CHAPTER EIGHT
‘SHE won’t break, Nathan,’ Lesli teased him.
‘She’s still so small,’ he complained, holding Christiana as if she were made of glass.
Yesterday Grant had driven mother and baby home, and at a month old Christiana weighed a healthy five pounds, although as Nathan said, she did still seem very small. But her lungs made up for her lack of size, as all the household had heard during the night, her cries waking everyone, although Lesli was obviously used to the disturbed nights now and looked the freshest of the four of them. Christiana was now sleeping like a little angel!
Brenna watched Nathan holding the little baby, her heart aching at how right he looked with Christiana in his arms. He would be a good father to his children. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be their mother.
Or would she? Something that should have happened a week ago hadn’t. They had got away with their lovemaking a first time, she wasn’t so sure they were going to be as lucky a second time. It still seemed too tentative to be true, although she could feel the anticipation building up inside her just at the thought of it. It was too soon to mention the possibility to Nathan yet, although she knew if it were true she wouldn’t keep it from him.
And he did look so right holding Christiana.
‘Your turn.’
She blinked up at him as he held out Christiana to her. She had held the baby dozens of times in the hospital, but somehow the act took on a new meaning now, and tears filled her eyes as she gazed down at the beautiful little face beneath the mop of silky black hair.
‘She’s going to break a few hearts when she’s older,’ mused Nathan.
‘Yes,’ Grant agreed abruptly.
‘We’ll have to have a boy next so that he can protect her,’ Lesli put in huskily.
Brenna could have cried at the joy that flared in Grant’s eyes. The married couple had continued to occupy separate bedrooms on Lesli’s return home yesterday, and obviously Grant had seen that as an indication that Lesli still wanted to divorce him. Mention of a brother for Christiana had to mean that wasn’t so—didn’t it?
‘Er—Nathan, you said something about going out for a ride?’ she prompted quickly, handing the baby back to Grant as he continued to look at Lesli.
A frown darkened Nathan’s brow. ‘What…? Oh,’ he nodded understandingly as he saw her fierce expression. ‘Of course,’ he nodded drily, opening the bedroom door for her. ‘See you two later.’
‘I think they’ve already forgotten us,’ Brenna mocked as they walked outside into the sunshine.
‘Probably,’ he drawled. ‘Does that mean our ride is off?’
She looked up at him sharply. The two of them had once again been doing their best to avoid each other the last two weeks, and as a way of preventing arguments it had worked very well. She couldn’t see him actually seeking her company now.
‘Don’t sound so disappointed, Nathan,’ she said sarcastically.
He swung her round to face him as she would have walked off. ‘But I am,’ he assured her huskily.
Her eyes widened, then she frowned as she saw the flare of desire in his eyes. ‘I thought you were still seeing Dee.’
‘I am,’ he rasped. ‘Does that mean we can’t go riding together? Is it me or yourself that you don’t trust, Brenna?’ he taunted as she hesitated.
Resentment flared in her eyes. ‘I haven’t exactly been beating a path to your bedroom door the last two weeks!’ she snapped.
‘That’s probably because I haven’t been in it,’ he drawled. ‘Or hadn’t you noticed?’
Oh, she had noticed that he had spent most of his nights away from the ranch, and so had Mindy, from the reproving looks she gave him at the breakfast table each morning. Obviously his desire for Brenna didn’t stop him going to the other woman for solace.
‘Wasn’t I supposed to?’ she challenged mockingly.
His mouth tightened. ‘Can you blame me for going to a woman I don’t have to beg from?’
‘You’ve never had to beg from me!’ she defended.
‘You would have liked to have me on my knees to you!’ he grated.
No, she had never wanted that. She just wanted to leave here, go back to England, where she no longer had to see him. She had never wanted to punish him for what he was, knew he couldn’t help being the way that he was, that he was a Wade.
‘You’re wrong, Nathan,’ she told him softly. ‘All I ever wanted was for you to leave me alone.’
‘And now that I have?’
She hated it! She hated thinking of him spending his nights with Dee Wallace, making love to the other woman, as he would one day make love to his wife. But after seeing the way Lesli had been destroyed by the knowledge of Grant’s mercenary behaviour she was even less sure she could ever settle for what Nathan offered.
She shrugged. ‘It’s your life.’
‘God, you really don’t care about anything, do you?’ he rasped, his eyes cold.
‘Then I must have become more of a Wade than I realised!’ she scorned.
Nathan drew an angry breath into his lungs at the insult. ‘Are you coming for a ride or not?’ he bit out.
‘Actually, I’m spending the day at the Brody ranch,’ she revealed reluctantly.
‘With Gary?’ His eyes were narrowed.
‘Yes,’ she confirmed defensively.
‘With the man who “groped you in the front seat of his car”!’ Nathan rasped disbelievingly.
‘Yes!’
‘Whose idea was that?’ he demanded tautly.
‘Gary telephoned, and I—’
‘And you aren’t spending the day with him,’ Nathan told her arrogantly.
‘Don’t tell me—Nathan, put me down!’ Brenna protested as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. ‘Nathan!’ she squealed as he refused to put her down.
‘You want to be groped in the front seat of a car—then I’ll be the one doing the groping.’ He threw her into the passenger seat of his car before getting in behind the wheel and accelerating away.
Brenna straightened just in time to see Bill grinning at them from the paddock, tilting his hat to her mockingly, his eyes twinkling merrily at the display of Wade arrogance he had just witnessed.
She turned furiously to Nathan. ‘You’ve just made us a laughing stock!’
‘I couldn’t give a damn,’ he bit out grimly, his eyes narrowed on the road.
‘I could! You… Where are we going?’ she gasped as he turned towards Banff rather than Calgary.
He gave her a chilling glance. ‘I’m taking you up into the mountains where the only people to hear your screams for help will be the animals!’
She gave him a scathing glance. It was the end of the summer season, but all the same there were still plenty of holidaymakers travelling up through the Rockies through Banff and Jasper; the number of caravans and campers that went that way every day was evidence of that. Nathan would be lucky if he could find somewhere there wasn’t people.
If his anger had lessened on the drive from the ranch to Lake Louise there was no evidence of it from his tight-lipped profile, and as he took the less used turn-off for Moraine Lake Brenna’s scorn turned to trepidation.
‘Nathan…’
‘Only the animals, remember?’ he grated between clenched teeth.
She turned completely in her seat to look at him. ‘Look, I wasn’t spending the day alone with Gary, a group of us were going to laze around his pool, and… Nathan,’ she chided impatiently as he looked unmoved by the revelation. ‘This is ridiculous,’ she sighed. ‘You know how short-handed you’ve been at the ranch the last month with Grant at the hospital most of the time; you can’t just take the day of like this.’
‘I just did,’ he drawled.
‘This is all so silly—’ She broke off at the fierce anger in his eyes as he turned to her. She swallowed hard. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I’ve always had this fantasy of laying you dow
n on the grass in the sunshine and making love to you. I’m about to fulfil it,’ he ground out.
‘Nathan, you can’t just make love to me any time you feel like it,’ she protested.
‘You want it too,’ he said confidently.
She must be so transparent to this man; the erotic picture he had painted with his fantasy had filled her with longing too!
He turned off the road on to what must be a Rangers’ track, the grass simply flattened down a little where tyres had passed over it before, although that didn’t look as if it had happened lately. It was a bumpy ride, and when Nathan finally stopped the car Brenna realised they must have gone about half a mile or more from the main road, completely shielded from view by the tall pine trees.
‘Shall we walk?’ he suggested.
‘Walk?’ she echoed uncertainly.
The anger had gone from his eyes and in its place was a languid warmth. ‘It’s a long time since I just walked in the mountains,’ he said huskily.
If walking was going to help him forget his threat to ‘grope’ her then she was all for it. She didn’t feel quite as happy with the arrangement when he took her hand in his as they walked along, her heart lurching at the warm intimacy of that calloused hand.
‘I used to bring you fishing up here,’ he murmured, giving her a sideways glance. ‘As I recall, you didn’t mind hooking in a fish for our lunch!’
‘That was because you told me they couldn’t feel any pain!’ she glared.
‘I think even a fish might notice it was being eaten!’ he dismissed that logic.
‘Nathan—’
‘This looks as good a spot as any.’ He came to a halt beneath a tall pine tree, the grass soft and springy underfoot. ‘The car idea was fine, but I think I’m a little too old for it, and the Camaro is a little too cramped for what I have in mind for us.’
How could coldly calculating grey eyes be this warm, the pupils dilated to fathomless black; Brenna felt as if she were drowning in those fiery depths.
She sank down on to the grass with him, her arms about his neck as he bent over her to claim her mouth. They were in no hurry to do more than share languid kisses, had all the time in the world. The silk blouse Brenna wore moved easily over her head, her breasts were cream and honey to Nathan’s avid mouth.
She loved the way he suckled against her, and wondered briefly if she carried his baby inside her, but only briefly—the erotically charged emotions soaring through her body were demanding complete control.
‘Offer them to me, Brenna,’ Nathan groaned raggedly, his mouth closing possessively over one turgid nipple as she cupped her breasts forward for his enjoyment. The fiery warmth shook her body, and she could feel herself ready for him, thrusting against him as his hand cupped her over lace.
‘Not yet, my love,’ he groaned as he peeled off her clothes piece by piece. ‘This time I have to make you mine completely, until you realise that no other man can give you what I can… No!’ he protested raggedly as she began to draw away from him, his teeth rough against her hardened nipple. ‘Only like this, Brenna,’ he urged. ‘Only like this!’
There was no doubting the truth of that, she had known it from the moment he first made love to her. And because she knew, as he did, that this was probably the last time they would touch like this, their lovemaking was wild, out of control, hurting even as they loved.
Nathan laid her naked on the warmth of his discarded shirt, feasting on her body like a man starved of food, drawing her inside the moist warmth of his mouth, and as that warmth touched the very centre of her womanhood she groaned her fevered need. It was a need Nathan answered, and her eyes glazed with passion when he at last moved above her.
‘Nathan, please!’ she urged as he rubbed sensuously against her.
‘You take me!’ he rasped.
She opened to him, engulfed him as she felt him shudder within her, the fevered movements of their bodies arching in rhythmic need. Brenna cried out her own release as, with a hoarse groan, Nathan flowed inside her in never-ending spasms.
He lay on his back at her side as they both gazed up at the clear blue sky through the branches of the majestic pine tree. ‘No one but the animals,’ he murmured in contentment.
Brenna felt too languidly replete to do more than limply rest her hand on the hard contour of his stomach. ‘I didn’t scream,’ she said softly.
‘Oh, yes.’ He turned to smile at her. ‘You screamed.’
She remembered now. As release shook her she had screamed her love for him.
‘I love your body too, Brenna.’ His hand cupped her breast, the nipple springing to life at the gentle caress of his thumb. ‘I love what it does to me.’
Her gaze searched his face as he bent over her. Did he really believe she had only meant she loved his body? He was so intent on his ministrations to her breasts that it was difficult to read anything but desire in his face. So soon? Surely he couldn’t want her again so quickly…?
He made love to her over and over again as they spent the day beneath the huge pine, taking, giving, letting himself be taken. Brenna lost all sense of time, aware only of Nathan and the beautiful ecstasy they could create between them.
‘Cold?’ Nathan gathered her close as she shivered. ‘I guess fantasies don’t allow for the fact that the summer is almost over and the evenings can be cold,’ he grinned.
Fantasy. The closeness that existed between them now had to be part of that fantasy. And she didn’t want it to end, had become a part of Nathan today, a part that she knew was as necessary to him as it was to her. He couldn’t pretend this need for her!
‘Hey!’ he frowned as she rolled on top of him. ‘More?’ he groaned as he read the longing in her smoky-green eyes as she moved against him.
They both lay back exhausted after a climax more shattering than any other had shaken both their bodies, their hands entwined as the early evening air chilled their sweat-dampened bodies.
‘I don’t want you to catch pneumonia.’ Nathan sat up to help Brenna back into her clothes. ‘If it isn’t already too late!’
It was too late for her. She loved this man. All her efforts to escape that knowledge the last four years had been destroyed by this day of lovemaking. Maybe she wasn’t meant to have everything in her life, certainly not a love that was without blemish. She knew Nathan wanted to marry her for the ranch, but after today how could she go on denying that she wanted him, or knowing how much he desired her? She hoped her father would forgive her, but she couldn’t fight this love any longer, she needed Nathan too much to go on living without him!
‘Brenna…?’ Nathan touched the tears on her cheeks. ‘Darling, I didn’t think I’d hurt you! Sweetheart, I know I go a little insane when I have you in my arms, but—I’m sorry!’ There was pain etched into his face. ‘I just can’t seem to stop making love to you once I start!’
‘Do you love me, Nathan?’ She desperately needed to hear the words, even if she knew it wasn’t the complete love she felt for him.
His mouth tightened. ‘That’s a damned stupid question if ever I heard one!’
‘Do you?’ she prompted raggedly.
‘I always have,’ he grated, pulling on his own clothes. ‘What is this, Brenna, some perverted idea of justice because you can’t say no to me when we make love?’
‘No,’ she denied self-derisively, looking up at him tearfully. ‘A need to know my feelings are at least returned a little!’
‘Your feelings? Brenna?’ He came down on his knees in the grass beside where she still sat. ‘Brenna, talk to me!’ he urged roughly.
‘I meant it when I said I love you,’ she admitted gruffly. ‘I can’t go on fighting it any more. I love you, and if you still want to marry me I… Yes,’ she told him with simplicity.
‘Yes?’ he frowned.
‘Yes, I’ll marry you.’
‘What?’
‘You’ve changed your mind?’ she said uncertainly. Maybe he had decided that with her lack of interes
t in the ranch she was no threat to him after all!
‘Of course I haven’t changed my mind,’ he dismissed scornfully.
It was ridiculous to feel relief over something that she had always dreaded! ‘I have,’ she told him quietly.
‘But… Never mind.’ He shook his head. ‘You’ll marry me?’ he said incredulously.
‘Yes.’
‘When?’
‘When?’ she gave him a startled look. ‘But… I haven’t had time to think about that,’ she frowned.
Nathan pulled her to her feet, his hands lightly on her upper arms. ‘I’m not giving you the chance to run out on me again,’ he told her grimly. ‘We get married as soon as I can make the arrangements. And if you have to go back to London in the meantime—’
‘I do,’ she put in quickly. ‘There’s the flat to sort out, and then there’s Carolyn—’
‘Then I come with you,’ he stated arrogantly.
‘That isn’t necessary—’
‘It’s very necessary,’ he told her intently. ‘Last time you went to London alone, you didn’t come back!’
‘I promise you that I’ll never run out on you again,’ she looked up at him unflinchingly. After all, what could he do to her that was worse than marrying her for gain and convenience? But she had to accept that love for the ranch and keeping that together was the only love he could feel.
‘I don’t intend giving you the opportunity,’ he told her forcefully.
‘Nathan, I mean it—I can’t run any more.’
He searched the unhappiness of her face. ‘Brenna, we’ve just said we love each other, we’re going to be married. Can’t you tell me now what you’ve been running away from?’ he frowned darkly.
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ she dismissed with bravado, pride dictating that she couldn’t bring out into the open the abhorrence she felt about being married for what she possessed and not because he loved her. ‘You’ve always been so arrogant, Nathan,’ she said lightly. ‘But today I learnt that I only have to touch you to make you forget about that. I’m no longer afraid to marry you.’
‘Afraid?’ he echoed ominously. ‘But—Brenna!’ he groaned as she put her hand on his thigh, hardening beneath the gentle caress of her fingertips. ‘It’s too damned cold now to do that again here,’ he rasped. ‘But later tonight!’ he promised huskily.
The Wade Dynasty Page 11