by Chrissy Jaye
The moment the others linked hands, I felt it. A small gasp escaped my lips as the coil of electricity zapped through me again. I was ready for it that time though. Asher whispered words to me, giving me small nudges of instruction that I half listened to. I mainly focused on keeping my mind clear. It was hard with the energy pumping through us. It wasn’t a steady stream, more like a buildup of pulp that wouldn’t smooth out.
Just when I was about to give up, it thinned out and seemed to settle. I almost opened my eyes in surprise but caught myself at the last second. It took so much effort to get there and I didn’t want to ruin it.
Good. Now, search inside yourself. Look for the warmest part of yourself and reach for it.
It was Asher’s voice, but I barely heard it, like a whisper in the back of my mind. I acknowledge it and push it aside. It felt like hours before I found something inside me, hot and greedy. Too greedy, like a starved, feral animal. My breath hitched in my lungs and it took too much effort to keep it even. Whatever this thing was, it wasn’t what I was looking for. I knew it on instinct. This wasn’t a part of me, it was something latched on to me. As soon as I thought it, the feeling changed. It turned violent and cold. Instead of a raging fire, it turned into a vacuum of dead space, so bitterly cold, it burned. It coiled around me, desperate to smother, to take me captive. I struggled against it.
“Break the circle! She’s not breathing!” Esper’s scream sounded so far away. I latched onto it and tried to pull myself toward it, but the coldness clung even harder. Then the feeling broke and my eyes snapped open. I was flat on my back staring up at the brass chandelier.
So tacky, I thought.
Someone pulled me into their lap, slipping me easily across the marble floor until my back rested against their chest. I melted into it, only then realizing how rigid my muscles had been. I started to tremble as I remembered the burning cold. I’d almost given up, given in. I’d wanted to, if only for a moment, for it to take me and never let me wake.
Cole’s signature scent of allspice and cinnamon surrounded me as he rocked back and forth with me in his lap. I turned my head to look up at him, but found Ford inches away from my face, twisted up in a way I’ve never seen it before. Before I can blink, he pulled me from Cole’s arms and crushed me to his chest.
Click. Another slot moved into place.
His chest rumbled as he started speaking harshly over my head. “Don’t ever do that again! Don’t ever give up.” He pulled me back, almost roughly to glare down at me, a gray sea of anguish in his eyes, that made my own fill with tears. I knew he was just upset, that I’d scared him, but I couldn’t take the look in his eyes. Before I could blink, he pushed me away, making me stumble into Asher’s arms.
“Don’t push her!” Cole shouted at him, getting into Ford’s face. Cole towered over him, even though Ford outweighed him by at least sixty pounds of pure muscle. The tension between them could have been cut by a knife. It’s what ultimately snapped me back to reality.
They were fighting. Again. Over me. Of all things. A silly little girl caught up in a bizarre fairy tale with no instruction or know-how. Ford hadn’t even shoved me that hard. I couldn’t say I wouldn’t have reacted the same way.
“Stop it, all of you!” I yelled. “Just stop it!” The words came out hoarse as my vocal cords strained against one another. I cleared my throat, shrugging out of Asher’s arms, finally showing them my backbone. “I can’t have you fighting over me, or about me, or even at all. About anything. It isn’t right!” I turned in a slow circle, giving each of them their own glare. “You’re supposed to be brothers. Or a soul, whatever the fuck that is.” I pointed a finger at Cole, making it clear so he could tell the rest of them if he had to later on. “I don’t change a damn thing between any of you.”
It was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. Esper appeared out of nowhere behind Cole, giving me a soft smile and a nod of approval. It was all the support I needed. If she agreed with me, then I knew I was saying the right things.
It was strange how quickly I’d grown to love them. There had been an instant like between me and them, but right then, I realized that I loved them. They were my people. My soul. I wouldn’t get between them, even if I had to beat them over the head to get them to stop.
I took a few staggering steps away from them, still not fully recovered from whatever had happened in the circle. But I needed to get away from them, just for a moment. I needed to calm down and stuff the things I couldn’t deal with out of the way. My shoulders squared as I turned around and headed toward the front door. I was going to cry soon, and I didn’t want them to witness it.
I needed Mia. God, I needed my best friend. If she’d been there, she would have helped me figure it out.
The front door barely made a sound as I stepped outside into the snow gathered on the front steps. I hadn’t been out front yet and it seemed as good a place as any to have a break down.
But it wasn’t. Outside was utter chaos. There was trodden snow everywhere, but absolutely no quiet. The front yard, or rather, the forest clearing, as it was surrounded by woods on all sides, was a sea of tents. Fae wandered around, talking with one another or hurrying about their tasks. Children ran screaming through the avenues between the canvas homes playing or gathered around small braziers to keep warm.
I stood there with my mouth gaping at it all. Half turning, I gazed up at the massive house behind me, counting windows as I went. There were more than a hundred. The place was massive. Yet there was a tent city spread on the lawn. The blood in my veins began to boil again. This was wrong. So very, very wrong.
I stormed back through the door I’d left open and slammed it behind me. “I want those people back inside and out of the cold, now,” I said through gritted teeth, staring daggers at Asher. “How dare you throw them out just because of one accident. I’m not a china doll!”
Esper perked up from where she was perched on the end of one of the couches. Her left hand ran lazily back and forth across Ford’s back. He was hunched over with his head in his hands, but I barely spared him a thought. Instead, my gaze locked in on Esper.
Jealousy, like I’d never felt before welled up inside me. I bristled at their familiarity for a moment before I remembered that he wasn’t mine and fought the feeling down. He obviously had some type of relationship with her. I needed to get used to it if I was going to stick around. And I fully intended to stay. I’d never felt more at home than I did with them. Not even with Mia. I just hadn’t realized it.
Esper completely ignored my internal struggle. Instead, she smiled brightly at me, like I’d set the sun in the sky for her. Even the leaves and snapdragons in her hair perked up as her ruby eyes shown with pride. After a few moments of stunned silence, she eyed each of the guys with daggers of her own. “Well, you heard her. Get them inside!”
With that, I huffed out a breath and headed for the stairs. The least I could do now was stand out of the way and avoid accidents.
Chapter Fourteen
I hadn’t gone downstairs in several days, keeping myself contained to the fourth floor, which seemed to be reserved for myself and the guys. Occasionally, Esper appeared, usually with a meal for me, or to present me with more clothes from that damned closet. She insisted that I had to keep up appearances despite the fact that no one ever saw me. I even relented to wearing the bloomers that went underneath the skirts because of how sheer everything was, though I loathed them. I did have to admit though that they gave curves to my hips that I just couldn’t achieve with my boyish figure.
I spent most of my time with Cole, who seemed to have decided to take charge of me after he’d caught a thought in my head about eavesdropping on their meetings. I knew what they were doing, trying to find a way to break the spell that prevented them from telling me what was happening or what my role was. Cole seemed concerned that even if I tried to learn about myself by spying, it would still hurt the others. I couldn’t find fault with his logic and I honestly did
n’t want to test it.
When Cole wasn’t guarding me, I was in the library with Bastian as he poured through every book available. Each morning, I would arrive to find several fiction books that centered on female characters with more than one love interest. I’d practically devoured the mars books which filled my head with thoughts of having my own harem to fuel my nightly fantasies.
I knew it was impossible that I could have a romantic relationship with all four of them, but that didn’t stop me from wanting it. The connection between us was growing stronger each day, especially after Ford had touched me, but I still hadn’t brought myself even close to testing it with Bastian.
He was an enigma to me. One I needed to figure out before whatever it was between us boiled over.
I couldn’t focus on my reading today, however. There was something nagging at me in the back of my mind. Like a forgotten thought that felt like an annoying buzz in my skull. It never left though, and I’d decided that Bastian might be the best person to ask anyway.
I looked at him over the top of my book from my seat in the window. I’d migrated from a table near him to one of the windows behind him. We’d been sharing far too many strange looks and I thought it would be easier for him to focus if I wasn’t in his direct line of sight. But when I looked up, I found him facing me with a look in his eye.
“What is it?” I let the book fall to my lap and started fussing with my hair. I’d taken to pulling it back into a bun on top of my head. Esper hated it but I had so much hair that leaving it down all the time was a nuisance. When my fingers couldn’t find a loose lock to wring, I started picking at my ear because his stare made me nervous.
It was different from the looks we’d been sharing. This one was intent but not wholly focused on me. It was like he was staring into me. Like if he could make me fit just so, I’d make sense to him. I knew it well, because that’s how I looked at him most of the time.
“Nothing. I was just thinking…” His voice trailed off. As soon as he’d started speaking, pleasure had rippled through me making my eyes hood. Fuck, his voice was sexy. “Sorry. I sometimes forget.”
Unlike before, the pleasure I’d felt at hearing him speak was gone. It was just a normal conversation again and I was embarrassed by my reaction.
“Forget what?” I said breathlessly, crossing my legs to quell the ache between them. I cleared my throat, hoping it would clear my head as well.
“She put it on you for a reason, the spell. Only someone of equal power can break it,” he replied, thankfully ignoring the embarrassment I knew he could feel. It hurt me too, but I wouldn’t admit that. This wasn’t his fault. My attraction to them was all on me. Me and my brand of crazy. Maybe I should stop torturing myself with these books.
Esper burst into the room, out of breath and rushed over to Bastian to whisper in his ear. She looked at me with guilt when she was finished and stepped back, like she was some sort of servant. Bastian’s eyes darted to me and away as he gripped the bridge of his nose. “It can’t be coincidence.” He turned to Esper. “Get my brothers. We need to be united in this.” She nodded before throwing me an apologetic smile as she left.
“What’s happening?” I asked, the panic clear in my tone. Bastian didn’t say anything, just turned his back on me and went to a bookshelf and started to pluck books from the shelf. My irritation grew with every book he threw on the pile in his arms. “Really? You’re not going to say anything?”
“Don’t,” he groaned. “I need to get us prepared. Wait for the others to get here. I’ll tell you all together.” I huffed but couldn’t fault him. Well, I could and did, but I got it. Who wanted to repeat themselves over and over? Not that I’d ever had the problem.
“You need to control your emotions. They’re draining, and I can’t help you fix them right now.”
My irritation morphed into a simmering rage at his words. I was getting sick of this bullshit. Do this, Aria. Do that. Don’t ask questions we can’t answer. Just follow us blindly while we give you nothing. My emotions boiled around in me. I could feel them festering in my veins as he stood there, shuddering beneath the onslaught. I focused all my anger toward him. His pile of books toppled to the floor as he staggered backward with a cry of pain.
Good. Fuck him and his stupid books.
“Aria, stop! You’ll hurt him!” Cole was suddenly in front of me, wrapping his arms around me, breaking my line of sight. I couldn’t see Bastian anymore, but it didn’t matter. My anger was all gone. Cole soothed away all my frustrations with just one touch. I sighed and leaned into him, soaking up his warmth, his security.
All too soon, he released me, leaving me feeling drained and a bit dizzy. He didn’t let go of me completely, but he somehow managed to place me in his lap in the window seat, facing us toward the room. Asher and Ford must have slipped in with Cole and I’d missed it because I was so focused on making Bastian feel the hurricane inside me.
I refused to look at Bastian directly. I was so ashamed of myself for hurting him like that. This wasn’t his fault. The blame didn’t belong to anyone except the person who had spelled me. Instead of hiding, I focused on not seeing anyone. I didn’t know where all that rage had come from, but I definitely felt guilty for it now.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Cole pulled me back into him, running a soothing hand down my arm.
“It’s okay, Little Song,” Asher said, giving me a small smile. “We’ve all had moments like that.” His words brought out a small smile in me as I remembered his naked chase throughout the house and the rage Ford had thrown my way only a few days ago. I suddenly felt much better about my fluctuating temper though not about who I’d targeted.
Bastian cleared his throat, drawing all our attention. “There’s been a development.” He looked around the room for a minute. “Where’s Esper? We’re going to need her.”
“She went downstairs. Something about the blue fairy. We can start without her.” All of them shared a look, communicating without speaking again. I was jealous of it. I wanted in on whatever bond they shared together. Cole leaned into me, planting a soothing kiss on my shoulder which stopped all thoughts in their tracks. Across from us, Asher’s eyes hardened. He hadn’t missed what Cole had done but he didn’t say anything either. Internally, I shuddered, suddenly feeling the axe hanging over my head that screamed for me to make a choice.
“The Lord of Shadows has,” Bastian looked at me and away quickly before he continued, “requested a meeting with Aria.” The way he said requested made it sound like there was nothing they could do about it. “He’ll be here this evening and expects full rights.”
A sort of hush settled over the room. Asher ducked his head and shuffled his feet while Ford narrowed his eyes.
“What does that mean?” I asked, uncomfortable with the awkward air swirling around us. “Is that bad?”
“It’s not overly bad. But it could go very bad if we offend him.” Bastian pierced me with a serious look, the green of his eyes darkened as he stared at me, like he was searching for something and found it.
“Don’t let him worry you, Ari. It’s just formalities and ceremony,” Ford said with a lazy smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I can walk you through it while these guys handle the rest.” He turned to Bastian, leveling him with a look I couldn’t read. His brother nodded to him. “Bring her to the kitchen, Cole. He’ll expect a meal made by her hands.”
I had to cook for this Shadow man? My eyes widened, and I looked at Cole over my shoulder. He snorted at the look on my face. “It’ll be fine, beautiful.”
Cole led me from the room by the hand, brushing by Asher, who trailed his hand down my arm, making me shiver. When I looked him in the eye, there was an unreadable look on his face, like he was seeing me for the first time.
As the door shut behind him, I heard Bastian’s voice. “He might be able to break…” but Cole sped up, leading me away before I could hear the rest. We stopped outside the room I had claimed as my own. I’
d learned that it actually belonged to Asher, but he’d given it up for me to use.
Unlike the first night here, he hadn’t shared the bed with me. Neither had any of the others. I think they were all a bit worried I’d strip their clothes off them in the night. To be honest, so was I. Cole had admitted to me that several of them thought it was my powers and they didn’t want to cause any more fights because of it.
What a great power to have, right? Stripping men in their sleep. I could make millions as an expert date rapist.
“Aren’t we going downstairs?” I asked as Cole paused outside my door.
“In a minute,” he said quietly. He edged closer to me, forcing me back a step, unsure of what he was doing. I felt my hand sprawl against the wooden door at my back, my fingers slipping along the hidden grains of the wood until my back was flush against it.
Too close.
He was too close.
And not close enough. My mind spiraled out of control, trying to grasp a single straw of sanity. The guys had been close before, all except Bastian, but this was different. Cole towered over me as he stepped up to me. My eyes stared straight forward, into his naked chest. He never wore a shirt if he could help it, and today was no different. He wasn’t as built as Ford, but everything about his torso was perfectly sculpted to fit his lean frame. I watched it rise and fall for a few seconds before his hand drifted up to cup my chin.
He tilted my chin upward until I was staring into his emerald eyes. They glittered in the dim lighting of the hall as he gazed down at me, searching my face for something. Then slowly, too slowly, he bent his head downward to brush his lips against mine before pulling back enough to gage my reaction.