by Jo McNally
A breeze made the wind chimes on the back deck tinkle merrily. Owen had bought the chimes as a gift for her last week. He said it reminded him of her because it had butterflies on it. Like her tattoo. She folded her arms on the table and dropped her head on them. Did that mean he cared, or was he just following the Show her you know what she likes tip from Dr. Find-Love? Her phone buzzed on the counter, but she ignored it. How was she ever going to be able to trust his words again? It probably didn’t matter, as he’d probably be following his parents back to North Carolina.
Wherever you are is home for me...
That sounded pretty, but he’d told her over and over that he had a life waiting for him in Greensboro. A business to run, whether he wanted to run it or not.
“Oh, boy, this is even worse than I feared...”
Piper’s voice in Lucy’s kitchen made her jump. Piper stood inside the side door.
“What...what are you doing here?”
“I knocked on the front door and got nothing. I called the shop and Connie said you had the day off. I called your phone and got nothing. The side door was open, so I figured I’d better do a wellness check.”
Lucy wiped her face quickly with the back of her hand, trying to gather herself together when she felt like she was falling apart. She started to smile and realized very quickly that it was a bad idea. Her mouth trembled, but she still tried to sound something close to normal.
“What made you think I needed a wellness check?”
Piper grabbed a wineglass for herself and filled it, then pulled out a chair and sat across from Lucy at the small breakfast table. “Well, a very pissed-off older woman came into the inn to claim her reserved room. She was accompanied by a subdued older gentleman. And Owen. In cargo shorts and a rumpled T-shirt. Barefoot.” Piper shook her head. “He looked...ravaged. Shattered. Devastated.”
Lucy lifted her hand. “Okay, I get the picture.”
“He told me he needed a room, and then introduced those people as his parents, and... I knew something had happened. So I came to check on you.” She took another sip of her wine. “Plus Owen pulled me aside and told me to get over here. What happened?”
“His mother clearly hates me, but I already knew that. But Owen...”
“No way he’s going back with them?”
“Well, he might now. After I told him to leave.” She ran her fingertip slowly around the top of her glass. “This whole time, with all his fancy wooing and courting and kittens and getting me to love him again...did you know he was just following some stupid phone app? None of it was real!” She paused, looking up at Piper. “Wait...did you know?” Piper’s white face told the story.
Everyone convinced me it was a bad idea...
“You knew.”
Piper held up her hands. “I didn’t know all the details, but yes, I knew he originally started out using something he found online. Logan knew about it, and so did Iris and the book club. Those old ladies gave him hell about it, and he promised to stop using it.”
“The book club knew?” No wonder Owen used the word everyone. It seemed everyone in Rendezvous Falls had known about Dr. Find-Love except Lucy. “And if the book club knew, then... Connie knew?”
This was a replay of the wedding weekend—everyone knew about her parents but her. Piper’s hands shook slightly as she lifted her glass. “I honestly don’t know that. Look, when Logan told me Owen was using an app, I didn’t believe it. I figured he’d misunderstood or something. I mean...an app? Who would do that?”
“Well, I think you know the answer to that question.”
I was desperate...
“If I’d thought he was that deep into this stupid app, I swear I would have told you. But after the kitten disaster—which ended great for Lily, by the way—Iris and the book club yelled at him and he stopped. And then you guys were together, and happy. I forgot all about the app.” Piper’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no...was that kitten a suggestion from...?”
“From Dr. Find-Love? Yup.”
Piper snort-laughed so hard she started coughing on her wine.
“Did you just say Dr. Find-Love? No way that was really the name, right?”
Lucy raised her hand in the air. “Hand to God. He paid for advice from someone called Dr. Find-Love.” Both women chuckled, but Lucy’s laughter trailed off. “It makes me feel like such a fool, Piper. Like I was...”
“Manipulated.”
“Exactly.”
Piper shook her head, lost in thought for a moment. “Okay. I get that. But did you feel manipulated before you found out about the app? You couldn’t have known, but did anything feel...off...about Owen’s feelings for you?”
“Well, for one thing, I could have known if my friends had warned me.” Piper’s face went pink. “But no. It felt sincere, even if it surprised me. I never expected him to come after me when I bolted. I had a lot of doubts about how sincere he was, but I never thought he was playing me.”
“Just because he used an app doesn’t mean he was playing you. It was stupid, but it doesn’t mean his intentions were bad.” Piper reached over to put her hand on Lucy’s. “You know I love you, but you’re awfully quick to cut and run. Why are you so sure everyone’s motives are suspect?”
Lucy winced at Piper’s words, but she couldn’t argue with them. It was a fair observation, and a fair question.
“I haven’t always been the cut-and-run type,” she said softly. “I was the do-what-people-wanted type, right up until the minute that... I wasn’t. And I can’t seem to find any middle ground, where I trust myself, much less trust anyone else.”
The windows were open, and a soft, warm breeze pushed into the kitchen, ruffling the edges of their napkins. Lucy stared at her wineglass, replaying the past two months in her mind.
“I panicked before the wedding. I’d been pushed and pushed and pushed and I kept giving in and giving in and... I was sick of it. Maybe I should have spoken up sooner, but that’s not how I was raised. My parents...” She laughed bitterly. “My shining example of suppressed emotions...they raised me to be considerate. Don’t be rude. Don’t cause a scene. I don’t think I ever saw them argue. They just drifted along, ignoring their own unhappiness for thirty-some years.” She paused, thinking of all the times tension had wafted through the air at home, but had never manifested. All those years her parents had wasted feeling unhappy and alone.
“I don’t want that, you know? I don’t want to live like that—doing what’s expected instead of what brings me joy.” She looked up with a shrug. “I panicked when I saw that was where I was headed. Instead of fighting, I ran. Maybe I’m confrontation-phobic.”
“Maybe,” Piper agreed. “If so, you know that one of the most common cures for phobias is conditioning yourself to face whatever scares you. Like those classes for people afraid to fly, where they end up taking a flight in a plane. Maybe you need to go back to North Carolina to face what sent you running. You might find out it’s not so bad.”
Lucy shook her head vehemently. “I can’t go back. Besides, I like it here.”
“Do you? Or do you just like that it’s not Greensboro?”
She thought of Connie’s questions a while back. Would Lucy get upset about something and leave Rendezvous Falls the same way she’d left North Carolina? If she spent her life running from things that upset her, how was that any different from her parents staying together while ignoring the things that eventually tore them apart? Both ways of living were more like hiding.
“You think I should go home.”
Piper took a sip of her wine before answering.
“I think you should confront your fears. You keep saying you panicked. The people and circumstances that pushed you to that panic point are there. Other than Owen, of course. And yes—” Piper patted her hand before releasing it “—Owen was a dumbass about a lot of things. He brushed off you
r worries before the wedding, but you know a lot of that was due to what he was dealing with after being overseas. But Logan says Owen’s in a veteran’s group now and he’s dealing with it. He apologized. He patiently wooed you.” They both chuckled at that. “Okay, maybe not patiently, but...with determination. And even if he used Dr. Find-Love to do it, it was for a good cause. He wants you back. I truly believe he loves you, Lucy.”
“You don’t know how much that man loves a plan. And the plan is for him and I to run the Cooper Landscaping empire in Greensboro. And now his parents are here to press their case. He talked to them like it was still a possibility. Even if he stays here, won’t he resent me eventually? I can’t get past this feeling that if we try to make that work, we’ll be my parents all over again. My mom said they became more like management partners than lovers. I don’t want that.”
“Since Owen came up here, have you ever felt like he was looking for a business partner instead of a lover?”
“No.” She didn’t even have to think about that answer. “For all his foolishness, he hasn’t made me feel that way. But...”
“But you’re still afraid. Of something that happened to someone else. Maybe your fears are making things look a lot worse than they are.”
Lucy sat back in her chair, her path suddenly clear.
“I need to go home and face the music.”
* * *
“SHE’S NOT THERE.” Logan called over from his front porch to where Owen stood at Lucy’s door.
Those three words hit a lot heavier than they should have. There were several places in town that Lucy could be, but Owen had a feeling she was a lot farther away.
“How do you know?”
Logan walked to the edge of his porch, only twenty feet from Owen. His face was solemn.
“Piper took her to the airport in Syracuse before dawn this morning.”
Owen blinked a few times, not sure how to respond. She’d run away. Again.
“Where’d she go this time?” He didn’t bother hiding the bitterness in his voice. She’d just up and left, without saying a word.
“Greensboro.”
“She went home?” That didn’t make sense. She said she’d never go back.
“Something about ‘facing the music.’”
“Is she coming back?”
Logan held up his hands at Owen’s demanding tone. “I have no idea, but I do know she only took a small overnight case with her.”
“And you know that because...”
“Because I put it in the car before they left at four this morning. I wanted to make sure they were set before driving all that way.”
“You didn’t think I should know my fiancée was leaving?”
“You keep using that word, but I haven’t seen a ring on her finger. Lucy didn’t want you to know until after she was gone.” He turned to go back into the house. “But I’m telling you now.”
Owen swore, tempted to kick at the locked door in front of him. Instead, he spun on his heel and walked away, barely grunting when Logan waved and went inside. She was gone. After everything. Just...up and left again. He kept walking, oblivious to his surroundings, with no destination in mind. He was marching, actually. Stomping his way down the sidewalk. Just when he thought the universe was righting itself, now everything was blowing up all over again. What was he supposed to do about it?
He looked up a few minutes—or maybe longer—later and realized he’d been going in circles, marching around a four block area around the Taggart Inn. He cursed to himself. It was a perfect metaphor to his life. Marching in fucking circles and getting nowhere.
He was surprised to see his parents sitting on the wide front porch of the inn. At the table next to them was Iris Taggart and three of her book club pals, including Connie Phelps, along with Father Joe Brennan. Connie was saying something to Owen’s mom, but Mom’s body language screamed that she was not being very receptive. His father, however, was leaning forward and listening.
All six people turned and watched with a great deal of interest when Owen came up the stairs. Iris Taggart gave a little smirk to her tablemates.
“Well...speak of the devil and the devil appears.”
His mother bristled.
“My son is not the devil in all of this. He’s the one who got dumped, remember?”
Iris shrugged, one of the few people fearless in the face of his mother’s fury.
“And why was that exactly? I think it had something to do with someone thinking their son’s wedding was about her instead of the bride and groom.”
Owen leaned against the porch post and crossed his arms waiting for his mom’s response. She puffed up in outrage, glaring at Iris, but when she saw that had no effect at all, she turned on her silent husband.
“Are you just going to sit there and let them insult me like this?”
Edward Cooper gave a low chuckle, and Owen sucked in a surprised breath. Laughing at his mother was something even Owen never dared. His dad looked at his wife, then to the people gathered at the next table.
“If you think I’m stepping in between you and these ladies and the good Father, Faye, you are mistaken. I’m not stupid. Besides—” his dad took a sip of the coffee in front of him “—they have a point.”
If his mother puffed up anymore she’d explode.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Faye, it’s time for you to get off this high horse you’ve been on and listen to people.” His father seemed very calm for a man walking into battle with a dragon. To Owen’s surprise, though, the dragon sat back in silence, blinking at her husband as if seeing him for the first time. His father set his cup down on the table. “You’ve been acting like this for too long. I thought it was a phase. I thought it was menopause...” That made his mother stiffen, but the other ladies snickered among themselves. “I thought you’d calm down after the wedding, but now I see I should have stepped in a long time ago.”
“Stepped in? As if you have a right to tell me what to do?”
Dad shook his head, and Owen realized his calm demeanor had a touch of steel to it. “Nope. But I should have offered some...guidance. Given you my opinion to consider. Maybe it would have prevented some of this.” Before Mom could say a word, he pushed on. “You’ve been so determined to have your way that you’ve lost sight of the big picture. You want me to retire, but what if I don’t want to? You want Owen to take over a business our niece is running very well, so what if Owen doesn’t want to do that? What if Lori doesn’t want to give it up?”
“But...but...that business is ours!”
“Ours as in yours and mine? My brother and I started that landscaping business straight out of high school. He ran it while I went to college, remember? Butch is gone now, but his daughter is doing a great job expanding the business and managing it. We’ve got two locations, with another set to open. I know we all expected Owen to take over, but so what if he doesn’t? Why can’t Lori run it?”
“Dad...” Owen pushed away from the post, stunned at what he was hearing. His father turned to face him.
“Son, do you want to run the nursery and business?”
“No.” He didn’t have to think twice. “I love the work of landscaping, but I want to get my hands dirty, not run an empire.”
“Then why the hell didn’t you say so?” His father stood, looking annoyed. “Don’t answer that. I know why. We never let you think it was an option, did we?” Dad gestured between his wife and himself.
“Uh...” Owen swallowed hard. “Frankly, sir...no, you didn’t.”
Faye Cooper found her voice at last. But it was cracking a bit.
“But... we had a plan...the condo in Palm Beach...retirement...”
“Sweetheart, you had a plan. You had a spot for everyone to fill and that made you comfortable. You’ve always been a driven one. But... I don’t wan
t to retire.” Her eyes went wide, but he kept talking. “Cut back some, sure. Go to a beach somewhere in the winter, sure. But I enjoy my job. I can’t tell you what to do, but damn it, you can’t tell other people what to do, either.”
His mother’s mouth snapped shut, her face pale. An off balance Faye Cooper was not a common sight. Owen didn’t get any satisfaction from it, because he could see the hurt and—was that fear?—in her silver-blue eyes. In group session the other day, the leader said sometimes the people who seem to have it the most together are the ones falling apart inside. He said to be careful about envying or resenting those people, but some were just really good actors, and keeping up that façade was exhausting.
And just like that, a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place. Lucy had pretended to be okay with everyone else’s plans, when she was quietly letting her resentments eat her up inside. His mother had turned more and more aggressive in getting her way over the past few years.
He knelt on one knee by his mother’s chair. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Her lips trembled.
“Mom...what are you afraid of?”
Her hand went to her throat, and she made a strangled sound as she swallowed a sob.
“I...nothing... I’m not...” She looked up to her husband, standing silently by her side with his hand on her shoulder. “I’m afraid of losing you. Of losing...what we planned... I mean...what will happen...?”
It was Helen Russo who leaned over from her nearby seat and put her hand on his mother’s other shoulder.
“I know exactly what you mean, Faye. I lost my husband much too soon, and I was so angry at the world. But what you’re feeling...the fear about plans changing...you’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. Think of all the energy you’re wasting over something you can’t control.”
“But I can control it!” His mother’s mouth was hard and thin. “All I need to do is get Owen home and away from that girl...”
Connie sat up straight. “That girl is a lovely, talented, caring woman that any family would be lucky to have. And I’m pretty sure your son, however misguided his methods have been, is in love with her. Do you really want him to walk away from the woman he loves?”