Speak Rain
Page 26
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The morning started with many of the same familiar trappings of Daniel’s last days with his former employer, except that following his shave and brush he put on a nice charcoal grey business suit with a stark white shirt and red striped tie. Rachel had tried to encourage a little more style, and the saleswoman at the store had shown him a collection of suit, shirt, tie, socks and shoes that leaned on the olive side and was very complimentary. On this issue, Daniel was the one that would have none of it. He felt the suit needed to be like his pickup: able to serve in any capacity. And he didn’t want to pay $175 for shoes he was likely to wear once.
Breakfast was quick and light. Toast with jam and some peaches from a can were Rachel’s selection to start his day off right. The truth was in the time they’d spent together already Daniel had lost five pounds, mostly due to Rachel’s more balanced and lighter meals. Avoiding twice-daily trips to the convenience store for large sodas was helping significantly as well.
Having accomplished all he could to forestall his appointment with things to do at home, he finally went for the door. Rachel was shooing him out and granting well wishes. For one split second, Daniel almost leaned in to give his wife a peck on the cheek goodbye. And then his mood sobered up quickly as he recalled that Rachel was not his wife. It was a depressing realization for him.
Thoughts of how to celebrate as he drove down the hill and towards town were also muted since he realized he didn’t really have a life partner with whom he would take into town and share a meal and perhaps a drink. In many ways, Rachel was currently the love of his life, but only in the contexts they had defined. Only in that he wanted to be able to ensure she was happy and safe. It was not the same relationship one could possibly have with a spouse or lover whom would share ones bed and to whom one could discuss anything openly…even if his wife had teased at times. That sort of relationship, as Daniel’s poor soul was achingly discovering during Rachel’s visit, was one that he would likely not see again. Not unless Rachel changed her mind about dating. Otherwise it was a fleeting camaraderie that could only possibly provide some joy while she yet stayed in Woodland Hills with him, and afterward decayed like a cut rose. Though many people maintain a friendship through years even with great distance between them, Daniel was not particularly good at that and wasn’t willing to pester Rachel unto old age with emails and letters updating each other on his otherwise boring life.
The last thought Daniel had before entering the packing company for his interview was certainly not focused on the task at hand. It was: I hope I can do right by Rachel, but she’s going to have to move along pretty soon I think…before I get my heart broken.