by J. S. Scott
Now that I understood Mason’s motivation, I knew I could deal with it. The memory of what had happened was fresh in his at the moment, but it would fade away in time. Problem was, I’d never known about how badly he feared something happening to me again because he hadn’t talked to me about it.
Honestly, if our roles had been reversed, I probably would have felt the same way. I would have wanted to cling to him, at least for a while, to reassure myself that he wasn’t going to scare the hell out of me like that again.
“We could have worked through both of our fears together, Mason.”
“Tell me that we still can, Laura,” he said stubbornly.
“Right now, I don’t know what to say,” I told him as I moved to sit back on the arm of the couch before my legs gave out. “A few minutes ago, I thought you dumped me because you lost interest. You saw me at my weakest, my ugliest, and I assumed I wasn’t what you wanted.”
He moved in front of me and stroked a hand over my hair gently. “You could never be weak or ugly to me. You’re the strongest woman I know. I read your blog. Did you really think your scars could be anything except proof of your strength to me?”
A river of tears started to flow, and I let them. “I didn’t know. You shut me out. You wouldn’t even really kiss me.”
“If I had, I never would have let you go, sweetheart,” he rumbled. “I love you too damn much.”
“Stop saying that,” I said angrily as I punched him in the shoulder. “You could never love me too much. Dammit, Mason. Don’t you understand that I love you the same way? I love you so much that—”
I never got another word out of my mouth because he had me up, cradled in his arms, and thoroughly silenced me as his lips crushed mine in less than a heartbeat.
Laura
I shuddered as Mason tightened his arms around me, and kissed me like he couldn’t survive without my mouth.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, relishing the groan that appeared to be torn from him as it vibrated against my lips.
This was what I’d wanted.
This was what I’d needed.
This is what I’d craved.
I love you too damn much.
That’s what he’d said, but he didn’t understand that this kind of passion from him was what I yearned for with him.
I could handle the crazy way he loved me, because I loved him in exactly the same way.
What I couldn’t deal with was him emotionally running away. When he’d shut me out, and blew me off, it had devastated me.
We were both huffing to catch our breath when he finally lifted his head.
“I’m sorry,” he panted as he put his forehead on mine. “I didn’t mean to do that. I couldn’t stop.”
I looked up at him. “I missed you. I missed this,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion. “It’s been so long since you’ve kissed me like that.”
“I love you, Laura,” he said in a graveled voice. “I should have said it before, and I never should have let you think otherwise. But sometimes I don’t know how to handle…us.”
“You’re going to have to learn if we’re going to try this again. I can’t do this again if we aren’t in it together,” I warned him.
“I’m all in,” he promised. “Are you going to give me another shot?”
I nodded slowly. “I suppose I am, because I love you too much to give up.”
“Thank fuck!” he answered, sounding immensely relieved.
“Just don’t mess with my insecurities again,” I teased him.
“Like I’ve said before, you have nothing to be insecure about,” he growled. “Do you really think I give a damn about what you look like, or how your scars look?”
“When you don’t talk to me, my mind is always going to go to the worst scenario,” I told him honestly. “What else would I think? How was I supposed to know that you were trying to protect me?”
“Then I’ll fucking talk until you’re sick of listening to me.”
I snorted. “That would be a change.”
Somehow, I couldn’t imagine Mason suddenly starting to babble on about his every emotion. He wouldn’t. But I had to trust he’d do the best he could.
“I love you,” I told him firmly. “I’m putting my emotional sanity into your hands because I don’t want to let you go.”
“You’ll never regret it,” he answered, like he was making a vow. “Now let me take a good look at those scars.”
I rapped him on the shoulder. “What? You think you’re just going to waltz in here, take off my clothes, and take me to bed?”
Honestly, the only thing I wanted to do was to get him naked, but I wasn’t willing to let him out of hot water that easily.
“Not happening?” he said, sounding disappointed. “No problem. I’m willing to wait for you. I’ll always wait for you. You can let me know when you’re ready. Until then, we’ll just talk. Be friends. Everything is on your terms right now, baby.”
When I looked into his beautiful gray eyes, I melted. Mason wasn’t going to push me. I could see that he was too afraid that I’d change my mind.
He’ll do anything I want. Even if that means suffering through a bad case of blue balls until I say the word.
I put my lips against his ear and whispered, “You’re not taking my clothes off because I’d much rather undress you.”
“Oh, fuck me. You’ll kill me,” he groaned.
I reached for the bottom of his shirt. “I plan on fucking you, big guy,” I said, feeling like the sexiest woman in the world at the moment. “But I’m getting you naked first.”
He lifted his arms, his eyes flashing with fire.
I pulled off the shirt and tossed it aside. He stood perfectly still as I put my hands on his chest and touched every inch of bare skin I could find.
God, he felt so good.
Mason had always felt amazing.
Every muscle was tense, and I could tell he was like a powder keg ready to blow. I marveled at his control as my hands went lower, savoring every inch of his rock-hard abs until I was finally tracing that enticing trail of hair that disappeared into the waistband of his low-slung jeans.
“Are you trying to punish me?” he asked hoarsely.
I flipped the button on his pants. “Maybe just a little,” I confessed.
“Fine. I can take it,” he said, not sounding at all comfortable, no matter what he said.
I copped a feel of his enormous erection with my palm. “You’re so hard, Mason,” I crooned.
God, I loved the way he wanted me. I’d missed it so much.
I wanted the craziness.
I wanted the insanity.
I wanted the desperation we always felt to be together.
It was a mad love, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I struggled to get the zipper down around his enormous cock, but I finally freed him and tugged the jeans down his legs, along with his boxer briefs. He kicked them off like he was happy they were gone.
I took a long breath and inhaled his masculine, unique scent. Mason smelled like…Mason.
Earthy.
Wild.
Uninhibited.
Carnal.
Intense.
Sexy.
And completely delicious.
“You have to be the most beautifully made man I’ve ever seen,” I told him honestly.
He visibly swallowed, like he was actually nervous. “I’m thick,” he grumbled, repeating the words I’d once said to him.
I smiled at him. “Then I guess thick men get me very wet. You look pretty damn hot to me.” I gave him an answer similar to the one he’d given me as I wrapped my fingers around his cock.
“Don’t,” he warned me huskily. “It won’t take much to make me come.”
I used my thumb to spread the drop of moisture at his tip around the silky head. “And that’s a problem? Why?”
The keg finally exploded. Mason sprang forward, buried his hands in my hair, and took cont
rol.
I breathed a contented sigh against his lips as he kissed me like he couldn’t wait another second for our bodies to somehow be connected. I felt the buttons on the blouse I was wearing pop as he stripped it open and started to drag it down my arms.
“I need to fucking touch you,” he said as his mouth left mine.
“Damn. I was so enjoying the view,” I said in a passionate, husky tone.
“My turn,” he demanded as he unclasped my bra from the front catch, and my breasts flowed into his hands. “Jesus! I feel like I’ve waited forever to touch these beauties again.”
I let the bra fall down and off while Mason teased the hard nipples, and then swooped down to torment each one of them with his mouth.
“Mason,” I moaned as I closed my eyes and got lost in the sensation of this man I adored worshipping my body. “Fuck me.”
“Not yet,” he growled as his tongue rolled over the scars left from my surgery, and the multitude of other procedures that had needed to be done to save my life.
I opened my eyes, and tears flowed freely. Without words, I knew what Mason was trying to say: there wasn’t a single thing about my body that he didn’t love.
“I love you so much. Too much,” I moaned.
“Never too much,” he grunted as he dropped to his knees and pulled the flowy skirt I was wearing down my legs, dragging my panties off with it.
I literally screamed as he leaned forward and buried his face into my pussy, laving and sucking like his life depended on thoroughly tasting me.
“Mason, please,” I whimpered. I needed him inside me.
“Please what? Please do this?” he asked gruffly right before he found my clit and flicked his tongue over the swollen bud.
“Oh, God,” I muttered desperately, knowing that I’d be begging him to make me come in another few seconds.
He didn’t tease, and he didn’t mess around. Mason was on a mission, and his objective was to have me screaming his name as I climaxed without a single inhibition left in my body.
I speared my hands into his dark hair, urging him on as I spread my legs to give him better access.
He purred approvingly like a big cat, sending pulsations through my entire body.
“Yes. Oh, God. Mason!” I screamed because I couldn’t help myself. “I-can’t-take-anymore-you’re-killing-me-please-please-please!”
He plunged his fingers inside me, using them to fuck me, and my body exploded like a stick of dynamite. My orgasm shook me to my core, and Mason’s tongue was there to lap up every drop, extending the pleasure until I felt like I was raw and vulnerable.
I panted as I came back to Earth, my body damp with perspiration.
I kept my hand in his hair as he rose to his feet, and I tugged slightly as I demanded, “Fuck me. Now.”
I wanted this man so deep inside me that I felt like we were permanently joined.
He kissed me, letting me taste myself on his lips, before he said roughly, “Have to. I can’t wait anymore.”
I shivered with anticipation as he drew me to the back of the couch, placed my hands on it, and said, “Hold on.”
Mason had never taken me from behind. He’d always been too afraid the position would be too deep.
“Yes,” I hissed, eager for him to do it before he changed his mind.
Groans of satisfaction left both of our mouths in tandem as he buried himself to the hilt inside me, his hands gripped tightly on my hips to hold me steady.
I lowered my head, the pleasure of being completely by taken by Mason almost too much to handle.
I felt his hesitation as he said, “Too much?”
“No! For God’s sake, don’t stop!” I pleaded. “I need you like this.”
Hard and hot.
Rough and raw.
Every single inch of him.
I craved him, and I needed both of us to be satisfied after being apart for so long.
He drew back, and surged inside me again. “I’ll never give you a reason to doubt me again,” he growled as he started a deep, rapid rhythm that had my body thrumming with desperate need. “You’re mine, Laura. You have been since the moment you let me take you the first time.”
“Yes,” I whimpered, my body on fire because alpha Mason was back with a vengeance.
And I loved every bossy, demanding, overbearing part of him.
I could put him in his place when I had to, but right at the moment, I just wanted to be…his.
“Harder,” I demanded.
He gave me harder, our skin slapping together the most erotic thing I’d ever heard.
“You’re so damn wet. So damn tight,” he grunted. “I can’t wait much longer.”
“Don’t,” I insisted.
But I should have known better. He’d never come until I did.
Mason snaked his hand around my body and buried his fingers in my pussy, caressing my clit with strong fingers that knew exactly what they were doing.
I imploded, my entire body shaking as I screamed his name at the height of my pleasure. “Mason, I love you!”
“I love you, too, baby,” he groaned as my body milked him to his own release.
An animalistic sound left his lips as he gripped my hips tightly and let go, and I savored it.
That was Mason.
Losing control.
Over…me.
Just as my legs were about to give out, he caught me in his arms and carried me to the couch. He flopped onto the leather fabric, taking me down with him, my sated body sagging on top of him.
We were both hot, sweaty, and completely satisfied.
He wrapped his arms protectively around my body, and muttered incomprehensible words into my hair as he held me.
“You can never love me too damn much.” He finally said something I could comprehend. “Love me, Laura. Love me as much as you can.”
I nuzzled my face into his neck. “I already do,” I told him tenderly. “And don’t worry about loving me too much. I need you, Mason. I can handle whatever you throw my way.”
“Just remember you said that,” he grumbled.
I smiled against his salty skin, knowing that whatever happened, we’d always manage to work it out now.
No matter how different we were, Mason and I just…fit.
We were supposed to be together.
My heart told me that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.
As he’d once said to me: everything else will just work itself out.
Laura
“Marry me, and just put me out of my misery,” Mason grumbled a few months later as he presented me with the most beautiful diamond ring I’d ever seen.
He’d taken me to one of the fancy ball fundraisers that he hated, but insisted they weren’t all that bad anymore because I was there with him.
When we’d gotten home, he’d pulled a red velvet box from his pocket while I was sitting on his sofa, taking off my heels.
He was on his knees right beside me, the expression on his face tormented.
I’d recently agreed to live with him in his beautiful home. I’d sold my condo, which had been a huge commitment, and while it hadn’t been easy working everything out between us, I loved him just as fiercely as I had when we’d gotten back together.
Slowly, we’d found a way to meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe I had given a little bit more in the beginning, when all of Mason’s fears were still fresh in his mind. But he’d relaxed after a couple of weeks, and we’d eventually been able to meet in the middle.
I understood his fears.
He understood my need to have some privacy.
To have the kind of unconditional love Mason showed me on a daily basis, soothing his fears hadn’t been all that difficult.
Sure, I knew that we’d probably always have our squabbles.
Mason would get too high-handed.
And I’d finally put my foot down.
However, I’d learned that we’d always do it with love.
My eyes
met his, and I could see that he was actually…nervous.
He was letting himself be vulnerable right now, and his openness touched my heart.
Not once had Mason even tried to run away from a conflict.
He stayed and worked it out. Every. Single. Time.
I reached out and touched the diamond gingerly. The center diamond was enormous, but it looked flawless. I loved the tiny bunches of smaller diamonds around it, making it appear to be the shape of a flower. “It’s beautiful. And so unique.”
“Just like you,” he drawled, which made me smile.
I loved the way that Mason had alleviated every single fear I’d had about him walking away again.
He’d been sincere when he’d said I’d never have reason to doubt him again.
He spoiled me unabashedly, and freely talked to me when he had something on his mind.
If he started feeling crazy protective, we’d talk about that, too, and I’d tried to find different ways to distract him. Generally, hot sex worked the best.
“Say yes,” he said impatiently. “Jesus! I hate myself for every time I gave my brothers hell about needing to marry their wives. I’m just as damn pathetic as they were.”
I chuckled before I said, “You already know I’m going to say yes.”
“I don’t,” he argued. “Which is why I’m still here in a tuxedo on bended knee.”
I reached out and stroked my palm along the dark shadow on his jawline. “Yes. I love you, Mason. I want to be your wife.”
He yanked the ring out of the box and tossed it aside. “Thank fuck!” he said with what sounded like relief as he slipped the ring on my finger. “I love you, too, Laura. I always will.”
I leaned forward and gave him a tender kiss on the lips, and he didn’t push it into anything further. He just kissed me over and over, with a gentleness that touched me so much that I started to cry.
Finally, he pulled back and sat on the couch beside me. “Don’t cry,” he insisted. “I really hate it when you cry.”
I’d discovered that there was nothing Mason dreaded more than to see me in tears. “It’s a happy cry,” I said with a sniffle.
He shrugged out of his jacket, and then pulled me into his lap.