by Tara Brown
My heart skipped a beat.
Somehow, my mom must have heard it and gave me a knowing look. “You can’t fight what you feel. It will never go away.”
“I’m okay with that. I don’t need it to go away; I just need it to not hurt so much.”
“Good luck with that.”
I rocked and took a deep breath. “We’re safe here, aren’t we?”
“Safe as we’ll ever be.”
“Why don’t you go and join Dad?”
Her smile became forced. “You’re a mother, Evie. You know what you would do for your children. He made his decision and I made mine.” She had chosen us over him, whereas he had chosen the world over her. I hated that. She gave me a look. “Servario and your father are much alike. Everything is about the cause.”
I swallowed my opinions. She didn’t need to know Servario might not be as much like Dad as she imagined.
“When will this be over, Mom?”
She sipped her tea. “When the whole thing has been destroyed.”
“That sounds like treason.”
She nodded but didn’t say anything else. She didn’t have to. I felt the same as she did. I would rather destroy the whole thing than live the way we were, always looking over our shoulders.
Jack came out onto the deck with Luce directly behind him. She gave me a grin. “We’re headed for Dubai in three days.”
I grimaced. “Why?”
Jack gave me a look. It was the one from the helicopter. I gazed downward. “Are any of these people on the list, or are we just ridding the world of evil.”
Jack smiled at that. “No, this is ‘a two birds with one stone’ sort of thing. Karl was on the list and MI6 wanted him gone.”
Coop came out and sat on the huge bench next to Jack.
My mom smiled and pulled her phone out. She made a call. “We’re ready.”
She hung up and the four of us gave her the same face. A car drove up moments later and parked at the back of the house. It was a fully tinted red sports car of sorts. I couldn’t see who the driver was, but the car screamed Servario. The door opened and he stepped out. He pulled his sunglasses off and walked up to the back of the house. He climbed the steps and sat in the only empty chair.
“Nice house,” I said dryly.
She laughed. “Servario and I have something to talk to you about."
Servario’s eyes never left mine. “I’ve been withholding information from you.”
“What!” I mocked a gasp. “Not you. Not you and my mother together, no way.”
He sighed. “The list of names we got from Roxy, who we all know got it from James, was never just people searching for the Burrow. It is a list of people who are part of something much worse.”
Where Luce and Jack’s faces held the same apprehension and confusion as mine, Coop was stoic. He knew what they were about to say. He didn’t turn his gaze to meet mine when I looked at him.
My mother smiled. “When I was first brought into this, I was asked to track down a group of people who had banded together after the Second World War. We called them the Organization.”
Jack cocked an eyebrow.
My mom rolled her eyes. “It’s not as cheesy as it sounds. The richest of the rich belong to it, as well as many of our presidents and other leaders. They work the markets of countries to get richer, ruin countries for sport, and dabble in anything that maintains their control. They truly are the very worst people in the world. The people on that list belong to the Organization.”
I gave Servario a blank look. “You belong to it?”
He nodded slowly.
“Double agent?”
He shook his head.
I scowled. “I don’t understand.”
Jack’s eyes darted to my mom. “Fitz?”
She nodded.
Servario tapped his fingers against the chair. “I am for many of the things they do, but not the arms race for the Burrow.”
“You agree on the organized crime part though?”
“I do.”
“Great.” I turned to Coop. “And you knew all along about the Organization, and that was what the mole in CI belongs to? Whoever the mole is, they are part of this Organization?”
Coop sighed. “Yup.”
“Does the commander know?”
He blinked. “CI has members who are part of it. The CIA too. The Burrow is like a single island all on its own and everyone is trying to find it. The arms race is actually controlled by one group of people. The Americans, the British, the Russians, the Germans, the Koreans, the Chinese, even some of the Japanese—everyone is part of it. Every government in the world has members. They want the Burrow in order to take control of the world.”
Jack cocked his eyebrow again. “This sounds like New World Order. Like a conspiracy theory.”
Servario’s eyes widened, confirming Jack’s statement. I stared at him with disgust. “You agree with one governing power for the world?”
He groaned, “You never listen. I disagree with that one point. I don’t think the Organization should have the Burrow and take the power from everyone. I disagree with the New World Order.”
My mom offered, “As does Fitz. He has never believed anyone should have it.”
Luce took a deep breath. “Whoa.”
Coop shrugged. “This is why we have to find a way to destroy the Burrow. We’ll get rid of the list and then the Burrow, and it ends with them.”
“Yes,” Servario agreed. “That is the best plan.”
My mom added, “That’s what we’ll be working toward. We’ll be alone on this one. No more CI, except whatever missions the commander sends you on. And you will do those to make it appear as if you’re part of the team. The rest of the time we’ll work for one goal, death of the Burrow.”
I swallowed hard. “We swore to protect the Burrow and the scientists.”
“I know.” Servario glanced at me. “That’s the thing that will keep you alive. While you are killing off the list, the Burrow will believe you to be on their team. I will be working with Fitz to devise a plan to get the Burrow and keep our eyes and ears in the organization. We'll feed them as much misinformation as we can. We’ll have kept our fingers in many pots and not have to worry about anyone double-crossing us.”
“Wow, this sounds like a really bad plan. I don’t see how my kids will be safe at all, and what about the poor scientists? It’s not fair they’ll be killed ‘cause they’re smart. Won’t Dad be in danger too?”
Coop took my hands in his. “We take it one day at a time. You can’t plan every second of the next year or two that we need to finish this and take back our lives.”
“Whatever.” I stood and walked inside to sit on the couch and block it all out.
“Mom, I have hockey in fifteen minutes. Can you drive Matt too? His mom is on the phone.”
“What?” I checked over my shoulder at the clock. “Of course.” I got up and loaded the gear into the truck.
When Mitch got in he gave me a smile. “I like it here.”
“Yeah.” I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Me too.”
He pushed me off. “Mom, jeesh. No kisses. Someone could’ve seen.” Coop stood in front of the truck.
He nodded at me. “I’m driving.”
“Fine.” I shoved over so he could drive and he climbed in. “You score tonight and I’ll let you play my new Assassin’s Creed.”
“Nope. No way. Pulling mom veto. No violent games.”
Mitch moaned, “Mommm! Come on. All the guys play it.”
“Yeah,” Coop agreed. “It’s true. I asked the other dads at the game—they all play it. I double checked.”
“See!” Mitch put his hands up. “Two goals. I’ll get two goals and you let me play?”
“No.” I smirked. “Five goals and I let you play.”
His jaw dropped, but he thought for a second. “Done.” He put a hand out. I shook it.
“You’ll never get five goals.” I turned
back over to Coop. “This is exactly the sort of hockey-parent behavior they try to discourage.”
He scoffed. “Whatever. It’s a competitive sport. The kids need to be motivated.”
“No,” I said. “You are both bad.”
An hour and a half later, I was screaming my face off as he scored his sixth goal. He pointed up at me in the crowd as his team screamed and lifted him off the ice.
“Wow.” I sat down, flustered and excited. “I can’t believe he got six goals.”
Coop laughed. “Oh, ye of little faith. I totally knew he would.”
Jack passed me a coffee as he and Luce climbed back up the stairs. I sipped it and made a face. He rolled his eyes. “You’ll get used to it.”
I smiled at them. In the corner of my eye, I saw Servario sipping coffee and watching the game from below. I looked away from him, muttering, “I wish this were our real life.”
“One day at a time. Today, this is our life.”
"I guess." I sighed and gazed out onto the ice as my boy had the game of the year. I was excited that even though I’d learned of the uphill battle we faced, this was my life at the moment.
I couldn’t help but glance to where Servario had been seated. He was gone. He had wanted me to see him so I’d know he was there. He was always there.
I hoped he always would be and told myself it was because I wanted him to keep me safe. I watched Coop and smiled at the way he beamed proudly as he cheered for my kid. My kid he made feel safe.
My mom’s words trickled through my head, but I pushed them away and let it just be about that day. One day at a time we would succeed and get our lives back. One day at a time we would win. And one day we would look back and know we’d made the right choice for all the people who had no clue how crazy the world had become.
Did I have all the answers? No. I still wanted to know what was on the phone Servario sold me out for. I still wanted to know what butterflies and nightingales had in common. Or what my mother had over Servario that made him come and save me. Mostly, I wanted to know what was more important than me to Servario, considering I felt pretty important to him. Through it all, I got the sense I mattered.
I pushed those thoughts away and let it be about Mitch 'cause in the end it really was about the kids.
The End
Volume Three
The End of Tomorrow
Prologue
Where am I?
I woke, confused to see a strange room in a hotel.
“Hey.” Luce smiled from the chair in the corner.
“Where are we?” I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “What happened? Where are we?” I asked again, realizing my throat felt funny, and I couldn't seem to shake the fog in my head.
“Europe,” she answered like I should know where we were. “You don't remember coming here? We arrived two days ago.”
“No. I don't remember anything.” It was true, I didn't recall the trip. The last thing I remembered, we were talking about Europe; Coop and I had fought about coming. But everything else was muddled, consisting mostly of flashes, images I couldn't place.
“What do you remember?”
“I was in—” I paused and thought back to the last thing I recalled: the jet with Servario and something about a red dress.
Or was it?
Was I wearing a red dress in the memory?
Everything was a haze.
“Why are we here? Did we do a job?” I lifted my head, swallowing hard. “Did Servario abandon me again?”
“Sort of.” She sighed. “And he said he took your memories with some drug. He said it was better for you. I didn't think it would work. He asked me to sit here until you woke.” She was cavalier. Consistent for Luce. It could’ve been her middle name.
Her words filtered in slowly and did laps around my mind until they landed, firmly. “Wait, he said what? Why did he take my memories? Or better yet, how? What’s better about this? I feel sick. Jesus, what did I do?” My heart raced as I struggled to reach the memories that were gone and wondered what in the hell he had talked me into that I needed to forget. “Oh God, did he—” I flexed my butt to make sure he hadn’t conned me into that. Thankfully, it felt normal.
“Did he what?”
“Nothing.” I gave Luce a look, unsure of how I could possibly explain my avoidance of ass sex without the long conversation about giving birth. “Where’s Coop?” If I was safe with anyone, it was him. He never would have erased my memories, and he’d never asked to play the back nine.
“We’re in Belgium.” She paled a little, gazing downward. “Coop’s dealing with the brothel you raided in Dubai. Same human traffickers we’ve been chasing all along.” She said it weirdly, as if she was embarrassed to tell me.
“What brothel?” It hit me then that it wasn't so much what I'd done but rather what I'd seen. Clearly, I'd seen something Servario didn't want me to. “Was it bad? Did he whore me out?”
“Much worse than that, Evie.” Her eyes were haunted.
“He took my memories on purpose? Because he made me do things?” Rage began to build inside me, replacing the pity I’d felt a second ago. “Oh my God. I always sort of assumed he’d keep me relatively safe. Oh my God.” I had fooled myself when it came to him on a lot of things. This one left me blood lusting but too weak to fulfill my desires.
“No, wait.” She shook her head. “No. He didn't make you do anything. You killed and went savage and saved some teenagers. I think he wanted you to forget the way you kill—it’s just better. Trust me.”
“Oh.” I frowned at Luce and sighed in relief. “You sure?” I squeezed my thighs, noting the sex I had definitely had.
“Yeah. He said you shouldn't remember how you kill, it’s not cool.”
“Huh?” I leaned back again, confused but oddly grateful I had no idea what she was talking about. I had killed in a way he knew I wouldn’t want to remember? That was a bad sign but I was oddly relieved. Shit was wrong with me. “How bad?”
“Bad.” Her pale face emphasized the word “bad.”
“Like on a scale of one to ten—one being Betty White murdering people and ten being a woman who just gave birth while killing with a machete—how savage?”
She paused, pursing her lips. “What’s Betty White killing with?”
“A gun, just a regular death.”
“You were full machete, covered in the blood of childbirth.” She lifted her hands like we were putting this to bed. “Worst ever.”
“Yikes.” There were things I didn't need to remember, I could admit that. But I had a bad feeling some of the things I did need were gone with the rubble. “Can you give me the Cliff Notes version of what you know, maybe clean up the savage killing a little?”
“Yeah.” Luce began the story with the jet ride I had a slight recollection of.
The story took turns I didn't expect, but in the end I decided the headache and confusion were worth not knowing what in the hell had happened. I hated human trafficking more than any single thing in the world. And when my job involved children and human trafficking, I wasn't sane. I was something else. We all knew it.
There was no way I wanted to sit and think about it all. I was tired in a way I didn't understand, but all I could do was hope Servario had protected me and chosen to wipe my memory because of horrors I had seen and not horrors I had experienced. I had to trust him. It was an icky feeling.
“What do we do now?” I couldn't find anything in my head. I didn't even entirely remember why we had come to Europe.
“We go home to Canada and let Coop and Jack clean this mess up.”
“Okay,” I conceded, wishing I could have more than just the slightest of hints as to what all the job was. It felt too much like a Servario game to me.
1
Home again
The waiting room seemed to be closing in on me, but I remained perfectly still. Canadian medical was by far superior to ours, but their wait times were insane. I hadn’t been able to get in to see our fa
mily doctor when we returned from Europe, so the health unit had become my only option.
Luce gave me a side-glance from her magazine. “Stop fidgeting. You look like a junkie.”
“Suck it, Luce. You didn't possibly entertain all the gentlemen at the finger-in-the-ass club.” I motioned both hands like I was double-fisting cocks. She wrinkled her nose, making me realize I was talking with my hands again. I lowered them, awkwardly, having never actually done the double-fisting gesture before. The horror on her face matched the feelings inside me. “I don't like not knowing what happened to my vagina.”
“I’m sure it didn't involve making porn.”
“You don't know.”
“We both know you are fine. Would you stop.” She rolled her eyes.
“No!” I spoke sharply. “Servario isn’t all about safety. He’s all about instant gratification. I could kill him for this. I might have done things, Luce, things I don’t normally do. He has a way of convincing—” I paused and shuddered. “Anyway, I know I woke up feeling like maybe I’d had sex. Servario sex.” A dozen showers and the reassuring look my mom gave me hadn’t helped. I couldn’t feel clean. It was like there were fingerprints or bugs all over me. I was going to kill him, slowly.
“Oh my God.” Luce lifted her hand in a show of defeat. “Fine, be insane. When the nurse tells you you’re fine I’m going to tell you I told you so. FYI!”
Having Luce join me for my STD testing hadn’t turned out to be as comforting as I’d imagined. In my head it had been her holding my hand and us laughing nervously and her reassuring me. Not rolling her eyes and flipping the magazine pages like she was annoyed. Granted, I was being a baby but there was something she didn't understand: I had never been nervous getting these done before. I had always known who my partners were. They consisted of one person: James, a man I believed to be monogamous. Now I had to worry about him and Servario and Coop, and all the people they had slept with. It was vexing to say the least.
“Didn't you have to get this done when you had kids?”