by Eva Brandt
What the fuck had happened after I’d been knocked out? Groaning, I reached for my head and tried to remember. The only thing I managed was to make my headache worse.
A sudden voice snapped me out of my daze. “Breathe, Mathias. “Don’t force yourself. You were very badly injured.”
Darius was by my side, observing me with keen, concerned eyes. I didn’t know how I’d missed his presence before, but my inability to notice the obvious didn’t matter right now. Seeing someone else use my body like this should’ve unsettled me, but instead it filled me with such relief I could’ve cried.
Naturally, I didn’t. My tears had dried a long time ago. I tended to save them for special occasions, like, for example, realizing I’d become so lost in my own hatred I’d almost killed my own wife.
For the moment, I was back with my own people, which meant someone in the know must’ve rescued me after the battle at the wedding. “Everyone else is here,” Darius explained, immediately catching onto my train of thought. “It’s a long story.”
“Okay then. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
Darius rolled his eyes at me, and I was reminded of a different time, so long ago, when he’d been wearing a different face, that of the fugitive Viking prince who’d fallen in love with the cursed princess. It looked like some things never changed, no matter what.
But in this life, it would be different. In this life, I’d make sure we won the battle. After everything that had happened, we deserved to have a real future with Dahud, with Lucienne. To accomplish that, I’d tear the whole world apart if I had to.
* * *
Pierce
I couldn’t believe it. Somehow, Mathias Vandale had both recovered from his injury and managed to connect with my mind. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been comatose, in a condition that had seemed as serious as Louis’s. I’d suspected he’d come back, of course, but this was too soon.
It took everything in my power to not freak out while he was there. Through sheer anger and spite, I forced him away. But this was only the beginning of the battle. Vandale wouldn’t give up. Our time was running out, faster than I’d thought.
I tried to not let Lucienne see my agitation, but I must’ve failed, because she pulled away from my embrace and cupped my cheek with a gentle hand. “Are you all right, Pierce? I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed us into this.”
“Don’t apologize to me, Lucienne,” I answered. “I’m the one who made the mistake.”
Truth be told, I owed her more than an apology. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ would be offensive taking into account what I’d just done. I’d lost my head, forgotten all about the decision I’d made, about my responsibility to protect her. Despite how much I hated Mathias, I felt a pang of resentful gratitude for his prompt arrival. If he hadn’t shown up, I would’ve fucked her. I’d already taken far more than I should have, but if he hadn’t stopped me, it could’ve been so much worse.
Of course, Lucienne didn’t realize the reason for my very justifiable self-hatred. Still, there must’ve been something on my face that told her I wouldn’t budge on this, so she let it go. With a sigh, she reached for her clothes and started getting dressed again. “We both made mistakes, but maybe we should stop focusing on the past and focus on the future instead.”
The comment struck me as a little strange, since it almost sounded like she was talking about something that had happened a long time ago, not in the past ten minutes. No, it was foolish to think that. The visit from Mathias had just shaken me. If something had changed about Lucienne’s mental state, I’d have been able to tell.
“That sounds perfect,” I replied. “We can be as kinky as you want once we’re married.”
“I look forward to it,” she said, grinning at me. “Besides, I think I owe you a blowjob, and I never forget my debts.”
The teasing comment went directly to my cock, making arousal surge through me again despite my knowledge that it wouldn’t go anywhere. I hastily tried to leash it, to tell myself she owed me nothing and I had other priorities right now. It was a little difficult, when she was so close to me, with her magic still dancing over her skin, her face still flushed, and her lips swollen from my kisses.
Gods be damned, why did things have to be this way? Why couldn’t we just be a regular couple, regular soulmates who didn’t have to worry about ancient curses, shattered souls, evil parents, and diseases caused by dark magic?
“You know, you’re not making it very easy on me to hold onto my resolve. I’m very tempted to kidnap you and run away somewhere no one will ever find us.”
Unfortunately, no such place existed, as the Dames Blanches were nothing if not determined and I’d always be bound to Mathias and the others. Besides, I doubted Lucienne would want to leave Louis. As far as she knew, her father was a good man who loved her and had been unjustly attacked by the cruel plagues. She wanted to avenge him, and wouldn’t just stop because I wanted to elope with her.
“Maybe once we’ve figured out a solution to the problem with Vandale,” she replied, just like I’d known she would. Her expression sobered and she set the matter of our relationship aside. “I spoke with Aunt Delphine. She’s sending me to the States, to deal with the Alarians.”
I’d expected her to want to focus on catching Mathias and the others, but this was a little much. “With the Alarians? Why?”
That was crazy. Why would the Dames Blanches take such a risk? Were they trying to use Lucienne as bait in an attempt to lure Mathias and the others out? I couldn’t say it was a bad plan, but Lucienne’s condition was too delicate for her to be involved in something that could go wrong so quickly.
“It’s complicated. It looks like a group of fae have some information on Mathias Vandale for us, but the Alarians have been giving them trouble. I can understand they want to find their missing prince, but their involvement might prove to be counterproductive in the long run.” She wrinkled her nose in a way that made her look far too cute for the conversation we were having. “I’m supposed to make sure the whole thing doesn’t blow up in our faces, and you’re going with me.”
Well, thank fuck for that. The Dames Blanches hadn’t lost all sense, although I was withholding judgment until I spoke with them in private and found out what in the name of the gods they were thinking. “Is that what you want to do?” I asked my soulmate. “Even if you have to leave Louis behind?”
“I’m not helping Father by staying here, stewing in my anger, and struggling with my magic.” Lucienne clenched her jaw, and the fierce power she’d been trying so hard to control danced over her skin again. Her eyes shone with a distant glint of insanity. “They need to pay for what they’ve done to us, don’t you think, Pierce? They need to pay for everything we’ve lost, all our pain and suffering.”
Her voice held a secret darkness that sent shivers down my spine. I looked at her and remembered who she’d been once—a woman who had committed genocide in the name of her lost family, whose name a lot of people still feared to say.
Dahud, the damned princess most people identified as the ‘mother’ of all Accursed. The soulmate who’d killed me—albeit indirectly—when I’d been a newborn.
I didn’t begrudge or fear her because of it. If anything, I was afraid for her, because she’d suffered far more than I had. The dark magic had splintered my soul and cast me into oblivion, but I didn’t remember any of it, since it was only this past century that I’d managed to make my way back. Lucienne, on the other hand, had continued to be reborn, usually with the shards of my soul by her side, manifesting into creatures who didn’t deserve her.
In this life, I could fix it. I could fix myself at last. “Don’t worry, Lucienne,” I told her. “We’re going to make sure they’re punished, together.”
Lucienne smiled brightly at me, the madness in her gaze drifting away. “Thank you, Pierce. I knew you’d understand.”
When I hugged her again, the touch held nothing sexual, only the desire to prot
ect. Yes, I might be a horrible person for taking what she hadn’t genuinely offered. I might have lied to her and broken her trust. I might have used her and I’d continue doing so, until I found a way around the curse, at least.
But I had forced myself to discard that, for her own good. After all this was over, she might hate me. She might even want to kill me for everything I’d done. It was still the only way she could find freedom and happiness. I believed in that, in rescuing Lucienne from the power that constantly pushed her into death and madness.
She’d already suffered so much. I couldn’t allow her to succumb to her insanity again. Even if I had to betray the whole world—including her—I’d break the damn curse, or die trying.
Five
Banished Regrets
Darius
“So let me get this straight? Pierce is actually Lucienne’s true soulmate. It’s just that some evil bitch cast a spell on him to heal her in our first life, leading to his soul splintering and us appearing. And now, the rest of his soul has finally healed up and it’s back, without needing us.”
Despite his apparent disbelief, Bjorn didn’t seem that surprised about this revelation. I wasn’t sure what details he’d had before Mathias had decided to share everything with us, but he must’ve known more than I had.
This was so irritating.
Mathias nodded, and the lines of stress around his eyes kept me from lashing out at him for keeping all these secrets. “And she’s the reincarnation of Dahud, the princess of Kerys, who was my wife and Alois’s mother.”
“Wait a minute, I’m confused,” Malachai piped up. “I thought she died while trying to... resurrect her soulmate by having children. A lot of children.”
“That wasn’t what happened. The legend got twisted, like most stories do. She died shortly after she gave birth to Alois, but the person who cast the spell knew it wasn’t over. She happened to be my aunt. So she made it her business to try to fix things.” Mathias grimaced. “There’s been a lot of... unpleasantness since then between us.”
It didn’t take a genius to understand what he was referring to. “I take it, over time, your aunt became your uncle, and now, he’s Lucienne’s father.”
“Unfortunately for us, yes. He’s had more success in this life than during past ones, although I’m not sure if it’s because of something he did or just coincidence.”
“I thought we’ve already agreed there’s no such thing as a coincidence, Mathias,” Declan said, taking a drag out of his cigarette. He’d been chain-smoking for the past ten minutes, and we were all so confused, relieved, and concerned that we hadn’t bothered telling him to stop. “But it doesn’t really matter what Louis did to make sure Lucienne was born as his daughter. What matters is what he’s going to do now. There’s no way in hell Pierce is going to allow us to live.”
“We did evolve past our original state, but yes, we’re too dangerous for him,” Mathias agreed. “And the reverse is also valid. He’s too dangerous for us. Only I have no idea how to get rid of him without destroying Lucienne and maybe even us.”
Well, wasn’t that just fucking peachy? If Mathias didn’t know, the rest of us didn’t have a single hope to figure it out. I still intended to look into it, but it would be a little difficult with the fierce migraine that was trying to split my skull open.
I did my best to hide my agony, but as expected, my efforts were pointless. Bjorn had been giving me long looks for the past ten minutes, and Declan was keeping his distance from me and deliberately trying to not blow the cigarette smoke in my direction. The small crease in Malachai’s brow signaled the fact that he’d noticed too.
In the end, it was Declan who brought it up. “Okay. So let’s start at the beginning. How likely is it that the Alarian Vow returned, now that you’re here?”
Mathias didn’t flinch. He watched me with unreadable silver eyes, and for the first time, I realized how unnerving that gaze could be. “Pretty likely, I’d say. But it’s not just the vow that is the problem.
“I’ll be honest with you. We’re taking a huge risk here. The memories I have... The memories from our past lives... They’re not conducive to a healthy mental state. I showed Declan, because I had no choice, but if I were to show you or if you were to learn it in a different way—such as through the recollections imprinted in my physical brain—it could permanently break you. And if that happens, we’ll lose the battle with Pierce and Louis before we even start it.”
“So do you suggest switching bodies again?” I asked him. It would probably be for the best, since I still felt I’d broken his trust a little when I’d had sex with Declan. At the same time, though, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.
“Not yet,” Mathias replied. “We can’t rush into anything. We might make things worse if we do. I’d like to see if we can do more with Alois’s pendant now that we’re together, but I’ll need some time to study it. I haven’t had it in a while.”
“Well, I hate to say this, but I’m not sure we can rely on that. The stone has been cold and dead since the battle, and I don’t think that’s a good sign.”
As he spoke, Malachai retrieved the now familiar gem from his coat. He never went without it, and on occasion, I saw him instinctively reach for it. But like he had said, the magic that had been inside it was gone. The High King’s Privilege was just a stone now.
Mathias took it from Malachai and his hand shook when he made contact with the gem. “Then here’s where we must start. Don’t underestimate Alois. He’s just as stubborn as his mother.”
Despite his words, I could tell the sight of the pendant affected him. He hadn’t known about what had happened to Alois until we’d told him, and while he hadn’t freaked out, I suspected he was only hiding the true extent of his pain.
“He might have gone back to the Palasion,” I suggested. “Souls are often tied to their remains, and while Alois has always had more freedom than most, he did expend a lot of energy while helping you make your escape. There’s a good chance that he might be there.”
“So in other words, we need to break into our former headquarters,” Declan said. “That’ll be fun. And just in case I wasn’t clear, by fun, I mean pretty fucking dreadful.”
He was right, but even so, his words still made me smile. “We’ve already agreed that there’s no going back now. We’ve killed a lot of innocent people recently, Declan. I know that if we do this, I’ll have to fight my own family. But some things are more important than others, right?”
Mathias shot me a haunted look and I wondered who he truly saw in me. This whole business with the reincarnation explained why he’d behaved so strangely toward me and why he’d agreed to the body swap, but it still left me with so many questions and doubts.
Who had I been and what had I meant to him? To all of them? To Lucienne? To Declan?
It was a question that would need to wait. “I’ll start making the arrangements. I’m sure your men will be absolutely thrilled to add some Alarian to their diet, even if they’ve eaten well lately.”
Mathias snorted. “You have that right. They’re loyal, but they’re not that bright and their arrogance often surpasses their self-preservation. Most of them don’t think they can die unless I allow it.”
“You say that like it isn’t true,” Declan muttered, finally extinguishing his cigarette in an ashtray. “For the record, my vote goes to Darius coordinating the operation from the distance without actually getting involved. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to fight his family. But I know better than to think he’d go for it.”
“I’m right here, you know,” I pointed out, annoyed. “And no, I’m not staying behind. I have a headache. I’m not an invalid.”
Declan grumbled, but didn’t reply. I wanted to slap him, shake him, and fuck him, but we didn’t have time for either of the options. We didn’t have time to fight at all.
“I’ll be careful, all right? And Bjorn can stick close like before, to make sure nothing goes wrong.”
“I suppose we can’t expect anything more than that,” Mathias said with a sigh. Even if the Alois plan had technically started from his suggestion, he wasn’t any happier about it than Declan.
This whole conversation was getting a little ridiculous. I could understand them being concerned about me, but I wasn’t the one in the most danger. I was surrounded by people who were on my side. Yes, most of them might be plagues, but like Mathias had said, they were loyal.
Meanwhile, Lucienne was her family’s captive. Gods only knew what Pierce would be doing to her while we stood here, bickering.
As it turned out, the others hadn’t forgotten this either. “There’s one more thing,” Bjorn said. “We have to consider the option of continuing to poke at Pierce’s mind. Yes, it’s dangerous, but the alternative turns my stomach. And until we have a permanent solution, the soul connection is our only weapon, even if it’s a double-edged blade.”
I knew without being told that he intended to do this himself. And why wouldn’t he? Other than me and Mathias, he was the one most talented at mind magic among us. Mathias had already exposed himself to Pierce once. Trying again could get him killed. I was in no condition to do complicated astral magic. But Bjorn was an incubus. If he got a boost from one of us, he might be able to do more damage than Mathias had.
“Just don’t forget to pace yourself,” Mathias warned him. “The last time you absorbed too much mind magic, it nearly broke you, remember?”
Wait, what? When had this happened and why hadn’t been told?
“Excuse me? Nearly broke you? What the fuck is he talking about, Bjorn?”
Bjorn threw a glare toward Mathias, but Mathias just smiled, unrepentant. “You haven’t forgotten, have you? He absorbed Lucienne’s magic to mind-control Cardinal Vaughn. The side-effects were pretty similar to what you’re experiencing now.”
When Mathias had first told me about Bjorn’s plan, back in my mindscape, I’d been jealous. Lucienne was my soulmate, and I hadn’t wanted her and Bjorn to be together.