her old boy-friends have heard she’s back!’
Lesli’s expression brightened. ‘Was Gary one of the ones who called?’
‘I think your maternal instinct must be working overtime,’ Brenna dismissed indulgently. ‘Poor Christiana will have her husband picked out for her before she’s out of her cradle!’
‘Not if I have anything to do with it,’ Grant cut in fiercely, a look of uncertainty crossing his face as he realised what he had said. ‘I mean—’
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