“I haven’t. I don’t know why I said that.”
He laid a hand on my arm. “The rumors are true, aren’t they?”
Oh fuck. “What rumors?”
“That you and Storm had a thing before you took the job.”
I glared at Denny, and he raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. “You probably think I love to gossip, but I mostly listen. If you need to talk, I swear I would never repeat anything you told me. I haven’t repeated those rumors either. I’ve only heard them.”
I sighed. I didn’t think Denny was going to say anything, but I didn’t like thinking everyone in the household knew. “I’d really hoped that knowledge had stayed with the family.”
“In a household as close as this one, there are very few secrets.”
“Which likely means rumors don’t stay in the family either, so it won’t be any time at all before the lions know about Emerson.”
Denny nodded. “That’s probably true. But we’ll deal with that as it comes. Right now, we can deal with you.”
I bit back a snarl. “I’m just fine.”
“Which is why you’re fidgeting when usually you sit so still I have to check and make sure you’re still breathing?”
I growled. “There’s nothing anyone can do to help. The rumors are true. Before Storm knew I’d be working for his family, we were together briefly, but we’re not now, and we won’t be. Storm is one of my employers. I’m here to keep him safe, and that’s all.”
“But that’s not what either one of you wants.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s part of my contract that I keep my hands off the people I guard.”
Denny frowned. “Have you considered that maybe there’s more here than simple attraction. I’ve seen him watching you, and nothing ruffles you other than talking about him, so—”
“We’re done discussing this.” Denny looked hurt, and I immediately regretted snapping at him. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I don’t want to talk about it anymore because it’s not a possibility. I need to stay focused on my job.”
“If you can’t be with Storm, then get back out there and find somebody else.”
My wolf growled, angry at the thought of me touching anyone but Storm. “I’m better off on my own right now.”
Denny raised his brows. “Are you?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
“I thought you knew by now that I usually do.”
I sighed. “Are you ever serious?”
“I’m serious right now when I say that if you change your mind and you want to talk more, I’m here.”
I really did like Denny. If I was going to confide in someone, he’d be on my list, but I couldn’t even let myself think about being Storm’s mate. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
We stayed quiet for a while, but as much as I tried not to think about Storm, he was the only thing on my mind. I continued to replay the conversation we’d had before he sent me to guard Emerson. I’d told him I would do anything for him, and he’d questioned me because the “anything” he wanted was the one thing I couldn’t do. He wanted me to take him again, to dominate him, to remind him he wasn’t fragile and didn’t always need protection. But while his body could take plenty of damage, and he had every right to choose who he wanted to be with and when, he did need protection against ruthless lion shifters and the other enemies his family had made. He was strong and capable, but against the weapons they would use, he was helpless. I needed to be here to save him, which meant I had to hold back the one thing we both wanted: another night together.
9
Storm
Ever since I’d gone to see Jax the day before, he was all I could think about. It was as if actually talking to him had broken through all the barriers I’d tried to erect. Not that I’d done a good job with walling up my feelings, but now I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. I hadn’t slept the night before. I’d paced my room, then eventually gone out to the woods to run in wolf form. But even as my paws pounded the leaf litter on the forest floor, all I thought about was Jax. I needed him. I couldn’t take this anymore. I wasn’t going to let the rules my brothers had set keep me from him any longer. I would do whatever was necessary to change their minds. There was no reason Jax couldn’t be my Dom and still protect me.
I had work to do at the club until late in the evening. When I got home, I almost went straight to the guesthouse looking for Jax, but I told myself to go to my room first to shower, change, and consider my strategy.
It would be even better if I slept some before I talked to him, but as soon as I got to my room, I went to the window that looked out across the lawn toward the guesthouse. When I let my eyes shift to my lupine, I could make out Jax’s figure standing on the porch.
Need. Want. Go to him, my wolf urged, squirming inside me, wanting to find his way out. If I let him, he’d race to Jax as fast as he could. I seriously considered doing just that. If I visited him in wolf form, he wouldn’t send me away, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted his hands on me as a human, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
Going to him was reckless and foolish, and against his wishes, but there was such a driving need inside me that I couldn’t stop myself. I took the stairs several at a time, then gripped the post at the bottom to whirl myself around so I was headed toward the back door. I nearly crashed into Bryce as he came down the hall.
“Where you going?”
“To do something foolish. And you are not going to stop me.”
“Storm, if you’re going out, take Jax with you. He can call someone else to watch the guesthouse.”
“I promise if I leave, I’ll go with Jax.” That promise was safe to make.
“Storm, are you—”
“Just let me do this. Let me make my own choices.”
“Is this about Jax?”
“Promise you won’t say anything to the rest of them, please.”
Bryce frowned. “I was always the one you trusted with your secrets when we were little.”
“Because Lacey and King were always trying to stop me from doing anything fun.”
“Your idea of fun was also usually dangerous.”
I shoved at his shoulder. “So was yours.”
“That’s why we made good confidants.”
“I’m going to convince Jax that staying apart is making us both miserable, but please don’t tell anyone.”
“Who would I tell anyway? King’s busy trying to convince himself he can stay away from his mate. Garrett’s gone as usual, and Shadow is off playing in the woods. No one is here for me to tell.”
“You could tell them later.”
Bryce shook his head. “As long as you’re not in danger, what you do should be your business. All I want is to keep you safe.”
“I have Jax for that.”
“I’m glad for that. Go on.” He gestured toward the back door. “I won’t tell.”
I raced through the kitchen and burst out of the house.
Need. Now.
I know, I told my wolf. I’m going to get him back for us.
I had to force myself to slow down as I approached the guesthouse, but even so, Jax looked alarmed when he saw me.
“Is something wrong?”
“No, I just needed to see you.”
He frowned. “You could’ve called with anything you needed to say.”
“It’s not so much what I want to say as what I want to do.”
He held up his hands. “Storm, I—”
“Jax, I can’t stop myself anymore. I know why you want to keep your distance, but are you really able to shut down the connection between us? Because I can’t. I tried, but it never really worked, and as soon as I talked to you again, my need for you came back stronger than ever. I think about you all the time.”
Jax looked like he was in pain. “I think about you all the time too, but we can’t be together because at best, King will fire me and prevent me from getting another job in town.
At worst, I’ll have to fight him. I don’t want to hurt your brother.”
He mentioned fighting King so casually. Most people, even the other guards, were terrified of him. “You think you could take him?”
“I know I could.”
No hesitation. “Fuck, that’s hot.”
He frowned at me. “Beating up your brother is not hot.”
“The fact that you’re strong enough to is. My whole life, he’s been my fiercest protector and now—”
“That’s me.”
I took his hand and tugged, trying to lead him away from the house.
“Where are we going? I need to stay here to keep watch over Emerson.”
“We have the perimeter guards to alert us if anything is happening further away, and we’ll hear Emerson if he tries to leave. Has King come to see him?”
Jax sighed. “Yes, and a few minutes after he went inside, he burst through the door like he couldn’t get away fast enough. I heard Emerson crying. He sounded devastated.”
Why was my brother such an idiot? “I guess I should go see if I can talk some sense into him later.”
“He’s in the rose garden. I called one of the other guards, and they found him.”
At least King was still on the property. He often went to the rose garden when he needed to think. When my mother was alive, it was her thinking spot too. King felt close to her there.
I moved closer to Jax and reached up to cup his face. “I know this is complicated, but right now, I just need you to kiss me.”
I thought he’d deny me or at least protest more, but he pulled me to him and kissed me like he was dying and my lips were the only thing that could save him.
I slid my fingers into his hair and sank against him, pressing our bodies together. It felt so right to be in his arms again. I hadn’t even realized how empty I’d been feeling without that buzz of sensation he created in me.
“Need you,” he murmured when he pulled back for air.
“I know.” I sank to my knees, longing to serve him. As I reached for the fastenings of his pants, I almost begged him to order me to suck him off, but I was too afraid he’d refuse. I just started to slide his zipper down when the guesthouse door creaked.
Fuck. I scrambled to my feet, almost tumbling over in my haste. The second Jax had his pants buttoned, he rushed toward the front of the house.
“Did you need something, Emerson?” I’d moved close enough to hear him easily, but stayed out of sight.
“I need to find King.”
“It’s better for you to stay here.”
Emerson made a frustrated sound. If he’d been a wolf, it would have been a growl. “Let me be more clear. I am going to find King.”
I smoothed down my ruffled clothes and stepped out from my hiding place. “King is in the rose garden. That’s where he goes when he needs to think.”
Emerson glanced around and then looked back at me. “Which way should I go?”
“Follow that path.” I pointed in the right direction. “It ends at the garden.”
He laid a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you.”
I could tell how badly he was hurting, and I knew my brother was at least as bad off. “He needs you.”
“I know.” Most men would run from King. Emerson clearly belonged with him, like I belonged with Jax.
Emerson turned to look at Jax. “Are you going to follow me?”
Hell no. “He’s going to stay right here with me. I sent another guard to keep an eye on King. I’ll let him know you’re on your way.”
As soon as Emerson was gone, Jax turned to me. I could feel anger rolling off him. “Why didn’t you stay hidden?”
“Because my stubborn brother needs him, and I wanted to encourage him because…”
He scowled at me. “Because why?”
Why did Emerson have to choose that moment to come out? If I’d been able to remind Jax of how powerful an orgasm I could give him, he wouldn’t be protesting now. “Emerson leaving gives us more time together.”
Jax started to speak, but I cut him off. “You can’t deny what’s between us.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“Then—”
“I’m working for your family. I can’t—”
“Then don’t. Let me.”
He growled. “You told me I was in control.”
“I want you to be, but—”
“You only want me to be when I listen to you.”
I looked up at him through my lashes. “Are you saying I’m a bad boy?”
“Storm.” His voice was low and gravelly, but he didn’t sound angry. He sounded like he enjoyed my teasing. A lot.
“You could always punish me.”
He snarled. “I’ll punish you for real, and you won’t like it.”
“I’ll like anything you do to me.”
“Storm, please. I can’t risk having to leave here, to leave you.”
“But you’re not with me.”
“I’m protecting you. Keeping you safe matters more than anything.”
“You can do both, fuck me and care for me.”
A growl rumbled in his chest. I was pushing harder than I should, but I needed him too badly to stop.
“Your brothers made it clear I can’t have any kind of relationship with someone I’m protecting.”
“I can talk to them.”
“No. I won’t have you risk that.”
“Then we’ll keep it secret.”
He sighed. “Are you this exhausting when you argue with them?”
“I’m worse.”
Before he could respond, my phone buzzed. Considering everything that was currently going on with the family, I couldn’t ignore it. When I pulled it from my pants and saw the name on the screen, I groaned.
“What is it?” Jax was all business again, ready to leap into action. I thought again about how he’d so casually asserted that he could defeat King. He really would do anything for me. My brothers would never have to worry about my safety if Jax and I were mated. If only I could make him see how strong our connection was. If only we really were fated mates, but that had just been a delusion, hadn’t it? I’d just been lust-crazed and overly hopeful when we’d been together before.
“It’s Trent, the bear shifter who manages Shifting Sophistication, our escort service. He’s been trying to get me to go out with him for ages, and I finally agreed.”
Jax’s eyes shifted, and he fisted his hands at his sides. “You did what?”
Ooh. I liked this jealousy. “Something’s going on there. Things don’t add up right in the books, and Trent keeps pushing to make changes, ones my brothers and I will never approve. King and Garrett have been too busy to make it a priority, and they don’t want me looking into it, but Trent has wanted me for ages, so I’m going to use that to my advantage.”
Jax looked ready to explode. “No, you’re not.”
“So I’m only strong and capable when I’m in bed?”
He gave a low growl. “You know I don’t think that, but if this guy—”
“You’ll be there to see that nothing happens.”
I could see him warring with his instinct to forbid it and his desire to let me have the freedom I wanted. “If he even thinks about touching you, I’ll rip him apart.”
I smiled. “I know, but we have to be careful. The only reason we haven’t fired him is because we can’t risk losing our alliance with the bears. Their leader, Bernice, is his aunt.”
“I don’t want you going out with anyone, but if this man is—”
“So you won’t go out with me, but I can’t go out with anyone else. Is that how this works?”
He growled. “You’re mine.”
“Then take me.”
“Storm.”
I could feel his need. He was so close to giving in. “Take me tonight, and then I won’t ask for anything else until this current crisis with the lions is passed.”
“Will you actually let me control things?”
“Tonight?”
“Always.”
“In bed, yes. But not otherwise. I tried to let you be in charge, but… I can’t do that. I can’t fully submit like that.”
He stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I don’t need that. I don’t want you to just agree to things because I tell you to. I love your willingness to go after what you want.”
“Even if that’s you?”
“Yes.”
“Then take charge of me tonight.”
“We should just wait. Anyone could find us out here. King and Emerson could come back anytime.”
“If I know my brother, it will be a while before they do, and he may carry Emerson off to the main house. He’s got it as bad for Emerson as you have it for me.”
Jax lifted a brow. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
10
Jax
I must have lost my mind to be considering this. If someone caught us, I would lose everything—the chance to protect Storm, the chance to be near him. I hadn’t denied myself for months just to fuck things up now. But Storm smelled so good, and my body vibrated with need for him.
I was close to losing control of my wolf. He wasn’t going to let me send Storm away, and the thought of doing so sent pain through me. The longer I denied myself, the worse I felt. I was hardly sleeping, and Mara, the Howlers’ amazing cook, had been offended by how little I’d been eating for the last few weeks.
My need for Storm wasn’t normal. It wasn’t just about him being gorgeous and eager and able to take whatever I wanted to give.
Mate, my wolf insisted. Our mate.
I hadn’t wanted it to be true because of our situation. But if I were honest with myself, I’d known from the beginning my wolf was right. Why else would I have felt so compelled to stay close to Storm even when I couldn’t be with him?
“Storm?”
“Yes?” He looked nervous. Did he think I’d changed my mind?
“I think… I think we might be…”
“Mates?”
“You feel it too?”
His smile made my heart skip a beat. “Yes. I have from the start.”
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