“Fine,” Will says, rolling his eyes. “Amateur.” He locks his arm around mine and guides me through the heaving crowd to an empty table. I pull out a chair and sit down, facing the dance floor so that I can keep a lookout for Jaden, and Holden and Olivia quickly stroll over to join us. Holden slides into the chair three along from me, leaving a safe distance between us.
“I’ll grab us some drinks,” Will says, and adjusts his bow tie then wanders off.
“I’ll come with you,” Olivia says, and I really wish she hadn’t offered, because as she heads off with her hand on Will’s shoulder, I’m left alone with Holden at the huge table.
Both of us are silent as we stare at anything but each other. I don’t want to speak first, because I know I wasn’t the one who was wrong last night, so I pull out my makeup from my bag and begin to powder my face and top up my lipstick.
Holden finally looks over at me, his dark eyes reflecting the bright, neon flashes of color from the strobe lights, and then shakes his head. He pushes his chair back and slides along the row until he’s finally sitting in the chair next to me, reaching up to loosen his tie although it’s already hanging freely. He has to lean in close to me so that I can hear him clearly over the music as he says, “I’m sorry about last night.” He’s only a few inches away from me, so I can sense him swallow his pride as he admits, “I was being a jerk, and I didn’t mean to make Jaden and Dani feel bad.”
“Yeah,” I agree, shoving my makeup back into my bag, “you were.” I know it’s hard for Holden to admit when he’s wrong, so I appreciate his apology, though I want more from him. I want an explanation. “You think I’m a hypocrite, don’t you?”
Holden leans away from me and clenches his jaw. He’ll be pissed at Will for telling me what he said, but I don’t care. “You did ask us . . . ” he mumbles after a moment of silence.
“A year ago, Holden,” I cut in firmly, fixing him with a look. I wish he would just let it go. “I asked you a year ago, and you know exactly why I did. You know why I couldn’t be around them, and I can’t thank you and Will enough for taking my side, but you don’t have to avoid them anymore.” I fold my arms across my chest and lean forward, forcing Holden to look at me. “So why are you being so rude whenever they’re around?”
“Because I . . .” he begins, dark eyes narrowed and a frown forming. “I don’t know how to act around them.”
“You . . . you just act normal, Holden,” I say quietly, then heave a sigh as I sit back against my chair again. It’s easy to say, but it’s so much harder to do. I know that from experience. “If I can be around them without freaking out, then I’m pretty sure you can.”
Holden props his elbows up on the table and runs his hands through his hair in frustration, leaving it ruffled. He stares blankly ahead at the bustling dance floor, watching everyone bust out their best moves. “I can’t,” he says finally.
It’s then that I spot Jaden again. He’s at the very corner of the dance floor, right by the DJ booth, awkwardly side-stepping back and forth and nodding his head to the music as Ellie dances around him. She’s a great dancer and she is putting him to shame. He has a drink in his hand that he sips at every few seconds. “You’re going to have to,” I murmur, tearing my gaze away, “because you might be seeing a lot more of them.”
“What?” Holden’s eyes immediately flash back over to meet mine and he straightens up, staring at me in panic. “Kenzie, what?” he pleads.
“I’ve missed hanging out with them, and I am trying to make up for lost time,” I tell him. I figure it’s better to be straight-up than to pivot around the subject. I didn’t want to do this here, but if I have the chance, then I’m taking it. I have already told Will, so it’s time to tell Holden the truth too. “And, believe it or not, I like Jaden all over again.”
Holden’s face contorts with an entire range of different emotions. “What the fuck, Kenzie?”
I look back at him, surprised yet again by his attitude, wondering if I’m missing something. Holden didn’t mind when I was dating Jaden a year ago. “What, Holden?” I urge, leaning toward him.
“Nothing, Kenzie,” he says, shaking his head. Eyes still wide, he swallows hard and his gaze bores aimlessly into the crowd on the dance floor, zoned out as though he isn’t even here anymore. I can’t tell if he thinks I’m fickle, or if he’s annoyed out of some weird sense of protectiveness.
As if the devil himself had planned it, Jaden emerges from the crowd on the dance floor and stops in front of our table, oblivious to his awful timing. He flashes me his signature crooked smile and then shifts his gaze to the spaced-out Holden that’s sitting next to me.
“Hey, man,” Jaden says, leaning forward and pressing his hand flat down on the table. “Last night was something, huh? How about we forget about it?” He stretches across the huge circular table and extends his hand to Holden.
Holden tilts his chin up, his expression blank, and he doesn’t shake Jaden’s awaiting hand. “What’s taking them so long with the drinks?” he mumbles under his breath, quickly rising to his feet and striding off across the dance floor, cutting through the mass of bodies, most likely elbowing a few of them on his way.
“Ignore him,” I tell Jaden, who, for some reason or another, seems surprised by Holden’s odd behavior. By now, he should be used to it. “He’s being a jerk again, though I don’t think he realizes.”
“I can tell,” Jaden says with a small chuckle, straightening back up. He walks around the table and pulls out the chair next to me, sitting down sideways and propping one arm up on the edge on the table. His smile is addictive and contagious as his gaze sweeps over my entire body, and I blush under his scrutiny. His glossy blue eyes come to rest on my mouth and he swallows hard. I know what he’s thinking about, because I’m thinking about it too: We’re thinking of last night. I wouldn’t mind repeating it. In fact, I’m dying to.
He leans in closer and for a split second I think he’s about to kiss me, but instead he places his hand on my knee, his touch soft, and glances up from beneath his dark eyelashes. “Every time I catch a glimpse of you,” he murmurs, “all I can think is . . . wow.”
My eyes fall to my lap and I break the eye contact, because I’m unable to look at him without my cheeks flaming with color. Nervously, I run my fingers over the material of my dress and stare at Jaden’s hand on my knee. I reach for my bag and look back up at him, finally meeting his eyes again. I nod to the dance floor and smile. “Dance with me?”
Jaden’s touch disappears from my knee as his hand finds mine. He interlocks our fingers firmly together and then stands up, carefully pulling me with him. Even though my feet hurt, I’m willing to dance my way through the pain so long as it’s with Jaden, and with my hand in his, in front of the entire school, we make our way to the very center of the dance floor.
20
Jess and Kailee are giving me curious, funny looks. They’re dancing not too far away with Tanner and Anthony, though their attention is more on Jaden and me than their boyfriends. They’re desperate to know what’s going on and I can tell by the teasing winks that they’ve already figured it out for themselves, so I just roll my eyes at them and look back to the boy in front of me. Never in a million years did I expect to be dancing with Jaden Hunter at homecoming.
However, we’re not exactly dancing. We’re swaying around in front of one another, singing along to the music and laughing in sync, just like everyone else is. Hands are in the air, voices are raised. We’re all crammed in tightly, brushing up against one another, but it’s enjoyable.
With the music loud and the entire marquee vibrating from the noise, I have to step closer to Jaden and lean in so I can speak to him, but I don’t mind, because it gives me an excuse to touch him as I press my hand to his jaw, my mouth by his ear. “Do you remember that we were supposed to go to homecoming together last year?”
As I drop my hand from his jaw, he places his on my shoulder and edges back in closer to answer me. “Yeah,�
�� he says, his breath warm against cheek. “It would have been fun.”
Again, the two of us alternate between listening and talking, touching one another and leaning in. “But hey, we’re here now, right?”
“Right.”
The current song dwindles to an end, but the opening beat of “Closer” by The Chainsmokers echoes around the tent and results in a uproar of cheers. The song has been dominating the charts for weeks now, especially here in Colorado because of that damn Boulder reference, and every single person on the dance floor is yelling the lyrics and becoming more rowdy. The energy in here is at its peak as the end of the dance to draws closer, and Jaden and I are no exception. I find myself singing along at the top of my voice while moving closer and closer to Jaden until our bodies are touching again.
Reaching up, I place my hand around the nape of his neck and I can feel the soft trim of his hair beneath my fingertips. I’m not known for being shy, but I have an unusual amount of confidence all of a sudden as the song rolls into its chorus, and I move my lips to the edge of Jaden’s jaw, right below his ear, and dare to murmur, “So, baby, pull me closer in the back seat of your Corolla.”
He immediately steps back from me so that his gaze can meet mine, and he’s clearly surprised by my personalized rewrite of the lyrics, because he studies me intensely as he tries to gauge whether or not I’m only kidding or if I’m being serious. It’s a mixture of both, really, and I can feel the rush of excitement throughout my body as I wait for his reaction.
Finally, his lips curve into a mischievous smirk. “Is that a request, MacKenzie Rivers?”
“Maybe.”
Everyone around us is still dancing, still singing, still laughing, but we’re no longer interested in the dance. At this point, the only thing I’m interested in is Jaden and the warmth of his skin as he subtly slips his hand into mine and squeezes our fingers together. I stay close behind him with my free hand on his bicep, following him through the crowd toward the exit. Already, my skin is tingling in anticipation of what’s to come. I want to kiss Jaden again. So badly, so desperately, and right now.
We break out of the heat of the marquee and into the cool night air outside. It’s dark and it’s nearing 11PM. There are already a few others mingling around outside, mostly for some fresh air, but for the most part, Jaden and I appear to be the only students making a swift, early getaway. We stride out of the courtyard, but as we pass some of the guys from the football team, leaning against the school building and chuckling amongst themselves, Jaden comes to an abrupt stop and I bump straight into the back of him.
He spins around to face me with our hands still interlocked, and I feel him brush his thumb over my skin in soft circles while his flirty gaze captures mine. “Since we don’t have an official homecoming picture together,” he says, “let’s take one right now. It’s our last chance.” He releases his hold on my hand and reaches into the pocket of his pants to fetch his phone. Opening up the camera, he glances around at those standing by and then calls over one of his teammates. “Can you take a picture of Kenz and me?”
Caleb, who sits in front of me in Spanish class and often cheats off of me, nods. He takes Jaden’s phone and holds it up, flashing us a grin.
Jaden and I move closer to one another and I angle my body into his, wrapping one hand around his back and placing the other on his chest, tilting my head toward him. His hand rests gently on the small of my back, and when I quickly glance sideways at him, he’s already staring straight ahead at his phone, that gorgeous, crooked smile toying at his lips. I look back at Caleb and I don’t even have to force myself to smile, because I’ve been grinning the entire time already. I do tone it down to a more subtle smile in an effort to look more elegant than goofy, and there’s a bright flash that almost blinds me as Caleb snaps the picture.
“Thanks,” Jaden says, breaking out of our pose and stepping forward to reclaim his phone. He doesn’t even check to see if the picture has turned out okay; he simply shoves the device back into his pocket and then turns and reaches for my hand. His skin feels cooler now as a result of the chilly breeze, but with our hands locked again, warmth seems to quickly radiate between our skin.
“Jaden,” Caleb says, and we pause after a few steps, glancing back over our shoulders. Caleb shoves his hands into the front pockets of his pants and shrugs. There’s a small, awkward smile of trepidation on his lips as he says, “It’s cool that you didn’t miss homecoming this year. You played great yesterday.”
I glance at Jaden to check his reaction, and I can tell by the gentle softness to his smile that he appreciates the comment, despite Caleb’s unsure, cautious tone. Unlike when I use that tone with Jaden, he seems to let it slide with Caleb, and simply says, “Thanks, man.”
We finally set off again, this time making it out of the courtyard and into the parking lot with no more interruptions. It’s full of cars, yet clear of students. There are still another twenty minutes of the dance left and we can hear the music and the collective singing from all the way out here. It continues to fade as we near Jaden’s Corolla parked over by the football field until the noise is nothing more than a distant buzz. The only thing that’s louder in the silence of the parking lot is the thumping of my heart.
I swallow the lump in my throat as we stop just in front of the car. Jaden leans back against the passenger door and I hover a few inches in front of him, so we’re facing one another with our hands still connected. “So,” he breathes, voice slightly husky after raising his voice for so long back inside the dance. My voice hurts too, mostly from all the singing I’ve done, and I’m really hoping I can pull off the cracked, raspy voice as attractively as he can. “Kenzie.”
“Yeah?”
“Nothing,” Jaden says. He looks down, studying our interlocked hands for a moment. He separates our fingers and then realigns them. “I just like saying your name,” he murmurs, still looking down, still moving our hands back and forth. “MacKenzie . . . Kenzie . . . Kenz . . . ”
“You know you can just call me Kenz,” I tell him. I reserve that nickname for those I care about the most, and I love the way it sounds on Jaden’s lips the best.
“Kenz,” he says firmly. His eyes flash up to meet mine and he exhales into the cool night air. “Can I tell you something?”
It’s not as cold as it was last night, but a shiver surges down my spine. My chest feels heavy with nerves as one million and one possibilities run through my mind. Jaden makes me so, so nervous and I’m still trying to decide whether I love it or hate it. I’m beginning to think it’s a good thing, because it means Jaden is doing something to me that no one has ever done before. I can’t speak, so I just nod, my eyes never leaving his.
Jaden straightens up and pushes himself off the car. He hovers in front of me for the longest of moments, his eyes taking in every single part of me while I remain frozen under his stare. He lifts his free hand and places it against my jawline. “I really love these,” he says, brushing his thumb delicately over the freckles on my left cheek. The blue of his eyes seems lighter somehow, almost gray in the darkness of the night. They meet mine and the corners of his lips curve into the most adorable, sincere smile that forces his eyes to crinkle at their edges. “Or as you would say . . . ‘cute’.”
I press my cheek into the soft palm of Jaden’s hand and release a small laugh, closing my eyes and placing my hand over his, holding it there and enjoying the sensation that his touch gives me. “Your birthmark is cute,” I tease as I open my eyes again, my eyelashes flickering.
He sweeps his thumb over my cheek again, over all of the freckles that I hate so much. “If you say that one more time, Kenz, I swear . . . ”
“You swear what?” I challenge, wrapping my hand around his and teasingly removing it from my face. I bite down on my lower lip, drawing Jaden’s attention to my mouth, and then I purposely part my lips and raise an eyebrow, waiting.
“Then I swear I’ll do this,” he whispers.
He brea
ks free and eagerly reaches for my face, cupping his hand beneath my jaw again. His mouth crashes against mine at the same time as his body does, and he releases my other hand so that he can also grab my waist, pulling me against him until we fall back against the car with a thud. My hands find their way into his hair and the kiss becomes rougher than it was last night. Faster, deeper, longer. I follow Jaden’s lead for the most part, though I exercise control at points, and the two of us alternate back and forth, showing one another what we’ve got to offer. My fingers are tangled into his tousled hair, his hand is along my jawline, his fingertips on the back of my neck, holding me near. I can’t get enough of him and I wish I could kiss him all night long, but I have to stop eventually in order to catch my breath. As I pull away, I take his lower lip between my teeth, teasing him.
Jaden releases a long breath of air as he drops his hand from my jaw and runs it through his ruffled hair instead. It’s lost its style, but I don’t think he cares, because he just stares at me in admiration or disbelief. I’m not sure which, but I know that I’m breathing heavily as I tuck lose strands of my own hair back behind my ear. Behind me, I hear the distant echo of voices, and when I cast a glance over my shoulder, I spy a group of young freshmen strolling through the parking lot further down. When I turn back around, I nod once over Jaden’s shoulder to the Corolla behind him.
“Unlock the car, Jaden,” I whisper.
Jaden’s eyebrows shoot upward as it dawns on him that I’m not finished yet, and he quickly feels around in the pockets of his pants for the car keys. He pulls open the passenger door to allow me inside, but I shake my head while smirking at him. I purposely rub against his body as I head for the back door instead, pulling it open and carefully sliding into the back seat. I move right along to the other side, kick off my shoes, and then lean forward to glance up at Jaden.
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