by Chrissy Jaye
I jumped when a door crashed down the hall followed by yelling and the sound of breaking furniture. I looked around in alarm, trying to find something else to cover myself with, but I couldn’t find my clothes.
“What is happening?” I whispered into the room, completely dumbfounded. Where were my clothes? Or his? I remembered going to bed completely dressed in warm clothes. Sometimes, if I got too hot in the night, I’d strip down to my underwear, but I never slept naked.
Another crash sounded, closer this time, followed by more hurried footsteps. Ford flew by the bedroom door with Asher close on his heels and Cole bringing up the rear. Asher had completely lost the blanket this time and while I couldn’t see much, I saw enough to tell me that some things that bounce should not be seen.
“It wasn’t me! I haven’t even seen her since last night!” I heard Ford cry out before an unearthly squeal of pain rang out as another door crashed open somewhere deeper in the house.
The sound pushed me into action. It had taken me a few minutes to catch up, but once I got there, I knew it was because he thought Ford had stripped us in our sleep. Ford would never do something so cruel to me. And I had a sinking feeling that this was entirely on me. It pissed me off to see them fighting.
“Stop it, Ash!” I heard Cole bark as another unmanly sound carried toward me. I gripped the sheet around me as I stood and marched out of the room toward the commotion. I couldn’t let Asher hurt Ford. “For Maker’s sake, you know he can’t lie! Calm the fuck down.”
I found the room quickly, cresting the doorway just in time to see Asher hit Cole in the face with an elbow before he turned back to Ford and started punching him. Ford lay still on the ground, trying to shield himself from the worst of it, but there was blood already. His face was locked in a grimace as he tried to defend himself without hurting Ash. I moved toward them but stopped when I felt an awareness at my back and twisted around.
Bastian stood in the doorway, taking in the same scene as me. He paused for only a brief moment to take in my state of undress. I felt something zip along my skin, examining me, but as quickly as it came, it vanished. Bastian stepped forward, his palms already glowing as he waded between his fighting brothers. He muttered some words I couldn’t understand before Asher sagged backward. Cole latched onto him and dragged him backward and away from Ford while Bastian bent down to check him over.
Asher lay spread eagle in Coles arms, breathing heavily. His face no longer twisted with rage, but horror. I could feel his shame like a physical wave in the air. Cole noticed me before Asher did, and dropped his hands to cover Asher’s manhood, as if I cared about something like that after witnessing a fist fight between friends. Even if I did, I’d seen more than enough already so it didn’t even matter.
Asher noticed me next, the blood draining from his face before he burst out laughing. It was a deranged sound. My head reared back at the sudden shift in mood. Pissed off to horrified and now hysterical. These Fae made no sense at all.
“All of you are psychotic. I thought I was crazy, but no… this. No wonder our sixth didn’t trust you to tell me shit. She probably ran to get away from your barbaric behavior!” I stormed from the room after having said my piece and returned to the room where I’d slept. I dropped the sheet at the door and searched under the bed for my clothes. I didn’t think I would find them, but I wanted to be sure.
Satisfied they were gone, I moved to the dresser across from the bed and pulled open the first drawer my hand touched. It was full of men’s clothing, but I didn’t care. I grabbed the first pair of pants, relieved to find they tied in the front and then found a dark thin shirt that would at least hide the fact I didn’t have a bra.
“Um, I’ll come back.” I whirled to find Cole standing in the doorway, his head angled away from me. I should have been embarrassed, standing there completely naked, but I was too angry.
“Don’t you fucking dare leave,” my voice cracked on the last word, a sick broken thing that morphed into a silent sob. He stayed put, keeping his eyes averted as I pulled on my stolen clothes. Satisfied he wouldn’t move, I started screaming my thoughts in my head. It was a mass of anger, embarrassment, and shame that swirled around without coherence. The pants were way too large for me, but I pulled the drawstring forcefully, cinching it painfully tight before tying it in a bow. I barely winced as it pinched my skin.
Was it that terrible to wake up naked next to me? I doubt we did anything but sleep, but my God. It didn't warrant attacking someone else. Plus, I think I would have felt it if Ford had used magic on me again, no matter how asleep I was. I'm a light sleeper. I would have woken up.
I roughly dragged the shirt over my head and stomped to the bed, stopping just long enough to pull the sheet with me and set about making the bed. I wasn't an overly clean person. Mia was the neat freak. I only cleaned when I was upset. I needed something to keep me busy or I'd hunt Asher down and slap him in the face. Or kiss him into oblivion. I wasn’t sure which. Either way, it would be violent.
I was so busy screaming my thoughts through my head that I didn’t notice Cole as he came up behind me. He was inches away when a tingle went up my spine. It happened in an instant though. I straightened, about to turn around, but his arms wrapped around me from behind, and pinned my back to his chest. Something inside me slid home, like one of those wood block puzzles where you had to move the pieces just so to create the right pattern. I felt something shift, something that felt so right, made me feel whole and safe and so precious all at the same time. His warmth seeped into me, locking me into place after so many moments where I’d been adrift.
“Stop it,” he whispered against my hair, his lips tickling my ear as he spoke. A zap of electricity went through me, filling me with that need again. “Stop thinking the worst. You have no idea.”
I sagged against him as his words wrapped around me. He used the movement to shift us onto the bed before he tucked me into his side. It was a surrender that brought me to the surface of my mind where I realized I’d been crying. Not in the painful ugly way from before, but the kind without tears. It was an art I’d mastered as a child to keep my Aunt from suffering with me when I hurt so badly for my mother. Every time, she would shatter with me, holding me in her arms and after a while, I hated it. Hated that I could cause someone so much pain just by showing my own. So, I’d learned to cry without shedding a tear.
I couldn’t do that with Cole, though. He was inside my head, he’d always know the truth.
Chapter Eleven
As much as I wanted to be an independent person, it was clear from just the kind touches, even from virtual strangers, that I craved affection and companionship. Mia was always that person for me. She knew when to hold me or when to talk my ear off, but knowing what I knew now, it wasn’t the same. I needed more than her. His comfort was different than hers. Instead of talking to me, he held me through the raging storm in my head. He just…held me. It was a new sort of intimacy, the kind I’d been looking for. And I’d finally found it.
A lot of things sorted themselves into place in that hour of silence that stretched between us. I guess he really didn't need to speak. He could hear everything as I processed. Every insecurity that I had, the ever-growing frustration for the situation I was in, and my confusion toward the four men I now found myself with. There was this invisible choice hanging over my head and I couldn’t bear to make it.
I had to be honest with myself. I was attracted to all of them for different reasons, I just didn't know what those reasons were or why I felt that way. I felt pulled to each of them. Cole was fun and easy to be around despite the fact that he could hear my every thought. He was whatever I needed him to be and himself all at once. Asher was a safe harbor, determined to protect me, constantly showing me how I could depend on him. Bastian, though I'd had very little interaction with him, drew me in with his mind and his words. And Ford, the one I'd known the longest and hardly knew at all it seemed. Our exchanges felt different now, no longer eas
y yet effortless. He fit into my old life perfectly but in this new one, I found him the hardest to be around but also the one I trusted the most.
All of them seemed intent that I was meant to be here, but they couldn't tell me why. Which turned my mind to our sixth - what was she like? Did she feel the same connection to them that I did? Could and would we get along? What if she had some claim to one of them? The questions swirled in my head. I didn't like the uncertainty. I needed all the facts before I could understand what was happening.
I barely thought about it, but it was also clear that someone or something was after me. I didn't know why or how I was important to them, but if I was being honest with myself, I knew this had been happening for a while. That figure had been trying to draw me out. There were those strange black spots in my memory, unconnected to any blackouts. Practically all my life. Whoever it was had grown bolder or something had shifted enough to make them more aggressive.
"We need to break the spell." I turned my face into Cole's chest, drawing his scent in. He smelled like allspice and cinnamon which only reminded me of Aunt Lauralin cooking pumpkin pies, but I pushed it away. I couldn't do anything about that yet, no matter how much I yearned to find her and Mia. The idea that I never would didn’t occur to me. There was no possibility that I would not draw them into this new life. I’d do it with them kicking and screaming if I had too.
"True. But no one has an answer for that," he murmured into my hair. Delicate tingles swept through me, making my brain swirl for another reason. It made me want to hold him to me as tightly as I could until no one could separate us again.
"Is there a circle where I can practice meditating?" I needed something I could actually do. I didn’t particularly enjoy the meditation, but if I could find answers in that, I could start putting pieces together. Maybe find a way to break the spell without waiting on the mysterious sixth.
"It's downstairs. I'll gather the others and we can get started in a few hours. Sadly, we have other duties." He slid off the bed with reluctance, giving me a rueful look as he slipped away from me. I panicked for a moment but had to stop myself. It wasn't his fault that I was starving to connect with people. It was selfish to want him to hold me, to never let go of me. I swallowed thickly, waiting for the loss to lessen as he went in search of his brothers before I headed downstairs.
The house was massive, that much was clear. Asher and I had slept on what seemed to be the fourth floor. I really needed to get better at paying attention to my surroundings. Normally, I was never so careless, but since joining them, I spent a lot of time in a daze, unaware of where I was, letting them pull me along in their wake.
I snorted to myself, realizing that at the first appearance of a man - or men - in my life, I let them sweep me away and gave them all my trust. A week ago, I would have said it was impossible, even absurd. I was all for having friends and dipping into relationships the same way Mia found new lovers, but at the heart of me, I was a feminist and wanted to care for myself.
The house - or mansion - was beautiful and modern, but not overly decorated. I peeked into rooms as I went, just taking everything in until I found the stairs and followed them down as far as I could until I reached the ground floor. Esper stood by the enormous fireplace talking to a man with blue hair and fairy wings. His back was to me, so he didn't notice me but Esper did. Her face split into a huge smile before morphing to one of horror.
"What in shades are you wearing?” She screeched. “No. Don't tell me! We will fix this." The man she had been speaking with turned to see what she was exclaiming at and he immediately dropped to his knees as I approached them. My eyes widened at him. I mean the wings and blue hair were amazing enough, but I didn't see how me entering the room should bring him to his knees. "Stop it, Garrold. You're alarming the poor thing!"
"My apologies, Esper," he said, climbing back to his feet. He looked me in the eye and I gasped at them. The entire eye was crystal blue with slit pupils like a cat. He ducked his head quickly and bowed again before hurrying away. As he left, I saw his shoulders pull back and his wings furl out behind him. There was a new spring in his step where before he’d seemed a bit defeated. The change was disconcerting.
"Don't mind him. It's just a shock," Esper said before reaching to take my arm. I stepped backward, out of reach. "Right, sorry. I forgot again. Shades, this is a mess."
She dropped her arm and stared at me for a few seconds before her ruby eyes turned hard. "Who dressed you? Those look like Asher’s clothes. I'll wring his neck. You can't go wandering about the Maker’s house in pants!"
"The Maker's house?"
"Yes, this is one of her domains. A pocket realm that…” She gasped suddenly, clutching her chest. Then she coughed, pulling herself upright again, before continuing. “Never mind. It doesn't matter. I can't even focus with you wearing that. Follow me."
She turned to leave, heading back toward the staircase, not even checking to see if I followed. She was very different from the easy-going woman I’d met the day before.
"Wait..."
"No. No waiting. The Court will be in and out of here all day. Even in war, appearances are important." She was already halfway up the staircase before she turned to me, noticing I hadn't moved, and waved her arms impatiently for me to move. I sprang into action and hurried up the steps to follow her.
"What war?" I asked as soon as I was eye level with her.
"We’re always at war. In one way or another. I can’t explain much more than that. Damned witch, stealing breath," she intoned, thrusting her hand out in front of her and making a fist. Esper, while I liked her, was clearly a bit deranged. "When I get my hands on her, it’ll be a spanking. "
She led me back to the fourth floor, passing Ford in the hall. His gray eyes grew wide when he saw me, but he didn't say anything. His eyes darted from me to Esper’s determined stride with a bit of fear. I didn’t blame him at all, Esper was a bit terrifying right now. I slowed to check if he was okay after earlier but Esper snapped her fingers at him, a spark igniting as she did so. A swarm of pink butterflies fluttered into existence and chased him away. It was almost comical to witness such a large man flapping his arms about, shooing away butterflies. I’d have to be satisfied that he didn’t have any visible bruising, so I threw him a small smile over my shoulder and decided it was in my best interest to keep on Esper’s good side for now.
At the end of the hall was a set of arched double doors, not like the ones from the cottage - these were much more tasteful - that had a delicate design painted into the wood. There was just enough time to make out some lavender blades of grass before Esper threw the doors open, sweeping me inside with just a look, before shutting them tightly behind me. She barely paused before crossing the room to another set of doors with much less decoration and throwing those wide and stepping through them.
The room itself could have held my entire apartment inside, it was that large. I stood paralyzed near the doors, gaping at it and its lush appeal. Along one wall spanned an enormous canopy bed that could easily sleep ten people with room to spare. It was adorned with carved posts that looked like flowering vines. The bed was dressed in a thick blanket the color of the sky at sunset.
In a corner opposite the bed was a lounge area, complete with a mint color couch and matching beige armchairs. On the wall, overlooking the lounge was the largest television I’d ever seen. The screen displayed several different boxes, each with a unique picture inside that looked like surveillance cameras.
Something on it looked familiar which spurred me to get a closer look. In the bottom left corner, at least four small boxes showed different rooms from the apartment I shared with Mia. One was directly placed in my bedroom overlooking the bed. I gasped aloud, both enraged and mortified.
They’d been watching me. Fuck! I masturbated in that bed. Changed in that room. I blinked at it several times, just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. No matter how many times I did, it stayed there. I scanned the other familiar
pictures—one for the kitchen and living room, another for Mia’s room, and another for the hallway outside the bathroom. Thank fuck there wasn’t one inside. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d discovered they watched me on the toilet.
I whirled around in a rage and stormed after Esper, calling out for her as I stepped into the largest closet I’d ever seen before. I should have been shocked by the sheer amount of clothing and accessories inside, but I was single mindedly focused on finding out who invaded my privacy.
Esper appeared around a corner with a garment bag in hand. If she saw my expression, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she greeted me with a bright smile that made the flowers in her hair dance around with excitement. I didn’t care.
"Here we are," she sang. "There’s a whole rack of clothes back there for one Ms. Arianna Rayne Holtner. I’m so glad we’re prepared. You wouldn’t believe—"
"Why are there cameras in my bedroom?" I demanded, spearing her with a look, even as the use of my full name registered. That was another matter, I’d deal with another time.
"To keep you safe, of course," she replied, tilting her head at me with confusion. You’ve been looked after—" She broke off, choking. The garment bag slipped from her fingers as she clutched for her throat, her face turning an alarming shade of strawberry. The vines in her pink hair stood on end while the flowers snapped at the air in a panic. Anger forgotten, I surged forward, my hands fluttering around her, unsure what I could do to help her without touching her. Bile built up in the back of my throat as she stumbled to her knees in front of me before she gave a shuddering gasp. I squatted down before her on my ass and leaned back in relief to see her breathing again.
"Esper, I’m so sorry," I said frantically. "I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry." She flapped her hands at me, waving away my apology.