I tensed, waiting for him to yell at me, but he kept his voice low and steady, which was almost worse. “Why, Storm? Why did you come here without me?”
“Because…” You wouldn’t come with me. “Was that natcylid you used on him?”
“Yes.” Natcylid prevented shifters from taking their animal form, and it also caused nerve pain and knocked them out at high enough doses.
“Where did you get it?” I knew he wouldn’t let me get away with distracting him for long.
“I have my sources, and I only use it in emergencies. Like when I have to rescue my mate after he does something incredibly stupid.”
The tears I’d been fighting started to roll down my cheeks. Forget trying to explain or justify. I just wanted him to forgive me. “I’m so sorry. I was… I was wrong. I shouldn’t have gone by myself. I didn’t even… I saw Trent, but I can’t prove…” My breath hitched, and I couldn’t seem to fill my lungs anymore. Tears streamed down my face as Jax pulled me to him and held me tight against his chest.
“I’m so glad I was there. Seeing you in danger like that… It nearly killed me.”
“You were amazing,” I forced the words out between sobs. “How did you even know I was here?”
“After we said good night and you went upstairs, I waited near your car.”
I frowned at him. “You knew I was going to do this, even after I said…” I trailed off as he raised his brows.
“I felt your agitation. I know we’re not bonded yet, but—”
“I know. I can feel things from you too.”
“And you’re stubborn, Storm, as much as any of your brothers. You’d decided this was the right thing to do, so you did it. I should have made you promise me. That might have swayed you, because I know you take giving your word very seriously, but even then, I would have waited for you in case.”
“Thank you. I know that’s not enough to say, but —”
“It’s enough for now.” He kissed the top of my head and held me until I was all cried out. When I sat back, he brushed the tears from my eyes.
“Can you f-forgive me? I… I know I’m—”
“Yes, I forgive you. You’re my mate, and you are strong and capable, but you were reckless tonight. You put yourself in danger and scared me and yourself. If I hadn’t been here—”
“I would probably be dead.”
Pain flashed in Jax’s eyes. “That’s… I can’t even handle thinking about that.”
“But you were here. You saved me.”
“If you’d listened to me to start with…”
“I know. I want my brothers to treat me like I’m actually a responsible adult all the time, not just when it’s convenient to them. I wanted to prove that I could take care of this on my own, but I guess I’m just a fucking reckless kid after all.”
“No.” Jax gripped my chin and forced me to look at him. “You made a bad decision. I’m sure your brothers would have done the same.”
I considered the number of times my older brothers had walked into danger, sometimes with good reason, sometimes—especially when they were younger—just because they could.
“They have, but I knew you’d be angry, and I did it anyway, and now I need…”
“What do you need?” He tightened his grip on me as he held my gaze. His expression hardened, and I drew in a shaky breath.
“I need to be punished.”
He gave a stiff nod. “You’re right. You do. You need to be punished hard enough that you won’t forget how wrong it was to risk yourself like this.”
It would feel so good to surrender to him, to let him care for me in a way that would relieve the tension between us. “I was wrong. I hurt you, but not in a good way, not the way you hurt me.”
“When I get you alone, I’m going to push you right to your limits because you need that, and I do too. I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean things are settled between us.”
They weren’t, but a rough, harsh punishment would bring absolution and so fucking much pleasure. “Please. I need you to go hard on me. I want to submit to you, to let you be in control, but I also want to be independent. I feel so mixed up. Sometimes I think I’m not docile enough to be a sub, but I crave someone telling me what to do when—”
“Baby, I’m a control freak. I want everything to go the way I plan it, but life doesn’t work like that. I don’t need you to obey me all the time. I just need you not to take crazy risks and to let me help you.”
Did he mean that? I hadn’t thought I’d ever find a man who could except that push/pull of independence and surrender. “Right now, I need you to make me pay for what I did tonight and to help me figure out how to be strong without being an idiot.”
“You already know how to do that. You were just too stubborn tonight to remember it. You’ve been pushing back against your brothers for too long, and then I told you no, and you—”
“Should have listened.” I should always listen to this man. He knew exactly what I needed.
“Yes, you should have, and your ass is going to pay for that.”
“I love you, Jax.” The words tumbled out before I had a chance to stop them.
His eyes widened, and for a second, I thought I’d made a huge mistake. Then he smiled and cupped my face. “I love you too. You know that right?”
“Yes,” I said softly as he brushed his lips across mine in a barely there kiss. It warmed me, but I needed so much more.
“Take me to Tooth and Claw. It’s closed tonight, and we can use one of the rooms. You’ll have access to anything you want to use on me.”
He raised a brow. “Anything?”
“I trust you.” And I did. Completely.
“You know you can stop me any time. Your safeword applies even when I’m punishing you.”
Tears pricked my eyes again. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the world, Storm, and you also deserve a sore and aching ass.”
I grinned. “Yes, I do.”
Jax pulled out of our parking spot and headed toward the club. As I lay back against the seat and watched him, desire began to overtake the swirl of emotions inside me. It had been months since we’d been able to take our time with each other, and I thought we’d have to wait longer, but neither of us could. We needed this.
He glanced over at me. “You look happy.”
“I am. I’m thinking about how much I want this.”
“You may change your mind when I’m making you suffer.”
“No, because you’ll be caring for me. I thought I might lose you after what I did tonight.”
“We’re mates, Storm. There’s nothing you could do to make me walk away from you.”
“But if you didn’t want me. If—”
“I want you. The mate bond brought us together, but I don’t just want you because fate told me to, and you behaving like a stubborn idiot isn’t going to change that.”
I reached for his hand, and he laced our fingers together as he pulled into the parking lot of Tooth and Claw. “Will your brothers find out we were here?”
“The security camera will pick us up going in, but I doubt they’ll look at the footage. We don’t usually review it unless there’s a reason. There are a few security guards here though.”
“Already noted.”
I hadn’t even seen them. How did he do that? “They might mention that I was here, but I can say I’d left something or whatever. I can turn off the cameras near the VIP rooms. I’ll take care of it. Just trust me.”
“I do.”
Those words made my breath catch. “You still do? After I fucked up tonight?”
“I might even trust you more, because I don’t think you’ll do something that crazy again.”
“I won’t run off without you again. I swear. Next time we’ll go after Trent together with better planning.”
As we got out of the car, I could feel Jax’s need like I had the night he’d taken me in the woods. His wolf was right at the surface.
What would happen if he let his animal instincts take over? I wanted to find out.
I squeezed his hand when he reached for the door handle. “I can take whatever you want to give me tonight. I feel how tightly coiled you are, how you need to let go.”
“I can’t do that. I could go too far.”
“You can with me. I’m your mate, and you’d never truly hurt me.”
14
Jax
Storm let us into the employees’ entrance, and I followed him from there to the security office. While he turned off some of the cameras, I stayed in the hallway, listening carefully for sounds of anyone moving around inside. I knew there were guards on duty outside who should have seen anyone forcing their way in, but I needed to be sure we were alone and safe because once I got started with Storm’s punishment, I wasn’t going to be as aware of our surroundings as usual. When Storm finished up, I told him to go on upstairs while I did a walk-through.
“We’ve had security here all day. I’m sure it’s—”
“I told you to go upstairs. I want you naked and kneeling when I get there. It’s my job to keep you safe tonight, and I’m going to do it my way.”
Storm looked down at the floor and took a shaky breath. “Yes, Sir.”
“Better.”
I knew I was being overprotective, but after what had happened earlier, I didn’t feel like I could be too careful. I headed upstairs once I’d satisfied myself that the lower floor of the club was clear. I checked the public areas upstairs, then each of the offices, and the private rooms other than the one Storm had chosen.
Before I opened the door to the room where Storm waited for me, I took a slow, steadying breath and tried to let all the anger and hurt I’d felt earlier melt away. Storm had made a mistake, a serious one, but I forgave him. I wasn’t punishing him because I was angry, but because it was what we both needed.
When I stepped into the room, all I could do was stand there and stare at him. He was naked like I’d told him to be, and he was on his knees in the middle of the room on the cold tile floor. His curls were askew like he’d run his hands through them before he’d settled. His hands were behind his back, one clasping the wrist of the other arm. He was a perfect picture of submission, but I could feel the energy vibrating in him. His wolf was ready to struggle with me, to challenge me. And I loved that. I didn’t want someone docile.
“Look at me, Storm.”
He looked up as I closed the door behind me and locked it. His eyes had darkened with lust, but there was concern there as well.
“You’re exactly what I want. I’m punishing you for what you did, not for who you are. I will never punish you for that.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at me before looking down again.
“Wait there. I know it’s hard for you to be patient, but that’s what I expect of you now. I know what I want to do to you, but I need to see what’s available in this room. I’ve been taking some lessons on how to use certain implements you might enjoy.” Even when I’d been telling myself I couldn’t be with him, I’d read up on more ways we could play together, and asked one of the Doms at Tooth and Claw to show me some techniques.
Storm’s breath hitched, and I couldn’t resist glancing over at him. He was watching me now. “If you need —”
“I didn’t ask you to speak. Now that we’re here in this room, I’m in charge. You don’t move or even speak without my permission.”
“Fuck, that’s hot.”
I growled. “Are you asking for even more punishment?”
“No, Sir.” He looked down, but there was no real sign of contrition in him—not that I’d expected any.
I opened the cabinet and looked at the options for restraints and impact toys. I saw everything I’d need, but for the moment, I only picked up a set of cuffs before walking over to Storm and kneeling behind him.
“I know you could break out of these, but you won’t, will you?” For shifters, restraints were mostly symbolic, since our strength and ability to change shape allowed us to get out of most bondage. There were cuffs we couldn’t break. They were illegal, but I had some, and I hoped we’d try them out eventually.
“I’ll be good for you. I promise,” Storm said.
“If only I’d made you promise that earlier.”
“But then we wouldn’t be here. We’d both be lying in our beds, wishing we were together.”
I growled. “Are you saying—”
“I’m just telling the truth.”
“No more talking.” I fitted the cuffs around his wrists and clipped them together. Later, I’d use them to attach his hands to the headboard, but for now he was perfect like this, on his knees, hands behind his back. “Someday, I want to use xekrum cuffs on you, so you have no way to escape. I want that level of control. I want to know you’re utterly mine, to torment, to pleasure, to fuck.”
“I am yours. Do you have—”
“Yes, but we’re not using them today.” He opened his mouth again, likely to protest. “No more questions.” I loved how Storm could take the harshest spanking I’d ever delivered and ask for more, but asking him to stay silent was way too much for him.
I rose and walked around until I was standing in front of him. “Look at me.” He did, eyes filled with need. “The first night we were together, you told me you liked to be used, made to exist just for pleasure.”
Storm’s eyes widened. He started to speak but stopped himself. “That was good, baby. I saw your restraint. Do you want that tonight?”
“Yes. Please.”
“I need to take the edge off so I can concentrate on your punishment, so I’m going to use your mouth to get myself off.” I undid my pants and pulled my cock out before taking hold of his chin. “Open up.”
He did, and I wrapped a hand around my cock while sliding the other into his soft curls. “I expect you to stay still and let me fuck you.”
He groaned as I pushed into him. At first, I restricted myself to shallow thrusts, barely moving into his throat. He swallowed around me, giving no sign of struggle, so I pushed deeper. It took him a moment to adjust, but soon he was taking me easily. “Still an eager little slut, aren’t you?”
He moaned around my cock. “That’s right. You’re dying to choke on my cock.”
He looked up at me, eyes pleading. I could tell he wanted more, so I thrust all the way in and gripped the back of his head, pressing his face against my pubic bone. He held himself so still, and I marveled at how obedient he could be when he chose to. When he started to sputter around me, I let him go. As he sucked in air, he looked up at me with watery eyes and a huge smile.
“You like being used like that, don’t you?”
“Yes.” He gasped, voice raspy.
“Then open up. I’m going to come down your throat, and you’re going to swallow every drop.”
“Yes, Sir, please.”
“So eager. You need to come too, don’t you?” He tried to answer, but I pushed my cock into him before he could. I wasn’t gentle this time. I drove into his mouth, fucking him like he existed solely to get me off.
He took it beautifully. The only time he struggled was when he’d gone too long without air. He was so fucking good.
Mate. Claim, my wolf insisted. I assured him I would when the time was right. For now, we would punish and pleasure our mate. I took a deep breath, soaking in the scent of his desire. I could sense how much he needed this through our bond.
“I’m going to come now, Storm. Take it for me like a good boy. I know you can.” He struggled to free his hands, but I didn’t think he wanted to fight me. He wanted to touch, to anchor himself.
“Don’t come,” I reminded him just before I spilled down his throat.
He swallowed around me over and over, the tight heat of his throat seeming to make my orgasm go on forever. When I was completely drained, I let my cock slip from Storm’s mouth. He was off balance without his hands to steady himself, and he swayed as he sucked in air. I gripped his shoul
ders, helping him stay upright.
“You gave me exactly what I needed, baby. I’m going to unhook your cuffs now, and I want you to get on the bed on your hands and knees, ass up, arms stretched toward the headboard.”
“Yes, Sir.” His voice was small and shaky, so I brushed a hand over his cheek. “Storm, look at me. Are you okay?”
He gave me a blissed-out smile. “Soooo okay.”
“Then do as I said.”
I helped him stand, and he walked to the bed on wobbly legs. As he positioned himself, I cleaned up and tucked my cock back into my pants. I liked the idea of him being naked while I was fully dressed. It would make him feel more like I was using him for my pleasure. It would also make me less likely to give in to temptation to fuck him or cover him in cum before I was done with his punishment.
I moved to the side of the bed where he could see me, undid my belt, and yanked it from my pants. Storm’s eyes widened. “Are you—”
“No questions.” He shivered as he laid his head back on the pillow he’d tucked under himself. He was so gorgeous like that, with his ass in the air, all vulnerable and open to me.
“Don’t move.” I returned to the cabinet and removed the length of chain I wanted to use. While I was there, I also picked up a crop and a short whip with a forked end like a snake’s tongue. The whip would hurt. A lot. I’d practiced using it with the Dom who was giving me lessons. He’d insisted I needed to experience any implement I intended to use, so I’d allowed him to give me a few strokes with it. They’d burned like fire, and even with my fast healing ability, I’d had marks the next day. I wouldn’t use the whip until Storm was deep in subspace and primed for the worst of his punishment.
The last things I chose from the cabinet were more cuffs for his ankles, a cock ring, and a container of lube. I laid the things I’d collected on a bench conveniently placed next to the bed. Then I attached one end of the chain to a ring bolt in the headboard and the other to Storm’s wrist cuffs, making sure it was short enough that he couldn’t pull his arms under him.
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