Nathanial: Yes.
Double fuck. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Then again, of course he’d had a threesome. Why wouldn’t he have had one? He was a celebrity. I bet girls threw themselves at him on a daily basis. Except…why was I getting so freaking jealous over something that had happened in his past? I wasn’t a jealous person. The opposite actually.
I sat there staring at my phone. I didn’t know what to say in response.
And then suddenly my phone was ringing. Oh, Jesus. It was Nathanial calling me. Not sure what else to do, I answered.
“Hey,” I said, my stomach in a giant knot.
“Hey,” he said back, his gritty, deep voice soothing and calm.
Hearing him made me feel better—made me feel silly for comparing him to Mike. “I shouldn’t have asked you that,” I apologized, leaning back against one the beams that supported the counter. I stared up at the ceiling as I spoke. “Your past is your past. It was none of my business.”
“You can ask me whatever you want.”
There was such infliction in his voice as he said this, such kindness, such sincerity. He truly meant it and it made me go warm all over.
“Okay,” I whispered, “but you should know that just because I’m a lesbian, or whatever I am, that doesn’t mean I’d be into all that automatically. I’m a one person at a time kind of a girl.”
“And I don’t want to share you either,” he added. “We’re on the same page, Ellie. Why don’t you come have lunch with me and we can save this conversation for later? I’d love for you to meet my brother.”
I gasped. He knew I was here? How foolish was I? Hiding behind the bar counter, having this dumb conversation, when he’d known where I was all along.
“Fine. Give me a minute.”
I hung up the phone. Rhett was going to be on dishes duty at home for the rest of eternity for ratting me out. Meanwhile, Mike was still sitting at our table, looking off into space, waiting, like he expected me to come back and join him at any second. “What a moron,” I mumbled, standing and brushing off my khaki pants. Hopefully he’d realize soon enough that I wasn’t coming back. I’d thought I’d been clear about my intentions when I walked away abruptly after his threesome comment. Maybe he was too full of himself to understand. Or too dense. Whatever.
I’d also left my bag at his table in my haste to get away, but I wasn’t about to go over there and get it. I’d sooner leave it and have to cancel all my credit cards then face him again.
So, after a quick trip to the bathroom, where I splashed some water on my face and gave my image in the mirror a mini pep-talk, I went to Nathanial. The restaurant was giant, and kind of maze like even with the outdoor deck portion closed, so I was able to move past Mike without being seen.
Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, I told myself.
As I approached, I noticed that his brother was the thinner, less muscular version of Nathanial. He had his same brownish-blackish hair, same height, and same nose. I bet his brother had to deal with fans mistakenly assuming he was Nate West all the time. Speaking of fans—none of the other five customers at Chancy’s seemed to notice there was a celebrity among us. That was one of benefits of winter in this town. Not many people came to the beach when it was freezing.
Rhett still lingered, standing beside Nathanial’s table, flipping a server’s tray absentmindedly, laughing at something someone had just said. “Ellie, I didn’t know you were here,” he gasped when he noticed me beside him. “This is a surprise. I thought you were at work,” he said with a wink. Wow, he was a horrible liar.
“Cut the crap, you knew I was here. We spoke five minutes ago,” I told him and squeezed past him to sit beside Nathanial in the booth.
“Oh yeah, I remember now,” Rhett said.
I only made eye contact with Nathanial’s brother as I sat down, not with Nathanial. My hands were shaking and my heart was racing—I didn’t need to look at him and make those things worse.
“Hey,” I said to the man across the booth from me. “I’m Ellie.”
“David,” he replied. His voice had a kind tone to it. I liked Nathanial’s easy-going, easy-to-get-along-with personality and I got the impression that David might have a similar way about him. But I was having trouble getting past one little thing about David…
David was gay.
It was one of those things I could tell immediately. Something about his manner or the way he dressed, something I couldn’t put my finger on, told me he was gay. And instantly I felt unease. I felt uneasy because what must he think of me? Surely Nathanial told him about my past, and my sexuality, and all my confusion. People came out of the closet all the time. It was normal for a gay man or woman to date the opposite sex throughout their entire life, be living a lie, and finally decide to come out publicly and date who they were always supposed to date. It wasn’t normal to do the reverse. What if he looked at me and saw me as a betrayal against the whole LGBT community?
But that wasn’t what the LGBT community was about. We didn’t judge others based on who they loved. Diversity was something to be celebrated, not rejected. I’d always believed that and stood by that. And David wasn’t looking at me with judgy eyes. Nope, he was looking at me like he was meeting his brother’s girlfriend and he couldn’t be more thrilled that it was me. Which was a whole different issue in itself, one I’d think about and deal with later, but for the first time since I met Nathanial on that airplane I wasn’t so damn confused about who I was.
I was just me. Lesbian. Straight. Whatever. I didn’t really matter.
Holy cow, I thought as relief washed over me. Finally realizing this felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders—like I was back in control.
Wow. It felt good.
I smiled at David. “What do you think of the Outer Banks so far?”
“Different than Miami, but I like it,” was his response.
“You’re from Miami?” I asked him, not too surprised. Both he and Nathanial seemed like they belonged to a big city.
He nodded. “Yes, Miami is home.”
“Is that where you grew up in Florida?” I asked Nathanial, unable to ignore the man beside me another second longer. My body was already hyperaware that it was him sitting beside me. The wonderful way he smelled, the heat rolling off him, the way I noticed and was fixated on each breath he took—dammit, I couldn’t really hide my excitement about seeing him again, especially now that I’d just had this epiphany about myself. All my worries about threesomes and going on pointless blind dates were immediately forgotten. There was only one thing I needed to explore—the connection I felt with the man beside me.
“We grew up in Key Largo,” he told me. “My mom still lives there but David, Rogelio, and their two kids live in Miami now.”
“You guys want to order?” Rhett interrupted. He still stood beside our booth. He wasn’t normally a server, but Rhett had worked here so long he could do any job. I was positive whoever was supposed to be our server was pissed as hell right now that Rhett was taking their table. He’d probably be murdered the second he stepped back in the kitchen.
David and Nathanial both ordered. I ordered my usual, the shrimp roll—again—since I didn’t get to finish my meal with Mike.
“Can I bring you anything else?” Rhett offered.
“Yes,” I said. “You better say I requested you as a server when you walk back into that kitchen, Rhett, if you want to live. I’ve seen the desperate way that one server named Chelsea looks at anyone with a Y-chromosome. She’ll want to kill you for this.”
He rolled his eyes at me.
“I’m dead serious. Oh, and, could you please bring me my check from my other table? I want to close it out—if it is still open. And I left my bag over there. Think you could get it back? Pretty, pretty please.”
Rhett nodded. Then without cracking a single joke, he left us.
After he left, the polite chit-chat continued. David seemed n
ice. He was leading the conversation—telling me more about their family, about growing up in Florida, and about what Nathanial was like as a kid. And it was all interesting stuff—don’t get me wrong, I was super absorbed in the conversation and found myself wanting to learn everything I could about Nathanial—but I so desperately wanted to know why he was suddenly here, suddenly sitting beside me in a booth at Chancy’s Claw, that it was eating me up inside. Of all places, I never would have imaged him showing up here on a random Wednesday afternoon.
But I was too chicken-shit to ask why.
Instead lunch continued. Then before I knew it, the plates were cleared, the check was paid, and it was well past time for me to leave and get back to work
“We should probably get going, little brother,” David announced. “We’ve got a lot to do. And you only have me here for another twenty-four hours. I’m good, but I’m not that good.”
“You’re right,” Nathanial said.
I scooted out of the booth so he could get out. I had no idea what David meant by ‘a lot to do’ and Nathanial did not elaborate. Actually, he’d been the quietest I’d ever heard him throughout our entire meal—answering questions but never saying more than a sentence here or there to me. And I half expected him to leave the restaurant without acknowledging that we meant more to one another than he’d shown thus far. Then again, maybe he’d seen me today and hadn’t felt the same sparks between us this time around. Maybe this was it. Maybe he wouldn’t be back to see me after this.
So when he wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he stood from the booth, and pulled me in close for a hug—it surprised the hell out of me. He was warm and hard and the strength of his arms around made me feel more like a woman than I think I’d ever felt.
“I know it’s not Friday yet, but can I call you tonight?” he asked softly.
I merely nodded, my mouth unable to form sentences. I stared up at him as he held me for a second longer. He moved his hand to brush my hair away from my face—hair that wasn’t really in my face. His fingers gently trailed against my skin. Every inch of me went soft.
I guessed I’d been wrong. Very wrong. Those same sparks were there and stronger than ever. He looked down at me like there was no one else in the room. Our little moment only lasted a moment, but I knew I was going to think about it for the rest of the day.
We said goodbye. I stood in place watching as he left with his brother. The ding of the bell on the door followed him outside into the cold. Then he was gone.
I realized I was standing in the middle of Chancy’s Claw just standing there. The room was even spinning a little. Holy shit. What was this man doing to me?
CHAPTER 17:
NATHANIAL
Picking a place here to rent, possibly to buy, was much harder than I ever expected. The entire day so far had been exhausting—a nonstop parade of house after house. The Sandy Shores Reality company had sent over a nice woman to help us, though. I’d forgotten her name, but she was knowledgeable, energetic, and determined.
“Did you like the restaurant I recommended?” she asked when we met again after lunch. She led us up the wooden steps to the deck of house number eight. “I know Chancy’s Claw seems like a hole in the wall and half the chairs are plastic, but the food is always good. My kids love it.”
“Yes,” David said politely, “the food was delicious. Thank you for the recommendation.”
For a million dollars, I could not remember what the food tasted like. I’d been too distracted by a girl with pretty blue eyes to care. Seeing Ellie again so soon had been unexpected. I hadn’t even planned on telling her I was in town for at least a few more days. So when Rhett had walked over to my table—acting like a giddy school girl—I’d known immediately she was in the same room.
“Once again,” the relator woman said, “you can walk through first and then we can discuss what you liked and disliked after. I think we’re getting closer to finding what you want. I hope this might be it.”
“Thank you,” David told her and we went inside without her. “This is nice,” he said once we were alone, immediately assessing the place. “It’s furnished. It’s clean. It has charm. It’s oceanfront. It has enough bedrooms for the whole family to come visit. Renting or buying is an option. This could work.”
By furnished he meant the wicker furniture that had been painted white several times in its lifetime and was chipping off everywhere. All of it would have to be replaced. By clean he meant the place didn’t smell. By charm he meant the walls were made out of wood paneling and there were pictures of boats everywhere. But the view was good. Really good, actually. The lot of land the house sat on was large and I liked the location. Plus, this one happened to be in my price range.
Could I afford something better? Yes, easily. But I already owned a multi-million dollar home in California—a home I loved. Buying a second house was already a big enough gamble in itself. I didn’t want it to also be an expensive gamble.
“Let me look at the condition of the bedrooms,” I said to David. Then I bolted up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
But the real truth was…I needed a moment alone to think. And—surprise, surprise—the upstairs was equally as mediocre as the downstairs. Nothing stood out, but none of it was too horrible. Still, unease had my stomach churning.
What if I was making a huge mistake? This was insane. Right?
I was buying a house in a town I knew next to nothing about. All because I had a crush on a girl. It was crazy. I wanted to date Ellie. I wanted her to know I was serious. But I didn’t want to freak her the fuck out either. Hell, I was starting to the freak myself the fuck out.
I sat down on the master bed, cautiously because the bedding scared me a little, and dropped my head into my hands, more confused than ever.
“Here’s what I think you should do,” David said, startling me by appearing in the doorway. “You buy this place.”
“Seriously?”
David was the practical one, the one with the kids and the family, the one who only took calculated risks and always made the right choices.
Not me.
Hell, I had a scar on my face to prove it too. Because I ran my mouth once and ended up provoking some asshole in a bar. He’d smashed his beer bottle down on the counter and when he’d swung at me with what was left of the glass, he’d nearly taken my eye. All because I couldn’t shut up about something stupid. Then that man had pulled out a gun. David had been there. David had talked the man down and some sense into an intoxicated me. That night I’d walked away needing a few stitches but lucky to be alive. That had proved it—I could be incredibly reckless, but never David.
So it shocked the hell out of me that he would even suggest I buy.
David rubbed his hands together and then walked over to the window. He stood very still, watching the waves silently crash against the sand outside. “Susan the realtor said this place is available for rent immediately. Not many of the others can offer such a quick move in. You can be in here today if you take this one. You’ll have to rent first no matter what because buying takes time—between inspections and negotiations, it could be a few months before you officially own this place. But you can put in an offer in the meantime. The house might not be the best, but the view is fabulous and the floorplan has potential. With some renovations this place could be amazing.”
“What if it doesn’t work out with Ellie?” I asked.
In actuality that was my biggest fear.
“Then you end up with a rental property. With some work, this place could have great earning potential. Think of it as an investment either way. Besides, I like Ellie. She’s the type of girl you gamble on. I feel it. Don’t you?”
I let out a breath. “Yes.” He was right. Ellie was worth the risk. “Let’s do this. Go get the realtor lady.”
“Her name is Susan.”
“Whatever. Go get Susan.”
* * *
David and I spent the rest of the afternoon shoppin
g and running errands. We found a specialty furniture store within a few miles of my new place. And in under an hour, David helped me buy everything I needed to replace all the wicker furniture—all of it set to be delivered later in the week. They’d even haul away all the old stuff. Where was this place in LA when I needed it?
After the furniture store, we stocked up on food, toiletries, cleaning supplies, and all the basics. Thank goodness this town had a Walmart or we would have been screwed. Because we also needed sheets, towels, pillows, and about a million other things. It was a damn long day and I was exhausted by the end of it.
It was remarkable the things my brother could accomplish. I’d known he was the perfect person to bring here to help—but he exceeded my expectations and then some today.
“Tomorrow I’m relaxing,” he sleepily informed me as he headed off to the bedroom he’d claimed as his own. “I’m kid free for once in my life and I’m taking advantage of it.”
“Fair enough. And thank you for everything. You’re amazing.”
“Anytime, little brother. Goodnight,” he said, closing his door and yawning at the same time.
I went to my new bedroom. The sheets, comforter, and pillows were all brand new. And it felt really nice knowing that this was mine. Well, nearly. Susan the realtor was drawing up the papers and once I submitted an offer it might take months—but I was on my way to owning this place. The whole house needed a lot more attention, but I felt good about my decision to buy.
Snuggling into my new bed, I felt almost euphoric. Because it was finally the end of the day so that meant it was finally time to call the one person I’d been thinking about nonstop since I’d left her at lunch time—Ellie.
Grabbing my phone off the night stand, I texted her before calling. She hadn’t texted me all day, so I wanted to make sure she wasn’t busy first.
Me: Can I call you? Is now a good time?
Her reply came quickly.
Ellie: No.
What?
I waited for her to text again, with some sort of an explanation, but that one horrible word was all she gave me. Opening a new internet page on my phone, I quickly googled myself. Who the hell knows what sort of slander she might have read online today? Because I couldn’t think of any other explanation for such a cold reply from her.
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