by Jacob Chance
It pisses me off because I do care - too damn much.
“Just because you’re happy living a boring, sexless existence, doesn’t mean the rest of us are.” She pokes me again. “Maybe, I like a little spice in my life. Maybe, I want some big, handsome guy to tie me up and fuck me hard.” She flips her hair and scrunches her nose at me like I’m something distasteful. “Not that you’d even know how to fuck someone hard. You probably only make love.” She rolls her eyes and turns her back to me.
Fuck no. I’m not letting her off that easy.
I grip her wrist, spin her around and pull until she crashes into my chest. The softness of her large tits press against me as I slam my lips down on hers without warning. Jesus. Her hot mouth tastes sweeter and more enticing than I ever imagined. Her lips are soft and full under mine. The sexy little moans of hers have me hard as a fucking steel. I grip her curvy hips and rock her pelvis into mine, then shove my leg between hers. She grinds on my thigh and I bite her bottom lip, tugging on it with my teeth. She whimpers into my mouth and it turns me on even more. My hands slide up her back; my fingers twist in her silky brown hair. I forcefully tug her head back as our tongues rub against each other. She needs to know I’m not some pushover. I like to fucking lead.
Pulling my mouth from hers, we both struggle to catch our breath as I release my grip on her long tresses. Her hand slips up between us to cover her lips, stunned by the kiss we just shared.
Fuck. That never should’ve happened. I wish it hadn’t because now I’m going to wonder what her warm, soft tongue would feel like on my cock.
“If you didn’t act like such a cold-hearted bitch, you’d know what it was like to make love. I'd take you back to my room and I'd show you.” I lean forward and grip her upper arms. “That’s what you do when you care about someone. But, you’re just a body I’d dip my wick in, because men don’t fall for women like you, Elle. You won’t let them, and I wouldn’t even bother trying. Instead, I'd fuck you like I hate you; over and over until you’d beg me to stop.” I let my hands fall away and take a step back. “That's what girls like you want, isn't it, Elle?"
I stare into her eyes and feel guilty for the stricken look I put there. I did what I had to do; I convince myself. Elle is her own worst enemy. She’s a man eater and I don’t plan on being her latest victim.
Chapter Two
Josh
Late April - Present Day
I raise my arm, crooked in the perfect position for Elle to hold so we can walk down the middle aisle toward the church exit. Our eyes meet for a second before she rolls hers away, annoyed that we must do this together. I’m not exactly happy about it myself. Being near her isn’t easy when I crave her like a fucking drug addict jonesing for his next fix.
“Okay, does everyone know what they need to do tomorrow?” Janny, the bride to be asks when all the couples have successfully exited the church. She glances around at each member of the small wedding party.
“I think they can handle it, baby,” Kyle, her soon to be husband says with a chuckle. He pulls her into his arms and whispers something in her ear, making her blush. It’s awesome to see them so happy together and believe me, I haven’t always felt this way. Janny used to be my girlfriend and she’s still my best friend. We weren’t meant to be as a couple, even though there was a time, I thought differently. Anyone who watches the two of them can see they’re perfect for each other. They’ve beaten seemingly insurmountable odds to get to this point. No one deserves a happily ever after more than they do and tomorrow when they get married, they’re taking a giant step in the right direction.
Derek Santiago, Kyle’s best friend loudly claps his hands together. “Does this mean we can move onto the eating and drinking portion of the evening?”
“Hear, hear,” I say. “I’m starving,” I rub a hand over my lean stomach and it growls in answer.
“Everyone head to our new place,” Kyle announces. They recently bought a house in Brookline after their condo tragically burned down in a fire. Fortunately, there were no fatalities, just some lost possessions which could be replaced.
We all pile into our respective vehicles. Elle jumps into the passenger seat of my seven-year-old Dodge Durango. “What’s the matter? Didn’t anyone else have room?” I question, knowing she’s not riding with me by choice. I overheard her say her car’s in the shop, but I never imagined she’d end up in my vehicle.
“Don’t make this worse than it already is,” she says, in a terse tone of voice as she stares out the passenger window. I wait for her to continue, but fortunately, she remains silent.
Starting the engine, I shift into drive and begin the journey to Kyle and Janny’s. The glow of the bright street lamps and various business signs light up the inside of the car as I drive along Main Street. My eyes keep darting to the right getting waylaid by her sexy as hell legs exposed to mid-thigh in her short, tight, red dress. What would those legs feel like wrapped around my neck as I devour her pussy? Shaking my head, I remind myself that having these thoughts about Elle is futile.
Keeping her face turned away, she peers out the passenger window, giving me ample opportunity to continue my ogling without her noticing. She’d only gloat if she knew and I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how much I want her.
We play these twisted games of disinterest, but both of us know when we shared that kiss in Vegas four months ago we lit up like fucking Christmas trees. We can pretend all we want, even lie to ourselves, but fact is fact - I want to be buried so deep inside Elle Johnson, want to fuck her so hard she’ll never escape the memory of what my cock feels like.
Minutes later we’re pulling into the wide driveway of Kyle and Janny’s new Colonial. The saltbox style design is a favorite of mine and originated here in New England. The front is flat and the rear roof line is steeply sloped, extending back, all the way down to one story. When you catch a side view of the house you realize how massive it really is.
Elle is out the door before I’ve shut the engine off. Hurrying to meet her as she comes around the front of my vehicle, I take her arm and guide her along the uneven brick pathway. She’s unsteady in her high heels.
“This isn’t a date, Josh,” she grumbles under her breath, trying to pull her arm from my grasp.
“Elle, I’m perfectly aware,” I say, continuing to hold on, “but I’m also going to remain the gentleman my mother raised me to be. Even your bad attitude won’t change that.” Leading her to the entrance closest to the garage, I follow her up the two steps and reach in front of her to open the door.
Laughter and the sound of people conversing hit us as we step inside. My eyes scan around the space and I’m surprised by all the progress Kyle and Janny have made since they purchased this house. They’ve only moved in recently and it already has the feel of a home. There are area rugs on the floors, curtains on the windows and pictures on the walls. I notice one of the paintings I did for Janny when we were dating has a place of honor over the fireplace. The bright shades of blue I used for the beach scene always reminds me of her beautiful eyes.
My gaze flicks in Elle’s direction as she hugs Janny. I’ve studied her eyes enough to know they’re the color of warm dark chocolate, but if you look closely you notice flecks of gold, like the finest aged whiskey. And if you look further there are tiny fiery specks of copper. Her eyes have so much warmth to them. Too bad her personality is ice cold when it comes to me. I’m not sure what happened with the two of us. We used to be friends and enjoyed each other’s company. Janny, Elle and I always spent time together and even as recent as six months ago, we were fine. Now everything’s changed. There’s always tension and any subject can be a source of contention between us.
Moving into the kitchen, I grab a Sam Adams from the state of the art stainless steel refrigerator and head to the large living room. I find Kyle and Derek kicked back on the large sectional that was purchased to replace Kyle’s old comfortably worn leather couch.
“What’
s up, gentlemen?” I say, taking a seat in one of the large brown leather chairs. Kicking my feet up on the matching ottoman, I sip my beer, before placing it down on the small table beside me.
Derek lifts his chin in my direction. “What’s new with you, man? I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“I’ve been working a lot, finishing up the paintings for City Hall. I’ve had some other side projects going,” I mention vaguely, running a hand back and forth over my short hair. None of my friends are aware of what’s been taking up all my time these days and I don’t plan on filling them in anytime soon.
“Is that new ink on the inside of your arm?” Kyle asks. His eyes narrow with laser focus on my wrist.
Dropping my hand from my head, I tug down on the cuff of my black button-down shirt. I knew it would only be a matter of time before his cop eyes noticed. He never misses anything. “Yeah, it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time now.” Hoping he’ll be satisfied with my answer, I don’t go into detail.
“We’re not good enough to see it?” Derek asks, with a smirk.
“Aww, dude, don’t get your panties in a twist,” I say as I undo the button on my cuff. Rolling my sleeve back twice, I hold up my arm.
“What the hell does that say?” Kyle questions his eyebrows pressing together.
“It’s a line from a nineteenth century poem.”
“Are you turning emo on me, kid?” Derek raises an eyebrow. “Who’s the one wearing panties now?”
“What does it say?” Kyle asks, forever being the peacekeeper between Derek and me.
“She walks in beauty, like the night. It’s a famous Lord Byron poem.”
“Yeah, I don’t remember learning about poetry in school,” Derek says.
“Well, high school was a long time ago, old man. Did you have your fifteen-year reunion yet?” I question.
“Then again, I never brought a single book home my senior year. The O’Leary sisters were in my classes and they used to do my homework for me,” he replies, ignoring my question. Smiling, he wiggles his eyebrows. “Homework’s not all they did for me.”
Kenna, his wife chooses this moment to walk over. I grin with a glance aimed at Derek, knowing he’s fucked.
“What are you guys talking about?” she asks.
“Senior year in high school,” Derek replies with a smile.
Kenna rolls her eyes. “Not the O’Leary sisters again.”
I chuckle. “So, you’ve heard this story?” I question with surprise.
“Please. I’ve heard them all. You forget he and I tried to stay away from each other from the time I was eighteen until I was twenty-five. I think he got a sick satisfaction from sharing stories of his pre-Kenna days, trying to drive me away.” She presses her lips together and sits down in Derek’s lap. His arms wrap around her waist.
“I saved the best for last, Leoncita. Doesn’t that count for anything?” He nuzzles her neck with his lips and she giggles.
“It’s a good thing I’m such a forgiving person. Otherwise you’d still be trying to win me over.” She leans her forehead on his.
“I think we wasted enough time, don’t you?”
She nods her head and softly presses her lips to his.
My chest tightens with envy as I watch them. I want a relationship like the one they have. I fucking crave it. Unfortunately, the person I love will never feel the same. I could tattoo my entire body with love sonnets I’d personally written inspired by her beauty and she’d still curl her lip up with disgust at me.
Chapter Three
Elle
“Oh my god.” I cover my mouth with my hand at the first sight of Janny in her wedding dress. “You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
She smiles and runs her hand over the ever-growing curve of her stomach. “Thank you, Elle.”
“You can barely tell you’re pregnant,” I say with a wink.
“How did you know what I was wondering?”
“Because you’re my best friend and you’ve never been able to hide anything from me. You look unbelievably gorgeous. Big bad Kyle might faint when he sees you for the first time.” We both giggle at the thought of her macho fiancé passing out at the end of the aisle.
“Nothing’s stopping this wedding,” Janny says with a smile. “I don’t care if I have to prop him up to say his vows. This wedding is happening.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. He’s been trying to convince you to elope for the past two months.”
“Yeah. I think he thought he’d change my mind, but he underestimated how much I wanted all the people we love to be with us,” she says, fastening the diamond earrings which belonged to her mother. They’re her something old. Her grandmother gifted them to Janny’s mother on her eighteenth birthday. When Janny reached the same age, her mother kept the tradition going. The gesture is even more bittersweet because Janny’s parents perished in a fire when she was only eighteen. She was the only survivor that fateful night.
Glancing at my reflection in the full-length mirror as I put on some red lipstick, I study my overall appearance. I’m not unattractive. The attention I get from the opposite sex is proof enough, but the size of my boobs and ass might have more to do with it than my overall appearance.
Sometimes, I envy my best friend. Even with all the tragedy she’s suffered through, she remains unjaded and kindhearted. She’s the nicest person and I wish I could be more like her. She’s beautiful on the inside and outside, and she found a man who recognizes this and loves her for it.
No man’s going to love me for what I am on the inside - dark and dirty. No guy’s going to dig beneath all the murky and tarnished layers to see if anything worth salvaging remains. And even if there was someone who wanted to put in the effort, I wouldn’t let him waste his time. He’d only be disappointed at what he’d find.
Squeezing Janny one final time, I turn forward, resting my hand in the bend of Josh’s arm. My fingers tingle from the simple contact and my heart races.
He glances down at me. “Ready?” he questions. I can’t look at him. If I do, I won’t be able to pull my eyes from his captivating green ones and it’s our turn to walk down the aisle. I can’t be the reason Janny and Kyle’s wedding gets delayed.
“Yes,” I reply. My voice sounds scratchy to my own ears and it’s all because of Josh. I can’t be within five feet of him without turning into a nervous fool. I hide my feelings, alternating between feigned indifference and disgust because I never want him to see how strongly I care for him. He’ll never know how much I wish I could be a different person for him. A better person.
The guitar music being played by a local musician gets drowned out in my head as we begin to slowly walk down the long-carpeted aisle. All my attention is on Josh’s rock-hard bicep underneath my fingers. When his other hand comes to rest on top of mine, I almost misstep, barely catching myself at the last second. The sensation of his warm palm on my skin makes it difficult for me to breathe. The connection we first experienced in Las Vegas, hasn’t lessened at all. The four months without his touch have only made it more powerful. My heart races as I panic. Keeping my focus forward on the end of the aisle, I will myself to remain calm. He can’t know the effect he has on me. No one can. I don’t even want to admit it to myself.
When we part ways in front of the minister and Kyle, Josh trails his fingertips over the back of my hand sending a shiver of longing down my spine. Clenching my teeth together in a tight smile, I pretend nothing’s amiss and remind myself to breathe. My legs are unsteady as I walk the last few steps, stopping in front of Kenna. Staring at my red toenails peeking out of my heels, I avoid looking in Josh’s direction as he heads back down the aisle toward Janny. Seeing how handsome he looks in his tux won’t help the situation any.
The musician sitting in the choir loft, begins to strum the beginning of the song Just Breathe by Pearl Jam. Leave it to Janny and Kyle to forgo tradition and do something different and perf
ectly symbolic of their relationship.
My chest tightens and my eyes well with tears as I watch my best friend being walked down the aisle by Josh. I was aware she’d asked him, but seeing them now it hits me what a perfect choice he is. The fact he’s her ex makes it unorthodox, but they’ve managed to keep their friendship intact despite the demise of their relationship. He’d do anything for her.
Janny’s smile grows larger as each step brings her closer to Kyle. When they reach the end of the aisle, Josh leans down and kisses her cheek. He and Kyle exchange handshakes, then clap each other on the back. My eyes follow Josh’s broad shoulders as he moves to stand behind Derek, the best man. When he takes his place our gazes lock and for a moment I let my guard down. I don’t hide my feelings behind a scowl or a pretend wall of indifference. I care Josh. I care so much, but you deserve so much more.
The exchange of vows is all a blur between the tears of happiness I’m shedding for my best friend and my jumbled thoughts of Josh. In a different world, I could be in Janny’s shoes, vowing to spend my life with the man I love. Unfortunately, I live in reality and in this life, I’m destined for no strings relationships. It’s what I’m used to and what I’m best at.
When it’s time for me to take Josh’s arm for our walk back down the aisle, my stomach wavers with nervous energy. Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for my body's reaction to touching him. My fingers close around his solid bicep and his hand once again covers mine. I fight the urge to crash myself into his chest and hungrily take his lips. Would our kiss be as combustible as the one in Vegas? Merely thinking about it makes my knees weak.
Focusing on Janny and Kyle as they embrace in the vestibule helps me to settle down and I’m able to walk steadily next to Josh as we move forward one step at a time toward the newly married couple.