by Leslie North
Being in the company of these two women had an amazing settling effect on her stomach. Would it last? Claire had no idea. But she let them take her to a table and sit down on either side of her, then flag down a passing waiter for drink refills. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want to be in a family with you?”
Collette breezed past at that moment, chin up and smile on, a hard edge in her gaze. “No reason,” said Stephanie, and they all dissolved into laughter.
9
The ultrasound video arrived on Archer’s phone smack-dab in the middle of a meeting. And it wasn’t just any meeting. He’d flown to China to meet with the Lis on their home turf. Claire had insisted on it. She’d kept on insisting, even as the weeks went by and she neared the middle of her pregnancy. There were plenty of ultrasounds with twins, but this one was the ultrasound. He’d kept his phone on vibrate so he didn’t miss the moment.
But the moment was already gone, wasn’t it? His own heart beat the truth into him as he listened to a story from Mr. Li the younger about his daughter, shook hands, and headed back to his hotel.
Archer had reserved a room in a high-rise overlooking the Pearl River in Guangzhou. He’d had his secretary choose one of the biggest rooms they’d had, on the off chance that he invited the Lis over after a meeting. But that buzz in his pocket had wiped all those thoughts from his mind tonight.
He let the door swing closed behind him and listened for the latch’s click. His heart beat loud in the quiet of the room. It had probably been this quiet in the ultrasound room, too. Claire would have smelled hospital antiseptic and felt the gel on her belly. Would she have reached for his hand, if he’d been there?
Archer had the sudden urge to call the airport, tell them to ready the Preston jet, and go back to the US.
But no. Claire had told him to come.
It was time to watch the video, even if it tore at his heart to think of her filming the screen all by herself, with nobody but the ultrasound tech to keep her company.
He opened the message.
“By the time you watch this, I’ll probably be asleep. :( You know me! But you can call me and leave me a message if you want. I’m so excited!”
She was right—it was three a.m. in California. He knew for a fact that Claire hadn’t sent the video in the middle of the night, which meant she’d sent it earlier and it had taken an unreasonably long time to get to him. Of course it had. He swallowed down an irritation that felt curiously like heartburn, and his hands trembled on the phone. He shook one hand out and pressed his thumb hard against the screen. Play. Play.
Claire’s face popped up into view, dimly lit by the glow of the ultrasound screen.
“Wave,” said a woman’s voice off-screen. “It’s recording.”
Claire gave a tiny wave, wriggling her fingers. “Hi.”
“That’s all you have to say to the father of your children at a moment like this?”
Even the ultrasound tech laughed in the background. Claire grinned. “I’m starting to regret inviting you.”
“You’d never.” Rebecca—that’s who it was. Jealousy welled up in him, pure and strong. Oh, it was a shock, like ice on the back of his neck. He hadn’t known he’d be so jealous. He hadn’t had a clue.
“Good,” he said out loud to his empty hotel room. “I’m glad for her.” I sound like an idiot. He let the video play.
The video—taken with Claire’s phone, probably—panned over her belly. There was the tech’s hand, there was the wand pressing into Claire’s round belly. A hand reached down into the frame and snapped its fingers. “Hey,” Claire said. “I’m up here.”
Rebecca laughed, trying to keep it in, and Archer felt a swell of relief. Claire had been nervous for this appointment. The anatomy scan was a big deal. They might get a chance to see the sex of the babies, if they both cooperated.
Archer didn’t want to think about the other things they could discover during the anatomy scan. Healthy, healthy, healthy, he chanted in his mind. The ultrasound tech was saying something about hearts. Lungs. He heard looking good. He balled his fingers into a fist and tapped it against his knee. Nothing would be certain until they had the radiologist review the ultrasounds, but in all the other scans, that had meant good news. He had never listened so hard for a heavy silence in his life. There were no heavy silences.
Until all the chatter stopped, and Claire shot one last look at the camera and turned her head up toward the screen. He traced the outline of her face with his thumb.
“Would you like to know the sex of your babies?” the tech asked, voice warm and even.
“Yes,” said Claire quickly, and he saw her hand flutter to her chest. “Yes, I would.” Her other hand reached out, and Rebecca took it, jostling the video. Another bolt of jealousy shot through his heart.
“All right,” said the tech.
Archer couldn’t stay seated. His heart beat so hard and fast it was like was on a treadmill at top speed. He paced toward the kitchen of the hotel room, his feet soft on the carpet, and turned the volume on his phone all the way up. The hiss of the air in the room was the loudest sound. The next loudest was Rebecca, breathing near the phone. Underneath it all, he could hear the low beat of the twins’ hearts. The tech had the volume low, and he felt himself straining to hear it.
“This is Baby A...” There was a clicking sound, the tech capturing screenshots. “Baby A is a little girl.”
Claire’s face lit up, her mouth falling open, smile huge. She glanced toward the camera—toward Rebecca. “A girl!” she said softly, wonderingly. “A girl.”
“A girl,” echoed the ultrasound tech. “And here’s Baby B.” There was another series of clicks. Archer held his breath. “Congratulations, Ms. Baldwin, you have a pair of sisters.”
Archer thrust a fist into the air. This was better than scoring the winning touchdown in a football game, which he’d done once as a receiver back in middle school football. This was better than closing a major deal. This was better than anything. Sisters! Girls. His babies were girls. Visions popped into his mind of matching giggles coming from a room down the hall. Ponytails swinging behind running feet. Small faces pressed into his, arms around his neck.
But before all that, they would be babies. Tiny, defenseless babies.
In the video, Claire had her hand to her mouth, her eyes going between the screen and the phone.
“I’m so excited for you!” Rebecca’s voice had gone high-pitched and breathy, and she cleared her throat. “How are you feeling, Claire? Tell all of our viewers.”
“I’m so nervous!” Claire burst out, and all three women laughed. “I’m—twin girls. Twin sisters. I—” She looked at the ultrasound machine again and let out a long breath. “I’ve been worrying lately that I can’t do it all alone. Or—or maybe that I won’t do a good job. I’m sorry, is this bothering you?”
“Not at all, honey. Not at all.” The tech was still clicking around, taking images.
“I’m realizing, though, that...maybe I don’t have to do this all on my own. So I’m feeling excited. And I’m really glad their dad is going to be a part of this.” She gave the camera a grin, and then the video cut off.
Archer sprang into action before his thoughts could catch up with him. I’m really glad their dad is going to be a part of this. Being “part of this” meant being there for his girls. All of his girls. It meant being there in body and mind. He brought up his email and tapped one out as fast as he could to his secretary. Cancel the ice-hiking trip for December, he wrote. Cancel the kayaking. He’d planned all of these trips before Claire, but now—there was no way he could go. Not in good conscience.
Should he cancel the Mt. Fuji climb?
He’d been planning on it ever since they started dealing with the Lis. It was something he wanted to cross off his bucket list, and it would make the most sense to go when he was already on this side of the world.
Archer collapsed into the sofa, skin tingling. This felt like huge news. He had t
o tell someone. But who was he going to call? Not the Lis. He’d already made his excuses so he could come back to watch the video.
Family. It had to be family.
He didn’t want to wake Claire—she was so desperately tired, and he didn’t think his heart could take waiting while the phone rang and clicked over to voicemail. He dialed Charlie instead.
His brother answered on the first ring, voice low. “What happened?”
“Did I wake you?” A pressing guilt took over his lungs, squeezing out his breath. “Sorry if I did, man.”
“I was awake. Everything all right?”
“Why were you awake?” Archer’s nerves ratcheted up another degree. “Is everything okay over there?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Charlie yawned on the other end of the line, and Archer looked out his hotel window at the evening light in Guangzhou. It would be pitch dark in California now. “Jasper had a bad dream. I stopped in my office on the way back to bed, but...” He chuckled. “I can’t remember what I came here for. You sure everything’s fine?”
“We’re having girls,” he said in a rush, the pressure in his mind letting up. There. It was out in the open. “I just found out. Claire had her ultrasound.”
“Congratulations,” Charlie said. “Wow. Twin girls. You’ll have the first granddaughters in the family.”
Archer’s heart knocked against his ribcage, and he sucked in another breath, too deep. “How did you do it?” The frantic pieces in his mind began to fit together. “With Jasper. How did you do it?”
“Do what?” Charlie said, his tone wry. “At first, it was just the birds and the bees. You don’t need me to explain that, do you?”
“No, I mean...how did you slip into fatherhood like you did? How did you do it so easily? And so quickly?”
“Well.” Charlie paused. “It might have looked easy, but it wasn’t a walk in the park. There are still rough patches. Just like everything else.” Charlie knew what he was talking about. He’d been through more in his life than Archer could imagine. “But I knew it was the right thing to do.”
“How? How did you know?”
“Listen, Arch, if you’re looking for a blinking neon sign, you’re looking in the wrong place. Do you love her?”
“It’s not about that,” Archer said quickly. “We agreed—”
“That’s what it was about for me. I love Jasper, and I love Stephanie. We’ve had our ups and downs. But they’re my world. It wasn’t a sacrifice to be with them. It was the only thing that made sense.”
Archer had no words.
“You still there?” said Charlie.
“Twin girls,” Archer said.
“Yeah. It’s going to be amazing.” Charlie yawned again. “You should get some sleep.”
“It’s six o’clock here. You should get some sleep.”
“You don’t have to twist my arm,” said Charlie. “Congratulations again, Archer.”
Archer let his phone fall to the sofa beside him. How could he be the father he wanted to be and still carry on his dad’s legacy? The two things didn’t match up. And he couldn’t keep his lifestyle the way it was. Maybe he’d have his secretary plan some other vacations. Things the girls could do, too. Europe? An African safari?
There was time to figure that out later. For now, he picked up his phone again and opened the video. With a big smile on his face, Archer pressed Play.
10
“Right this way.” Claire led the delivery men down the hall toward the room they’d designated for the nursery, feeling alert and light on her feet for once. It was probably the adrenaline. Ever since the ultrasound, she’d been getting bursts of excitement and energy. Girls. All this work and planning wasn’t just for a baby in the abstract, one she couldn’t quite picture. It was for her girls. Some days, she couldn’t get out of bed. But today the furniture was getting delivered.
Today she was not only out of bed, she was showered and dressed and smiling.
The two delivery men carried the heavy crib box between them. “You must be setting up a nice nursery,” one of them said. “There are three more boxes downstairs.”
“One more crib, a glider, and a bookcase,” said Claire, a warm glow expanding behind her breastbone. “In here, please.”
She opened the door to the nursery, took three steps in, and stopped dead.
It was full.
Not completely full, but too full to set anything up.
The delivery men came in behind her and she stepped to the side and looked around at the clutter. Two matching sets of everything under the sun, including snow gear, metal frame packs, hiking boots with metal grips...
“We’ll just put this right here for the time being.” The delivery crew tilted the first crib box up against the wall in the only available space. “Very adventurous theme you got here. My wife went with elephants,” joked one of them, and Claire gave a halfhearted laugh. She hadn’t been down in the nursery in a couple weeks, not since Archer had hired a crew to paint the walls an eggshell blue. She planned on bright pink accents. There was no space left for accents, much less the cribs.
The delivery guys brought in the other boxes and stacked them up against the first one. Claire put a smile on her face and tipped them for a job well done. Then she went back to her bedroom with a plate of toast. So much for the excited energy. Being frustrated drained her, and yet...
Claire got up several times during the day to go and look at the nursery, but there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t move the boxes to another room by herself. And what other room would she move them to? The fully furnished guest suite? A room downstairs? Not likely. And hiking stuff? For his Japan trip? He’d told her about it more than once, but she’d thought the China trip would be the extent of his travels. One China trip, maybe two. Was he really considering taking on mountain climbing?
She sat down on the bed with a huff, which was immediately interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Honey, I’m home,” said Archer.
“Hi.” Claire pursed her lips and stared out the window.
She felt the energy in the room shift and change. Archer straightened up. “Is everything all right? Did the delivery go okay?”
“Not really,” she said, her throat tight and aching. “The guys came to deliver the boxes, but the nursery is full of stuff. There’s no way to set anything up.”
“I put my hiking stuff in there,” Archer said carefully. “I didn’t know that would be a problem.”
“You didn’t?” Claire stood up and pushed past Archer, heading down the hall at top speed. It was slower than she would have liked. She flung open the door of the nursery and gestured inside. “It’s a problem. Look.”
He came to the door and looked in. “Okay.” He nodded. “That’s more than I remember putting in here, but it’s not the end of the world.”
“I didn’t say it was the end of the world. I said...I meant I was disappointed that there’s no room for the girls’ things in here. I was planning on setting some of it up.”
Archer put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, this is my fault. I should have been more clear—you don’t have to worry about the hiking stuff. It’ll be long gone by the time the girls make their appearance. I promise.”
“Well, I wanted to work on it while I had the chance. I just thought—” Emotions circled her head like an approaching storm, the air brimming with electricity and sharp cracks of thunder. Disappointment pressed in on her chest like a boulder, and as soon as it stole her breath, a lightning strike of anger followed on its heels. Living at the mercy of her feelings was the worst. “I thought I could get started today.”
“With boxes this size, you’ll need some help.” Archer rolled up his sleeves and strode into the room. “Let’s do it right now.”
Frustration still popped and sizzled beneath her skin, and even though Archer was already tearing into one of the boxes, a million sharp retorts gathered on the tip of her tongue. He was the one going on inte
rnational business trips while she stayed here with his staff. He was the one who was planning to go mountain climbing while she was stuck in bed. And he had filled up the room with sporting equipment even though he had to know, on some level, that this was the one thing she had to do.
Didn’t he?
Claire couldn’t quite put a name on the ache that pounded through every one of her heartbeats. It was jealousy, yes. It would be good to feel...good. It would be good not to wonder if she was going to spend all day pinned to the bed, trying not to feel nauseated. A trip to China at this stage would mean a lot of intricate planning for her, even if Archer invited her. She watched him kick the first big box to the side and stack the pieces up in a free area of carpet. Maybe that’s what it was. She still wanted to be invited. Some part of her, deep down, wanted to be by his side on all his trips. To China and wherever else he went.
“Okay.” Archer laughed. “I got ahead of myself. I’m going to have to move some of this out if I’m going to assemble any furniture. Clearly.”
“Yeah,” she grumbled. “I wanted to get started earlier, but...” Claire gestured to all the equipment lining the walls of the room. “I can barely bend over to pick anything up. There was no way.” Her jaw tightened, and she had to make a conscious effort to release it. “I can’t do anything.” Claire’s voice rose, and she couldn’t control it.
Archer, eyebrows furrowed, paused in the middle of the room with a hiking pack slung over his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she said. “I’m not. I was really pissed when the delivery men came and found the room totally filled with your stuff. I thought I’d be able to at least get some of the boxes open, but now—” Hot tears burned at the corners of her eyes. “Now it’s obvious that even that would have been too much.”
He let the pack fall to the floor and came to her. “There’s no shame in it, you know,” he said softly, and the gentle tone cut to her core. “If you’re not feeling up to something, I’m happy to help.”