by J. S. Scott
Brynn was right. He’d been a conceited prick. Justin had been a male model with physical perfection. But his career had never quite flourished. All he’d really wanted was my modeling contacts and my help to put him in the limelight.
“He didn’t exactly have a lot of depth,” I agreed.
She shook her head. “It wasn’t just that. He was using you. You deserve somebody who cares about you, Laura. Sometimes I have to wonder if you don’t believe, deep down, that you don’t deserve anything better.”
Her comment left me wondering the same thing.
My ex had never ceased to make me feel like I was less than because I was a plus size model, even though he wanted my help. It had pretty much been the same way with every man I’d dated, even before I’d filled out to plus size. “Hey, at least none of the losers lasted long,” I said with false cheer.
Every romantic relationship I’d had in my life had been brief and far less than meaningful.
She sat up straighter and put her elbows on the table. “But you need somebody who’s going to last forever. And they need to give a shit about you more than they do about themselves,” she said in a serious tone.
“Prince Charming never arrived,” I answered grimly, repeating what I’d told Mason the night before.
“He’s definitely not Prince Charming, but I think you should give Mason a try, Laura. At least you’ll know he’s not after your money or your fame,” Brynn cajoled. “There’s something there. Even Carter thinks so. There’s a reason Mason calls you every single week. There’s a reason he looks at you like he does every time he sees you in person.”
“How does he look at me?”
Brynn’s expression turned into a mischievous grin. “Like he’s stripping you naked in his mind.”
“He’s not attracted to me,” I grumbled. I’d certainly never seen a lascivious glance from the man. “Mason Lawson is gorgeous, rich, and highly intelligent. And God knows he’s driven. But he’s been calling me once a week for a whole year now, Brynn. Don’t you think he would have asked me out if he wanted to?”
“Not necessarily,” Brynn said thoughtfully. “Carter says that Mason hasn’t thought about much of anything except work for over a decade. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since college. Apparently, he’s probably shy and way out of practice when it comes to dating. In the dating arena, he might be unsure of himself.”
I nearly spit out my coffee. I swallowed it hastily and started to laugh. “Mason? You mean the Mason who bosses everyone around? That guy?”
She grimaced. “Okay, maybe he isn’t shy when it comes to work and running everyone else’s life. But he’s not a player, Laura. Carter says he never has been.”
I hesitated a moment and stopped laughing before I said, “No woman would turn Mason down. He’s the whole package. Well, except for his annoying habit of telling me what to do. But I think he only does that because nobody has ever really challenged him on it.”
Brynn made a face. “Nobody challenges him because all he does is talk to employees for the most part. And you’re beautiful, talented, and intelligent. No guy would refuse you, either. For God’s sake, you’re Laura Hastings, supermodel and successful business owner. You could have any man you wanted, too.”
“Obviously, I can’t find the right one,” I joked. “And although I appreciate your confidence, Mason Lawson isn’t dying to date me, so let’s just drop it.”
Contrary to what my best friend believed; I didn’t think there were any successful, thoughtful men dying to go out with me.
Deep down, maybe I did think that I didn’t deserve more than someone who used me. My self-esteem was constantly a work in progress. I’d tried so damn hard not to let my childhood rejection make me feel like I didn’t deserve better, but it still got the better of me sometimes.
“We’ll see,” she replied ominously. “Are you bringing a date to the rehearsal dinner?”
“No.”
“Then you know you’re probably going to get stuck sitting by Mason, unless he brings somebody.”
I felt an irritating ache in my chest at the thought of Mason showing up with a date. “Is he thinking about bringing someone?” I tried not to sound jealous. Because I wasn’t. I was just…curious.
Brynn smirked. “Not that I know of. Admit it, you’re attracted to him, and you don’t want to see him with another woman.”
I rolled my eyes. “If he did bring someone, it’s none of my business.”
I sounded a lot calmer than I felt. Dammit! Why should I give a damn if Mason wanted to drag along a dozen women to the rehearsal dinner if he wanted to?
“You’d care,” Brynn said confidently.
I shot her the most nonchalant expression I could muster. “Mason and I have absolutely no future prospects of getting together as anything other than acquaintances.”
“Hey, don’t get defensive. It’s me you’re talking to,” Brynn said in a slightly injured voice.
I was immediately contrite. I usually talked to her like a sister, but Mason was a tough subject for me to discuss. “Okay, honest truth,” I said in a defeated tone. “I’m attracted to him. But it’s definitely unrequited lust. So there’s no point in even discussing him.”
“Maybe there is—”
“Stop!” I warned her with an admonishing look.
Brynn laughed and winked at me, but she changed the subject.
I was grateful when she started talking about her business instead of grilling me about Mason.
It would be way too much of a stretch for me to imagine Mason’s smoldering gray eyes assessing me with anything even resembling desire.
No point in even contemplating how that would look.
Or how I’d react if he ever did.
Laura
The wedding rehearsal went off without a hitch on Friday.
The rehearsal dinner was another matter entirely.
When I arrived at the small waterfront restaurant that Jett had entirely bought out for the evening, I was surprised when I realized we weren’t all sitting at one big table.
There were way too many guests for that to happen.
Flaunting tradition, Ruby and Jett had apparently invited all their friends and family. I mean, why not? Jett certainly had the space. There wasn’t a single regular customer in the restaurant.
Definitely not a small, intimate dinner with just the wedding party and close family.
Not that I minded a larger crowd. I wasn’t exactly shy about socializing with a lot of people. I attended plenty of events where mingling was a necessity.
I moved toward the center of the restaurant.
The venue wasn’t exactly crowded, but there were plenty of guests wandering around the bar area, getting a drink before they found their table. Others were already seated.
I wandered toward the bar myself as I looked at the names next to the place settings.
“Laura!” I heard Brynn’s voice call my name, and I turned around to see her waving from the other side of the room.
My best friend looked absolutely stunning in a dark-navy cocktail dress as she rushed over. Brynn always appeared to be effortlessly gorgeous, but she and I had both learned the tricks of the modeling trade, so I knew that seemingly simple beauty was actually carefully executed to look that way.
Thing was, Brynn would look fantastic even without makeup and in a pair of ratty sweats. Me? Not so much.
“You’re sitting over here,” she said excitedly as she took my hand and pulled me over to a small table.
I eyed the table for two suspiciously. “Do I really need to look to see who’s sitting across from me?”
She beamed at me as she snatched up the card next to the second plate.
I looked at the one word printed on the paper: Mason.
“Brynn,” I groaned. “Is this a setup?”
“Of course not,” she answered, trying hard to look indignant. “It’s just that you two are both solo.”
I stared at her, trying
to assess whether or not the whole thing was innocent.
It wasn’t.
I knew Brynn almost better than I knew myself. Her gaze didn’t quite meet mine. “You planned this?” I accused.
“I might have suggested that you two were both coming alone to Ruby.”
“And she sat us together,” I said with a sigh.
“Don’t you want to sit with Mason?”
I shrugged. “I don’t really mind. I just don’t want to be shoved off on Mason because I’m alone. He’s family. He’s the brother of the groom. He should be sitting near Jett and Carter.”
“Actually,” a low baritone drawled behind me, “I asked Jett to make sure we were seated together, too. It wasn’t just Ruby’s idea.”
My heart skipped a beat as I turned to see Mason standing right behind me.
It was impossible for me not to stare. The man looked delicious in a custom gray suit with a gray and burgundy tie.
He looked like he was accustomed to wearing a suit, but he definitely didn’t look…tame. To me, it seemed like he really wanted to shed the confining clothing, but knew that he couldn’t, and he’d accepted that fact reluctantly.
“So, you’re not exactly being shoved off on me,” he concluded.
I shot a glance at Brynn, who was slowly backing away from the whole situation.
Traitor!
“Thanks,” I said as I looked up at him. “It’s just…awkward.”
Oddly, I did have to tilt my head a little to see his face, even in two-inch heels, which was a novelty for me. Mason was tall. Really tall. He was built like a bulldozer, with shoulders so broad that he could—and probably did—shoulder a hell of a lot of problems on top of that massive amount of space.
The guy was huge, but his body was so ripped that there didn’t appear to be an extra ounce of fat on him.
He was pure muscle.
Mason’s overly large presence was daunting, but not uncomfortably so; not for a woman as big as I was, anyway.
I almost felt petite standing next to him, and that was saying something.
He stepped forward and pulled out my chair. “Sit.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. It seemed incongruous that he was being polite by pulling my chair out, yet he was barking a command at me like I was an employee.
But, I sat.
The sweetness of the gesture somehow overrode the gruff demand.
He took his place in his own seat across from me and dropped something next to my plate as he grumbled, “My application. I’m officially applying.”
I stared at the manila envelope for a moment, confused. “I don’t understand,” I told him.
He picked up a menu and looked it over as he said calmly, “I fit your required qualifications. I have a very good job, and I’m obviously breathing since I’m speaking right now. There’s no reason why I can’t be your go-to guy. Granted, I’m no Prince Charming, but I’m fairly certain I can get you pregnant. I’m more than willing to try until I do.”
My breath caught as I realized exactly what he was trying to convince me to think. “This is a sick joke,” I said stiffly. “And I don’t appreciate it.”
It hurt that Mason was one of the few people in my life who knew that I wanted to have a child, and he was choosing to make a joke out of it.
“Nothing funny about it. Do I look like I’m laughing?” His eyes left the printed words on the menu and became laser-focused on me.
My body infused with an almost unbearable, incendiary heat as our gazes met. He was deadly serious, and from the way he was staring at me, I was starting to think he found me to be a more tempting dinner option than what was on the menu.
Ridiculous! Mason Lawson doesn’t want me that way. It’s not possible.
However, I could tell he wasn’t making fun of me. He was serious.
“No. I guess it’s not a joke,” I said breathlessly, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. “It’s just…weird.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t you look over a man’s history, attributes, physical characteristics, education, and all that other stuff to find out if he’s a suitable father for your child?”
“I did,” I admitted as I reached for the glass of ice water beside my plate. I needed something to wash down the huge lump in my throat. After I swallowed, I added, “I hated it.”
“Why?” he questioned in a husky tone. “It’s all part of the process, right?”
I grappled with how to explain to a man like Mason exactly how I’d felt going through that process.
He was matter-of-fact. Businesslike. Unemotional. He let reason control his life.
He’d probably never understand how alone I’d felt in the clinic that day.
I looked down at my own menu, so I didn’t have to look at him. “It felt like buying a car or something. Or placing a fast food order. I just felt like it should have been different. A baby is a living human being. A new life being created.”
Yeah, I’d known that it would be impersonal to have a baby by an anonymous sperm donor. And I’d been okay with that. Or so I’d thought—before I’d gone to the clinic. But since I was doing it alone as a single woman, the whole process just lacked any kind of intimacy or joy. It hadn’t felt…personal. Okay, maybe later it would all be worth it because I’d have my child. I could lavish all the love I had to give on that kid. However, finding a donor that way had felt so damn…lonely. Which was why I’d been depressed enough to let myself drink too much at Jett and Ruby’s engagement party.
“So choose me. At least you know me,” he answered. “I’m more than willing to be your Big Mac.”
I nearly choked on my water as I laughed, realizing immediately that he was referring to my reference about fast food.
Mason Lawson had made a joke, even though he’d never even cracked a smile.
I watched him as he went back to scanning his menu again. Mason looked unperturbed, except for a small tic I could see along his jawline.
He’s nervous. And he’s totally serious. This man is actually offering to father the child I want so desperately.
For a few seconds, I let my mind wander to what it would be like to have a child with Mason Lawson.
Then, I shut those musings down pretty damn quickly.
I was more attracted to Mason than I’d ever been to a guy in my entire life. Sunday phone calls aside, I liked what I knew about him. He was definitely overbearing, but I could sense it wasn’t in a malicious way. More like an I’m-used-to-being-the-boss-and-I-don’t-know-how-to-do-anything-different sort of way.
We were interrupted by the waitress who came to take our drink orders. I hadn’t been planning on consuming any alcohol considering my history with Mason, but I asked for a glass of white wine. I was pretty sure I needed it.
He asked for a Scotch on the rocks, and we were left alone again.
I took a deep breath. “Mason, you’re a billionaire. You head one of the largest companies in the world. Why in the world would you even want a child with a woman you hardly know?”
He was opening himself up to all kinds of issues. Not that I’d ever sue him for anything, but I was a little concerned that he was making himself that vulnerable on purpose.
This doesn’t make sense. Mason is a consummate businessman. Why in the hell is he offering me this?
“I don’t want a child with a stranger. I want one with you. We’ll get to know each other better,” he rumbled.
I gaped at him before I asked carefully, “How? Do you want to have a child, too? With me? That makes no sense.”
He shook his head. “It makes perfect sense, Laura. You’re almost thirty-five, and I’ll be thirty-six soon. Both of us are totally consumed with our businesses. There’s no potential love interest in sight for either of us. So I propose we make a sensible agreement.”
It didn’t escape my notice that he hadn’t really answered the question about wanting a child himself, but I had to assume it was something he wanted as much as I did. Why else would he
be offering to father a kid? My question was, why hadn’t he ever mentioned it? “So you’ve decided you want to be my sperm donor?”
He shook his head. “Not in vitro. Not in a clinical setting. The natural way. You want everything to be more personal, and I can do that.”
I swallowed hard as I realized he was willing to have sex with me. Lots of sex, if he was planning on getting me pregnant.
I hated myself because the prospect was so damn appealing.
I was still desperately trying to process what he was offering as I asked, “But what if you meet somebody else? What if I do?”
“Hasn’t happened so far,” he reasoned. “I’m not going to meet someone else. Apparently, you don’t think you will either since you’re planning on having an unknown man’s baby. There’s no Prince Charming. Remember? So why not just use me, instead?”
I was speechless.
Admittedly, I’d already resigned myself to living without a man in my life. I wasn’t even looking for one anymore, and committing to motherhood would solidify my decision to be alone for a very long time. That child would be my world, so dating would be out of the question for me.
Mason Lawson is offering to give me the child I’ve always wanted.
Incredible.
I should be jumping all over that opportunity, but I couldn’t.
The conversation was so surreal that I couldn’t even process it, or figure out why he was offering in the first place. Was he motivated to offer because he felt sorry for me?
Nope. He hasn’t become the successful man he is with a bleeding heart. He has to have some kind of ulterior motive.
Again, the only rational explanation was that he wanted a child, too.
“Not going to happen,” I finally told him. “Mason, we don’t even know if we’d get along. This is the first time we’ve actually had a real conversation. Having a kid isn’t a business deal. We could end up hating each other. Fighting over an innocent child. You’re right about Prince Charming not showing up. I’m not even looking for a man in my life anymore. But having a baby is a very big commitment. You could meet someone—”