by Aria Norton
Chapter 12
Edwina had given that comment at least five times already, but the woman did not seem to tire of saying it. I am growing tired of agreeing and proceeding to have a whole conversation on the beauty of the park. What she wanted to know was what Nash and Lord Curtis had been discussing, but before she could ask a question, Nash had left with the man. He did not say where he was going, only that he would be back soon.
Well, she was not going to sit about moping, waiting for him like a docile wife would, she needed to get out and stretch her legs. Fortunately, she had seen a park nearby and had suggested to Edwina that they go for a walk. The woman had jumped at the chance, draining her teacup and taking a few biscuits with her 'in case they grew peckish.' Perhaps we should have stayed at the manor to save me from her endless chatter.
“I think that I need to sit for a little while, Freddi, I feel quite tired. It has been some time since I have walked this much.”
“Yes, here is a bench. Take a seat, I still have some energy in me to burn off.”
"Oh no, what kind of chaperone would I be to allow you to go off alone? That simply will not do, Freddi, I have been hired to do a job, and by golly I shall do it. Sit a while with me, allow me to catch my breath."
Freddi inwardly groaned. All I need is a little time away from her, is that too much to ask for? However, the woman was right, she could not go off on her own. She sat down, arranging her new dress about her legs. Freddi had never owned anything as fine as this; it flowed around her body wonderfully, complimenting her fair complexion.
“The dress is lovely, but you have made it so, Freddi,” Edwina commented. “My mother would always tell me that a dress should never wear you and take all the glory; you should wear it to add to your glory. Tell me, how long have you and Lord Salisbury known each other?”
How much could she tell the woman without giving away too much information?
“Many years, Edwina. We have known each other since childhood, although he was away for many years.”
The woman smiled. “And yet he still came back for you? That is true love, my dear, you must always hold onto that.”
True love? Yes, she loved Nash, but his feelings for her were not clear yet. Freddi found Edwina to be quite an inquisitive woman, so it was time to turn the tables on her.
“How long have you been married, Edwina?”
The woman grew silent, her eyes looking out to the people that walked about the park. That should be a relatively straightforward question for a married woman to answer.
“Well, that depends on how you look at it. I could tell you twelve years that I have been a legally married woman, but it would be more correct to say one day.” She laughed. “I was married for a day, and then my husband disappeared without a trace. I do not know if he is alive or dead, but according to the law, I could have declared my husband dead some years ago and freed myself from our marriage, but I cannot bring myself to do it. As far as I am concerned, I am still Mrs Tallman. There is more honour in being a married woman at my age than one who is alone.”
Freddi was shocked to silence. Married for a day? That is a terrible punishment for a woman expecting to spend her life with her husband.
“Did you, uh, search for him at all?”
“Yes, his family spared no money in searching for him, but after some time, they had to accept that he did not wish to be found. I believe that they blame me to a certain extent, and honestly, I lay the blame at my feet as well. He must have loathed the idea of marrying me, and so he ran away to vanish without a trace.”
How awful. Freddi felt more warmly towards Edwina, pitying the woman's story.
“You are a great woman, Edwina, I am confident that your husband did not run away from you as he could have run away before the marriage. Take comfort in that.”
Edwina sniffed. “Never mind my story, I prefer to hear about yours. Where will you be married? In London or out in the country? You are from a town outside of London, yes?”
“We have not thought that far yet. We have a few things to organise in London before we can think about our wedding date, Edwina. Nash has some business to take care of.”
“That man should not leave you alone too often, another man may come and snatch you away!”
Freddi could not help but laugh. The only man who is willing to marry a woman like me is an old man with thinning hair, missing teeth, and a big stomach. Hardly the type of prospect for a young woman.
“Do you think I say this in jest?” Edwina asked. “Mind you, these days we must be more worried about another woman snatching our husbands from under our very noses. I once heard the story of a young heiress bound to marry a handsome young man last year. Another woman came into the story and broke their engagement, much to the family's distress. The poor girl has not been seen in public since.”
Freddi felt her heart sinking. Any girl would be fortunate to have Nash, and once he had his inheritance once again, young women would come flocking to him. He will soon forget about me, and find a suitable bride. Edwina laid a hand over hers.
"Do not fret, my dear. I do not say this to worry you; your young man loves you far too much to ever leave you. When he is with you, he can hardly take his eyes off of you. In his heart, there is no one else but you, I am certain of that."
Could the woman be right? Or was Nash a good actor? It is frustrating not knowing where we stand! Are we merely friends or a little more than that? If only he would tell her something. He cares for me, this I know, but I shall only be put at ease once he speaks the words 'I love you.'
“Yes, I am sure that you are right.”
“Of course I am, my dear, I am never wrong about these things. As your chaperone, I feel that I should impart some wisdom to you on how to keep him happy. He is happy already, but a marriage can soon become dull if you do not do things to keep your love alive.”
“Are you saying that love can die? My parents loved each other regardless of the many years they spent together.”
"No, no, dear, I do not necessarily mean die, you misunderstand me. What I meant to say is that you may grow bored, and perhaps you will not take as good care of yourself as you used to. Many women let themselves go once they have passed the five-year mark, and unfortunately, their husbands’ eyes tend to roam to greener pastures."
Edwina may believe that she is being helpful, but she could make any woman run for the hills.
“I know of a woman...”
Freddi tuned out of the woman's stories, as they were as plentiful as the people wandering around the park. Right now, I find myself on the edge of my next step. I have put my future in Nash's hands because I do not have a clue as to what I should do. I know that he wishes to help me, but I cannot put all my hope on him. If I return home empty-handed, then I shall have to marry Mr Down. I have no other choice for I have no money and no job prospects. However, if Nash succeeds and his father gives him his inheritance, I shall have the opportunity to start afresh in London. These two are my only options, and yet they are not what I truly want.
She wanted this farce of an engagement to become a reality, she wanted Nash to declare his love for her and ask for her hand in marriage. I would follow him to France and build a life with him. He is all that I have left, and if he leaves me, I shall be alone once again.
Perhaps it was time for her to stop thinking about being with him, and start understanding that she would likely end up alone and that she needed to prepare herself for the moment that he would say his goodbyes again. Not that he said it the last time he went away from me; he simply left me without a word. I was so scared for him, for the pain he was experiencing. I wanted to see him, but Mama and Papa would not allow me to. I now know that it was Lord Blackmore who must have told them to keep me away from Nash, and they were only following his orders.
Freddi recalled the many nights she had cried herself to sleep, seeing the image of Nash's crumpled body on the ground. For a second she had thought him dead, and her heart h
ad stopped, but his moans of pain had enabled her to dismiss the thought. I have him in my life again, but only for a brief moment in time. I do not know whether to pull away from him to guard my heart or to draw near to him to savour every moment spent with him. Freddi sighed, rubbing her temples. There are so many grey areas to each choice, nothing is black and white. Edwina was still rambling on, unaware that Freddi was not listening to her. Her life has been difficult as well, and yet she remains cheerful. I should not be so morose about my own life, I should take a leaf out of her book and look at the brighter side of life.
The first thing would be to enjoy the park and the sunlight.
“Edwina?” she interrupted.
“Yes, dear?”
“May I have a biscuit?” “Of course! See, I knew that taking them would be beneficial for us. Let me just get them from my bag.”
Freddi turned her body towards the woman as she rummaged through her large carpet bag. Edwina is never without this bag, I do not know how she carries it around. Freddi went still as a familiar face came into view.
“Is that-? No, I must be mistaken.”
Edwina looked up, spinning her head around. “Who, dear?”
“No, no one, I must have imagined it.”
“All right, then. Here is your biscuit, and I shall have one as well. I must ask Lord Curtis' cook for this recipe, it is so deliciously crumbly, and yet it holds its shape remarkably well. Do I detect a hint of lavender?”
Freddi hardly tasted the biscuit as she was still trying to find the man again. I wonder if it was him? Edwina soon felt rested enough to walk about the park for the last time before heading back to the manor. Freddi offered to hold her bag for her, to which the woman happily obliged.
“Do you know, I never give my bag to anyone, I always keep it near me. However, you have an honest look about you, Freddi. I rather like you.”
“The sentiments are returned, Edwina.”
“Splendid! I do love to make new friends. My sister is quite the opposite, she sits in her house all day and never ventures out. Perhaps I shall take you to meet her if time permits it.”
Freddi smiled, not committing herself to anything. With a future as uncertain as mine, I cannot make any promises.
***
The ride to Lord Ayles' manor was surprisingly enjoyable. Nash had not known what to expect from his old friend, perhaps an interrogation, but Willoughby had done nothing of the sort. Instead, they were reminiscing about their childhood.
“I think that you must have been the headmaster's most gifted but hated student. At times he did not know whether he should praise you or discipline you.”
Nash laughed. “I think that I was disciplined far more than I was praised. Father had to intervene and forbid me to trouble him any further.”
“A little too late, I would say. Had you not left for France when you did, you would have been removed from the headmaster's presence.”
Nash sobered. Leaving for France had done a lot of damage, but it had been necessary back then. He would never have recovered had he not left England.
“Yes, my grandparents ensured that I continued my education in France, and I am pleased to say that I did not trouble my tutors.”
“We all missed you when you left. I especially, as your accomplice, missed you. But you would never allow me to get into trouble with you; you always claimed to have done it alone. One thing is for sure, things were never the same after you left. I think that our headmaster became bored as he no longer had to keep an eye out for your tricks.”
“But what has become of you these past ten years, Willoughby? I see that you are doing well.”
“Yes, but I do feel lonely at times. A bachelor's life has its advantages, but I am at that point where I see the merit in tying myself down to one woman. You are fortunate to have Freddi, I know that she will make you happy.”
At that moment, Nash felt a strong need to tell Willoughby that he and Freddi were not engaged and that he had only come up with the scheme to protect her honour, but he held back. I have learnt to never reveal all my secrets, as that would mean that I have equipped someone with ammunition to use against me. What if Willoughby were to disapprove and demand that their lie be publicised? I do not think that Willoughby would do such a thing, but one can never be too sure.
They soon arrived at Lord Ayles' residence, and as soon as the butler recognised Willoughby, they were escorted into the parlour.
“Lord Curtis, you must know that the Earl has suffered much from his recent illness, and he has not regained his strength. The physician does not have hope for him, but it will do him good to see a familiar face. However, please be aware that he might not remember you, as his memory is no longer the same.”
The butler asked them to wait outside while he informed his master that visitors had come. He knelt by a chair, and Nash craned his neck to see if a person indeed sat there. He must be rather small, I do not see him at all. As the butler turned the chair to face the sofa in the room, a cat appeared out of nowhere, curling around his legs. Nash bent down to stroke it, smiling when the cat purred.
“My Lord,” the butler said. “You may enter now.”
Nash straightened up and took a step, but he stopped at the doorway, his eyes falling on the man's weak form. He did not expect to see the man as he was, and was now unsure on how to approach him.
“Follow my lead, Nash,” Willoughby whispered.
Nash entered the room after his friend, noting the smell in the room. It held the air of a sick person, an unpleasant odour for those still full of life.
“Lord Ayles, how are you?” Willoughby asked.
The old man turned to him, recognition dawning in his eyes. “Lord Curtis, how nice of you to come. How is your wife?”
The man's voice shook, the sound thin and warbly. His wife? Oh, he must think Willoughby to be his father. Willoughby, the good chap that he was, went along with it.
“Good, Felicia is good. She sends her regards and requests that you join us for dinner whenever you find yourself with a free evening.”
Lord Ayles smiled. “That is kind of her, I do so enjoy your wife's parties.”
Nash felt pity for the man, for this was not a quality of life for anyone. He cannot be the perpetrator; he can hardly keep track of the year let alone get himself out of the chair. This trip has been all for nought. Heavy disappointment sat on him like a damp cloth on a cold day. The butler came in after about half an hour of useless chatter, carrying a tray of tea.
“I am afraid that Lord Ayles will need some rest.”
“We understand,” said Willoughby, standing up. “We shall be on our way. Lord Ayles, it was good to see you again.”
“And you, Wilson.”
Wilson? The poor man appears to have moved on from Willoughby's father to someone else.
“Who are you?” Lord Ayles asked of his butler.
They both left the room, the butler still trying to explain his identity to the Earl. Nash took in a deep breath the minute they walked out of the building, enjoying the fresh air.
“Sickness is not for the fainthearted,” Willoughby commented.
“No, I would never wish to be in his condition.”
"At least we can rule out his involvement in the death threats. The man is far too feeble and forgetful to have any sort of agenda against your father."
"Yes. It seems that I have hit a dead-end once again."
Willoughby slapped his shoulder. “Cheer up, old friend. I said that I would help you, and I shall.”
They met two footmen on their way to the carriage, men who looked at Nash strangely. They greeted them, but as soon as Nash had passed them, he heard them say something about him.