“I don’t want you worrying about things like that. You’re here to relax.”
“I’m here to help.” Jordyn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And if I’m needed, I’ll stay.”
Again, Mrs. Dunaway seemed to jolt with surprise. “Stay? You mean for longer than a week?”
“I mean, stay...as in stay. I’m at the end of my contract and I haven’t extended it...yet.”
“But you plan to extend it, right?”
Jordyn’s mind spun as she tried to come up with a feasible answer. She’d spent ten years in service to her country. Was that enough? Was there a new chapter waiting for her here now? If she stayed, would it cause Chad to leave? Would he be stubborn and inflexible...run away from the memories? It was like a dream come true to have found that he was back at the ranch, and yet they were still as distant as two people could be. If only they could pick up where they’d left off...go back to the way it used to be.
But some things just weren’t meant to be, she reasoned with herself. Even good ’ol St. Nick himself would have a hard time fulfilling that Christmas wish.
“I don’t know.” Jordyn sat down in a chair beside the desk. “I came here to think about it and pray. I’m hoping to get some guidance.”
Mrs. Dunaway leaned forward and squeezed her arm. “Honey, I’d love to have you stay... but I don’t want you to feel obligated. I’m doing fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jordyn leaned forward to look her mother in the eyes. “I want to be where I’m supposed to be...wherever that is. I know it’s hard for everyone to understand, but I’ve been following a calling the last ten years. It was what I was supposed to be doing...”
“But now?”
Jordyn shifted her gaze to the framed picture of her father on the far wall. “Now, I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something else.” She stared hard at the enlarged photograph, and could almost hear her dad’s bellowing laughter coming from the wall. Jordyn couldn’t remember ever seeing him sad or in a bad mood. He was like a force of nature, with an enthusiasm and passion for life that was unmatched by anyone else she’d ever met.
She exhaled loudly. “I’m really confused, Mom.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place to figure it out. I’m really glad you’re here.”
Jordyn noticed that her mother casually pulled some other papers over the one she’d been reading as she talked.
“What were you looking at just now?”
“Oh, nothing.” Mrs. Dunaway put her hand flat down on the stack of papers. “Just some boring business correspondence.”
“Mind if I take a look?”
Her mother stiffened and sat awkwardly still as an uncomfortable silence fell upon the room.
“It’s just a letter that I got...”
“About?”
Mrs. Dunaway swallowed hard. “It’s really nothing.”
“You know I’m not leaving until I see it.” Jordyn crossed her arms.
A slight smile flickered on her mother’s lips. “Stubborn. Just like your father.” Slowly she moved her hand from the top of the desk, allowing Jordyn to slide the piece of paper from the stack.
After reading just the first sentence, Jordyn stopped and lifted her eyes. “You’re not considering this, right?” The paper in her hand began to shake.
“I-I’m not sure. Keeping this place together is a lot of work, honey. And I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“But it was dad’s dream.” She stared at her mother, stunned that she hadn’t just thrown the piece of paper into the trash. “It’s become everything he wanted and more.”
“The truth is, we have good years and bad years,” Mrs. Dunaway said, her voice growing a little louder. “What they are willing to pay to buy it would—”
“But you can’t!”
Her mother stood and grabbed the document out of her hand. “You don’t have any right to tell me what I can’t do when you haven’t been here for the past ten years to help. This place is a lot of hard work. I’m tired.”
Jordyn’s anger and dismay were instantly replaced by regret. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She stood and drew her mother up into her arms. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems that I’ve been blind to what’s going on here.”
“No, honey. I’m sorry I let you see it.” Her mother took a deep breath as her composure returned. “I don’t want you to worry about such things. You’re here to enjoy the holiday.”
Jordyn took a step back and squeezed her temples to help her think. She was accustomed to making split-second decisions and handling unpredictable problems, but this one hit her in the gut.
“Can you just put it aside for a while until things settle down here? I mean, it’s Christmas for goodness sake, the busiest time of the year. I’m sure you’re at your wit’s end with preparing for the Gala.”
Mrs. Dunaway shook her head. “I’d love to.” She picked up the paper and pointed. “The offer only stands until December 26.”
Jordyn took a step back and lowered herself into the chair behind her.
“Since you want to know what’s going on, I’ll be straight with you, Jordyn.” Her mother pulled a folder out of a drawer. “Those cabins by the river really set me back. The cost was almost double the estimate I was given by the foreman. It’s going to take a few years to break even. And that’s if nothing else goes wrong.”
“What do you mean by nothing else?”
“You know, things happen...” She stared at the wall absently. “Seems like a lot of things lately, all at once. We’ve had problems with the hired help lately, and matters that I think are being taken care of, aren’t. It’s just too much for one person to do.”
“How can we be short-handed and have trouble with hired help?” Jordyn asked. “People love working here. Some of them say they love it so much, they’d work for free.”
“I don’t know.” Mrs. Dunaway brushed away a tendril of hair that had escaped from her bun. “Judd keeps telling me we have a full roster, and then says we’re short-handed. I have no idea what’s going on, and I just don’t have time to deal with the barn work when I’m busy with the house and the guests. Now that Chad’s here, it’s gotten a little easier, but...” Her gaze fell to her hands that were clenched in her lap. “I miss your father so much.”
The conversation with Chad about the man named Judd crept back into Jordyn’s mind, which suddenly came alive with a torrent of racing thoughts. “Those cabins by the river that you said cost more than the estimate. Who gave you the estimate?”
“Judd, the foreman, of course. I mean that’s why I hired him, to take care of details like that. What do I know about building cabins?” She shook her head. “If only Chad had come back earlier, I know things would have been different. I can trust him with anything.”
Jordyn leaned forward and looked her mother straight in the eyes. “Why don’t you fire the foreman and give the position to Chad? Or let me do it if you don’t want to be part of any dispute.”
Mrs. Dunaway took a gasping breath that sounded almost like a sob. “Because I signed an agreement with him...I didn’t think it was any big deal at the time, but that coupled with Montana’s law makes it really hard.”
“Give it to me.” Jordyn only grew more determined. “I’ll give it to a lawyer and find out how to get out of it.”
“Don’t you think I’ve already done that?” Mrs. Dunaway put her face in her hands. “I’m such a fool. Your father would be so disappointed in me.”
“No, he wouldn’t. Because you’re not a fool.” Jordyn pulled her mother to her feet again and threw her arms around her. “Here’s what we’re going to do.” Her voice carried a tone of confidence and conviction that she didn’t really feel, but her mother seemed to gain comfort from it. She looked up at Jordyn with big, hopeful eyes.
“Number one, you’re not going to worry or think about this for another minute. I’m home now and I’ll take care of it.” Jordyn didn’t wait for her mother
to respond. “And number two, you’re going to go out there and have fun and enjoy the holiday like Dad always did. Deal?”
“But how—”
“I’m going to shoulder some responsibility, and take care of it. You have to promise we have a deal.”
Her mother’s tired eyes looked only slightly reassured, but she nodded her head enthusiastically enough. “Deal.”
Chapter 11
Remember this December, that loves weighs more than gold.
– Josephine Daskam Bacon
They were just turning to leave the room when Chad appeared, knocking twice on the wooden doorjamb to announce his presence.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
“That’s all right. We were just heading to the kitchen.” Jordyn could tell by the look in his face that he wasn’t there to socialize. “What’s up?”
“One of the horses from the ride this morning is colicky. I could use some help...”
Jordyn started walking out of the room before he’d even finished his sentence. She grabbed an old coat and a pair of rubber barn boots as they passed by the mudroom and hopped across the floor as she pulled the over-sized boots on without stopping.
“That’s what you’re wearing to the barn?” Chad looked her up and down incredulously. She wasn’t sure if he was referring to her dress or the fact that she’d just put boots on overtop three-inch heels. “And this.” She stuck her arms through a knee-length coat and buttoned it up to protect her dress, but tottered a bit in the uncomfortable and unnatural combination of heels and boots. “Let’s go.”
When Chad opened the door for her and stood to the side to let her pass, she noticed the bandage on his hand.
“You’re hurt. What happened?” She took his hand and examined the bandage that was thick with gauze but still showed signs of blood seeping through.
He jerked it away before she could get a good look and closed the door behind them. “Just a little cut. It’s fine.”
The sting of the cold winter air hit Jordyn as soon as she exited the house, jolting her thoughts away from Chad. Temperatures had dropped considerably since their ride this morning, making her thankful for the beautiful weather they’d had. She pulled the coat more tightly around her. This was more like the Montana winters she remembered, when snow would blanket the landscape, turning the expansive terrain into a pristine vista of snowcapped peaks and vast plains of white. Guests who witnessed the winter wonderland at the ranch would never forget it.
Chad nodded toward the small barn to her right and they walked in silence down a stone pathway. She only had to reach out for the support of his strong arm once when her left heel went a little sideways, but she quickly righted herself and then withdrew her grasp. She didn’t see Chad’s reaction, but she had no doubt he’d rolled his eyes at the choice of her footwear.
Stepping ahead of her when they arrived, Chad slid the door open for them to enter. Jordyn saw him wince at the pain the action caused but she didn’t bother to comment on it. He wouldn’t tell her anything about his injury, so why should she bother?
“It’s Bell. She’s in the last stall on the right,” he said, while closing the door.
Jordyn paused and looked back. “I remember her. She’s the pretty bay mare.”
When she entered the stall, Jordyn saw that the horse was sweaty and stomping her feet to show her discomfort. “Hey, girl. Not feeling good so close to Christmas?” She lifted Bell’s lip and pressed a finger against her gums, then bent down and checked her pulse near her hoof.
When she straightened back up, Chad was handing her a stethoscope through the open door. “What do you think?”
Jordyn stared at the stethoscope as a whirlwind of images swirled through her mind. This stethoscope had belonged to her father. The large silver disc made it unmistakable. A long time ago, when she was just a freckle-faced kid, he’d taught her everything he’d known about treating horses. And when she was a young teen, she’d thought she wanted to be a veterinarian and had spent the summer going on calls with the local vet.
Taking the instrument, she moved to the horse’s left side and listened for any signs of rumblings from her digestive tract. Then she moved to the other side and did the same thing. “Not hearing much here.”
“I didn’t either,” Chad said. “I was going to go ahead and start an IV, but...” He held up his bandaged hand. “It’s a little awkward.”
“You going to tell me what you did?”
He shook his head. “It was stupid. One of the horses got loose and I grabbed the rope as he ran by. It had a metal piece on the end of it that sliced my finger open. No big deal.”
“How’d the horse get loose?”
“I don’t know the answer to that one. I tied him up myself.”
“Any chance the guy with the checkered bandana was hanging around?”
Chad looked at her as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him. “I’m not sure. I didn’t see him if he was.”
Jordyn turned her attention back to the horse. “Well, it’s been a while, but I guess I can still do this. Starting an IV on a horse is a lot easier than doing one on a human.”
Chad didn’t hesitate a beat, as if he’d been waiting for just such an opening. “And you’ve had experience with both?”
Jordyn almost fell into the trap but stopped herself before she nodded. Instead she looked back at Chad with a confused look on her face that was only partially feigned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, I guess it’s just another skill you picked up as a photographer,” he said, with his head tilted to the side skeptically. “It kind of goes along with knowing how to stay calm and stop the blood flow when someone slices their arm wide open on a fence post.”
Jordyn turned away so he couldn’t see her face and slid her hand over the horse’s back. “You called the vet already, right?” She tried to change the subject, hoping he wouldn’t press her on the topic anymore. She wasn’t sure she could find it within herself to lie to him. “We can start fluids as a precaution, but she needs to be examined.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You didn’t answer mine either.” Jordyn continued to pretend she was busy checking the horse so she could avoid Chad’s eyes. He knew her better than anyone else in the world. He’d catch any hesitation, any sign, or any trace of anxiety. Heck, he could probably already see how strongly her heart was beating in her chest, and sense her discomfort. “Is the vet on his way?”
“I asked mine first.” He spoke in a firm, unwavering tone as he handed her a pair of sealed gloves. Jordyn didn’t need to look at his face to know that it reflected the determination and resolve of someone accustomed to being in charge...of being respected and deferred to. It made her doubt her own ability to continue to keep up the charade that she wasn’t still in love with him.
As she opened the gloves and slid them on, Jordyn could feel a flush of heat rising to her face, and wished she had removed the coat before starting the procedure. She tried to appear unflustered as Chad handed her some alcohol swabs and then the catheter, but she could feel his eyes on her, making her shaky and insecure.
Holding the vein off with one hand, she slid the needle into the mare’s neck so smoothly the horse never moved. She watched the tubing turn red before attaching the bag of fluids Chad had hung in the stall and then opened the valve and made sure everything was flowing properly.
“I asked mine first,” he said again as he calmly handed her a roll of tape. Then he leaned his shoulder into the doorway and crossed his arms, making it clear he intended to hear an answer.
Jordyn wrapped the horse’s neck to keep the catheter in place, stalling for time as she tried to come up with a reasonable answer. “Look, this horse is sick. I don’t really have time to bicker with you about this right now.”
“I’m not bickering. I just asked a question.”
Jordyn met his gaze for the first time and stared for a few long seconds into his blue eyes. His impla
cable expression was unnerving, but she willed herself to be strong.
“Don’t ask me things I can’t talk about. Okay?” She pulled the gloves off with a loud snap that she hoped signified the end of the conversation.
“Things you can’t talk about...let’s see, there’s a list isn’t there?” He pretended to pull a tablet of his pocket and held it in front of his eyes. “Being able to shoot a head off a rattlesnake from horseback at twenty yards? There’s one for you. And we can add being able to start an IV after supposedly not touching one for more than ten years. That’s pretty amazing, Jordyn. What other skills do you have that no one knows about?”
His tone was full of anger...disappointment...pain—and it caused Jordyn’s heart to splinter and break. Why did he have to make this even harder than it already was?
She sidestepped him and headed toward the door—a tremendous effort on her part as she fought the impulse to throw herself into his arms and tell him everything. But what would be the use? Yes she regretted leaving him, and would do anything to change certain decisions. But it was over. Done. There was nothing she could do about it now. Ten long years stood between them. A full decade of not seeing each other—or even conversing. And the heartache of separation hadn’t ended because they were now together—it had only gotten worse.
“Hold up.” The voice was low and serious, causing Jordyn to stop in her tracks. “I have another question for you, Jordyn.”
Jordyn stopped walking but didn’t turn around. The grave and serious tone of his voice caused her heart to pound, drowning out the sound of his boots as he approached.
“This afternoon, when Adam fell onto the fence, you asked me if I had my medic bag.”
Jordyn felt a jolt of adrenalin but managed to hide it. “So?”
“How did you know I was a medic?” He stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. There was no escaping the intensity of his gaze.
Jordyn changed her focus to the door over his shoulder. “I don’t know.” She shrugged and started to walk around him. “Mom told me, I guess. What’s the big deal?”
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