“I've just made fresh. Come in, sit down and let us see what we may see…” She bustled about, preparing a cup and saucer for the Reverend. “Hariman starting to show his hand, is he?”
Reverand Phullaposi nodded, plonked himself down on one of the cushioned stools, and told Ruby exactly what Dave had relayed to him. Ruby poured them both a calming herbal tea and sipped at hers while listening closely to each word he said.
After he had finished she sat quietly for a couple of minutes, thinking.
“That was exactly, word for word what Dave said?”
The Reverend nodded.
Silence.
Ruby continued to sip her tea, Chen swam silently around and the Reverend sat looking from one to another, waiting for something, anything to be said (or inferred) that might help him.
Ruby took a last sip from her tea, placed the cup and saucer carefully on the table, stood up slowly, and calmly put her hand on his shoulder.
“Err, Reverend Phullaposi? I feel I have just received a calling...”
The Reverend could not believe his ears:
“Really? That is such good news! I knew it would happen! I am overjoyed to think of the happiness when one returns to the flock, one is thrilled! I simply must tell...”
“No, no, no, no, nooooo,” interrupted Ruby, “I meant, can I borrow your loo?”
“The loo?”
The Reverend looked slightly confused; then the penny dropped, as he realised Ruby wasn't announcing her evangelical conversion, simply her need to commune with Nature. He began to nod his head vigorously as if he'd understood all along.
“The loo. Naturally! Of course, of course, of course, of course!”
He fumbled about in his pocket and handed over a small silvery key. Ruby insisted that the Reverend did not so much as move an inch from this tent until she returned. She told him she would be back presently with a greater clarity of mind, spirit and perhaps even an added bonus, to boot...
Then she sprinted off, without waiting for a response.
Which was just as well, because the Reverend didn't quite know what to say to that.
He sat back on the stool and decided that the best course of action was to do exactly as she had told him. Thus far, Ruby had, sooner or later, been proved correct at each turn, and he did not see any good reason why that should change now. He poured himself another tea and made himself comfortable on the stool, telling himself to sit tight, wait and, God willing, all would be well.
Chen, meanwhile, continued to say nothing; he just sat at the bottom of the crystal ball and observed the chaos gradually unfolding around him.
Chapter 16
A Revelation For Ruby
Ruby made her way to the outhouse. It was a small, solid, rough-hewn stone building, about the size of a medium shed, or perhaps a small garage; maybe somewhere between the two. A large old tree overhung it, plants and creepers had grown over quite a good deal of the structure during the time it had stood there, and it retained that dank, damp, earthy smell that only places like this or old cellars ever have. Exactly what it had originally been built for is uncertain, but sometime, during the course of its history, somebody (nobody was ever really sure quite who) had installed a lavatory. The outhouse in the rear of the churchyard, a little too surrounded by the cemetery for some people’s liking, but it was a place that the Reverend liked; where he could find solitude and read. It was his private place. As Ruby approached, she noticed an old weather-beaten sign, carelessly nailed above the doorway; it read simply 'Privy'.
Ruby slid the small key into the lock, clicked it open and stepped inside. Strange. Even though it was just an old, simple, stone outhouse, there was an air about it; an... 'atmosphere'. And this wasn’t only due to the less-than-hygienic habits of some of the previous users.
Something scratched at the back of her mind. A memory, half-buried, trying to claw its way to the surface. Something about this place. Something had happened here. Something to do with Malcolm Oldthwaite... For a moment, the world and everything in it seemed to go in and out of focus, and the knowledge was on the tip of her tongue, and then... then...
No. Whatever it was, it was gone.
Funny that Malcolm should come to mind, though. Where was he, anyway? He was supposed to be tracking down some books for her, wasn't he?
Speaking of which...
On one of the walls, to the left hand side of the loo, was a rough, no-nonsense shelf, upon which were stacked the various books that the Reverend had been reading in moments of 'ease' and 'contemplation' as he preferred to describe his natural activities in there.
Ruby read the spines of the books. Each more revealing than the last.
“Hmm,” she thought, “This is Simon's private spot for meditation and learning, a place of personal concentration and pondering...”
Then it clicked in her brain. The pieces fell into place.
Here she was; this was the spot. This is why Hariman was here. This was the age old prophecy.
This was...
The Privy of Simon!
How could she not have realised? Hariman would not have chosen somewhere big or impressive to enter this world. He would wish to enter quietly, and take over by stealth; not by force; not if he could avoid it. No. If evil wanted to make its way onto this plane, it would do so by the back door, via a place that nobody would ever give a second thought…
This Privy of Simon was a portal, a gateway if you will, between our world and a totally different plane of existence, where evil ruled and where pain and viciousness were the accepted order of things. Reverend Phullaposi's naïve esoteric readings and dabblings had opened a pathway to this plane, or unlocked a once sealed portal, through which Hariman, Devizes and Nutter could invite and unleash all the forces of darkness and chaos.
“Fool of a meddling Priest!” seethed Ruby. “He should have consulted me before blindly stumbling about in such arcane matters – or at the very least before everything got so out of hand! Bah! No matter. What is done is done. No use crying over spilled ectoplasm. The important thing is to try and sort this mess out. Now... What to do? What to do? What to do?”
Ruby left the privy; carefully shutting the door, but being careful not to fully close it. She thought they may need this as a bolt hole soon enough. From there she went into the church to seek out a certain item that the Reverend had informed her could be found up near the font. She located it quickly, put it in the little velvet bag that hung from her cassock and made her way back to the tent. En route, she stopped off at one of the other fête attractions, the bring-and-buy, bric-a-brac, and white elephant stall. Although trade there was busy, with many people picking up this object or that, haggling over a few pennies here or there, it didn't take Ruby long to find what she needed and to purchase it, for a mere fifty pence; a real bargain, as she was heard to remark to the stall holder.
When she returned to her tent, the Reverend, true to his word, had, quite literally not moved an inch. Ruby sat down and brusquely informed him that when this was all over – if any of them escaped with their faculties intact – she was going to have very, very, VERY stern words with him about what may be considered fit material to read when 'at ease' and what, most definitely, may not!
Ruby placed her velvet bag on the table before them, and took out the object she had retrieved from the Church – the tiny Holy Communion Set – and her recently-acquired “bargain” purchase – a metal letter-opening knife in a rather ornate Celtic design.
“What on earth do we want with that old dagger?” asked the Reverend.
“It's not a dagger, it's now an athame. Have none of your nocturnal nosey readings taught you anything about the way of Wicca or the arcane?”
Ruby knew it was time to bring the Reverend properly into the picture; to make him fully aware of just how stupid he had been. She told him to remain seated, while she explained that, through his ignorance, he had re-opened a portal through the Privy of Simon between two planes of existence tha
t should never, ever collide. No doubt David had stumbled upon the existence of this portal while clearing weeds from the cemetery and the surrounding area, possibly while he was moving tools in and out of the cupboard in the Privy, or, equally likely, the Reverend's own readings had helped cause a crack in the continuum, and then it was really only a matter of time before somebody suitably susceptible was careless enough to go for a call of nature and find themselves usurped by something of an unholy nature at one and the same time.
“Due to your unwise activities within the privy,” Ruby summarised, “You have opened a particularly nasty can of worms that we now need to shut – quickly, tightly and as permanently as we possibly can.”
The Reverend looked increasingly abashed as Ruby continued:
“I shall now name and consecrate this item.”
She indicated the athame.
“It shall be dedicated to Saint Michael. The Communion Set one may safely assume has already been covered with blessings countless times over the years. After I have done this, you shall take the talisman into your keeping and I shall take the athame. I fear that we may have nave need of them far more than I had previously calculated. Reverend – would you please be so kind as to find Pearl and tell her to come to me. Then locate David and prevail upon him in your strongest manner to renounce Hariman (or whatever he now chooses to call himself) and all his works. You MUST convince him to do so, and do so immediately, for his soul is in mortal danger. Now go. Make haste, man!”
The Reverend did not need to be told twice. Without another word, he jumped from the stool and speedily left the tent. He had been an utter fool, but it wasn't too late to try to put things right...
**********
As soon as he had gone, Ruby picked up a blank piece of paper and a marker pen. In bold, clear letters she wrote a sign for outside the tent so she would not be disturbed; it read: ‘Fortune Teller. Closed due to unforeseen circumstances’.
Assured now that her concentration would not be broken for at least a few precious moments she began to prepare...
First of all, she cleared the table of everything bar some incense in a holder, a small bowl of water, the athame, and the small vial, goblet and wafer recepticle. At the point of the small table that was furthest to the North, she placed a pinch of salt, sprinkled upon a small cob of bread, to represent the Earth. To the South, she placed, and lit, a red candle in a small candlestick, to denote Fire. To the East she scattered a few lavender heads, to represent Air. To the West she placed an earthenware chalice of red wine to signify Water.
Ruby then turned to the East and, with her index finger drew a pentagram in the air in a specific way which invoked the Air Spirit. As she did so, a bright blue neon line seemed to emit from her finger. She then brought her hand up to her chest and thrust it out sharply, stabbing the centre of the glowing blue star that was now seemingly hanging in the air, and intoned:
“Yeh-hoh-wah!”
She then quarter-turned on the spot to face the South, still keeping her arm and index finger outstretched, tracing the neon blue line through the air as she did so. She then formed another blue star in the air, this time in such a fashion as to invoke fire. Thrusting her hand, dagger-like to the midpoint of the hanging star, she spoke in a serious, clear tone:
“Ah-don-eye.”
Still keeping her old arm thoroughly straight, Ruby rotated a further quarter-turn to the West and drew yet another blue star in the air, again changing formula so that this invoked water. Stabbing the middle of the star, she said:
“Eh-ee-yay.”
She then made yet another quarter-turn until she was facing North. She marked her final blue star in the air, summoning Earth to her aid. As she finished drawing, she hurled forth her wizened old arm shouting:
“Ah-goo-la!”
Her arm still outstretched, Ruby turned one more quarter on her heel and completed the circle.
She was standing now in a pulsating blue circle of light, punctuated by shimmering blue pentagrams, humming with positive power and energy.
Ruby stretched out her arms so that she stood in a 'T' shape. Arms open wide, feeling the power radiate to her, she shouted joyfully.
“Before me Raphael!”
A great yellow orb of light with a violet aura appeared before her.
“Behind me Gabriel!”
Another orb appeared, this time an intense blue light with an orange aura. It throbbed at her back.
“On my right Michael!”
Again, an orb of light sprang forth, this one bright crimson, edged with green.
“On my left Uriel!”
A final orb grew at her left; an amazing green with a red and rust-brown ring flitting around it.
Each orb had its own note, and as each appeared, it was as if a holy choir was coming together; celestial voices, each in harmony with one another.
Ruby waited a few seconds to take in what was happening around her, and then continued with the rite.
“Above me, the Father!”
At once a huge hexagram of two interlocking triangles appeared, and the choir, if possible, sounded even sweeter.
“Below me, the Mother!”
Around her ankles another flaming hexagram manifested itself.
“Within me, the Eternal Flame!”
Ruby looked around her at the marvellous coloured orbs, pentagrams and hexagrams all singing with power. She could not help but feel awestruck. Finding a measure within the angelic voices which enveloped her, she faced back to the East and chanted...
“Ee-ah-oh! Mahl-kooth! Veh-Geb-oo-rah! Veh-Ged-oo-lah!”
No sooner were these mystically charged words spoken, than Ruby felt the full might of the light surging through her and through the implements she wished to endow with greater glory and power.
She cupped her hands to her heart and shouted for all she was worth:
“Leh-Oh-lahm, Ah-men!”
There was a sound like that of a tape-recording in reverse, and then…
Everything...
Stopped.
Ruby was back in her tent. Everything was exactly as it had been before she started; all of the orbs, lights and stars were gone.
The only indication that anything had happened at all was that both the silver topped set of Holy Relics and the athame both now looked as new as the day that they had been first made.
That's the best thing about High Magick; nobody knows that it has been used, except those who know.
“Wow! That was some ride!” Ruby smiled as she straightened her scarf and tucked away the strands of hair that had become loose during the ritual.
She heard the curtains behind her rustle, and turned to see Pearl poking her head through:
“Overtures and beginners, please?”
“Soon. Indeed, I sense that a certain proverbial fat lady may be warming up her vocal chords even as we speak. Now, please, do sit down Pearl, while I bring you up to date with things...”
Ruby swiftly relayed her recent discoveries to her sister, while Chen telepathically forwarded the information on to Eddie, Magpie Jack, and, with considerably less success, to Tobias.
“Like you said to the Reverend, a very nasty can of worms,” Pearl observed, once Ruby's tale was finished.
“Indeed – and the trouble with opening a can of worms is that you often need a much bigger can to seal them all back up in again.”
“Mm... Or you could just go fishing, of course...”
“Precisely. If nothing else, we have plenty of bait for our hook... And speaking of nasty, wriggly creatures, what are Devizes and Nutter up to?”
“Not a great deal. Browsing the stalls, same as everybody else. It's as if they're waiting for something.”
“Yes, and whatever it is, it can't be anything good. You had better go back to keeping an eye on them, just in case.”
“Will do.”
“Meantime, I'll finish up here, and then we can get to work. Hopefully, we'll be able to save the world just in t
ime for tea.”
“And scones,” Pearl laughed. “Don't forget the scones!”
Pearl left, and Ruby began checking through the contents of the little velvet bag that hung at her hip. It would not do to go up against Hariman and the others without a full armoury of tricks in her utility belt...
Chapter 17
Hariman Is Offered A Monopoly
Ruby was just heading out through the curtain-doorway of the tent in pursuit of her sister, when Hariman suddenly appeared and pushed her back in, shoving her heavily down onto her stool.
“Quite amusing. A fortune teller, shut due to unforeseen circumstances. Stay seated, witch. I want you to tell me my fortune.” He eyed her with loathing.
Ruby sat there fuming; she didn't take kindly to being shoved around.
“Come on. Bring out your pathetic little deck of cards!”
Ruby stared frostily at him and started to shuffle the pack. She laid them out in a pentagram spread, one for each point of the star and a sixth in the centre.
“Well, if we are to have a reading, would you care for some tea?” she asked drily.
Hariman looked at her with renewed hatred.
“Tea? From you? What kind of a nutter do you think I am?”
“If you mix with Nutters, you tend to find that it rubs off on you,” Ruby said with an air of gaiety as she finished laying the cards. “The pentagram spread is a spread of my own design. It is a simple and quick way of reading as each card is given quite a specific task to answer.
“The first card represents the past, the second, obstacles to your desire; the third pertains to the situation as it is now, the fourth to what is being done by people behind the scenes which may affect your plan; the fifth shows a person or event that will influence your question and the final card is the eventual outcome. Is that all perfectly crystal clear? I did say it slowly, as I know you have a habit of ...”
“Shut up and make the reading, witch”. Hariman was getting more and more annoyed each second he spent in Ruby's company.
The Dave Hinchy Code Page 10