I nodded, motioning for her to wait while I got out of the bathroom, past the line of complaining girls still waiting in line, and to the DJ booth where a girl Mom had hired was spinning something electronic. I grabbed the mic and the sound screeched, making people cover up their ears.
"Ahem, sorry about that. This party is now over."
"What?" Someone called out. "It's too early!"
"That's not your call. Now everyone out."
For a moment, I was sure absolute chaos would ensue, but what happened was even worse than if people started breaking shit. I got boo'd.
My cheeks burned from the crowd's disapproval, and I shoved the mic back in the DJ's hand before rushing them all out of the house. It took several minutes until I found Crispin again, and he furrowed his brows at me.
"What the hell are you doing, crybaby?"
"Taking care of my best friend," I told him as I showed the last bunch of kids to the door. "She needs me right now, Crispin."
"But..." He ran his fingers through his hair. "What about us?"
"Tomorrow," I promised. "But today, all that matters is my friend."
He gave me a nod, and I turned away before he could make a move. I couldn't focus. My mind was on Stells, wondering if we could ever salvage our friendship. If I’d even wanted that.
Once the house was empty, I went back to the bathroom and nearly fainted when I saw her passed out. But when I shook her shoulder, she stirred from her sleep, groaning. I helped her to her feet and then to my room. I got onto the bed where we hadn't had a single sleepover yet, and stayed up all night to make sure she was okay, that she was still breathing. Estella fell asleep almost immediately.
I must've dozed off sometime in the morning, too, because when I woke up, the bed was rumpled and empty.
The only thing she'd left behind was the friendship bracelet we'd made for one another. The tattered bracelet lay on the pillow, telling me one thing was for sure...
My friendship with Estella was over.
Chapter Sixteen
Crispin
I needed to tell Tinsley about the move, but every time I tried, my fear got the best of me. My mouth stayed shut, and my thoughts remained unspoken. I was addicted to our secrets, obsessed with every minute I got to spend in her company. The fear of losing her was intense. It was also a constant reminder of how miserable I'd been without her and how deliriously happy I was when she was around.
"Where are you going?" Mom locked eyes with me as I made my way through the hallway. "Out again?"
"Yeah, I have lacrosse practice."
"And after that?" she furrowed her brows, putting her hands on her hips. "Your sister misses you, you know. You've barely been around lately, and I need your help with her."
"I'm sorry," I muttered, feeling like I'd let her down. I hated when she laid a guilt trip on me. I loved India, and I didn't treat our relationship like an obligation, but Mom often tried to make me feel like India was my responsibility. Like somehow I owed it to my mom to take care of my little sister. "I'll be home all day with her on Saturday."
"That's not enough," Mom shook her head. "You need to help me out more, Crispin. I can't do this alone."
"I know." Guilt washed over me, and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "I just want to spend some time with my friends since we're leaving soon. I don't know when I'm going to see them again."
"They're not a priority." Mom narrowed her eyes at me. "Your family should be your priority, not the people you're not even going to remember in a couple of years."
I couldn't imagine a time when I wouldn't remember Tinsley. The cute way her nose turned up. The little freckle on her forehead. No, I would carry her in my heart forever, no matter what Mom said.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I'll be here on Saturday, and besides, India has that sleepover tonight, doesn't she?"
Mom glared at me, asking, "Are you spending time with that horrible Sullivan girl?"
My stomach tied into knots as I stared back.
"Every minute you spend with that girl is a stab in the back for your family," Mom informed me. "Every second in her company is a betrayal."
"Mom, don't you think you're exaggerating a little?"
"Exaggerating?" she huffed. "That girl's mother ruined our family. She's the reason your father and I aren't together anymore."
"That's a bit harsh, Mom. Tinsley didn't do anything wrong."
"No?" Mom was raising her voice now, obviously upset. "If it weren't for her, your dad would never have met that hussy."
"She's not a hussy."
"What is she then, Crispin? Tell me what the fuck she is!" Her eyes were wide, and I could tell she saw red at the mere mention of the Sullivans.
How could I have ever thought she'd get over this? How could I imagine a world in which my mom didn't hate Tinsley? It was becoming painfully clear that would never happen.
"She's just a woman who made a mistake." I tried to reason with her, reaching out for her hand, but she snatched it away from me. "Mom, you and Dad were getting a divorce when this all came out."
"That doesn't give him the right to- to-" She struggled for words, letting out a frustrated sigh when she couldn't find them. "He's a horrible person, and so is that awful woman and her daughter, too. Don't try to convince me otherwise."
"I won't," I muttered, taking a step back. "I can tell it would be a waste of time. I'm going now."
"You're a traitor!" Mom yelled after me. "You should be ashamed, Crispin!"
Her words echoed in my mind as I left the house and got into my car.
Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.
"Crispin! Hi!" Diana Sullivan stood on the doorstep, beaming at me. "Come in, come in, don't stand there in the cold."
I followed her into the house, managing a weak smile. It had been a few hours since my argument with Mom, but I still hadn't gotten over it. I’d spent the entire lacrosse practice worrying over all the things she'd said. She wanted me to stay away from Tinsley, but the more she warned me to back off, the more I wanted my pretty girl. And we had another tutoring lesson scheduled for that afternoon, which I was immensely grateful for. Tins was the only one who managed to calm me down and make me feel good about myself.
"Crispin?" She came running down the stairs as her mom closed the front door behind me.
I drank up her figure, dressed in ripped jeans and a tight, ribbed black sweater. "Hey."
"Hey." She glanced at her mom, but the little smile on her lips hadn't escaped me. She was happy to see me. "Let's grab some drinks and snacks."
She led me into the kitchen, and her mom followed us as we grabbed some Diet Cokes from the fridge.
"Crispin, how is everything?" Diana asked me, her eyes warm and kind. "How are things at home? Are you doing all right?"
"I guess." I shrugged, feeling as if the weight of the world lay on my shoulders.
I couldn’t tell her I was moving away. Tinsley couldn’t find out yet. She was going to freak out. "Mom is making some changes."
"How is India?" Tins asked.
"She's really good. Loving school. It's going to be hard for her when—" I caught myself before I could admit what was happening, taking a long gulp out of the Coke can. "Yeah, she's having a nice time in first grade. Made lots of friends."
"And your..." Tinsley's words drifted off, and she gave me an apologetic look before glancing at her mom.
"Don't worry, I'll give you some privacy." Diana squeezed her hand and winked at me. "But Crispin, if you ever need someone to talk to, I want you to know I'm always, always available."
"Thanks, Mrs. S."
We grabbed our drinks, and I followed Tins onto the first floor. Right away, I was flooded with memories from her birthday party, the feel of her body under my fingertips, the way she'd kissed me as if she'd been waiting her whole life to feel my lips on hers.
The moment the door of her bedroom closed behind us, I pressed her against it. Her heartbeat hammered against my chest when my body caged hers b
eneath it.
"Did you miss me?" I whispered against her lips, mere inches away from kissing that pretty mouth. "Did you think about me?"
"Always," she whispered in response, glancing away from me but looking back a second later. "I can't stop. I wish I could."
"Don't." I took her hands in mine, intertwining our fingers and just staying close to her, watching her, feeling her respond to me. "I don't want you to keep fighting it."
"But people might find out."
"I don’t care,” I grunted. "It’s not wrong when it feels like this. And you know it."
"Let's start working on the exercises," she managed to get out. "I need to focus and ace the next test, or I'm going to be in big trouble."
I reluctantly let her go "All right.". How the fuck was I going to move away when just taking my fingers off her felt this fucking awful?
We sat down at her desk where she'd fanned out some open textbooks and notes. I took the seat to her right, closely watching her profile as she joined me.
"What are you staring at?" she asked, the corners of her lips tugging upward. "See something you like?"
"Definitely."
The smile took over. She was so painfully pretty, it hurt to look at her.
For the next hour or so, I did my best to help her with the curriculum, going through the basics and even some advanced lessons our teacher had been applying. It was only our second tutoring session, but Tins had already managed to surprise me with her eagerness to learn. I expected her to be reluctant. She’d surprised me with her excitement and eagerness to learn, even when it came to something like high school chemistry.
"Is that right?” She pushed a sheet of paper toward me with her answer on it, and I uncovered my own.
"Looks like it, I got the same one. Great job, crybaby."
She gave me a shy smile, and my stomach twisted. We were running out of time. I was going to have to tell her eventually.
"Can we get to the fun stuff now?" I asked, motioning for her to come closer. "I've been thinking about those lips for days, Tins..."
"What about them?"
"The way they part," I said gently. "The way you bite the bottom one."
She played coy. "What else?"
"What they taste like."
She licked her mouth, and a shiver ran down my spine.
"Just like that, Tins. Come here. I need you closer."
She got up, and I pulled her against me, sitting her butt down on my lap. She was shaking like a leaf.
"Are you afraid of me?"
She shook her head. "Not afraid. Let's just say I try to be careful when it comes to you."
"How so?"
"Because you're dangerous." She raised her hand, her pointer finger coming to rest on my lips. "Your mouth is dangerous."
I opened it, sucking her finger in and biting gently. "You like it."
"I do," she sighed. "That's the problem."
I kept toying with her, loving the way she couldn't keep her eyes on mine without blushing deeply. She was so innocent, so pure. And I wanted to be the one who got to keep that innocence in my pocket, the one who took it away from her.
"Did you think about me after the party?" I whispered, and she nodded, eyes wide and trusting.
"I couldn't stop."
"I like that."
"You shouldn't," she sighed. "I'm being a terrible, terrible friend."
"You?" I scoffed. "Need I remind you Estella ruined your party?"
"She didn't mean to." Tins furrowed her brows, eager to defend her friend. "She really didn't, Crispin. It was really just a misunderstanding."
"Somehow, I doubt that," I muttered. "Tins, she doesn't have your best interest at heart."
"Why wouldn't she?" She pouted. "We're friends. She cares about me."
I fucking wished that were true. She didn’t know how selfish Estella was. "Don't worry about it now, crybaby. You have me."
"I don't really." Tinsley twirled a strand of her lilac hair. Something sat on the edge of her tongue, waiting to be set free.
"What do you mean?"
She twisted and turned, fidgeting until I got up. I put a little space between us when I walked over to her bed, trying to figure out the beauty before me.
"What are you doing?" Tinsley seemed to struggle the way I did when the two of us touched and then separated.
"Just trying to understand," I muttered, taking a picture frame off her nightstand. In the picture, she was embracing Estella, both grinning for the camera. It seemed like two different people staring back from that photo. Who they were before things got complicated. "You love her, don't you?"
"I do."
"You don't have another friend?" That part baffled me; she was smart and fun and talented, and lacking in the friend department.
"I do," she said, giving me a nervous look. "But I don't get to see her as often, she's tied up with something else." Tinsley hadn’t ever mentioned anyone I didn’t know, but I didn’t push for information on her.
"What about Andromeda?" It hurt to say that name. To remember what had happened to the girl's sister. To know I was partly to blame for it.
Tinsley beamed at the mere mention of her quirky friend. "She's great. I really like her."
"So?"
She shrugged, and her tiny shoulders suddenly appeared frail. "So, I just don't want Estella to think I'm replacing her."
"And she hasn't replaced you?" I asked.
"With?"
"Inca." I shrugged. "That Harlem girl." Anyone who gave her the attention she craved.
She glared at me, obviously upset about what I'd suggested. "I don't think she'd do that."
"Crybaby, Estella only cares about herself. You don't matter to her unless you can give her what she wants. Trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand."
The way her brow furrowed almost made me chuckle. There was a cute little line that formed on her forehead when she got indignant, and I loved it. "How can you say that?" A puff blew past her lips in the slightest of irritated sighs. "It's like you don't even know her."
No, it was like Tinsley didn’t even know her. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you. I just want to look out for you."
"Well, let's stop talking about it," she muttered. Her feelings were hurt, but that hadn’t been my intention. "I don't want to gossip about my best friend."
I nodded, agreeing to let go of the topic for now, even though I didn't agree with her in the slightest. Estella was a user, and it didn't matter to her whom she fucked over or how she did it. Be it me, her best friend, or Natan Earnshaw—she didn't give a shit about those relationships. She had her own goals, and every connection she had ever made was established in order for her to could reach those goals.
"Come here," I told Tins, patting the bed. "I want you close to me."
Instantly, her expression changed from worry and guilt to a deliriously happy. She was such a goddamn sucker for me, and I just let it happen, even knowing that I was going to end up breaking her heart at the end of it all. But not if I could help it.
She sat down next to me and giggled when I lay back, pulling her on top of me. Her body wriggled against, and I intertwined our fingers again, making her sit on my lap as I lay back. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes wild as she looked down at me.
I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "God, you’re pretty."
"I'm not."
"Tins." I dropped her hand and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. "I can't get enough of you. Don’t you see that?"
She could barely stop the grin that tugged on the corners of her lips. “Sometimes.”
"It’s true." I nuzzled her neck, inhaling her scent and letting my mind run wild; she was an addiction that I wasn't looking to kick anytime soon. "I can't take my mind off you. Let me kiss you. I want to taste your lips."
"O-Okay." She lowered her head, her lilac hair creating a curtain around us and giving us some privacy. She was an intense craving., and I needed a taste. Her scent
filled my head with things I really shouldn't think about, because if I did... "Oh."
I knew she'd felt it. My cock was hard beneath her, pressing against her center with desperation. "I'm sorry," I muttered.
"Don't be." A devilish smirk took over her features, and she rocked her hips on my lap, just a little bit to test the waters. "You like that?"
"Yeah," I groaned. "Keep going.” I fought to keep my voice steady and even. “I want you on top of me. It feels so good when you grind like that, Tins." I grabbed her by the waist and held her firmly on my now rock hard cock as she rolled herself against me. "Don't you ever leave me, Tinsley Sullivan."
"Not a chance." Her whispered breath feathered my ear and then my neck until she made her way to my lips where she rained kisses on my mouth. "No chance you're ever getting rid of me now."
I remembered what I'd come over to tell her. That I was about to betray her one last time and break her heart again. She must've felt me tense, and she pulled back. Her intoxicating scent left with her as she leaned back and pressed her palm against my chest.
"Who does your heart beat for?" she whispered.
"You." There was no point in lying and no other answer I could give her. "Always you."
"So, tell me." Her bottom lip trembled, jutting out. "I can tell there's something on your mind."
"It's going to hurt you." That was a truth I hated to admit because I didn’t want to hurt her, and I couldn’t control this.
Tinsley bit her bottom lip and nodded slightly. "Of course. When have you ever not hurt me, Crispin Dalton?"
I groaned, knowing that I owed her the truth even if it meant shattering her heart into pieces. "My mom," I muttered, trying not to avoid her gaze or her eyes that already brimmed with tears. It crushed me to know she thought this was bad, and even more so to know she was right. "She's—we’re moving. My little sister and me. I think she's trying to get us away from my dad."
"What?" Her voice shook. "But that's ridiculous. You can't let her do that, Crispin. You can’t just leave."
"I don't really have a choice," I said. "There are two colleges that offered me a lacrosse scholarship, and one is in the city Mom's relocating."
Boys That Tease: A Bully Romance (Lords Of Wildwood Book 1) Page 19