by D J Small
“I thought you weren’t allowed to have vices?”
Summer chuckled. “I’m not, but this happens to be a hobby I share with Kareem, which means he turns a blind eye to it. Plus, I don’t do it often enough, and it’s more of a calming habit than one to drown my life woes with.”
Val chuckled as Summer cut through the tip of the cigar. “This explains why you haven’t gotten rid of him yet.”
“Probably,” Summer replied with a smirk then she focused on preparing Val’s cigar.
The hobby was one she had picked up when she was first deployed, and Summer had explained to Val that it wasn’t about actually smoking the cigar itself, but the level of ritual and reverence for such a mundane object. When she had first found out about Summer’s cigar habit, Val had completely lost her shit and went off on her, but then she became more appreciative of the hobby, and eventually wound up joining Summer in smoking one. But most of the time, she just watched her. Summer never looked so at peace than when she was smoking a cigar.
Before Val had become president, and when they were married, the two of them would sit on their back porch during the spring and summer and Summer would smoke a cigar while Val talked about whatever had happened in her day. After she was elected, and they moved into the White House, she and Summer would sneak out to the Truman balcony to continue their nighttime hobby.
Val had never asked how she obtained the exquisite, and probably insanely expensive, cigars because she was certain they went against several trade embargos, and she would never ask. The less she knew the better. Val released a wistful sigh. “This makes me miss the house.”
Summer chuckled as she carefully twirled the tip of the cigar by the flame of the torch. “We should go up to it one week.”
Val groaned. “The security logistics would be a nightmare then I would have to listen to Kat’s various reasons for why it wouldn’t be a good idea.” She sighed. As much as she wanted to go back to their old home, it wasn’t feasible.
Summer offered her the cigar and said, “Remember, don’t inhale. Just let the flavor roll around on your tongue, then exhale.”
Val took the cigar and rolled her eyes, taking a tentative drag from it. Smoke filled her mouth, and the rich, smooth flavor of it caused a low moan to emanate from Val’s throat. After she slowly exhaled, Val held up the cigar and said, “I forgot how wonderful these things taste. It’s been a long time since I’ve smoked one.”
A low hum came from Summer as she began to prepare her own cigar. Val took another puff and watched her.
“I lost interest in it for a while,” Summer said as she began to light her cigar. “But I picked it up again, because besides working out, cigars are one of the few things that helps settle my mind. Getting lost in the ritual of preparing a cigar and then smoking it soothes me. Takes away the edge of my anxiety and depression.”
Val kept her eyes on Summer as she took a long drag off her cigar, and she continued to stare at her as she let out a slow stream of smoke. The way Summer smoked a cigar captivated Val, and made her pulse quicken. The seductive confidence she exuded seemed to suck Val in, and she was helpless to prevent it from happening. “You’re staring,” Summer remarked.
Val felt her body warm up as she realized she had been staring at Summer, and more specifically, her lips. She took a quick drag off of her own cigar then exhaled the smoke. “I was thinking about the meetings I have tomorrow.”
Summer grunted then chuckled before she drew a puff off her cigar. Still feeling somewhat embarrassed, Val reached for Summer’s glass of water. She took a long drink from it, then set it down and blew out a quiet breath. The sudden rush of arousal took her by surprise, and Val didn’t know what to do with it. She knew she was still attracted to Summer, but the response went way beyond that. “What are you working on right now?” Val asked, needing to focus on something beside her bodily response to Summer.
Summer sighed and stared out into the distance. “I’ve got several meetings to figure out the theme for the first couple of Armstrong events. I also have a fundraiser budget to go through.” She smiled and looked at Val. “I would rather be focused on the initiative and my veterans programs, but if I don’t get this taken care of mom and dad are going to nag me to death about why I haven’t started planning anything.” Summer chuckled and took a drag off of her cigar.
Val tilted her head as she stared at Summer. From what she could recall, it seemed like Summer had thrown herself into the foundation, and she was curious to know something. “Other than traveling around the world and whoring around—”
“Are you ever going to let that go?”
Val smiled. “Nope.” Summer shook her head and took another pull off her cigar. “When was the last time you were on vacation?”
“Not sure,” Summer said with a shrug. “Probably when we went to Greece.”
Val pulled her head back, surprised by the answer. “That was before I had taken office.” Summer nodded, and Val smirked. “Come to Camp David with me.”
“No, I’m not going to do that,” Summer said with a slight shake of her head.
“Oh, come on. It’ll be great being in the mountains, and the fresh air will do you some good,” Val said, hoping Summer would see that some time off would be beneficial for her.
Summer reached for her glass of water and finished it off. “No, thank you, Madam President.” She motioned towards Val. “Enjoy your cigar.”
“I’m going to get you to come to Camp David with me, Colonel,” Val said with a smirk before she took a drag from her cigar.
The two of them sat on the balcony for an hour or so enjoying cigars and making idle conversation, and Val honestly couldn’t remember the last time she felt this relaxed and at ease. The feeling was one that had begun to develop over the last month because Val had been spending more time with Summer, but she didn’t put too much merit into it because of what Summer had told her when they were at the tournament last month.
Summer leaned over and stubbed out her cigar in the ashtray. “I need to get ready for bed. I have a day filled with meetings and I need to wake up early.”
Val put out her own cigar and stood when Summer did. “I should do the same, since I have to sneak out of here before day breaks.”
“You do know you can leave, right?” Summer pointed out as they walked into the living room.
“Shove it, Summer,” Val said, and Summer chuckled as she headed for her room. Val glared at her back before going into the guest room to get ready for bed. Coming over to Summer’s apartment was beginning to have an effect on her, but she couldn’t walk away from her. Val sighed and got the stuff she needed to take her shower.
~~~~
Summer ran the brush through her hair and sighed. The evening with Val had been as enjoyable as their other nights together, but this one had brought up something she did her best not to think about, and it continued to bother her. She set the brush down on the bathroom countertop, and as she walked out, Summer heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. “I’m decent.”
Val came into the room, a smile on her face. “It’s funny you think I care if you’re decent or not.” Summer rolled her eyes as butterflies started to swarm her stomach. “You ready for bed?”
Summer nodded, and the two of them walked over to the bed and got into it. When they were both comfortable, she turned off the light. Having Val in her bed made Summer nervous, and not because she thought it would lead to something, but because it made her feel vulnerable. She may have shown Val bits and pieces of it, but it had been a long time since she had allowed herself to be completely vulnerable with someone, and the feeling seemed to get worse around Val because she was her ex-wife.
The two of them laid there, a wide space between them, and Summer stared at the dark above her. She bit her lip and thought about the topic she wanted to bring up to Val, going back and forth on if she should bother with the loaded conversation or not. “Val…” Summer said quietly. “You awake?”
“Nope.”
Summer hummed. “What you thinking about?”
The room was quiet, then a laugh from Val broke the silence. “What is this? A slumber party?”
Summer chuckled as she realized the absurdity of the question. She drew in a deep breath and released it. “No, I just…” She sighed. “I wanted to talk to you about something, and I…I dunno. I just wanted to make sure you were awake.”
“I am, and you have my full attention,” Val said as she closed the gap between her and Summer.
Summer swallowed, uncertain how to word what she wanted to say. The soft breaths coming from Val distracted her for a moment, and Summer realized she couldn’t approach the subject with Val. She had no right to bring it up, however, this was Val and there were parts of Summer that still saw her as her wife even if they hadn’t been together for quite some time.
She bit the bullet. “Have you…have you been with anyone?” The hesitation in her voice made Summer want to kick her own ass. She should at least have some conviction in her voice if she were going to bring up such a subject.
The room remained quiet for a long moment, then Val asked, “What do you mean?”
“Never mind,” Summer said with an exasperated breath as she rolled onto her side.
She felt Val move, then the light on other side of the bed turned on. “First of all, you don’t get to ask me that question then say ‘never mind’. You knew it was going to open a can of worms. I just wanted to be sure I understood it correctly before I ripped you a new one. Secondly, how dare you have the audacity to ask me that question? And at this hour?” She let out a sharp breath. “What the hell, Summer?
Summer sat up and looked at Val. “Look, forget I asked. Let’s go to bed.”
“No, we’re not going to go to bed and pretend like you didn’t ask this question,” Val argued. “There has to be some logical reason as to why you asked it.”
Summer scowled. “I only asked because I was curious, there’s no need to make a big deal about it.” She grunted softly. “Plus, it’s none of my business anyway.”
“You’re right, it isn’t any of your damn business.” Val glared at her. “You left me. You left me, and decided becoming a whore was a better plan than dealing with your problems.” She blew out an aggravated breath and Summer turned her head to look down at the bedroom floor, regretting her decision to bring up the topic. She heard Val sigh again, then her hand took a gentle hold of Summer’s chin and turned her head. The faint smile on her face told Summer she didn’t completely step into it. “It’s good to know you’re curious.”
The corners of Summer’s mouth twitched up as she shared an emotionally charged stare with Val. Not for the first time, she realized how remarkable she was, and how much she hated herself for the pain she had caused Val and the hell she put her through. Summer took hold of the hand on her chin and moved it, but her fingers remained wrapped around it. “You didn’t answer the question,” she said softly. “You didn’t answer the question,” she said softly.
“I’m not certain you’re ready to hear the answer,” Val replied in a tone as soft as Summer’s. The response made Summer tense up, and she tried not to let the hurt building inside her show on her face, but she knew she had failed when Val moved closer. “No, it’s not what you think, Summer.” She sighed. “You have only just begun to work on the issues you have along with your mental health. I don’t want to mess it up for you.”
Summer held Val’s gaze. She knew where she was coming from, but at the same time she wanted to know the true answer. Letting go of Val’s hand, Summer lifted her own and played with the loose end of the silk scarf covering Val’s hair. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this,” she paused for second, “I miss your natural hair.”
Val rolled her eyes and grinned. “You only miss it because you can’t play with my curls.”
Summer chuckled. “Guilty, but they’re so soft, and I can’t help myself when your hair’s like that.”
“I’ll think about bringing them—”
Summer cut her off with a kiss. Having Val this close in such an intimate setting was something that had tested her restraint the last couple of weeks, and she usually managed to fight it and get through the night okay, but not tonight. Tonight, thinking about Val with someone else made Summer want to show her she still wanted her, despite believing she was no good for her. Val pulled away from the kiss. “Summer, what are you doing?”
Summer began to stammer an excuse, but her thoughts wouldn’t form a coherent sentence and her mouth refused to cooperate. Eventually she blew out a frustrated breath and ran her hand through her hair. “I don’t know. I mean, I do know, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way. I miss you, Val, and thinking of you being with someone else, it…” She sighed and her gaze dropped down to the comforter. “It doesn’t make me feel good.”
“Now you know how I’ve felt for the last two years,” Val said with a small sigh. Summer began to pick at a stitch in the blanket, feeling like a complete idiot. There had been several ways the kiss could have gone, but Summer—like a fool— had thought it would go in her favor. She let out a heavy sigh.
Val placed the fingertips of two of her fingers under Summer’s chin and gently lifted her head, but Summer kept her eyes down. “Summer, look at me.” Summer continued to stare down at the bed. “If you don’t look at me I’m going to tell my dad you tried to make a pass at me, and we all know you’re his favorite person at the moment.”
That got Summer to glare at her. “Your brand of humor is not appreciated at the moment.”
Val grinned. “Oh, but I think it is.” She dropped her hand and bit her bottom lip. “Do you want me?”
The question was one Summer didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know if she genuinely wanted Val or if her jealousy and longing for the past had caused her to kiss her. “I don’t know. I mean, we were just talking, and it seemed like the natural thing to do, but I don’t think my intentions were just. I sort of went with a gut reaction.”
Val nodded and hummed. “There are a lot of things about us that are natural. It’s who we are, but does this mean you want me?”
“More than anything,” Summer answered with no hesitation. She knew she wanted Val in a physical capacity, but anything more than that would toss her into a tailspin.
Val released a frustrated sigh. “How about this,” Summer’s eyebrows furrowed, but she waited to see what Val said. “We will put this on the back burner for now. I want you to focus on you and get yourself in a better place. If we are in the same place once you’re more stable then we can talk about it, okay?”
Summer frowned a little. It sounded like Val was giving her the brush off, but then again, she was determined to make sure her treatment didn’t get derailed or set back. Summer sighed and swallowed down the insecurities that threatened to take her down a dark road. “Yeah, okay,” she replied quietly.
Val leaned in and gave her cheek a kiss. “I’m not shutting you down, Summer,” she whispered. “You are more important at the moment. I want to see you in a better place, that’s all.”
Summer nodded.
“Okay, now let’s go to bed. Both of us will be unbearable in the morning if we don’t get enough sleep.”
They laid down and as Summer cuddled up to Val she murmured, “You’re the unbearable one. I only get aggravated because you’re too busy mumbling under your breath about something I did, or did not, do.”
“You better not be bringing up the incident where you hid my press briefing just to watch me run around the house half naked,” Val said, and Summer grinned when she heard the slight irritation in her voice.
She pulled the blanket up. “No, not at all.” She knew the response hadn’t been convincing, and when Val pinched her side, she laughed.
Val tightened her hold around Summer and said, “Go to sleep, Summer.” Summer hummed and closed her eyes. This had become their new routine over the last month, and Summer honestly couldn’t say she hated it, but it
did make things inside her head more confusing. However, that was something she could tackle in the morning.
Chapter Twenty-One
Val pursed her lips as she listened to Jabir and Addison argue over the recent order to send more troops to help the Alliance. Her day had taken a nosedive over the last three hours, and it seemed to be getting worse. It had been fairly uneventful to begin with; she had worked out, reviewed some briefings, and held a couple of meetings with some senators about a new piece of legislation working its way through Congress, but then the bodies of the soldiers had been recovered, and Val had taken charge in arranging their transport back to the states along with the funerals, which were being held at Arlington National Cemetery. She planned to go to every one of them.
However, the planning had been interrupted when Addison came into the Oval and slammed a lawsuit onto her desk. It stated she had violated a section of the 2072 treaty when she gave the order to deploy more troops, citing that not all of the Alliance leaders had agreed with the extra support, and it also accused Val of using heavy handed tactics and bullying the Alliance. Perhaps she had in some way, but not entirely. She had presented to them information on two corrupt officials and recommended they be removed from power before it led to something that put the global community at risk.
“We should present the information on Nasir and Hasem to the leaders of U.N., and let them know what we found,” Secretary Kanaan argued. “They will be in agreement with President Hawkins and dismiss the case.”
Addison scoffed. “Yes, we present what we know, and then we’ll tell them the president held the Alliance over a barrel because she wanted to handle it all on her own.” She shook her head. “This wasn’t handled properly, and now we’re dealing with the consequences.”
“The only reason why this lawsuit is being entertained is because of Iraq,” Val commented, deciding to put an end to their back and forth. “Nasir and Hasem are playing the victim act, and they are using the law to do it.” She blew out a long breath. “Our lawyers and the Alliance’s will handle this. Nasir and Hasem do not have a leg to stand on once we get the evidence out there.”