some sort of pride, saying the ‘culprit’ did ‘what needed to be
done.’ Normally, I would ask you to explain, but I think I already
know…”
Though Cam’s hands tightened around her own cup of
tea, the rest of her body went utterly still. Her heart rate lifted
until it was blaring in her own ears. She had meant to tell him…
Her face warmed. The shame was an ache blooming in her chest. “My question is,” Cole continued softly as he peered at
his daughter’s face. “Is whether you’re still hurting enough to
succumb to it, or if the destruction you and Peter caused has
made it better.”
Cam’s eyes were squeezed shut, her hands clenching
around the cup of tea, clenched so tightly she wouldn’t have at
all been surprised if the thing shattered in her grip. She drew in
a single, shaky breath before opening her eyes. Her skin tingled
just thinking about it. Warm liquid sliding down her throat,
numbing her body and mind, sending her into oblivion only to
jerk her out with convulsing and aching. “It has made it better. I
promise,” was all she said, all she could say.
Cole smiled. “Good. Then I won’t ask anything else. Nor
will I reprimand you. But…” his tone dropped, soft and gentle as
he reached a warm hand over the expanse between them and laid
it on Cam’s arm. “But if you should need to confide in someone
about it, you know that I am here and that I want you safe and at
peace.”
Cam’s eyes were burning with tears as she slid her hand
into her father’s. “I don’t deserve you.”
Cole laughed, the sound merry this time. His eyes
twinkled even under the tears. “It is I that does not deserve such
a daughter as you. I didn’t deserve your mother, and I don’t
deserve you.”
Cam also smiled. “We should talk about her more often.
We seemed to avoid it all those months ago when I was
just...trying to get to know you, trying to get used to having a
real...parent.”
Cole’s smilewas warmas heliftedhis cup tohis lips. “Yes,
I would very much like to share everything about her. Her
favorite bird and her favorite song and what she liked eating.
What she hated eating…”
Cam was laughing now, the tears in her eyes pure joy.
“Her favorite bird was the dove, and her favorite song was the
one you and she sang to me when I was a baby.”
Surprise flickered across her father’s expression. And
then delight. “Why yes, that is exactly right.”
“But I want to know everything else. What made her
laugh and what made her cry and if she liked reading…” Cole waved a dismissive hand. “She despised reading.
You got that interest from me. But she adored hunting and
sunshine and fresh air. Everything made her laugh if she thought
about it a certain way. And what made her cry was when she
thought of Elyon and everything He had done for her.” His face
was glowing as he spoke, his eyes lighting with the memories. “And those tears were very happy, I can imagine,” Cam
said with her own laugh.
“Yes, very happy,” Cole said once more. “A happiness I
very much wish for you. Or rather...a joy I wish for you.” He
squeezed her hand one more time. “Go find Peter soon. Go
forgive him, so that the two of you may find that joy.” Cole
winked then, and Cam could not suppress her own grin.
Forty-Eight
Cam found that she was not in as dismal of a state as she had
expected she would be when the ball began. How could she be when her deep purple dress shimmered beneath the silver light of the room and her sisters as well as Lia, Saffira, and Amelia wore the brightest smiles she had seen in a long, long time? Lia was still surveying her handiwork of the facial effects she had painted and the hair she had arranged. “For two vast hours…” Cam remembered. And all for what? “The new year. The glowing, shimmering new year.” Even the stars were at their brightest.
A glass of sparkling clear liquid clinked to Cam’s. She glanced at the girl beside her. Saffira winked. Cam smiled but did not drink. She set the glass down. “Remember the last party we were at together?” Saffira asked cheerfully.
“In Cinis Lumen?” Cam replied.
“I forgot about that!” Saffira said with a laugh. “But you know what I mean.” She then drank long and slowly from her glass while casting Cam a knowing look, but all Cam could do was shake her head and smile. She would not say Riah’s name now. Not when she knew he and Saffira had been friends. More perhaps.
Cam lifted her gaze to peer beyond the silver light. Her eyes swept the ceilings dipping into curves that held chandeliers over them. There were no windows in the room, for one side was open entirely to a chilled garden laden with silvery trees and dotted with sparkling fountains. A row of sofas was positioned at the far end of the room beside tables of wine and blankets. The sight of the court in its full splendor left Cam breathless. Nothing like the last ballroom she had entered, one with ornate, black decor and roses scattered about.
Cam dismissed the thoughts, her eyes idly searching for him. For Peter. Even with Saffira beside her, she did not ask after him. Caleb was present but staying away from Fiera, out of courtesy, she assumed. Cam glanced in Fiera’s direction and found that she was taking far more interest in the refreshments than she normally did. Adria was approaching Cam, her eyes lit with intent. “Dance with us,” she seemed to say.
Everything warm filled Cam at once, and her body seemed as if it could levitate with it. Gratitude and sorrow filled her simultaneously. Sorrow for the loss of two partners. Sorrow for the fact that their whirling circle would be smaller. Gratitude for the fact that she could still clasp hands with two people she loved most. Gratitude that they could still move together and that they would always be near in her heart. The music seemed to float about the floor, rising steadily in the air as its volume increased. It swirled around Cam’s feet, sending her into an inclination to move them.
Adria pulled Fiera in next, and when they spun, the purple of their gowns was like the night sky set with diamond stars. The sky swirled and moved with the music ringing beneath it. This next song was shrill, mournful, and awakening at the same time. Its ebbing and flowing stirred an unhappy soul to a hopeful flame within Cam. The strings rose and fell in a cascade of stars, in sounds that filledevery fiber ofCam’s being. Shespun until all she felt were the words now falling from the lips of singers. A song of the watchers.
Born from ash and stars, with all wisdom bestowed upon Him, with hands to heal our scars, a death to bring us life,
blood closing our wounds, His power to ease our strife. From the ashes, a kingdom built by men, from the bones of those condemned, shall rise a king with a crown of stars. A crown of thorns,
a crown of scars.
To bring our weary hearts worn, to a home where our souls were born. Our King will cry tears of blood, His tongue will taste our lies, they will bind and break Him,
and He shall die,
so that we may live.
And when He will arise,
so shall all the broken,
and thus it will be forevermore
Forevermore...forevermore…
The song faded slowly enough so that when it had ceased,
Cam’s head was not spinning with motion, but rather, with the words. She smiled in turn at both of her sisters. They danced many more melodies together as well as with Amelia, Lia, and Saffira. Finally, they managed to pull Joel and Ilea off of the sofas and join
them in twirling type waltzes. The queen had her fill of merriment too. Elizabeth joined in all the dances consisting of wide circles with many persons and much clapping of hands and stomping of feet.
Her son bubbled with laughter until the hours were late and he fell over on the sofa in a heap of exhaustion. After the babe had been taken away, Cam joined Fiera, the queen, and Amelia on one of the sofas while Adria distributed drinks to them.
While Fiera, Elizabeth, and Amelia drank steaming ciders, Cam found the sparkling berry juice on ice with a hint of lemon to be far more refreshing. The conversation was light and cheerful, Elizabeth declaring the tasks which she vowed to complete for her people in the next year. “A new bridge for the far end of the river and safer passage into the northern mines...”
Cam lost interest quickly and slipped her attention to Amelia who was sitting beside her. “When will you forgive him?” Amelia asked softly. Cam did not need to ask who. The only one who had not come tonight. Even Cole in his weary state had made an appearance. And Caleb, too, though he had disappeared a while ago.
Cam turned so she could glanc e at her aunt. “I do not know,” shemurmured. “I cannot face him yet. Not without anger tearing through me. I do not wish to hurt him, yet...he has hurt me. I know I must do it soon for fear of never having the opportunity again but...”
Amelia placed a com forting hand on Cam’s shoulder. “But true forgiveness does not come until your heart decides so. But I will say this,” Amelia said. “Harboring bitterness against someone hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. Forgiveness, however, releases those toxins that poison your soul.”
Cam nodded in understanding. “Thank you,” she said quietly. She went to tip her cup to her lips but caught Amelia’s own gaze snagging as a figure entered the room. Cam lifted her gaze...and froze. Her glass nearly fell from her hand if she had not thought to grip it harder.
Peter’s blue gaze wandered the room for a full minute before they landed on her secluded form. He held her gaze, his eyes holding question. “Should I leave or stay?”
“Stay,” Cam wanted to say. But what would be the point? But it didn’t matter now, not as he was walking towards her with long strides in a sharp looking uniform the same color of her gown. His hair was swept to the side, his face clean and shaven.
And Cam found shecouldn’t takeher eyes offof him.Her skin tingled with warmth, her heart lifting in her chest, her stomach swirling.
And then he was there, right in front of her, extending his hand towards her. “Would you care to dance with me, Lady Camaria?” He swallowed hard, his gaze intently pinned upon her.
Cam felt Amelia edging away and was prone to stop her, to make up some sort of excuse. But she found her hand sliding into Peter’s instead and felt her legs rising. “They aren’t playing any music,” she said quietly.
Peter glanced over her shoulder at the clustered group of musicians positioned just beyond the sofas. Once he had caught their attention, he signaled. The sound wavered on the floor, thrumming through Cam’s skin until it grew and grew, a soft sound passing through every part of her. Peter released Cam’s hand and slipped his arms around her waist, drawing her to him.
Slowly, Cam lifted her arms over his shoulders to wind around his neck. They began swaying gently as Peter gazed at her. Cam could not bring herself to hold that gaze, not knowing exactly what she would find there. Instead, she stared off at the other guests, at the food and wine arranged, at the glimmering chandeliers. “Why is he even here? Why am I dancing with him?”
But finally, she pressed her eyes shut and leaned into him. “I forgive you,” she murmured softly. “As I hope you will forgive me. For shutting you out. For succumbing to addiction andnot reachingforyourhelpwhen Iknewyouofferedit freely.” She opened her eyes to meet his gaze. “Without judgment.”
Peter’s lip s parted, his eyes filled with a hundred emotions. He might have said something, might have broken if shehadnot addedanother remark.“AndI dohopewecan return to being friends.” Peter was silent for a long moment. He only gazed at her as they continued to sway. “Thank you,” he rasped at last.
Cam shifted slightly, cleared her throat, and said, “I have something to confess.” Peter glanced at her with curiosity lit in his eyes. Cam clenched her arms tighter around him. “I...I told Leviathan I would hand you over to him in exchange for information from Ilea. Of course, I had no such plans...but I thought you should know that I, too, have made a deal with someone untrustworthy. And...it may come back to haunt me. Leviathan will not forget it, and I fear that he…”
Peter’s hands tightened on her waist enough to silence her words. “I will face him before he finds me.” Cam’s brows furrowed. “I am leaving,” he said softly.
“What?” Cam asked as if shehad not heardhim properly. "I'm leaving," Peter repeated in a low tone. "I've been taking some time alone to consider my options and..." Cam turned, looking at him with curious eyes. She stuttered, attempting to question him. "I need to go, Cam, for my sanity. II can no longer stay here."
“Do explainyourself,” she said in a tone that matched one
as cold as his. They had stopped moving, and Cam glanced around to confirm that no one was watching them with anything but passing glances.
He sighed. As he gazed at her, his expression melted from something hard to soft like the night sea. He looked almost regretful. "They killed my father, Cam, and they've gotten away with it."
“What do you mean? The former leader of Gnosi died for what he did to our parents,” Cam hissed in a loud whisper.
“The remaining Shadow Bearers have not. The one who ordered the leader of Gnosi to do so has not,” Peter muttered quietly.
"Where are you going then? How do you plan on avenging them?”
"I will find them wherever they are. I do not know yet how..."
"No, Peter! I will not allow you to fall to such reckless behavior!" Cam was boiling now.
"I will be successful, Cam! I can not stop until justice is brought," Peter raised his voice.
"You are acting on revenge.” Her tone was calm and firm.
Peter seemed to hear her but made no comment. "I'm not like Owen, you know. I will not be corrupted."
"It is not you that knows the future!" Cam's voice heightened once more. "Owen is a man. A human being. You can just as easily fall to the hands of our enemies. It is happening this very moment. Passion and revenge drive you!"
"And why would you not have me leave, Cam?"
"Because you must stay safe!"
"It is your own selfish desire. You want me to stay for yourself..."
"Yes, Peter, because I care for you unlike I’ve ever cared for anyone else, and I will do all I can to prevent anyone I love from throwing their souls and lives away." She halted her words, panting for breath, surprised at her own outburst. Peter looked at her in amazement, his jaw hanging open. His hands slackened at her waist.
“Love-"
Cam interrupted. "Your father would have been against such actions. He would want you here working with the Keepers. You are one of us!" Her rush of words ceased as she gathered her breath. Her chest heaved. She swallowed before pulling herself away from him. Her quickened steps led her from the ballroom even as the music reached its roaring peek behind them and Peter was calling after her.
Cam swept down the hall in a fury, her steps quickening when she heard footsteps behind her. "Cam, wait." Before he could catch her, she opened a random door and flung herself headlong into a darkened chamber. Only a sliver of moonlight illuminated Peter as he jerked open the same door and stepped in beside her.
“Leave me alone,” she grunted as she pushed him. Her push was more forceful than she had intended, surprising them both as Peter began to fall towards the ground. His fingers snagged at Cam’s wrist, and she fell with him.
A cry sounded from her lips as she landed atop him. He grunted at the impact of the hardened floor beneath him. Cam made to scramble off of him, but another sensation was fil
ling her. Warmth. Tingling warmth. And his lips were pressed to hers. Gently, as his hands reached to cup her face. She uttered the smallest of gasps against his lips and found that her hands were clenching the front of his shirt. She kissed him back. Just once before…
He pulled away, looked in her eyes and brushed his thumb down her cheek. “Stay for me,” Cam whispered. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed her brow to his. “And if Leviathan comes searching for you...we will face him together.”
Peter nodded. It was answer enough. His lips brushed hers once, and she felt a hundred different feelings coursing through her. Frustration that he had actually been planning to leave on a suicide mission. Gratitude that he was promising to stay. And...and whatever fluttered in her stomach at the prospect that he had kissed her merely for the sake of wanting to.
“I could get used to this,” she thought.
Peter chuckled, and she turned slightly pink with the realization that she had said the words aloud. He folded her hands in his as his mouth skimmed her jaw lightly. “Face him together.”
“He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.”
-Prophecy of Immanuel written by the Sixth Prophet during the Third Age
Forty-Nine
It was raining again. Riah knew it even before his eyes were
opened. The steady thrumming against the windows was the rhythm of life these days. It had been far too long since he had seen the golden disk of sunlight. Riah, even with his eyes closed and mind and body still half asleep, wondered if a draft had entered the room. Which meant that a door or window had been opened. No, not a window. The sound of rain had not increased any.
Someone shook him, a small hand grasping his shoulder. He shifted startled, and his eyes opened at last. His pencil and parchment rollingoffhis lap andherealizedthathewasn’t in the gallery at all but pressed up against Ukkonen who was still sleeping. Arria was grinning down at him. A sheen of water glistened across her brow, and her maple hair was dotted with droplets. “Leviathan wants us to dine with his guests.”
“Welcome back,” Riah replied groggily. “You were gone too long.” The two weeks since Arria had left on an assignment without giving Riah details, had left him lonely. And yet, he had still avoided Leviathan's guests, especially Edrun.
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