by Chrissy Jaye
“You wouldn’t…” he choked out but trailed off as an evil smile split my face.
“Oh, I would. I really, really would.”
“As fun as all this banter is, you were on a mission, Aria,” Asher said as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the room.
I expected us to go to the informal library, as I’d named it, but he didn’t. Instead, he led me downstairs to the kitchen to top me off with a cup of coffee. It was probably a good idea. Everything went better with coffee. Even terse conversations with your sister/best friend/something.
Everyone gathered around a table on the back patio. It was still tented over with silks, but all the other decorations from our fiasco with the Lord of Shadows had disappeared. None of them particularly enjoyed the cold, but it was a private space that others wouldn’t walk in on. Wrapped up in my sweater and a cup of coffee in my hands and it actually felt pretty nice outside, even if the snow was almost up to three feet.
Mia sat across from me, her green eyes red and swollen. Her normally sun kissed face was pale and sullen. I felt for her, I really did, but I wasn’t ready to forgive her yet. I loved her. It would be impossible not to, no matter what she did to me, but it would be a while until I fully came around to the idea.
Everyone else sat in stiff silence, waiting for one of us to break it. It became clear that Mia wasn’t going to start first. Instead, she watched me, examining my face like she always did, trying to figure out my thoughts before I said them. Whatever she saw there, didn’t seem to give her much courage. So, I started instead.
“Break the spell,” I said, leveling her with a look. “Before anything else, I want it off me.” I bit back the rest of what I wanted to say—about how cruel it was to choke the air from people’s lungs just for wanting to be honest with me.
She reached across the table, placing her hand in the center palm up. Normal Mia would have just grabbed my hand, but she left the choice open for me. I could either take her hand or not. It wasn’t really a choice though if she had to touch me to break the spell. Without hesitating I placed my palm in hers. An immediate warmth filled it and then faded away. As soon as it was done, I snatched my hand away and turned to Asher.
“What the fuck is shade walking?” His lips quirked up in an amused smile while Cole snorted.
“Start with something easier,” Asher chuckled. I could do that. Probably a good idea to start at the beginning.
“Okay,” I said, drawing in a breath. “What am I?”
“You’re a Shade. More specifically, you’re a host for a fragment of a dragon’s soul.” Asher spoke carefully, letting me absorb what he was saying.
“Dragons are real?” I asked, a bit put off. That wasn’t at all what I’d expected. I’d expected Fairy or Fae, or something relating to elves. Not dragons.
“Not anymore,” Mia whispered, looking away from the table out into the yard. I nodded my head. Okay. No more dragons.
“How does this relate to all of us?” I gazed at each of them, letting them know the discussion was open to everyone. Even Mia, though she didn’t see. Her eyes were still on the yard, looking at something I couldn’t see.
“The first dragons were cursed a long time ago,” Bastian said, leaning forward to grab my attention. “There were six of them in all, thought to be the beginning of all life on earth. Whether that’s true or not doesn’t matter though. What does matter is that the curse broke each dragon’s soul into three pieces. The fragments, unable to survive without a living host latched onto children in the womb of pregnant mothers. When they were born, those fragments called out to each other,” he paused, letting me catch up.
“So, I have a piece of a dragon’s soul attached to me,” I said in a level voice. My eyes cut to Mia as the pieces snapped into place. It explained everything I’d been through in my life. Well almost everything. “Bea?”
The question in my voice drew her attention. She nodded.
“Most Shades don’t start calling to each other until the age of maturity, which is to say, puberty,” Bastian continued. “They’re not even aware of what they are until then.”
“Wait, stop,” I said suddenly. That piece of information didn’t make sense. I’d known about Bea since I was six. She’d been taking over for short spurts almost my whole life. Bastian sat back, a dark look overtaking his face as he turned away to stare out into the yard like Mia had. Something about it dragged at me. It was too similar to be anything else, but I pushed it away. First things, first.
“You’re wondering why you’re different,” Cole stated, letting everyone else know. “It’s because you were found too early. Two fragments came very close to contact by accident and it marked you as a Shade. From then on, no one except someone with a similar Soul could touch you. It had to be either family or someone like us, the other fragments. Magic exacts a balance. It recognized you as something more than human and tried to force the bond by making it impossible for you to touch others. It didn’t matter that you were too young. It drove you like a magnet.”
My mind spun with the information. It hardly made sense at all, but I got the basics of it. Magic, price, forced isolation. I dragged in a deep breath, considering whether I could take much more. I had a lot to mull over. I didn’t want to talk about my soul anymore. I moved to the next item on my list.
“What’s with the jar Bea wanted me to have?” Everyone tensed and turned to Mia. She looked around uncomfortably. It was a strange look on her. The woman I knew grabbed every situation by the horns. Something had happened to her. Something more than my being mad at her.
“It’s a memory jar,” she whispered. She sat for a moment and then squared her shoulders, a bit of her normal spark back in her eyes. “We knew you were a part of our soul because of the call, but we all agreed that you were too young to be brought into something so intense. Your parents were already raising you in the human world, even though they still held firm to Fae culture.”
“Wait, my parents were Fae?” My mind reeled again, ending up with even more questions. “No, don’t answer. Just tell me what the jar is.”
“It’s an animus collection – your memories from the night your parents were murdered and any recollections of Fae culture.”
“You took my memories?” I glared daggers at her. That single sentence filled me with so much anger that my hands shook with it. Wind whipped around in a harsh vortex with me at the center. I was just so sick and tired of being controlled and coddled. My whole life. She’d been managing me my whole life and I hadn’t even realized. I’d just been grateful to have someone who loved me. Who wouldn’t run away when shit got hard. I’d been so stupid.
“Calm down, love.” A hot hand landed on my shoulder, sucking out my anger as quickly as it had spiraled up. I gasped as it released me and fell back in my chair, drained and mortified. Bastian pulled back from me, shaking out his hand as if it stung.
I needed to get away from here. From that table. I wanted to be alone more than anything else, but I couldn’t. I still had one more thing to ask. Something that was more important than anything else, mystical or otherwise. Breathing harshly, I pinned Mia with a look that made her flinch.
“Where is Aunt Lauralin?”
Her eyes dipped away and back to me and her hand automatically came up to twirl a piece of her hair. It was one of her tells. I’d asked her something she didn’t want to answer. It made the pit in my stomach grow and sink all at the same time.
“Tell me,” I ground out. I needed to know, even if I wouldn’t like the answer.
“She was taken from us.” Her voice trembled, her bottom lip quivering slightly as her eyes filled with tears. I didn’t care. I was out of my chair faster than anyone could blink. My hand came up and I smacked her across the face as hard as I could. I started screaming at her. I didn’t even recognize half of what I said or even if I was speaking words, but it felt right. I screamed so hard at her that spots formed in front of my eyes and my head throbbed. When the spots cleared, I
had just a moment to register Asher’s azure eyes before I blacked out.
Epilogue
Two weeks Later
With the immediate threat to my life ended, I was given more freedom to explore the woods around the mansion. We’d be uprooting the entire Court soon now that Mia was back, but I could never resist a set of woods in a snowstorm. By some small miracle that I couldn’t understand, during winter it never stopped snowing in the Fae realms. I’d learned quite a bit about them in the past weeks now that I could ask questions and expect answer.
I wasn’t quite lost in the woods yet. The house still peeked through the trees. Not that I was attempting to get away. I just enjoyed the solitude. After so much of my life being isolated, I found the clamoring of so many people grating at times. And though I could touch other people now since our soul was almost completely bonded, I still found it disconcerting when Esper got her hands on me. Yes, she still tried to play dress up with me. Anything was better than the bugs she’d used to terrify me into compliance before, so I considered it progress even if I didn’t like it much. As for completing bond, there was some sort of ritual we had to do once we were back at the Summer Court.
Mia and I didn’t avoid each other, but we didn’t pretend there wasn’t tension between us either. It would have been impossible to even try dodging her. The six of us were like magnets, constantly drawn to each other. It could be an intense feeling. It explained a lot about my relationship with Mia that I had taken as normal. I think even without the bond of being shades from the same soul, I would have loved her.
“Hey.”
I whirled around to the voice. Mia stood at the edge of the woods, using the space between the trees to call out to me. She beckoned for me to follow her back to the yard before disappearing. I sighed inwardly. She had that look in her eye again. We were going to have a serious talk and I couldn’t avoid it.
As I approached, I caught sight of her sitting at the same table we’d used before to discuss who and what I was. I didn’t like to think too hard about that just yet. I was still trying to sort some of it out. I was weary of sitting there for a moment, remembering what Esper had told me about intense emotions and how they could linger in certain places. Then again, knowing Esper, she probably cleansed the area as soon as everyone had cleared out.
I took the chair next to her. To be honest, I was tired of the effort it took to maintain distance between us. It was draining in a way the guys couldn’t fill. They were great for so many things except the ones that needed a woman’s touch. Esper didn’t count until she stopped torturing me.
“What’s up?” I asked lightly.
“I’m going to get her back, Aria,” she said without hesitating. “I don’t know how, but I will. Fae politics are complex. But I promise, I will. She’s family.”
“Is she?” I asked, giving voice to something that had been spinning around my head for a few weeks now.
“She is. She’s your mother’s half-sister. Separated by a few centuries. She’s been a protected member of my court for a long time.”
“Right, because you’re some sort of God,” I scoffed, finding the entire thing ridiculous. My vivacious and slutty adopted sister was a God.
“Not anymore. Not in the way you think. It’s more like supreme leadership. And technically, you are too.”
“How’s that work out?” I asked as I rolled my eyes at her. The green of her eyes sparkled for a moment before she reached out to grasp my hand. I glanced down at our connected fingers. It was the first time we’d touched voluntarily since the night we summoned her to us.
“Because part of you is a piece of me. The others too,” she said earnestly giving my hand a squeeze as she did.
I laughed then. For no other reason than to let something out. A month ago, I’d been a pale woman plagued by mental disorders. And now here I was with my best friend, telling me I was some sort of queen.
Fuck… It was a very sobering thought.
I looked up, tears suddenly in my eyes to see Bastian standing behind the glass of the backdoor. His eyes flicked back and forth between Mia and me. Probably reading our emotional states.
“So… Which one of them did you fuck?” Mia asked suddenly.
“What? Why do you think I slept with one of them?” I sputtered with indignation. Technically, it hadn’t gotten that far.
“Aria, I have known you almost your whole life. Not to mention we have an extremely solid bond compared to the others. I know you better than you do. Not to mention, Bastian is moodier than usual.”
I sat dumbfounded as my face flushed with heat before I leaned over dramatically and laid my head on her shoulder with a groan.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have feelings for all of them,” I moaned.
She pulled back a bit and lifted my chin with her hand. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief with an equally wicked grin smeared on her lips. She dipped her head down and dropped a smacking kiss to my lips. Her curls brushed my cheek as she pulled away just far enough to look me in the eye again. “Why choose?” she whispered with a saucy wink.
TO BE CONTINUED
Acknowledgments
This will be long and possibly full of tears so bear with me here. There are so many people who have built me up into someone ready to share her words with the world. The very first are my parents who I hope to God do not read this book. Dad, thank you for giving me books to read and developing my love of all things fantasy and science fiction and a name from one of the greatest horror writers this century has ever known. Mom, thank you for the time you gave me to figure my shit out. I know it wasn’t always easy and I know that we annoy the shit out of one another, but I love you. I figured it out finally. Now put the damn book away and stop teasing me.
Husband and spawn – You have blindly given me your support and suffer through the highs and lows of my process. I know this last year has been bizarre. From fits of frustrated crying to impossible hours clacking away at the keyboard. I have never worked harder on anything in my life. I’m so grateful to have a family that loves me enough to let me go crazy. Especially you, Alex, who takes the brunt of every good and bad emotion I have. You are my hero and I love you more than I ever thought possible. It’s absolutely terrifying.
To my college English professor whose name I can’t remember for the fucking life of me – You made me a better writer. You tore that first paper to shreds with a single sentence and in the next built me back up to try again. Thank you.
Donna A and Donna T – Your inspiration, kindness, and willingness to trust your book babies with me changed my life. I picked my dream out of the ashes and I will forever link that with the two of you.
To Rayne and Sonny – You are my second home. My brother and wife sister. My safe harbor. My chosen family. People like you are so rare, and I will never for a single moment forget this shining love I feel for you. Thank you for not laughing when I told you I was writing a book. Thank you for making me laugh until I cry. Thank you for always welcoming me back no matter how long I disappear. Who knows? If this takes off, we might actually get that farm in Ireland.
To Recycle His Sharks – Maybe get a tissue first? What would I have done without you? I wouldn’t have written a book, that’s for sure. Even if I had failed, I won because I have you. I didn’t know that stray messages would lead me to two more incredible friends. That words – and blood – would bring me this perfect kinship. There were so many times I almost gave up but then I’d hear that ping and my whole day would turn around. The dark and nebulous side to writing is that it can isolate and suffocate. So much time is spent inside my own mind which isn’t always an attractive place. You brought me out of mine. We have laughed, cried, and uplifted one another. A thank you would never be enough, but I’ll say it anyway. Thank the fucking book gods for the two of you. Also – you’re never getting rid of me now. You’re totally fucked because I’m ridiculously in love with you both.
To Laura and Arizona - I honestl
y don't know where to begin with each of you. It's a collection of small instances where help was needed and you gave it. Laura, you once told me to find my people, and at first, I was frustrated because finding people is easy. Keeping them is something entirely different. I tend to have to beat people over the head with love so I hope you don't mind, but I'm keeping you. Ari, you quite literally brought me into this entire world. I met my sharks because of you. I met Laura and Kelly. And on one of the hardest days of 2018, I got the cover of this book which I fell in love with the moment I saw it. I never dreamed it would become mine. I'm keeping you too. So, thank you, both of you. You have filled my heart with hope and bravery.
To my beta-readers – Angel, Tricia, Victoria, Patty, and Iliana – Thank you for taking the time to read an unknown. It’s not everyone who can read a book and then look the author in the eye (webchat?) and tell you everything that’s wrong with it. You will make me into a better writer in the long run and that is an invaluable gift.
To Brittany – It took so much gumption to send you that first draft. I know it was a mess. Somehow you took that mess and helped it make sense. You were the first person to finish it and I ugly cried when you came back and told you loved the story. Big, fat, alligator tears. Husband thought someone had died. Thank you for the work and dedication you put into your craft.
To Gina – You haven’t formatted this yet, but I know it will be beautiful so thank you in advance. It’s the final step in making this whole experience a reality and I’m so blessed to know it’s in good hands. You will take this story and give it the facelift it needs. Thank you.