n Wishes
By Marissa Steidl
Copyright 2014 by Marissa Steidl
To a mother who always been there for me and never gave up on me. To my brothers who never told me my dream was impossible. Your support means the world to me. For anyone that's supported and encouraged me, thank you.
-Marissa
Table of Contents
About Marissa Steidl
Other Works by Marissa Steidl
Connect with Marissa Steidl
False Promises
You promised me
One day we
Would
Run away
Together.
And I
Believed
Every word
You said.
Because I
Didn't know
You were
Sick.
But you
Did.
You left
Me behind
With my
Demons.
And a pocketful
Of false
Promises.
Broken
I remember when
You first told me
Something was
Wrong.
It was 2 am
And you called me
Saying you
Could just barely
Breathe.
By then you knew
You were
Sick.
You sounded
Scared and
Alone.
So I got up
And drove to
Your apartment.
I took you
To the
Hospital.
Never left your
Side.
Not when the doctor
Told you the
Lung cancer
Was getting
Worse.
When he left
You asked me
If I was mad
At you for not
Telling me.
I was furious
But I shook my head
And said
Never.
Because you looked
Like I did before you
Found me.
Broken.
Shining Star
You got worse
As time
Went on.
Not even
The chemo
Helped.
I remember
Crying while you
Were asleep
One night.
Begging god
Not to take
You away
From me.
Because you
Will always
Be the shining
Star that
Pulled me
Back from the
Abyss.
Drowning
You were admitted
To the hospital
When you stopped
Breathing one
Night.
I sat by your
Bed every day
Refusing to leave
You.
Each morning
When I woke
You watched me
and said
"You look terrible."
Smiling but
I could tell
You were
Worried.
When you finally
Left me behind
And traveled
To the Heavens
I begged
"Please stay!"
But you were
Already gone.
At your funeral
There were only
Two people
Me and the pastor
No one knew
You died.
As they lowered you
Into the ground
My whole body
Shook like
It was
December.
And when I
Went back
To your place
I collapsed
On your bed
Sobbing and
I felt like
I was finally
Drowning.
The Abyss
When we first m
et
I was ready
To end it
All.
I was all
Alone cast
Out by a
Father who
Drank himself
Into an early
Grave.
Left by a
Mother who
Tried to pretend
I didn't
Exist.
Nobody would
Have stopped
Me.
Except for you.
You grabbed my
Arm and pulled
Me back.
Asked me what
My name was
While the rain roared
Down upon
Us.
"Which one?"
But you didn't
Understand what
I meant.
"Do you have different names?"
Yes all the different
Ones my father
Called me.
When I nodded
You just shook
Your head
"What do you call yourself?"
Hopeless.
"Joy."
An emotion
I can't
Remember feeling
Before.
"Darcy."
Said so softly
I almost missed
It.
We left for
Somewhere warm
And I never went
Back to the
Abyss.
Roots
We never talked
About our
Families.
One day a
Month after we met
My father
Found me
Again.
Or should I say
I found
Him.
His death was
In the
Newspaper.
He drank until
He couldn't feel.
To forget about
His no good
Daughter.
And the wife
Who left
Him.
You didn't ask
Me if I would
Attend his
Funeral.
Instead you
Came with
Me as I
Said good riddance
To the
Monster from my
Past.
Leaving behind my roots.
Darkness
You were the
First person
Not to give
Up on me.
Not when
I was ready
To give up
On myself.
Before I took
Care of you
You cared
For me.
Keeping the
Darkness at
Bay.
Forgetting
The other day
I went
To call
You.
Then I
Remembered
You were
Gone.
And I broke
Down crying
Again.
I keep
Forgetting you
Are gone
And never coming
Back.
Echos
I can hear
You in every
Room.
Your laugh
Echos through
My thoughts.
It's getting
Harder and
Harder not
To think
Your home.
When I close
My eyes I
See your face
Smiling.
When I lie
Down in
Bed I
Can feel
You next to
Me.
Why did you leave?
Empty Boxes
I can't bring
Myself to
Pack up your
Apartment.
Only to put
Your things
In boxes.
To be set
In the back
Of my
Closet.
It hurts
Too much
To see all
Of the photos
We took
Together.
So instead
I have a
Pile of
Empty boxes
In the
Corner of my
Bedroom.
Waiting to
Be
Used.
Worry Lines
I know you
Worried while
You were
Sick.
You thought
I might go
Back to my
Bad place.
And even though
I promised you
That wouldn't
Happen I
Lied.
Because I was
Scared I would
Go back
To the
Abyss.
You could always
See right through
Me.
There were always
Worry lines
On your face
When you were
Sick.
I think you
Gave me them
Because I still
Worry something
Bad will happen
To me.
First Kiss
I remember
Our first kiss
Like it was
Yesterday.
We had a
Picnic in
The park.
You wore a
Pretty blue
Dress.
Compared to me
You looked
Like a goddess.
I wore a
Sweater and jeans
Even though
It was
April.
I was still
Afraid you
Were just a
Dream.
And I wouldn't
Wake up at
All.
We stayed there
Until the sun set
Then you
Walked me
Home.
I was nervous
About what
Would happen
Next.
But those
Nerves disappeared
With our first
Kiss.
Secrets
Most of the
Doors to
Your past
Were kept
Closed.
All I knew
Was you
Left something
Behind.
Last week
The something
You kept locked
In your
Past found
Me.
You were going
To marry
The boy
Next door.
But in the
End you
Couldn't.
There was
No love
In the
Relationship.
I was surprised
When he showed
Up at
Your apartment
When I finally
Began to pack
Stuff up.
He was confused
When you
Didn't answer
The door.
"Is Darcy here?"
He did not
Hear the
News.
"My name's Paul."
I still couldn't
Wrap my head
Around the
Idea of him.
"I-I'm Joy."
When he asked
Where you
Were it
Took everything
In me
Not to
Cry.
Paul was not
As able
To keep from
Crying.
Because you
Were sick
Long
Dandelion Wishes Page 1