“Fine, my place. I mean their place.”
We strolled for six blocks, in the opposite direction of my hostel. “Wow, I didn’t realize how far you had to walk.”
“You’re worth the walk. We’re here.” He pointed at a building few yards away. “Would you mind waiting outside for a few minutes? I need to inspect the bathroom, the kitchen and make sure everyone is wearing pants.”
“No problem.” I kissed him before he walked down the sidewalk leading to glass double doors.
He stopped and turned. “I’ll be right back.”
The three-story apartment building abutted the beach, about four blocks from the tourist area. Unlike the rest of the town, this street was empty. Only the sound of waves, roaring onto the sand behind the building disturbed the silence. For a couple of security guards, it looked like a swanky building. I walked the length of it, inhaling the scent of the jasmine flowers planted between the wall of the building and the sidewalk. The sidewalk turned sharply to the left, and, fifty feet ahead, I spotted a large swimming pool shaded by Plumeria trees. When I reached the pool, I noticed a handful of white flowers floating lazily on top of the sparkling water. While inhaling the scent of flowers mixed with the salty air, I bent down and skimmed my finger over the water--warm and tempting.
After a few moments, I shook the water from my hand and returned to the front of the building, not wanting Avi to come outside and think I left. Next to an enormous purple rhododendron was a small cement bench. I sat down and waited.
After ten minutes, he walked out the front door.
“It’s safe now,” he said. His voice sounded flat.
“If you don’t want me to stay, that’s fine. I can go back to the hostel and meet you for an early cup of coffee.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to waste a night we could be together.” He clasped my hand, weaving his fingers with mine and led me through the door.
As we walked across the enormous cream marble floor of the lobby, I scanned the room. There was no back wall. A wide waterfall covered the spot where the wall should have been. Water ran over a long black rock that acted as a ledge and spilled into a pool filled with coy. Teak bookshelves ran the length of the left wall. Strategically spaced around the marble floor were clusters of cream colored sofas, high back chairs, and teak end tables that matched the bookshelves. Glass balls suspended from the ceiling bathed the room in a soft white light.
“Wow, this place is gorgeous. Chabad must pay really well,” I said, turning my head to continue looking at the glass ball lights.
“That, I don’t know.”
The elevator doors opened. He pushed the button for the third floor. There were only two doors, one at each end of the long hallway, which meant the entire floor consisted of only two apartments. Both had to be huge. He led me to the door on the left.
The inside was nothing like I’d imagined. This wasn’t a Phuket, Thailand, apartment. This was an Upper East Side Manhattan apartment, plate glass windows and a sliding glass door leading to a balcony overlooking the Andaman Sea. The apartment’s floor plan was open and bright. The stainless steel and marble kitchen looked like a professional chef’s dream come true. The living room held all the clues that the inhabitants were three males, a giant flat screen television and three video game controllers sitting on a glass-top coffee table.
The apartment wasn’t spotless, but it was far from embarrassing. “You call this messy?” I asked, squeezing his hand.
“I’m a fast cleaner.”
A tall, thin guy walked out of one of the rooms. He wore a yarmulke and the strings of his tzitzit hung below his white shirt.
“David,” Avi pronounced his name with a Hebrew accent. “This is Julie.”
“Hi,” I said, stepping forward, but David didn’t extend his hand.
“Hi, sorry, I don’t shake, but it’s nice to meet you.” He walked to the kitchen, saying nothing else.
“A man of few words,” Avi whispered in my ear, pulling me toward the other bedroom.
“What’s the real reason you didn’t want me to come here?”
“I didn’t want you to feel awkward in an apartment with two guys.”
“I lived with my brother, remember. His friends spent large parts of their week in our living room watching sports. I’m used to being around guys. Actually, I’m more used to them than women.”
“I guess I was trying to impress you and felt awkward bringing you here. Sorry.”
“You impressed me the first day.” I flopped backwards onto the king-sized bed and log rolled across it. “Ahhh, a real bed. The one in the hut was good, but this is perfection.”
“Then move over, I’m joining you.”
He jumped onto the bed, landing on his hands and knees, pinning me to the bed. “Perfection? We can’t know that until proper testing has occurred.” He slipped his hand under my shirt and rolled over, pulling me against his chest and encasing me in his arms and legs. “You’re covered in entirely too much clothing.” His voice oozed, smooth, and sexy. His blue eyes bore into me. “It’s time to take it all off.”
Touching him made my heart pound. Desire for him throbbed through every cell in my body. I couldn’t get enough of him.
***
At about two a.m., I woke, and Avi wasn’t next to me. I sat up and spotted him sitting at his desk, hunched over, writing something in a book opened in front of him. “What are you doing?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
“Nothing, couldn’t fall back to sleep. I didn’t want to disturb you, so I started reading, which led to writing down a few notes.” He opened the drawer and put the book inside. “Now that you’re awake, the bed looks more interesting. Though I love watching you sleep. You look like a princess from a fairy tale.”
I patted the spot next to me. “It’s lonely in this big bed without you.” A jolt of pain stabbed me as I heard my own words. In ten days, my bed would be permanently empty. Never again would I wake to the blissful feeling of being in his arms or open my eyes and see his. Tears fogged my vision. This trip backfired in my face. I came to Thailand to accept one loss. Now, I’ll go home mourning two losses. I should have said “no” when he asked to join me in Koh Samui. What’s the sense of dragging out the inevitable end--goodbye forever. He’d go to Israel, and me, back to Pittsburgh.
I should spend my time in Koh Samui alone, focusing on my mission--figuring out how to live without Jack.
Shit, why did I continue lying to myself? My future held nothing but flying home to the PNC Bank job, living with my father until I could afford an apartment, and spending the rest of my time on Earth missing Jack. Now, I could add wondering about Avi’s life.
Maybe Jack would understand if I spent the next ten days enjoying my time with Avi. Would he understand that I’ve never been with anyone and probably never will be with another man as perfect as Avi? Tears streamed down my face. Avi spooned behind me, nuzzling his face into my neck.
Jack, my heart whispered. I love you, and I’m so sorry you died, and I didn’t. I’ll never stop mourning you. I used your insurance money for an adventure. I thought that would make you happy. I’m in Thailand now. And, Jack, I met someone wonderful. I think you’d like him. In ten days, I go home, and I’ll never see him again. I didn’t mean to, but I think I’ve fallen in love with him--the kind of love you pushed me to find. Could you forgive me for being happy for the next ten days? Maybe it’s the only love I’m supposed to get in this life. The kind of love you said you had with your Israeli girl. When I get home, I promise to visit you every day. Feeling happy is more painful than grief. You deserved happiness, not me.
I swiped at my tears and felt Avi’s strong arms grip me tighter.
“Are you crying?” he whispered in my ear.
I shook my head. He rolled me to face him and slid his thumbs over my tears, wiping them away. “This isn’t because it took me so long to bring you here, is it?”
My hand clamped behind his head, and I pulled his
face to mine, kissing him as more tears flowed down my face, wetting his.
He pulled back and ran his hand over my hair. “Do you want to talk about this?”
Again, I shook my head, but my hands showed him exactly what I wanted.
Chapter 9
“Maybe I should say goodbye before we reach the Chabad House. I could walk back to my hostel on a different street.”
“Why?” he asked, zipping his duffel bag.
“Rabbi Sam, that’s why.”
He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, obviously not getting what I was trying to say. “What about him?”
“If we show up together, he’ll know I slept here with you.”
“I’m sure he’s figured that out already. He’s religious, not stupid.”
I scrunched my face. “Oh, shit. He’s going to think horrible things about me.”
“No, he’s not.” Avi wrapped his arm around me and kissed me quickly. “Sam is my best friend, but we live in entirely different worlds. There are parts of our lives we just don’t discuss, and we don’t judge each other.”
“But will he judge me? I’m not his best friend.”
“Probably will. He and Gitte will sit up all night discussing the horror of you falling wantonly into my bed.”
The feigned expression of outrage on his face cracked me up. I pressed my body against his. “Maybe I should fall wantonly into your bed now and give you a proper goodbye,” I whispered seductively in his ear.
He stroked his cheek against mine, inhaling. “Mmmm, that would be very, very nice, but then I would be very, very late for the airport shuttle.” He gave me a quick kiss. “But I’m going to make you pay in Koh Samui.”
“Fine, let’s go.” I pinched his backside as he bent to pick up the bag. He sprung up--startled.
“Didn’t expect that, did you?” I pinched it again. “Or that.” My heart happy danced around my chest, being near him made my entire body feel lighter. I planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Let’s go.”
“If we hurry I can still get coffee,” he said, locking the apartment door behind us.
***
The airport shuttle was scheduled to arrive at the Chabad House at six-thirty. As we waited, the rabbi joked and smiled while Avi groaned for coffee.
“It’s awful. If this guy doesn’t sleep, he’s miserable to be around,” Rabbi Sam said to me.
“I find that coffee helps somewhat. But if you mix coffee with some movement, say walking or standing, it doubles the effectiveness.”
“Hey, both of you. I’m right here listening to this,” Avi said.
I patted his head. “I know, and you’re so cute when you’re grouchy. Have fun in Bangkok, and I’ll see you Thursday night.” I kissed him quickly, not wanting to make Sam feel terribly uncomfortable.
I waved as the shuttle merged into the quiet street, turned, and walked back to my little hostel on the crowded side of town. Normally, I enjoyed being alone, but as I walked the early morning streets of Patong, my hand felt empty without his fingers curled between mine.
A few cars and motorbikes whizzed by, taking advantage of the empty morning streets. Clouds covered the morning sun, the air felt not cool, but comfortable--a good day to run. Inside my room, I changed from flip flops to sneakers and stuffed my laundry into a bag. Hopefully, I was early enough for same-day service.
The laundress told me to pick it up at six o’clock. After thanking her, I stepped outside and began stretching. My muscles felt tight, requiring more than my usual warm-up routine. Finally, I trotted down the street toward the beach. My mind floated off, replaying every moment Avi and I spent together, but it didn’t take long for my thoughts to shift to the life waiting for me back home. By the time I finished my run and began cooling down in front of the hostel, my lungs and heart felt like collapsing not from the strain of my pace, but from an image of a future grayer than the steel bridges in Pittsburgh. Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry. I swiped at the sweat and tears covering my cheeks.
***
At four o’clock, I dropped my beach bag under our adopted heliotrope tree, spread out the mat, and pulled The Source from my bag. The worn cover and dog-eared pages indicated the book was loved. Avi read it more than a few times. But, I wasn’t in the mood for the birth of monotheism and shoved it back into the bag. I flopped onto my back and melted into the feeling of the sun warming my body. If only the sun’s rays and the sensation of it baking my bones could be bottled. I’d store it in my closet and pull it out on the days my heart struggled to beat. And while I was bottling it, I’d hoard Avi’s scent and inhale it every morning, and every night.
I nodded off. The siren of a passing ambulance startled me awake. My skin burned, indicating the nap lasted longer than it should have. The sun barely began its descent into the horizon. I got up and walked into the surf. Before plunging in, images of Jack floating in the blue Caribbean Sea flashed in my head. Water brought out the joy in him. Another trait he and Avi shared. When the water level reached my thighs, I dove in, missing both men.
***
“Hey, lady.” My little friend waved to me from his favorite spot on the sofa, reminding me of the candy I bought for him on my way back from the beach.
I plopped down next to him and placed the bag in his small hand. He smiled before thrusting out his other hand that held his Game Boy. “Broke,” he said.
“Sorry.” I took it from his hand, thinking that maybe it needed new batteries. The screen glowed. Even though I knew nothing about video games, I could see that something wasn’t right.
“Boyfriend fix,” he said, appearing frustrated, as if he had more to say but lacked the English words.
I shook my head. “I don’t think he knows how to fix them, just play with them.”
“Boyfriend fix,” he said it louder this time, as if the increased volume would help me understand.
I shrugged. “He doesn’t know how.”
Lek spewed out a string of Thai words and implored me with his eyes. I felt bad, but why would he think Avi could fix it?
“Lady, please, boyfriend fix.” He thrust the toy at me and tried to put it in my hands. His brown eyes pleading.
“Sorry, Lek. Boyfriend gone.” I moved my hand through the air and made a noise that I hope sounded like an airplane taking off. The look in his eyes told me that he got my message. His disappointment hurt me. Those handheld games were expensive in the United States. I could only imagine the cost of one in Thailand. Lek’s mother didn’t appear to have the resources needed to buy a new one. The poor kid, if I had a wad of extra money...
He got up from the couch, wandered over to the check-in counter, and sat down next to his mother. I headed to my room.
An hour later, showered, dressed, and hungry, I walked to the Chabad House. The final glow of sun lingered on the horizon. I passed pink faced tourists toting beach gear, slogging slowly back to hostels, hotels, and guest houses. Along the way, my nose feasted on the spicy scents escaping from the restaurants lining Thanon Ratuthit Songroipi Rd.
Jack possessed a steel-lined stomach and would have pulled me into one of the restaurants saying, “If you only eat vegetables, you won’t get sick.” Then, like the evening after our first meal in Puerto Rico, he’d spend the night exploring the town, while I built an intimate relationship with the ceramic tile floor in the hotel bathroom. Hell, maybe I’d enjoy traveling more if I had his digestive system.
Orrie greeted me at the door. “Hey, Julie. Too bad Avi couldn’t get out of this seminar.”
So that’s why he went to Bangkok. I looked down, wondering why he didn’t tell me that he and Sam were attending a seminar, most likely a Talmud lecture. “Yeah, but Avi would never cancel on Sam. I’m sure they’ll be enthralled with two days of Jewish learning.”
Orrie flashed me a quizzical look. “Jewish? What are you talking about?”
“I figured since he went with Sam, the seminar would be something relating to religion.”
Orrie t
hrew back his head, laughing. “No, he’s not attending a seminar. He’s teaching it, at some university in Bangkok. The rabbi went to the quarterly Chabad of Thailand meeting. It was a coincidence that they happened at the same time.”
“They weren’t going to the same place?”
“No. But I’ll tell you, it was the first time I ever saw Avi try to get out of work. Usually, nothing comes between him and his work, but he spent over an hour on the phone with the university.”
My head tilted sideways. “Now I’m confused. What’s he teaching at a University?”
“I don’t know. Something to do with artificial intelligence--way too complicated for my brain. But, I do know that since he met you, he’s a lot less interested in that huge bag of books he brought from Israel.”
I didn’t know how to respond. “Well, I’m going to get something to eat.”
Orrie hit the buzzer. I walked into the restaurant, and before I settled in my chair, Nam appeared with the menu and a bottle of water. His words blurred because my brain was busy processing this new information about Avi.
Artificial intelligence was a science, but he never said anything about teaching college. My thoughts massaged this information, molding it, and stretching it, trying to understand why he led me to believe he taught high school.
The food on my plate turned cold. I signaled to Nam and asked for a check.
“Avi said not to give you the check. He’s paying.”
“No, I’m paying. Please give me the check.”
“I don’t want to make him mad. You talk to him about paying.”
Damn, we agreed. “When did he tell you this?”
“The first night. He said he always pays for you.”
I grabbed my bag and walked out the door--ticked off. Outside, Orrie sat on a lawn chair, smoking a cigarette. “Can you believe him? Nam wouldn’t take my money. Said Avi paid for it.”
Jerusalem Stone Page 9