Shades Beneath (Shattered Souls Book 1)

by Chrissy Jaye

  My chin was grabbed roughly, and I felt strong fingers dig into my jaw, forcing my face away from the violence at the door. The creeping feeling disappeared almost as soon as my eyes locked with his. I sucked in a deep breath as my face was forced into his chest. The scent of sandalwood and something slightly sweet hit my senses and I melted into him.

  "Don't look at it. It can hurt you if you give it power over you." The voice carried a rough timber to it but rang strong and clear. I heard the words, but they didn’t make sense. They slid through my mind and vanished. While my shaking didn't stop, I felt my body calm down in increments. "We need to leave. Can you walk?"

  Could I? I attempted to move my legs but stumbled when I tried and slumped further into him. It was answer enough for him. He swept me up into his arms, still keeping my face tucked into his shirt. I didn't know where we were going or how we would get away, but my instincts screamed for me to trust him.

  He strode across the room and then there was a flash of light followed by an uproar of commotion. People yelled instructions while I heard hurried footsteps all around us. Someone brushed by us and my skin ignited, causing me to cry out. It seared into me as my nails bit into the man carrying me.

  "Hush, Little Song." I felt a hand on my back, instantly quelling the fire as he pressed his face into my hair. A wave of dizziness swept through me. "Rest. We'll talk soon." My eyes shut without my consent and I drifted.

  Chapter Five

  I was weightless, floating through moments of quiet before it registered that I could think. As quickly as it struck me, the darkness melted away and the quiet gave way to the sounds of crickets. Aromas filled my nose, a mixture of honey and grass. Looking down, I found my feet surrounded by lavender blades of grass. Above my feet, a sheath of fabric coated my body. It looked like orange silk. I instantly hated it. Orange and lavender didn't go together at all.

  "Why not change it?" The voice startled me. It sounded like me, and also not like me at all. I whipped around causing the orange fabric to swirl around my body, but I didn't focus on it for long as my head came up and instantly found who I was looking for. Myself.

  Everything about her looked exactly like me except reversed because it wasn't like looking in a mirror. This was what I looked like to everyone else but me. She had the same dark hair that fell to her waist and the same hazel eyes set into a pale face. She even had the same beauty mark above her lip that I did. Except on her, all of this appeared beautiful. Even this ugly orange dress looked good on her. It hugged her curves, making her look like a woman. It made me hate her even more.

  "Can I do that?" I asked her, barely containing a sneer that wanted to surface. She smiled at me, but it looked wrong. It wasn’t my easy smile, it was too poised and graceful for that. No. This wasn't me. It was someone else. It didn’t matter. I knew who she was, almost as soon as I heard her voice. I fucking knew.

  "You're her then." I didn't ask. I stated it. She was me, but she was also Bea. We were finally face to face.

  "You can do anything you want here. You and others." She let out a breathy laugh, one I used when I was nervous. "You'll figure all that out eventually." She stopped talking abruptly, all her amusement gone in the blink of an eye. Instead, she just stared at me and I at her.

  I frowned at her. I had a lot of things to say, but suddenly no voice to say them with. No sooner had I thought it then it registered on her face and her gaze fell to the ground. God, how many times had I seen that in myself. The overwhelming defeat that stared back at me in the mirror.

  "This isn't how I imagined this going," she said quietly.

  "No, I don't imagine it is," I said back, just as softly. This was an exhausting dream. I stopped studying her and focused on the scene around us. It spread outward around us in every direction for about twenty feet before fading into a deep charcoal fog. It swirled angrily in some places while in others it moved smoothly, unhurried, as if nothing mattered at all. The ground was covered in the same lavender grass. There were a few trees that looked almost normal except for the colors of the leaves which ranged in every hue of the rainbow.

  "Am I tripping on acid?"

  She laughed then, shaking her head.

  "No. You just haven’t been here in a long time.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her, focusing all my frustration into that one look.

  "Whose fault is that?" I snapped and turned away from her, walking toward the fog, but with each step I took, more grass appeared. I'd hoped that I could just walk into it and disappear but that clearly wasn't going to be the case. After only a few steps, I could hear her following me as more trees appeared, and then some beds of flowers until I came to a graveled path and stopped. "Do you have to follow me?"

  "I don't have too, but we have things to talk about."

  I knew we did. I just didn’t want to do it now. I was too angry. I made a point not to talk to anyone if I was upset.

  It was a rule Aunt Lauralin put in place after my first couple of tantrums. I’d said awful things to her. Things I didn’t mean. It was a good rule to follow, even when confronting another part of yourself. But then again, what could I say to her that she probably didn’t know already.

  "Now you want to talk?" I nearly yelled at her, surprising even myself as I spun to face her. To her credit, she only flinched. If I'd been her, greeted by so much suppressed rage, I would have cowered into the dirt. "How many times did I beg you? All these years and suddenly you want to be my bestie and have a chat. No thanks."

  With that, I whirled around again, trying to convince myself I didn’t care and stepped onto the path. I didn't hear her follow me, but I felt her at my back. She was like a severed limb that kept reminding me she was there, a string of neurons firing off signals to something that didn’t exist.

  Except she did exist. Even if this was a dream. She existed now. Forged by fear to protect me. But she didn’t protect me. Not really.

  As I followed the path, more landmarks appeared, spiraling into existence out of the moody fog. Different types of trees, all with their psychedelic colored leaves. Flowers of every kind, some I knew and some I didn't, lined the path. There were statues of fairies and other types of folklore as well, but I didn’t pay any attention to them. I was too busy sorting out my thoughts. I wondered briefly why the gravel didn't hurt my feet but then again, it seemed to be a dream of some sort, so it made sense there was no pain. I kept walking, both annoyed and amazed that it didn't seem to end as I grew more exhausted by the second.

  But then it did. One second, I was on the path and the next, I was standing next to a well. Literally. It was made of brick, complete with an arched roof with wooden tiles. Parts of it were covered in moss and cracked in places, but it still looked in good condition.

  The gravel path wrapped around it, edged by more flower beds and towering glass walls so distorted, I didn’t understand how they were upright at all. It peaked at the top, coming together to form a dome with a hole at the center, high above. Beyond the glass, I could see the fog twisting and churning, sometimes revealing trees only to swallow them up and replace them with arches or statues.

  Thank God for small favors. I’d be lying if I didn’t say the trees freaked me out the most. I gripped the rim of the well, the cold stone bit into my fingers. I took a deep breath, marveling at how much better it made me feel.

  "It's the well. When you get depleted, it brings you here, so you can recharge." Bea stood next to me. Instead of the orange dress, we were both dressed in matching black leggings and a soft pink sweater. We even wore a pair of gloves similar to those I inherited from my mother.

  Great. We were matching.

  I stepped back from her, not wanting to be so close. She looked like she might follow for a second but then changed her mind. Her shoulders drooped as she dipped her head down, furrowing her brow in pain. The vulnerability of it shocked me. She looked so lonely and so familiar, my heart clenched, and I stumbled backward, away from the well. The back of my legs met
stone and then I was sitting on one of six benches that surrounded the well. They hadn’t been there a moment ago, but suddenly they were there.

  "Where are we?" I asked her, no longer angry. I couldn’t be, not when she reminded me so much of myself. Of how lonely I was all the damn time. I offered her a small smile, hoping to draw her out again. I wanted the strong being from before, not this wilted flower. I craved her strength, wanted it for myself.

  A tingling sensation started in my lower back. I couldn’t describe what it felt like, but it was warm, and it begged to be released, I just didn’t know how to let it go. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the sensation as it grew; it crawled up and down my limbs before gathering itself into a white-hot pain. It exploded from me without direction, without thought. My eyes popped open when I felt something in my hands.

  A curved sword was clutched in my grasp. I was so startled that I didn’t recognize it at first, but it was so familiar. Like I’d held it in my hands a thousand times. It looked exactly like the one Bea had inked onto our back. Once I recognized it, I let go of it, like it might set my hand on fire. Instead of falling to the ground, it vanished and reappeared in her hands.

  "Finally," she whispered so low, I almost didn't hear it, but I couldn't look at her fully. Whatever was moving through me was still happening. Rose bushes sprouted in the flower beds, their vines spreading across every available surface. They seemed to choke out all the flowers except for the few I had a name for. Lilacs, lilies, some snapdragons. Every flower turned either white or red.

  The vines continued to grow, forming arches over the gravel pathway that forked off the circle in six different directions. It formed branches of twisted vines that skimmed up the glass walls like support beams and joined at the apex. The benches morphed into chairs before my eyes and then changed to small thrones. I stared at it all with wide eyes until the vines twisted around each armrest and stopped. It happened in a matter of moments and then it was done. If I had blinked, I would have missed it.

  The sensation in my back slowly fizzled out. I had a feeling I knew why, but I didn’t try to look. I was too busy freaking the fuck out.

  “What the hell is this?" I spoke out loud, but I was really asking myself.

  "It’s time to wake up. You’ve set things in motion," Bea said, a beautiful smile overtaking her face. She came forward then and pressed the sword into my hands. "Keep this with you."

  Then, I was floating again.

  "Are you fucking serious?" an angry voice yelled several feet from me. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I knew I was awake. The dream I'd been having was fading quickly. It was replaced by the warmth of someone’s arms wrapped around me. "She's going to be pissed."

  The arms constricted around me and I felt someone’s breath in my hair, sending tingles along my spine. I wanted to pull away almost as much as I wanted to stay put. I wasn’t used to being touched, but this one was familiar. I just couldn’t place it yet. I felt the puff of air on my scalp again as the man holding me sighed into my hair. "I doubt it. It was an emergency. She'll forgive me."

  "You don't know that. We were told to hold off." I knew both voices, yet I couldn't place them or where I knew them from. Then my brain woke up completely and I jerked upright as my eyes snapped open. I fell out of the cot I'd been lying on, my legs tangling with a man’s as I tried to bring myself upright. My shoulder slammed hard into the packed dirt floor. I continued to roll, trying to take the tension off my shoulder but an arm snaked around my waist. I was lifted into the air briefly before being set down again on the floor and released. I sputtered as my eyes roved around my surroundings, trying to make it make sense.

  "Hey, calm down," Ford said, reaching out to help me up, but I scooted back from him, hitting the sides of a canvas tent. The walls shook violently as I hit them, forcing me to stop. Instead, I stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't be here. It was impossible. I'd been in Maine and he was back in New York.

  "Aria."

  I ripped my gaze from Ford’s gray eyes only to have my own lock onto someone else. Deep blue eyes, darker than Fords, stared back at me. Where Fords eyes were gray-blue like a storm over the sea, these were the color of lapis, so rich in color it was almost unnatural. The man they belonged to had chestnut brown hair and was cut short, ending in waves that fell just below his ears and across his forehead.

  At first, his face looked delicate, almost feminine, but as he cocked his head in curiosity, I caught sight of a shadow on his lower jaw. Despite his delicate features, he had a good chin and I could see myself draped over him in a new fantasy where we were completely naked, he was that breathtaking. His eyes steadied me as I searched his face. It was familiar, but it took him asking for me to remember why.

  "Do you remember the motel?"

  It took a moment for his words to register, but when they did, I nodded. I did remember the motel room. How I waited there for hours staring out the window, watching the night pass. How the phone never rang despite how much I wanted it to. And violet eyes through a splintered door. The memory made me shiver.

  Ford stepped closer to me, squatting down to the dirt floor before settling onto the ground only a few inches from me. I could feel his body heat searing into my skin, but it wasn't unpleasant. I wasn't afraid that he would touch me by accident. He knew the rules. I glanced at the other man, aware that he’d already touched me. It hadn’t hurt at the time, but I had been afraid of something much worse.

  "Where am I?" I directed my question to Ford while darting my eyes back and forth between him and the man on the cot. The other hadn't moved an inch. He observed me with a blank expression. His indifference unnerved me, especially since only moments ago, I'd been wrapped in his arms and his gaze had implored me to trust him.

  Ha. A man had touched me, and I hadn't felt like the skin was searing off my body. I needed to tell Mia. A flash of rage filled me as soon as I thought of her. Oh man, I was pissed at her. When I got home, I was going to scream until my vocal cords broke.

  Ford flinched backward from me when I snapped my gaze to him and stayed there. I watched the muscles in his shoulders bunch with tension, and while normally a simple display would have me mentally drooling, I couldn't think straight. I was too angry.

  "Where. Am. I?" I bit out each word, controlled and toneless.

  "You're with The Summer Court," the second man replied, his rough voice, so at odds with his features, sent spirals of warmth through me. There was also an inflection in his tone, like he was measuring his words. He glanced at Ford just once, telling him something with his eyes I didn't understand before focusing back on me again. He still looked blank, but I could see something new in his eyes now. A wariness most people had when I acted oddly, or they learned that I saw a shrink. I narrowed my eyes at him before focusing on Ford again.

  "I need to talk to Mia. Now." He knew Mia from the gym. She came in with me a few times to work out though she hated it there. She and Ford mostly ignored each other, but there were a few times I caught them talking in hushed voices after I’d gone to the bathroom or been changing in the locker room. I hadn't thought much of it at the time. It hadn't been sexual in the slightest, which was a miracle in and of itself considering Mia’s track record, but there had been tension between them. I figured it was because despite all her teasing, she knew I liked him and didn’t want to upset me by flirting.

  "Aria," Ford said gently, his shoulders relaxing as his eyes filled with pity. My stomach dropped in that moment. I ceased to breathe or even think. I willed him to just finish. Nothing good ever followed a tone like that. Even before he opened his mouth to speak, I wanted him to stop talking. It was a crazy feeling, to want someone to both shut up and speak at the same time. I knew why within seconds. "She's missing. Your aunt too."

  Chapter Six

  I sat in stunned silence for a long time after that. Every bad thought I'd had in the last day slipped out of me like sand in a clenched fist. I was wound so tightly, I barely registered whe
n the other man slipped from his position on the cot, sharing a look with Ford before he swept me up in his arms and exited the tent.

  I can't tell you what I saw from there. It was all a blur. Things should have registered with me, like the fact that the man holding me had pointed ears. I hadn't noticed when I'd first studied him because his curls had covered them. I heard him and Ford exchanging words as we glided through the tent city, but I didn't hear them. It didn’t matter what either of them said. My world was crumbling beneath me. It had been for days. I just hadn’t known it then.

  Missing. My family was missing. My heart clenched tighter and my ribs ached. It was from hyperventilating, but I ignored it. Instead, my brain played a slide show of all my favorite memories.

  Mia and I dancing in Aunty’s backyard while it rained for a week straight. We'd been so bored after being cooped up in the house. It had been Mia’s idea and we both got sick afterward, but it had been so much fun.

  Aunt Lauralin baking in the kitchen, lecturing us on the proper way to make a soufflé. She gave us our own ceramic dishes to practice in. Mia’s had burned and mine refused to rise, but we’d laughed so hard when they came out of the oven.

  My eighteenth birthday party when they took me into the city for a fancy dinner. The way Mia's eyes sparkled right before I opened my birthday gift in the restaurant only to find a vibrator that she promptly named Peter. The shock on my face and the overwhelming embarrassment had made them laugh so hard.

  How Aunt Lauralin laughed at Mia putting makeup on me for the first time. I’d jerked so hard when she attacked me with eyeliner that I had a smudge from the corner of my eye to my temple. Mia did her own to match mine saying it was just what sisters did. I’ll never forget how my chest had warmed, how she made me feel so special without even trying.