“Mia…” I start but she cuts me off.
“No, Julian. You are the architect of everything evil that lives in me, you asshole!”
We’re breathing hard and fast, staring at each other, feeling I’m tied to her by some kind of invisible rope that she tugs every time she looks at me.
“It shouldn’t fucking surprise you then,” I start and she narrows her eyes.
“What?”
“The fact that you bring out the worst in me.”
It’s the rawest confession I’ve ever admitted to anyone in my life. How crazy and stupid is that? Admitting your weaknesses to the one person who fucks you up inside, so much so you can hardly sleep under the same roof with fear of growing addicted to seeing her every second of every day.
“It shouldn’t fucking destroy you that I hate you this much, but it will,” I start, watching her. “It shouldn’t surprise you that I’m probably going to hurt you where it’ll fucking shatter you for Aiden. For kissing Liam when you should’ve been kissing me. For causing all this crap in my life, turning it upside down without a care in the world.”
She listens silently, delicate tears running down her face, but fuck my life, she’s still so damn beautiful, my chest hurts.
“You’re right,” she whispers. “It doesn’t surprise me just how hateful, empty, cold and angry you are.”
She leans in closer to me, her gaze dropping to my lips, then back to my eyes.
“Nothing about your monster surprises me,” she admits, her voice quiet and deadly. “But I didn’t try to hurt Liam.”
I wish I could fucking believe that.
“I saw you that night. I saw the way that fucking asshole was with you,” I press, wanting to hear the sweet lies roll off her tongue like they did when we kissed.
“Nothing happened!” she exclaims. “He just made me hold his—”
“Hold his what?” I deadpan, waiting to hear more lies from her.
“It doesn’t matter what I say, does it?” She cocks her head to the left, her voice dropping to a chilly tone, “You won’t believe a word I say.”
What the fuck does she think? That I’d make the same mistake twice of trusting her with me? Un-fucking-likely.
“You kissed me then served my brother up to the tabloids for them to eviscerate him, you think I’d believe a word that comes out of your mouth?”
“You kissed me!” she gasps, then pushes me away, and this time I let her. She starts for the door but then stops for one last word. “And if I recall, it wasn’t even that good.”
“Really?”
Something in me snaps and she sees it on my face. I grab her tiny waist, then turn her around with a perfect maneuver, her back is plastered to my front, her ass nestling my hard dick.
“What did he give you?”
I snake a hand down her taut stomach, then down her left thigh to go under her little school skirt. I slip my hand in her hot, wet pussy. I press my forehead to hers and groan in pain.
“Someone’s already wet for me,” I growl.
She’s breathing hard and fast when I slip my fingers into her pussy and slowly start to fuck her. She’s trembling, a gasp lodged on her tongue that she won’t let out.
“Open your damn eyes.” I snap. They fly open and aquamarine orbs stare back at me, lust making them hazy.
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” I whisper, watching her.
She moans even louder when I slip another finger in. Then another.
“You’ll never be anyone else, will you?”
She bites her lip, and it drives me insane, I immediately kiss her., slowly fucking her tight pussy. Once, twice, three times and she tries to scream into the kiss. I take it all.
Her body shudders as tremor after tremor rocks through her. When she calms down, we both freeze, realization of what just happened stark between us.
Like she just got electrocuted, Mia jumps away from me, horror written all over her face. She fixes her skirt and her shirt, but I stand there and decide to mess with her.
Licking my fingers, I hum and she freezes, her cheeks turning red.
“I like your blush,” I whisper. “Be a good little puppet and open your shirt so we see where it goes.”
I see her slap before it lands on my cheek, making me chuckle.
“Yeah, there’s that monster,” I whisper.
“I hate you,” she says with a gasp.
“The feeling is mutual,” I mutter. “Want another orgasm to make you feel better?” I start for her but before I can reach for her, she steps up to me, then places a hand over my engorged jeans, my hard dick pulsates even more when she touches me.
“You’re not the only who can play games,” she says, her voice sultry and airy. But before I can say anything, she squeezes, I groan, then she presses her lips over mine and kisses me.
I swear, my fucking heart stops beating all together.
She kisses me with anger and passion, with all her pain, her confusion and her frustration.
She kisses me with the burden on her shoulders, letting me know with the flick of her tongue fucking mine just how fucked up her insides are right now with everything that’s happening.
For a moment, I’m stunned but when she pulls away, everything but her sass and wickedness is gone.
“Don’t touch me ever again.”
And with that, she picks up her purse that I hadn’t notice was on the floor, shoots me a wink and then she’s gone. Leaving me strung so fucking high, I consider of beating one out right here, in this dirty supply closet.
“Damn you, Little Minx.” I whisper.
“Who the hell was that girl?” Mom demands the moment I get back. I look at Liam and he raises a brow.
“You didn’t tell her?” I question, looking away, Mia’s words about Liam’s feelings for her echoing in my fucking head.
“Well, she wanted to hear it from you. Apparently, I lie a lot and you don’t keep secrets.”
He watches me, as if trying to see through me, searching for those damn secrets that he knows exist.
“Does Liam know the deal you made with your dad?”
“For God’s sake, who was that girl with a foul mouth?” Mom demands, arms folded. “And where did you go?”
“I had something important to do,” I murmur, shooting Liam a look. “How come you don’t know her?”
“Am I supposed to?” She frowns.
“Yes!” Liam exclaims. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all this time while J was chasing ass.”
“I don’t want to hear any of that or who you boys drop your pants for, Liam.” Mom waves her hands in the air. “Who is she?”
“Oh, mommy dearest, that’s our new step-sister, cousin or whatever,” Liam announces, evil mirth in his eyes.
“What?” Mom shrieks, her purse dropping to the floor.
I face palm myself and shoot Liam a look. Nice going, asshat.
“What do you mean by she’s your new step-sister?”
Her eyes are wide with panic. Liam looks at me, now realizing what’s going on.
“Wait, he didn’t tell you?” Liam starts, a smile on his face. “Dad didn’t tell you that he’s getting married?”
“No, that son of a—” she cuts herself off, then she starts to pace. “That man didn’t tell me that that you were in here, let alone that he’s getting married to some whore with a grown child!”
“Calm down, Mom. I’m sure John had his reasons,” Liam says, rolling his eyes.
“Reasons?” Mom seethes, going full-blown angry right in front of us. “What reasons could he possibly have that trump his own blood? His family?”
“Well, off the top of my head, his soon-to-be-wife and her sick sister that he cares about so much are good enough reasons in his book,” Liam starts, his words sarcastic. “In fact, he had the entire first floor renovated, the guest-bedrooms were magically transformed into a state-of-the-fucking-art clinic for them.”
“He’s doing what?”
Yup. I
’ve got a migraine now.
“He seriously didn’t tell you?” Liam questions, laying his head back on the pillows. He looks tired now.
“Well, after I signed those damn papers, we haven’t talked about anything.” She waves her manicured hands around.
“Yeah, not even your own son’s funeral,” I mutter, wanting to get the hell out of here, find Mia and make her take my anger. What was she doing in here with Liam anyway?
“God, I hate that man,” she groans.
“So, wait, how did you find out?” I stare at her, frowning. “About Liam?”
“Really? That’s what your concerned with? The grape vine?” she deadpans. “You two make headlines all the time, you think I wouldn’t hear about something as serious as this?”
Yeah, and I’m a fucking celibate saint who doesn’t want to screw Mia Montague seven ways to Sunday mass. There’s no way she found this out from the ‘grape vine.’
“Mom, who told you?” I question, dropping into the chair beside the window.
“Why, your girlfriend of course.”
I don’t know why my mind races to Mia’s face when she says that dreaded word. Liam starts laughing and I snap out of it.
“You have a girlfriend now, J?” Liam mocks, then starts laughing but it’s pathetic now. The dumbass is in pain.
“I don’t have a fucking girlfriend,” I grit out. “Who told you that?”
“Well, that stupid girl that used to always sniff around you. You know, the one with crooked teeth and flaky hair?”
A girl sniffing around me?
“Casey?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.” Mom sighs.
“Holy shit, J!” Liam starts laughing. “You got your fuck buddies calling Mom?”
“Liam.” I warn and he makes a show of sealing his lips shut.
“She’s nothing to me.”
“Sure,” Mom says, watching me. “I have no idea where she got my number from, but she called to tell me about all this. And a word of advice, son, that girl will sink you in a heartbeat.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“I’m not talking about that airhead, Casey,” she says just as the doctor comes in and she rushes to him, demanding to know Liam’s medical issues.
I look at my brother for a moment, noticing how his eyes are fluttering closed to sleep. Nah man.
“Liam.” I bark and his eyes fly open.
“The fuck, man?” he groans tiredly.
“What were you doing with her?”
I don’t need to explain who I’m talking about, by the smirk on his face, he already knows.
“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Liam starts. “Mom was right. Mia’s my latest conquest.”
“What?”
“She’s my new girlfriend.”
22
Days have passed since Julian made me come for the first time in my life, in a freaking supply. Each time I think of how I came all over his hand, I feel like dying from embarrassment, so I’ve been avoiding him like the damn plague.
The good thing is, I successfully managed to hide from everyone.
After that afternoon from hell, I felt like my life’s suspended in a slow passage of time and I needed to gather my thoughts alone or run the risk of losing myself.
Julian was right, I was losing everything and everyone and that left me feeling more than a little lost. I couldn’t pin down a single thought, let alone keep up with everything else going on around me.
So, I hid from my aunt who’s been looking for me everywhere.
I hid from Julian’s mom who I heard shouting and cursing at her ex-husband in the house about how he was a sorry excuse of a man, bringing strays into her house.
And that was when Nicky the hair snatcher stepped in. It was a shouting match that I didn’t want to witness. Hell, I didn’t even have the guts to see my mother while she was awake. I stayed away, every word Julian said about me ricocheting in the recesses of my mind.
I can’t bring myself to face her afraid that she’ll see how much my life is spiraling out of control. And that maybe, I caused all of this. I’ve been kissing by my enemy all the while feeling like there’s more in the shadows about to come out to finish me off.
I can’t help but feel like the worst is yet to come. It’s making me sick to my stomach with worry.
Every night since moving into the Fitzgerald mansion, I’ve sneaked into our old house like a little thief. It’s mostly bare now, empty and cold covered in dust with one or two old items still laying there abandoned, out of place and sad.
It’s crazy how fast a void can creep into a place you once called home, but that feeling of comfort never really goes away.
I haven’t heard from Dad in days. I haven’t talked to my mother in that many days. My head’s been spinning with so many horror stories that I can’t talk about or voice because it’ll only make it all real. So, during the day, I fake it with the best of them at school. Laughing out loud, being the freaking best dressed, prettiest hero of Clintwood A., when in the back of my mind, I know I’m the central plot of an attempted murder.
Yeah, everyone loves me, worships the ground I walk on, blah, blah, blah… but I know better. Shane Matthews watches me because he knows I’m onto him. As for Kristine, she’s been throwing snide remarks at me more, and I shut her down with as much enthusiasm.
Then, at night, I sneak into a house that’s been repossessed, then silently trudge to the studio and dance my soul out with music playing through my AirPods.
It’s there that I allow myself to feel the pain, but never let it overwhelm me.
I allow myself to fail but I never accept it, getting back up to dance.
Then I’d go visit Liam as often as I could. Usually after school, I’d sneak into his hospital room and spend my afternoons forgetting about the outside world.
The surprising thing about my growing relationship with Liam is that I enjoyed his company. He made me laugh. He made me forget. He was just so authentic, and we have so much in common. It’s been easy to grow fond of him.
I’d update him about how shady Shane is and he’d tell me that Julian’s working on something but keeping secrets from him too.
It made me think of the conversation I overheard between him and Cole. Julian is keeping something from his brother, but for some reason, I think that secret is there to protect him.
Liam was so much like his brother, but in a way, uniquely himself. I can’t really call him a friend yet, I mean, he’s still a Fitzgerald whether I saved his life or not. I’d sooner eat disgusting In-N-Out burgers before I trust him.
After that I’d slip into the Fitzgerald mansion, feeling like an imposter being watched. I don’t know if there are people watching the house now or if it’s my own paranoia, but I never feel alone there.
But right now, I have several eyeballs watching me, ready for me to break a leg—literally.
Sucking in a deep breath, I keep my pose, making sure my spine is straight, head back and chest out. My body is at ease as I spin on pointe, the rotations in time with the classical notes crooning from the stereo in the large studio.
But before I can reach the twenty-fifth spin, I misstep, tumbling down to the wooden floor, breaking me out of the routine for the second time today.
I don’t dare look up or allow the pain to show on my face, knowing that it’s coming in three…two…
“What was that?” my ballet teacher, Ms. Veronica or rather, Ms. Voldemort yells at me.
And there it is.
“I’m sorry. I think I’m just…”
“Just what, Mia?”
I don’t even know…
See, so much is riding on this, but my mind just isn’t in the game today. Not after mopping up my mother’s vomit and seeing Julian’s sweaty body in the kitchen right before coming here for practice.
He stared at me when I came down to fill my bottle with ice chips, but he didn’t say a word.
Good.
“Here yo
u go again, giving excuses,” Ms. V. huffs. “Can you do it, yes or no? I have other girls that can replace you just like that.”
The snap of her fingers is the go ahead the girls in my ballet class need to start snickering at me, whispering among themselves.
Shooting them my best fuck you smile, they shut up. All of them know better than to be on my shit list.
I’m the bitch that makes or breaks them, and they know it. But that doesn’t matter because if I don’t get this routine right, I won’t land the most coveted ballet gig to perform on the stage of the Paris Opera Ballet company.
“I lost my footing is all,” I mumble, keeping my voice as polite as ever, as I look at my ballet teacher.
“You can do better than, I don’t know, lose your footing!” she spits, the look on her face as dark & thunderous as the dark clothes she always wears to match her dark soul. “Get up and do it again, for God’s sake! We don’t have time to kiss your ass.”
I don’t take offense to that. Pushing past the pain, I get up, ignoring the intense scrutiny and judgement in the room. I suck in a deep breath, tightening my stomach. My toes are killing me as I get into position once again, daring to look up into the large mirror in front of me, knowing that I’ll find a steely pair of eyes staring back at me.
“What are you waiting for?” the harsh voice barks once again, and I almost tremble. Almost. But I stay put. I won’t mess this up by showing that I’m scared shitless.
“I was just—”
“Stop making excuses and execute the routine. We’ve been working on this for months now.”
I close my eyes, seeing each step in my head since I’ve only practiced it like all my life. Getting on one pointed foot, I balance all my weight there, then delicately raise my arms. Tilting my head back as gracefully as I can, I start spinning, knowing that I have to hit at least thirty-two of these spins.
“Stay graceful. Your body has to be agile. If you dare shift out of line the whole thing will be rubbish! Utter rubbish!”
I try to drown out Ms. Voldemort’s voice but it’s so damn loud. I swear when I’m asleep I can still hear her voice demanding, barking out instruction, correcting everything I do. She’s more critical of me than of other girls. For obvious reasons.
Devious Kisses: A Bully Enemies -To-Lovers Romance (It's Just High School Book 1) Page 28