“Obviously, the decision on which cock you want to ride tonight is hard for you to make. I’ll fucking make it easy for you since you’re having such a hard time deciding.”
My eyes opened wide as Eagle spouted those words. He then turned around and fucking walked out of the bar. I was shocked as hell, he didn’t even try to fight for her.
I heard Blood mutter behind me, “Christ, Bane. What the fuck did you just do?”
Once again, I ignored him. Instead, further driving in another nail into my coffin, I muttered quietly, “See, Kenzie, he hates when he doesn’t get his way.”
She pushed against me and mumbled, “I want to go home.”
She turned toward her friends only to see what I saw. They were obviously very busy with the rest of my Brothers and didn’t look like they would be willing to leave anytime soon. Blood and Slaughter were glaring at me, I couldn’t find it in myself to care at the moment. My actions were still dominated by the fucking demon in my head.
“I can take you home,” I said softly.
She looked at me undecided.
“I won’t hurt you, Kenzie. I promise.”
She studied my face trying to determine if what I said was a lie or not, then finally she nodded. I let the guys know we were leaving. I saw all my Brothers' angry looks when they realized it was me taking Kenzie home instead of Eagle. I ignored them all. Leading Kenzie outside, I gave her my helmet to wear and she gave me her address, then I carried her home.
Once there, I walked her to the door despite her telling me I didn’t have to. After she opened it, she turned to look at me. I leaned forward and kissed her. At first she didn’t respond, but I knew since she had ended up responding to me earlier, I could make her respond now, I pulled out the big guns and soon she was kissing me back. Before long, I had managed to get her worked up enough that she wasn’t thinking straight.
“Let me come in, Kenzie,” I uttered huskily as I pulled back from our kiss.
I could see the slight hesitation in her expression, not wanting that, I leaned back in and started kissing her again. Soon she was whimpering.
“Kenzie, let me come in and make love to you,” I said to her again. My hands were cupping her breasts and my thumbs were rubbing her nipples through her shirt.
She finally nodded and I walked into her apartment, officially ending one of the only good things in my life. My bond with Eagle. The demon had won, alright. He had made me fear Kenzie coming between us, and she did, just not how I had been afraid she would. He had used my fear and convinced me I had to keep her away from Eagle. She wasn’t the cause of me losing Eagle’s friendship after all. I was.
~***~
Chapter 4
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!
~Sir Walter Scott~
Eagle
July 12th, 1998
A pounding on my door woke me up. My damn head felt like it was going to fall off. I’d come back to the Clubhouse, grabbed a fifth of Jack and took it to my room where I proceeded to get commode-hugging drunk. I wasn’t in the mood for any company. I tried to ignore the knocking, but whoever was banging on my door didn’t appear to get the message that I didn’t want to fucking talk. I swung my legs off the bed and stalked to the door. I flung it open to see Bane standing outside it with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Where’d you disappear to, Brother?”
“Get out of my face, you fucker,” I snapped.
“Ah, come on, Eagle. Don’t be that way. If I knew you wanted her that bad, I’d have given her to you.”
I heard a roaring in my ears. The fucker was trying to imply that she was his to give and he would have taken pity on me and given me the girl. Oh, hell no.
“You could have hung around. I wouldn’t have minded sharing with you. She was a good fuck.”
That was it. I snapped. I hauled off and slugged the shit out of Bane knocking him smooth out. I turned around, shut my door and locked it. Then I stormed into the bathroom where I crawled into the shower to wake myself up. The words she was a good fuck echoed over and over in my mind. Well, fuck her and fuck him. I hoped they got what they wanted out of each other.
I got dressed and decided to go for a ride. I opened my door only to find Bane just coming to. I stepped out, turned and locked my door.
“What the fuck did you do that for?” he groaned as he tried to stand up.
“I’d stay down there if I was you,” I growled as I swung around to face him. Yeah, you could say I was more than a little pissed. I was in a fucking fury that knew no bounds.
Bane didn’t listen, he staggered to his feet. His hand was on his jaw working it back and forth.
“Dammit, Eagle. Why did you slug me?”
I stared at him in disbelief.
“You’re seriously asking me that question?”
“Yeah, man. I am.”
“You know damn good and well I liked the girl, Bane. What happened to the promise of not poaching on a girl the other liked?”
“I didn’t really think you liked her that much. Hell, Eagle, you’d only laid eyes on her twenty minutes earlier.”
“Don’t spout that bullshit to me. You know I liked her and don’t try denying you didn’t. We know each other better than that. Well, I thought we did. I’ve recently learned that you are a backstabbing, cheating, motherfucker and a liar to boot.”
“You asshole,” he snarled at me.
“What’s wrong, Bane? Does the truth hurt?”
“You’re just fucking jealous she picked me over you,” he spit out.
“Did she really pick you over me? Or did you try your best to make sure she did. I noticed you had to wait until I was taking a piss before you made your move.”
“Well, it was my lap she was sitting on when you got out of the john wasn’t it? It was also my cock she rode last night too.”
I saw fucking red and, once again, I punched the shit out of Bane as hard as I could. I knocked him out, spit on him, then I stepped over his body and headed toward the stairs. I glanced down the hall to see Blood watching. I didn’t check my stride. Not once. I didn’t fucking care. I was done.
~*~
Bane
When I woke up, the demon started riding me hard. He kept whispering that I needed to finish the job. I glanced at Kenzie who was sprawled out beside me. Once I had started kissing her last night, my dick had decided he didn’t have a problem being inside of her. He didn’t either, he’d been inside her four times. My intentions had been to fuck her and leave.
Sometime during the middle of taking her, everything changed. She managed to strike a spark in me. That had shocked the hell out of me and, to be honest, kinda scared the shit out of me. I’d never felt anything like that before with any woman. Needless to say, the following three times weren’t a quick fuck.
My body had been in tune with hers. While I wouldn’t say we made love, hell, I wasn’t even sure what that was, it hadn’t been just fucking either. I didn’t give her all of me, but I gave her more of me than I have ever given anyone else. That sure enough had quieted the demon while leaving me running scared.
I never wanted anything long term with a woman. I never would either. Not after growing up the way I had. My childhood wasn’t bad, truthfully, it was pretty good, all except for the fact that I was a bastard. My mom would never tell my sister and me who our dad was.
Over the years the knowledge that I didn’t know who he was started eating at me. No one knew though, I kept that shit locked down. I’d always managed to control the demon that rode me hard with all his whispered words and suggestions. Yet he’d won last night and, as much as I was fighting it, I was afraid he was going to win today too.
I got dressed, left without so much as a note and rode back to the compound. Like a puppet being controlled by his master, I made my way to Eagle’s door and started pounding on it. Finally, he opened the door.
“Where’d you disappear to, Brother?” I asked him kno
wing I was pissing him off.
“Get out of my face, you fucker,” he snapped.
“Ah, come on, Eagle. Don’t be that way. If I knew you wanted her that bad, I’d have given her to you,” I taunted him.
Christ, why couldn’t I quit saying this shit? I knew I was hurting him, but the devil riding my back wouldn’t let me stop no matter how hard I tried.
“You could have hung around. I wouldn’t have minded sharing with you. She was a good fuck.”
I couldn’t believe the filth spewing out of my mouth. A part of me wanted to scream for someone to stop me from spouting any more garbage. Then I didn’t have to worry about it, because I saw Eagle’s fist flying at me and the last thing I remembered was feeling pain in my jaw and everything going black.
As I started coming to, Eagle opened his door and stepped into the hallway.
“What the fuck did you do that for?” I groaned even though I knew I deserved that and so much more.
“I’d stay down there if I was you,” Eagle growled at me. I could tell he was madder than hell.
I ignored what he said and managed to get up off the floor, swaying as I did. I reached up and grabbed my jaw, working it back and forth.
“Dammit, Eagle. Why did you slug me?” I muttered to him.
I couldn’t believe I had just asked him such a dumbass question. My only defense was my brain was addled and the fucker in my head wouldn’t shut up.
He stared at me like I was crazy. Oh, if he only knew.
“You’re seriously asking me that question?” he snapped at me.
“Yeah, man. I am,” I mumbled. My brain was still spinning in circles in my head from his hit.
“You know damn good and well I liked the girl, Bane,” he stated. “What happened to the promise of not poaching on a girl the other liked?”
The part of me that was desperately trying to fight the monster in my brain cringed when he asked that. I had broken not only a vow of Brotherhood, but of our friendship. Although that didn’t stop the vomit that continued to flow out of my mouth.
“I didn’t really think you liked her that much. Hell, Eagle, you’d only laid eyes on her twenty minutes earlier,” I smarted off to him.
The part that still knew what I was doing was wrong was praying for someone to just shoot me and put me out of my misery.
“Don’t spew that bullshit to me. You knew I liked her and don’t try denying you didn’t. We know each other better than that. Well, I thought we did. I’ve recently learned that you are a backstabbing, cheating, motherfucker and a liar to boot.”
His words cut deep, God, how they hurt. The fucking demon that was in charge of this dog and pony show was laughing at me, fucking laughing. Why couldn’t I stop doing this? Why?
“You asshole,” I snarled even knowing what he said was the truth.
Everything he uttered felt like he was flaying my heart into slices so thin each piece immediately shriveled up into small particles and disintegrated, leaving behind a gaping wound that only I could see and feel.
“What’s wrong, Bane? Does the truth hurt?” he asked me.
Hell, if he only knew just how much. My world was shattering into the dark abyss of hell. My demon had almost managed to destroy my life.
I heard myself say, “You’re just fucking jealous she picked me over you.”
“Did she really pick you over me? Or did you try your best to make sure she did. I noticed you had to wait until I was taking a piss before you made your move.”
‘No, Brother,’ the part of me that still had a rational voice whispered in my head. ‘She didn’t pick me, she wanted you.’
Then the nightmare that had control over me uttered the damning words, “Well, it was my lap she was sitting on when you got out of the john wasn’t it? It was also my cock she rode last night too.”
And with insane laughter echoing in my brain, my demon won. He finally managed to destroy one of the last good things in my life. He took Eagle away from me.
I saw his fist coming. I didn’t even try to get out of the way or stop it. The part that the fiend didn’t have control of knew that this would stop the hell that I was being forced to endure. Once again, his hit knocked me out. My last thought as I faded into the darkness was I hoped I stayed out a long time. Maybe forever.
~*~
Water splashed in my face waking me up. I sputtered and saw Blood standing above me with a cup in his hand.
“What the fuck did you do, you fucker?” he growled at me.
I shook my head trying to get my bearings.
“I should beat you half to death,” he snarled at me. “You fucking taunted him with that shit. Bane, how could you do that? Brothers don’t do that and you know it. You just broke a vow of Brotherhood.”
I groaned. The agony of what I had done the past fifteen or so hours hitting me hard. The fucking demon was quiet. He’d gotten what he wanted and done what he needed to do. Now, I was the one who was going to have to live in the hell of my own making.
Blood reached down with one hand, fisted his hand in my shirt and jerked me to my feet.
“I’m asking you again, Bane, why did you do that?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“Bullshit. You started this shit last night. What? Was taking the girl from him not enough for you? You had to come here and smear it in his face?’
I jerked at hearing the truth. God, what had I done?
“You disgust me right now, Bane. Just to let you know, this shit’s not done.” He pushed me away from him and released my shirt.
“Get the fuck away from me before I do beat you. You make me sick to my stomach.”
I dropped my head at hearing his damning words. Without saying anything else, I went to my room and shut the world away. If only I could keep it like that.
~*~
Kenzie
I woke up to an empty bed. I moved and winced as long unused muscles protested. I made my way to the bathroom, started the shower, peed, and hopped into the warm water.
Last night started playing over in my head. God, I’d been so enamoured of Eagle. The feelings he sparked in me scared me to death. I felt like he was consuming me whole. The vague thought had flown through my head that I could get lost in him and not know who I was anymore. I couldn’t let myself be that captivated by a man where there would be nothing of me left. Men didn’t stay, they left. My dad had shown me that.
Realistically, I knew there were men out there that wouldn’t leave, that didn’t cheat, yet I didn’t believe I’d find one. I was twenty-five and not one single man had even made a blimp on my radar. I’d slept with a couple guys and decided if that was all there was to sex, then I sure didn’t need a man. I could get myself off better than the men I’d been with had managed to do. I sure hadn’t had an orgasm with them.
Eagle had come at me with guns blazing and soon was holding me hostage in his arms. I’d loved every minute of it too. He’d wiped out every thought I had in my head. The only thing I’d wanted to do was let him devour me whole until I didn’t know anything anymore.
After Bane interrupted us, I went with him to the tables and sat down. The thought that I had escaped a close call whispered through my mind while another thought told me he could rock my world. I wasn’t sure about the first notion but I definitely knew the second one would be true. A part of me wanted to find out what it would be like to let a man swallow me whole, the protective part screamed that I needed to keep myself safe.
Listening to Bane’s warning about Eagle had the precautionary side of me saying, ‘I told you so,’ while the sexual side of me was saying, ‘Who cares? I just want to burn alive.’
Somewhere inside I doubted Bane’s words. I didn’t think Eagle was like that, I didn’t think he was just out for what he could get, yet I didn’t know him so how could I be sure about that?
When Bane put me on his lap and started kissing my jaw, I’d wanted him to quit and even told him to, he hadn’t though, and I did
n’t really try that hard to get away from him. I wasn’t sure why either. The only thing I can think of is maybe I didn’t feel threatened by him. I didn’t believe he could take over control of my thoughts or my body.
I resisted his kiss at first, then I started kissing him back. It was nowhere near the inferno it had been with Eagle, however, my body started responding to Bane. He was turning me on, making my body come alive without the fear of losing myself to him.
After the horrible debacle with Eagle was over, all I had wanted to do was come home. Looking at the girls, I knew they weren’t about to leave yet so I let Bane take me home. When he leaned in to kiss me, I started to resist at first, then I decided to see what his kisses would be like. Soon I couldn’t think, oh, it was nothing like with Eagle, yet good in its own way.
I could tell he was just in it for a quick fuck when he first started working my body, and work it he did. I was soon enjoying everything he did to me. The other men I had been with hadn’t made me feel anything like Bane was managing to make me feel. Sometime during the middle of everything, his movements became different. At first his hands on my body felt a little impersonal then it changed, soon he was caressing me, almost lovingly.
I could tell he wasn’t fully involved, still it was different from when he first started out. He made me fly and it felt so good. I figured he’d leave then, but he didn’t, he stayed and over the next several hours his body seduced mine to the point of madness. The feeling had been exquisite and, truthfully, I’d enjoyed every minute of it.
Despite all of that, I thought deep in my heart I should have spoken up last night. I should have told Eagle I wanted him.
I groaned.
God, that made me sound like a horrible person. I didn’t mean for it to, I just knew deep down that I’d probably lost one of the best things that could have ever happened to me in my life. I’d lost the chance with Eagle. I knew there was no way now that I’d been with Bane that he’d ever want me for more than a quick fuck and I highly doubted he’d even want that now. I’d thrown that chance away and it was going to plague my thoughts a long time.
~***~
Bane (Angel's Rebellion MC: #7) Page 4