by Quinn, Cari
“I’ll stay down here with the Scooby gang. Why don’t you guys get some sleep? Donovan threatened to fly in from London, but I managed to get him to calm down.”
“Thank God.” Lindsey slid her arm around my back. “One meeting with Donovan is about all I can handle per six months.”
Noah’s lips quirked in what passed for a smile. “There’s not much he can do, but I’m sure you’ll have to have a conference call with him and Lila at some point tomorrow—aka today.”
“Give me about five hours to sleep and I’ll be good.”
“I think we can handle a bit more than that.” Noah patted her arm briefly. “I’m sorry it came to this, but I’m glad no one was hurt worse.”
“Me too.” She put her other hand on my chest. “Thanks for watching out for them.”
Noah glanced at me. “No more secret psychotics in your closet, Nash?”
“Definitely not. Though I think Angel Martin will have to be dealt with. I don’t think she had anything to do with Kyle, but he used her and for that I’m sorry.”
“Lila and Donovan are on that.”
“Let them know I’m willing to talk to her. That me and my lawyers will figure something out.”
“Understood. I’ll let Donovan know and he can start that ball rolling.”
I held my hand out to him. “Thanks.”
Noah’s eyebrow quirked, but then he shook my hand. “All right, head to bed you crazy kids.”
Lindsey looked around. “Where are you going to sleep?”
“I’ve got calls for days, York. I’ll be fine.”
Too exhausted to argue, we both nodded. I took Lindsey’s hand and we slowly climbed the stairs. I didn’t even look at the chaos of my bedroom, I simply pushed her forward to the shower. “I’m going to put fresh sheets on the bed and I’ll be right in.”
When she didn’t move right away, I came up behind her and kissed her neck. “I’m sure one of Noah’s people could bring us to the brownstone.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m so tired I can’t think. But I have to get everything off me.”
I helped unzip her from the catsuit she’d worn. It was beyond fucked up, but I got her free of it and she stumbled into the shower. “I’ll be right in.”
I stripped the bed and found another set of charcoal sheets. I made sure to lock the roof access and straightened up a few photos that had been overturned thanks to the police presence.
Finally, I dragged my ass to the bathroom and found Lindsey leaning against the tile. I stripped out of my clothes and set them all in the bin. There was no saving anything of this night.
I stepped into the steam and gathered her to me. I knew the tears were coming. I’d felt them brewing for hours. I held her as the came out in a torrent. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held onto me tight. When they were done, she sagged against me. I washed her gently and did a rough and quick job on myself then wrapped her in a towel and lifted her up into my arms.
“What are you doing?”
“Being romantic.”
Her smile lit up the dark rock of shame bleeding in my chest. “Is that right?”
I leaned in and caught her mouth with mine. She brought her hand up to cup my jaw as we poured the pain and sorrow into one another until it was as clean and clear as water.
I carried her to my bedroom and dried her off, settling one of my oldest and softest T-shirts over her head. Again, I did the bare minimum for myself and tugged on a pair of boxers in deference to my houseful of fucking people.
I crawled into the middle of the bed and found Sarge on my pillow. “Ahh, there’s a good lad. I knew you’d show yourself eventually.”
He butted ahead my hand then settled himself back down, his one green eye bold and bright.
Lindsey rolled in beside me. I’d never been the kind of man who wanted to cuddle, but this woman brought so many new emotions out of me. I tugged her back against my chest and wrapped my arms around her. I tucked my chin into her neck. “I’m sorry I’ve brought you so much pain.”
She turned her head to meet my gaze. “It’s not your fault, Alex. I know it will take some time for you to actually believe that, but it’s not. Just talking to him for a little while tonight I could tell there was so much more wrong with him than even you could have known about.”
“If I’d—”
She pressed her finger to my lips. “You were here when I needed you. And you saved Jamie. For that I’ll never be able to thank you.”
“If it hadn’t been for me, she would never have been in that position.”
She turned in my arms and laid her hands flat against my chest. “And I’d have missed this. You and me. Something I never thought I’d have.”
I frowned down at her, kissing her forehead. “You’d have a regular guy.”
“Who wants a regular guy? I have a huge, wild, amazing love right here with you. Maybe it wasn’t the easiest path, but I wouldn’t change it.”
“I love you so much. I don’t deserve you—”
She pressed her mouth to mine. Hard. “Stop saying that. I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love your dark and your light. It’s what makes you you, and what makes you mine. Period. So get used to me being right here next to you for the next sixty years.”
“Only sixty?”
She shrugged. “You are a bit older than me.”
I rolled her onto her back. “Oh, is that right?”
“And of course I made a little room for advances in science.”
“Right, for science.” I kissed down her neck. “Well, if it’s for science, I guess we need to make sure to keep me in top form.”
She wrapped one of her gorgeous, long legs around my hip. “I’m up for that challenge.”
“Damn right, duchess.”
There was still a little bit of sadness creeping around the edges of her eyes, but she was resilient, perfect, and mine. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be good enough for her, but I was damn well going to try to be.
Maybe it was even time to try therapy again. After tonight, I would need it. And if she needed it too, we would do it together.
I pushed my boxers down enough to slide into her gently and watched her bloom for me. Exhaustion was too close to the surface for all that I wanted to show her, but the closeness was enough.
Her hushed, reverent sigh ending in my name was all I would ever need.
Epilogue
I stood in the back beside Noah Jordan and fingered the paper in my pocket. If I sweated any more, I was going to leave a hole in it. “How much longer?”
“You do realize my job is security, not timing staging shows, Nash.”
“I do, but I also know you must have a romantic soul under that titanium body armor. So, time?”
“I do not. But you have approximately two minutes, fifteen seconds left, assuming DuCaine stops swinging around with her guitar in a timely fashion.”
“Considering DuCaine doesn’t do anything in a timely fashion, I’m going to figure a few more minutes.”
As soon as Noah walked away, barking orders into his walkie-talkie, I bent at the waist to take several cleansing breaths. I was getting lightheaded and I hadn’t even stepped on stage yet.
Had I developed a fear of them in the intervening years since I’d been in the spotlight on one? Or was it the other part of what I was about to do that had me so vexed?
Both. I rose and rubbed my chest through my loose button-down shirt. Definitely both.
My cue to walk onstage was the change of lighting from pulsing purple and silver to a wash of red. The screens filled with hearts. Okay, I hadn’t asked for that. And cherubs? With little arrows and lip prints on their round behinds? What in the hell? I glared at Oz from backstage, since he’d told me he would speak to the appropriate parties and make sure everything was all set for my arrival.
Bloody jackass.
Lindsey glanced around, clearly confused. In honor of Brooklyn Dawn’s third sold out show at MSG, she wo
re a catsuit of dripping shimmering gold, with thigh-high gold boots to match. Along with her long blond fall of hair, she gleamed like a candle, even in the near-darkness.
So fucking fitting.
Her band all abandoned their instruments. One by one, they gave Lindsey little waves before slipping out the door that led backstage. As they passed me, each of them grinned.
I pointed at Oz when it was his turn. “It’ll be your day someday, son.”
He laughed. “Yeah, right. Like I’ll ever put on a display for some chick.”
“Not some chick, you asshole. The head bitch chick in charge.” Jamie came up behind him, scrabbling onto his back like a drunken cat. She held out her fist to me, and after a moment, I bumped my knuckles to hers. “Go bag your woman, stud.”
That was about as close to an endorsement as I would get from Jamie DuCaine.
Lindsey spun in a circle as the spotlight bounced over her. “Uh, hello? The show isn’t over yet.”
The audience enthusiastically agreed, shouting and stomping their feet.
My heartbeat slammed in my ears. I was sure I could hear the actual flow of blood in my veins.
Holy fuck, I was going to do this.
As I stepped onto the stage, the roar of the crowd became deafening. Lindsey shifted to find the source of their excitement, her lips parting as our eyes connected. I walked toward her, picking up the Taylor that waited for me in a stand. A tech hurried out with two stools, setting them and a pair of old school stand microphones in the center of the stage.
Out in the audience, thousands of people watched and waited. I could feel all of their eyes burning into my skin.
“Alex,” Lindsey whispered, just loud enough for the microphone to catch it.
I took a deep breath and drew her to me for a quick embrace. “Trust me,” I said against her ear, well-aware she was trembling.
She nodded and stepped back, sliding onto her own stool like the true professional she was.
Would always be.
Tonight, she’d held this entire crowd transfixed. Now it was me who held them riveted.
Breathe. Think about her. Not yourself.
That made it easier. Looking into her depthless blue eyes, I could do anything. Be anything.
Even a man who wasn’t afraid to get on a stage and expose himself down to the marrow.
I sat on my stool with my guitar in my lap and gripped the microphone, tugging it closer. “Hi. Sorry to disrupt your concert. Just a brief interruption, folks. She’s been amazing tonight, hasn’t she?”
The place filled with screams and cheers.
I pulled the paper out of my pocket. It was now wrinkled and damp, the ink probably smeared.
As long as she got the message, I didn’t care.
“Once upon a time not so long ago, a very important person to me told me if something was too hard to say, I should write it down. So, I have. Hopefully, Lindsey will read what I’ve written. It’s short, I promise.” I offered her the paper, willing my hand not to shake.
If it did, I couldn’t tell, because hers quivered violently as she gripped my fingers. Not taking the paper. Just staring at me until the audience started to chant.
Read it.
Read it.
Read it.
She nodded and blew out a breath as she finally eased back and unfolded the paper. She scanned the words I’d written, then closed her eyes. “I can’t read this.”
“Yes, you can.”
When she didn’t move, I gently pried open her fingers and retrieved the paper. I cleared my throat and spoke into the microphone, hoping like hell my voice didn’t sound as gritty as it did to my own ears.
“A beautiful woman once asked me to sing with her. I said no. Hello, she would show me up in front of the whole world. I mean, the Lindsey York? C’mon.”
The crowd laughed and the tension in my shoulders ebbed away, little by little. Once this had been my milieu.
For her, I could do this.
“But that wasn’t why I said no. I haven’t been on a real stage for ten years. Not since the night I drank and took drugs and nearly killed myself and my best mate in a car crash. Some of you probably have heard that story, or the one that occurred more recently.”
The audience wasn’t laughing now. Deathly silence filled the venue.
“I didn’t deserve to sing anymore. I didn’t deserve light. I chose the dark and I stayed there, safe and alone where no one could see the decisions I’d made, etched on my body. And then I found the sun. She shone her light in every corner, giving me the courage to look around and see the life I’d made for myself. I didn’t want to reach for her. God knows, I didn’t deserve her. But she was the reason I found the strength to continue.” I set down my paper and my guitar on the floor and stood to undo my shirt, button by button.
My fingers weren’t shaking now. Nor were they damp. I was now filled with an unshakable resolve.
This was what was right.
Lindsey reached out to still my hand. “Alex, you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.” I finished with the buttons and shrugged my shirt to the floor. “Because I want them to see not just all of me, but that you’re part of me. The best part. The part that matters most.” I took her hand and placed it over my heart, but not before she took in the stark black outline of a sun tattoo, centered on my chest. “There will always be that devil on my shoulder, urging me back to the dark. But nothing could be stronger than your sun, and the love I have for you. It glows inside me, steady as a sunrise.” I lifted her hand to my lips. “I love you, Lindsey. Today, tomorrow, and always. And I’m so proud of you for living your dreams.”
Silently, tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you so much.” She slid off her stool and moved to me, cupping my face in her hands as she met my mouth with her own. The salt on her lips burned mine, but then, I wasn’t sure if I could taste her tears or my own.
I gently nudged her back to her stool and picked up my guitar. There was one more thing on the paper, the lyrics to the song I knew my heart.
Our song, the one we’d written on a night we were so angry and frustrated and consumed by each other.
The last part would never change.
I rolled my shoulders and slid her a sidelong glance. Her lashes sparkled with tears, but her eyes shone with love and gratitude and enough lust to power all of the lights currently bouncing around the stage.
“We’d like to sing a song for you now.” I took a deep breath. “It’s a new one, a York and Nash collaboration. The first of many, I hope. What do you say, duchess?”
“You know it.” Her lips curved into the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen as she leaned forward and spoke into the mic. “This is called ‘Never Again.’”
* * *
Thanks so much for reading PLAY DIRTY. Brooklyn Dawn's wild bassist Oz has cut off the painful parts of his past...until his younger sister's far too innocent best friend Daisy gets a job on the tour. One-click PLAY FAST now.
Five reasons I should never go near Oz Taylor:
•He’s a hot as sin world famous rockstar with a big...ax.
•He’s a huge, tattooed older guy with a piercing dark gaze that can destroy a woman’s virginity.
•He’s my forever best friend’s older brother.
•He hasn’t spoken to me in more than five years.
•Oh, and I’m pretty sure he hates me...
One-click PLAY FAST now.
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Oblivion World Character Chart
Beware...spoilers aplenty in this chara
cter chart. Read at your own risk!
Aidan Roth: Roth Defense CEO and head security detail for Warning Sign
Brother to Marcus
Alexander Nash: Record producer
Best friend Kyle Brady, friends with Logan King, involved with Lindsey York
Angel Martin: Singer
Ava Templeton: Blogger, runs Hammered website and blog, writing book on Hammered
Sister to Callie
Beckett Manning: Owns Happy Acres Orchard
Brother to Zoe, Hayes, and Justin
Bent: security for J Town, JoEllen Foundation
Callie Templeton: Photographer
Sister Ava, married to Owen Blackwell, daughter Lily
Chloe Adams: Waitress
Married to Michael Shawcross, son Axl (bio-father Snake Scotsman), daughter Hope
Cooper Dallas: Brooklyn Dawn drummer
Darcy: Brooklyn Dawn stage manager
Deacon McCoy: Oblivion bass guitarist
Married to Harper Pruitt, daughter Alexa Grace, co-founder of Oblivion
Denver Casey (nee: Casey Lewis): Tour bus driver for Rebel Rage and Warning Sign
Donovan Lewis’s niece, married to Ryan Waters
Dex Munroe: Ripper Records executive, manager for Hammered and Warning Sign
Donovan Lewis: Ripper Records CEO
Uncle to Denver Casey
Ethan Haywood: Professor at UCLA
In a relationship with Molly McIntire and Luc Moreau, best friend Lauren Bryant
Evie Pierce: MMA fighter
Sister to Sutton, friends with Lindsey York and Jamison DuCaine, involved with Johnny Cage
Faith ‘Keys’ Keystone: Hammered keyboardist
Married to Quinn Alexander
Felicity Hudson: Waitress
Sister to Robin, in a relationship with Myles Vaughn