Somehow, Lukas and I had decided on the same conclusion to this romp, we both wanted total surrender from Paul, we wanted him to accept the loss of control, we were the people he trusted most in the world after all.
He didn't speak out against us being unfair, he just kept up the struggle until he had to admit there was no way he could free himself from the two of us, and then he gave up and laid still.
At first, he looked defeated and chagrined at our unfairness, but slowly he seemed to realize we were the people he loved and who loved him, and bit by bit he let go of his control over his body and trusted it to the two of us.
It was a very profound moment, I could see the release in his face, the tension draining away from him, and trust and love taking its place.
Now Lukas, who had appeared to be holding and watching Paul impassively, let his real feelings show on his sweet face, and I truly believed I saw a tiny part of his hidden depth again as he touched Paul fearlessly, tenderly brushing away a stray curl from Paul's face, and kissing him lightly on the lips.
Though we had released him by now, my bossy husband seemed to quite like his submissive position, for he made no move to get up or even change it, and even when I kissed his now boyish face he only accepted the kiss, he did not return it actively or touch me in return.
This worried me of course, and he just said mildly: 'Don't worry, I'm just enjoying not trying to be in control. It's more difficult when you two are not helping me, but I'm still succeeding.
Please go on, please love me, I'm feeling it now as I never have been able to feel it, but it's not going to last, I want to make the most of it now.
So I kissed him, and Lukas and I both stroked him and fondled him, and he just let it happen, enjoying it to the full.
After a few minutes he took control again, and the special moment had passed, but I was certain that now we knew it could be done, we would find a way to release him from his need for control again in the future.
We left it at that, and performed and submitted to magic as we had planned.
Paul showed me how to check Lukas for spells, activating magic all around him, and trying to detect any magic in all the different traditions Paul knew.
Then I checked his internal structures, and I found him accumulating the pink energy much like his father, but no red or green stuff, no worshipers and no harvesting of energy from the world around us. He clearly got plenty of love, which satisfied me that Lukas was happy with us. I could see no tampering in his emotions or mind, though of course I realized there was a lot I didn't know about empathic magic.
Lukas then checked my connections, and found my energy composed of blue power, and nothing else. Love was of no use to me in powering my magic, I really had to gather it for myself from the usual sources.
And in my mind and feelings there was no reason to suspect tampering either.
It was a relief to both myself and Lukas, knowing we had not been taken in by magic, but just won by Hermes' personal charm and in Lukas' case, by memories of the past.
I didn't think of him all the time, having had my lust drained kept my body quiet, and any attraction his vulnerable state afforded him was greatly reduced by not seeing him before me. I was glad to fall asleep without experiencing any more stimulating thoughts of him, and I hoped my dreams would be undisturbed by his attractions.
Chapter 56
But there I was wrong, in the middle of the night I awoke with a gasp, having had a very vivid dream of Hermes and me, making love avidly in the greenhouse at the Nomes' estate.
There were no statues in the house to send a dream, and Hermes couldn't magic his way out of a paper bag at the moment, and anyway, I didn't think he'd ever been in the greenhouse, so the only possible conclusion had to be that my own subconscious had presented me with this fantasy.
It was not a nice realization, it felt much like swooning, my body betraying me in a weakness that disgusted me.
How could I beat this? I didn't want these feelings, I had finally settled with the man I had pursued for nearly half a year, finally reached an understanding despite a big complication in the shape of an appealing and loving goat-man.
I wanted to live happily ever after, work out our own little lives, and enjoy them. Part of me told the rest it wouldn't be such a big deal to give Hermes what he wanted, he'd probably let it go after having made love a few times, Paul wouldn't mind so much.
But that wasn't the problem to me, the problem was that I wanted to be in control of my own life, not my lust, not my tender streak.
I could not find sleep again, my feelings plagued me, I felt lust, the aftermath of the dream haunted me, touching that fabulous body, having such a powerful man love me, give himself up to me, followed by the remembrance of my first weeks with Paul, the silent admiration I felt for him, the intensity with which he looked at me, still looked at me, his incredible artistry, acquired with hard work and dedication, so like my own.
I remembered the first time I met Lukas, the love I still felt for him, and the shock of learning his real age, then his father's needy look struck me again, and I remembered the dream, so much like that first morning with Lukas, who had needed me as badly.
As my head kept spinning, and I tossed and turned restlessly, I felt a soft
touch on my shoulder. Turning around I found Lukas looking at me, wide awake, and he softly said: 'Come to me.'
I was totally overcome by this sweet recognition of my need, and within a heartbeat I was in his arms, head buried in his chest, crying my eyes out, quietly though, so as not to wake up Paul.
Lukas did not show any sign of distress at my display of emotions, he just held me in silence, caressing me gently, not trying to appease me or stop my crying, letting me cry myself out. It felt good, so incredibly good, to share my embarrassment and my grief with someone I knew wouldn't be hurt by it, or judge me for feeling it.
When my tears ran dry, and I looked up at him, I could see he was really emotional as well, not crying, but definitely feeling something very strongly.
'I can still feel the love you gave me those first days very clearly, Melissa, the rest is hazy, but the love stands out, as if it was yesterday that you saved my life.' Lukas' voice was rough with feeling. I couldn't speak, my emotions still had me by the throat.
'I can feel what that memory does to you right now. To you, this situation is the same, Hermes needs your love, and you desperately want to save him, but you are no longer able to give your love freely.'
He ran his hand through my hair and said, still affected: 'I put it to you that the situation is not the same. My father is not going to die without you, he is not even desperately unhappy without you. He has a serious crush on you but it is, as you so aptly named it, just lust, he'll get over it.'
Now I managed to say: 'But it is not just that I want to save him, I think of touching his body, I dream of making love to him, my body aches for him.
Why? I get plenty of love from the two of you, I don't even want his.
Remember how desperately I wanted Paul to love me? Why can't I be satisfied with having that longing fulfilled? I don't want to risk hurting him, losing him.'
Lukas now spoke soothingly, still caressing me tenderly: 'Beloved, he doesn't blame you for anything, this hasn't hurt you at all in Paul's eyes. He admires you for resisting the seduction of being loved by a god, don't underestimate my father's charisma, even without active use of magic. I'm very sure Paul wouldn't even find fault with your giving in to it, he'd understand.'
Now Lukas hands were still for a moment, and I looked up at him again, finding a sad look on his face, something I couldn't remember having seen
there before.
He took my face in both his hands, kissed me gently and spoke in that same, rough, voice of a few moments earlier: 'I'm ashamed to admit that Paul has the advantage on me there, Melissa. I plead you, beg you even, will you please not give in to your longing for my father? Will you keep resisting his avances for m
e as well as for Paul? I've changed I'm afraid, I find the thought of sharing you with him unbearable.'
His face fell even more as he said this, and his expression just wrung my heart. He usually cried easily, but it seemed as if this confession was so hard for him he couldn't even find relief in shedding a few tears over it.
My own spirits lifted instantly by this endearing confession, I tightened my hold on my dearly beloved friend, and I tried to keep my voice light as I said:
'Oh my love, I don't think you are changing into a Victorian, unable to share love.
I'm sure it's perfectly natural not to want to share lovers with your own father, even for you. I promise you I will do everything in my power to resist your father's attraction, and I'll do it for all of us, including George. You know I love you to bits, don't you?'
Lukas nodded, and we kissed.
'Will you do me a big favour?' I asked Lukas. He nodded again.
'I want you to totally drain my lust away before we go back to sleep, to prevent me from having one of those dreams again,' I sincerely believed this would help me resist my body's pull towards Hermes.
Any sadness, guilt, or other negative feeling was instantly gone from Lukas'
face, as fire sprang to life in his eyes, and he looked at me again in that way that took my breath away, which was actually not his way, but Paul's.
Without saying another word, he kissed me with all the fire I had seen in his eyes, which didn't help at all getting enough air in my lungs.
Then his arms closed around me again, pressing me to his chest, and I felt his love and his need for me as clearly as if he'd opened his mind to mine.
They were deeper and much larger than ever before, and from that moment on I feared we Victorians had indeed infected Lukas with our morals somehow, I sincerely hoped he was still able to share his love, that his plea concerning his father was an exception.
But my fears were very quickly overruled by passion, as he lowered me to the bed, and still surrounded by his arms, kissed greedily by his dented lips, I felt
his solid erection slide right into me and touch me inside, making me forget all my worries, insecurities and heated thoughts of his father.
There was only one true master of the art of love, and he was holding me in his arms right now, laughing again, in his element, making me moan with desire, eager for more.
Not even a god could best this, I had never been more sure of anything in my life, he was riding me with energy, and every one of his thrusts seemed to hit the right nerve inside me, tingling through me, making my mind spin with pleasure, the tension in me rising and rising, until I had a shuddering climax, which he rode until it died down, leaving only the heat between my legs and a huge lust for more.
Removing himself from me he controlled his own rising passion to continue his love-making with his tongue, every movement of this soft, agile appendage on my throbbing clitoris sending shocks through me, waves of pleasure coming over me again and again, until I climaxed again, after which he continued, using his nimble fingers to heighten my sensations even more.
He was surely planning to drain my lust totally, for he didn't stop there, he gave me climax after climax until I could hardly feel aroused anymore, I just knew I was totally sated.
But of course he was the master of loving and he proved me wrong, for when he draped my legs around his neck, and entered me forcefully once more, with the luscious flesh of my legs no longer in his way, he reached a place inside me that had never been touched before.
As he plunged in and out with lightning speed and matching force, a whole new set of ecstatic feelings came into existence inside me, to be explored, not at his leisure, but at a frantic speed that proved his own towering need.
This was even better than before, why put such a supremely sensitive spot where no-one but the most eager would ever find it?
I didn't know and I couldn't think about it either, for my last onset of arousal was coming to a quick and very intense high, released from me in a series of shudders, flaring up the tiniest bit with the last frantic plunges from my lover.
Then he crashed on me, markedly out of breath this time, a sign of his extreme effort to drain me, but I couldn't help feeling smug, maybe also to impress me with his prowess?
Well, he had certainly managed to do that. As I thoroughly enjoyed his heaving body on me, enveloped in his strong musky scent, I felt utterly and
totally spent.
There was not even a hint of lust left in my body, I tested it by imagining Hermes' burning eyes and his enticing scent, but I felt only total satisfaction and admiration for his gorgeous son.
'You must have heard this many times before, Lukas, but you are the best,' I whispered to the still heaving man on my chest.
He smiled broadly, and admitted: 'I have heard that a lot before, but I've never worked as hard for it as just now. Thank you. Did it work?'
This with a lot more humour than before.
'It most certainly did, I can't feel anything even resembling lust anymore, just satisfaction and admiration for your skills.'
Now the smile broadened even more, making him look as cute and as innocent as ever, and he rolled off me and laid in my embrace, overcome with sleep now, but fighting it to see me happy. 'I'm good, Lukas, I'm tired too and my mind is free of thoughts and people I don't want there. Go to sleep, rest easy,' I told him, and I stroked his curls tenderly.
That had him asleep in seconds, and I took a few seconds to check on Paul, who was still sleeping, then I snuggled against Lukas and fell asleep soon after.
No enticing dreams disturbed my sleep, and I woke up refreshed and ready for a new day.
And had Lukas now cured my infatuation miraculously?
Unfortunately, no, I did still think of Hermes several times a day, but Lukas'
plea had added another motive to resist it. Not wanting to give either myself or Hermes oil to fuel our crush with, I did not go to the Nomes' that day, and Paul stayed with me the whole day.
In the morning we went to a building site, to check materials for Mr Jones, on the other side of town. He sent a carriage to fetch me, making me feel really special.
He got his money's worth out of me though, for we discovered several serious faults in expensive blocks of natural sandstone, and not all of the wood was of the prime quality it was supposed to be. We marked the faulty pieces and paid our compliments to Mr Jones himself, who had come over to hear our verdict on the materials.
Planning to visit the workshop the following day, to check on his commissioned boilers and pumps, he told us he would gladly look at the
drawings for the greenhouse, to make an offer on the iron frame. We had a copy with us, and handed it over to him.
When we returned, Lukas was back from his morning run and visit to his father, and in the late morning and early afternoon he was with Paul in the workshop, the guys working on their projects for Mr Jones.
I was calculating and drawing the four possible inventions very precisely, and the extreme concentration that my work demanded caused me to long for silence and solitude, so I retreated to my own apartment, where I found total peace for a few hours.
This was me in my element, nothing could come between me and measurements and figures, no men, gods or even food.
The guys had to fetch me for lunch and for dinner, for I would not stop of my own accord, and after that day we had four detailed drawings of inventions that were ready to shoot and scrap, or turn into a prototype.
Paul and I spent a quiet evening together, with Lukas at the manor to see his father, the two of us talking a lot about our hopes and expectations for the future, and it became clear to me that Paul had thought a lot on Tristan's remarks about him being too young to be stuck in a life-long position already.
To develop as a mage, Paul was now convinced he needed to broaden his experience, to see something of the world, and he was thinking more and more of working towards the subtlety he had so admired in T
ristan's magic, and towards his adept-testing.
I was thrilled to hear him talk with energy about magic as a challenge, instead of as a duty to be performed for the rest of his life, shackled to his fate and to his house in the city. This was the man I knew, the lively, exciting inventor.
Actually, the evening felt much like how I had imagined our wedding-night, after our hectic real first night as a married couple, this one seemed destined to finally bring that intense togetherness, contemplating the future, looking back on our life together so far.
We were both totally relaxed, and in that same spirit we retreated to our bedroom where we made love as quietly as we had spent the whole night.
That didn't mean I wasn't totally drained of lust afterwards, Paul had seen to that in his usual thorough manner, and though I didn't look forward to another long night, I didn't dread it either.
During that whole evening I hadn't thought of any man but the one I had wanted from the first time I saw him, who loved me so intensely that him
looking at me could still cause my heart to skip a beat.
We didn't wait for Lukas to come home and just stayed in bed, slowly falling asleep in each other's arms.
Until I woke again with a start in the middle of the night, having had one of those dreams, finding Hermes in agonizing pain, dazed, with no clue who or where he was. I had taken him in, and saved his life with tender care and all the love I could give. No steaming lovemaking this time, but heart-rending scenes of helplessness and deep feelings.
Wide awake, I realized that the helpless creature of my dreams was not really Hermes, but a combination I had made myself of Lukas' emaciated and beaten former self, of Paul's self-assured but love-starved and hopelessly enamoured side, and even some parts of Jonathan as I first met him, noble, strong, but lonely and suffering in silence.
This realization was very healthy for me, clearly Lukas was right, I did have a tender streak, for I had not dreamt of Hermes overwhelming me with his masculinity, he had been helpless and in great need.
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