Mrs. London had given me a green light, but Regan and I hadn’t really spoken beyond a hi and bye, or even texted each other for almost two weeks. I figured she was sorting things out and I didn’t want to intrude or rush her. It had taken some time, but my life was falling into place, and I knew how tricky these things were.
But still, I missed her. Each glimpse in the hall, in class, at the center, across the street, was killin’ me.
“Hi,” she said, waving awkwardly.
My heartbeat sped up just from the sound of her voice and the sight of her dimpled smile. “Hey.”
“So, it’s been a minute,” Regan said. She took me in, seeming to admire my hair as her gaze ran over me.
I could faintly hear Raviv somewhere in the background shutting the front door. My mission resumed as I went to our pantry.
“Feels like forever.”
“We should talk.” Regan hung back and watched me retrieve the paper plates and Solo cups. “Can I ask you something completely random?”
It felt like we were stalling the inevitable, but hell, I’d take any second with her. Kissing her had been a mistake—all I could think about was doing it again, playing pool with her again, dancing with her again, being with her for real. Thoughts of Regan London had consumed me, and here she was, in my kitchen.
I was the prince of nothing charming, but hey, life wasn’t a fairy tale anyway. Maybe the redeemed bad guy could get the girl in the end.
“Shoot,” I said as I turned and gave her my attention.
She smiled coyly. “What’s your favorite song?”
Pausing, I took a moment to rack my brain. “Right now? Definitely, ‘Self Care’ by Mac Miller. What’s yours?”
I watched as she bit her lip thoughtfully. “Guess.”
“‘Crazy in Love,’” I threw out.
She snorted. “Not even close.”
“So tell me.”
“David Bowie, ‘Heroes,’” she said. “I was listening to it the other day, and my mom was shocked I knew such an old song. It gives me strength and I could use that a lot these days.”
She and Troy had split officially. During lunch he still reigned over his fan base, and Regan happily sat with Malika and a few other girls here and there. Her father was probably devastated he was losing Akron’s hero as his future son-in-law.
“Where are we, Regan?” I wanted to know.
She wrung her hands, frowning. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
I could already guess where this was going. Yeah, she was here, but she sounded sad, not happy to be around me.
I focused on counting plates. “Yeah?”
“Which do you want first?”
I put up a brave front. “Good news first, I like a realistic ending.”
Regan softened up. “The good news is I told my parents about accounting and Troy and me being done.”
“Good for you, I know it took a lot,” I said.
She didn’t disagree. “I’ll be seventeen next week, and after a not-so-sweet sixteen years of control, I’m looking forward to doing things my way.”
My hands itched to take her into my arms, but I held back. Her words were giving me hope. “What’s the bad news?”
“My dad knows I’m into you, and he doesn’t approve. So, while my mom likes you, don’t look forward to my dad inviting you over anytime soon to watch Sunday night football.” She winked at me, letting me know that there wasn’t really any bad news.
I blew out a sigh of relief. ¡Órale!
Her father didn’t like me? I saw that coming, but it didn’t sound like he was going to get in the way.
“If we pursue something...?” I had to know.
Regan heaved a sigh and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “He doesn’t like the idea of you, but he knows I’m going to do what I want regardless. Having my mom on my side makes me feel weightless in this. I like you. I like you because you listen and you care, you ask me what I want and if things are okay, and I need that. You’re the first boy I’ve wanted to date, and I want that in my life above anything else right now. My dad will just have to deal with it.”
Some battles wouldn’t be won, but that was okay. We’d wage this war together, if time should let us.
It was a Friday night, and Fridays were for hanging out with friends and having a good time. Not grieving over things that didn’t matter.
“Will you stay, for pizza?” I asked. “There’s plenty, and Jenaya’s picking the movie, so it’s sure to be good.”
Regan brightened, like her father was the last thing on her mind. “Yes, I’d like that.”
Feeling bold, I went over to her, sizing her up. I liked her. She liked me. The future was looking good from that starting point.
“How do you feel about being with me as more than friends?” I took in her face, gauging her reaction.
Regan bit into her lip, playing shy. “Are you asking me to go out with you?”
“I’m needing you to go out with me,” I clarified. “I’ve never had a serious girlfriend before, but with you, I’d really like to try.”
She grinned. “That’s something I’d love to try, too.”
“There’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for a very long time now,” I began, inching closer. “Can I take you out, to a real Mexican restaurant?” As she burst into giggles, I went on, holding back my own laugh, “I don’t think I can leave this earth with you thinking Taco House is the best.”
Regan threw her head back and laughed, and it was almost like she was glowing. Her happiness—her genuine happiness—was infectious. She reached out, playfully swatting at my chest. “Yes, I’d love to go out with you and try some real Mexican food.”
Things weren’t squared away neatly and perfectly, but that was okay. This was a fresh start, for the both of us, and the possibilities were endless.
Regan
“Annnnnd Regan is done!” Jenaya announced for the camera as it recorded us. “As you can see, I got my girl lookin’ like yasss, and if you like it, you know the vibes. Hit that subscribe button, let’s run up them likes, and I’ll see you next time. This has been Jenaya’s World.”
At the last second, Malika stuck her head into view for the camera. “And don’t forget her handy assistant Malika. Follow your girl on all socials at Malika-underscore-Roy, that’s M-A-L-I—you know what, I wrote it down in case it’s easier.” She held up a slip of paper with her handle for her social media accounts written large in all caps. Only Malika. “Let’s get your girl up to a thousand followers.”
“Happy with yourself?” Jenaya teased as she ended her recording.
Jenaya had started a YouTube channel for her makeup looks and hairstyles. When she asked if she could record my makeover, I was shy about it, but I couldn’t say no. She always looked good, and it was good content for her subscribers to see her work her magic on me.
I checked myself out in the mirror, primping my hair and adjusting my sweater.
My look was minimal, as my parents weren’t ready for me to walk around with a full beat. Small victories were still very much appreciated.
Together, Malika and Jenaya had tag teamed me in my effort to get myself ready for my first official date with Guillermo. Before Guillermo, I had never really spoken to Jenaya, but there was no missing her sense of style and her presence. I wasted no time crossing that bridge and properly introducing myself before asking her to help with my look. Malika had been all too ready to join in and style my outfit.
Jenaya left my hair straight, pinning some of it back on one side with a rhinestone hairpin. She’d given me natural makeup, with a nude matte lipstick that I really loved on me. Malika had picked out an off-the-shoulder chunky gray sweater with black skinny jeans and matching suede booties.
“I look so pretty,” I gushed as I examined myself in the mirror.
Jenaya hovered over my shoulder, peering in the mirror as well. “You are pretty, Regan.”
Coming from her, the compliment meant a lot. “Thanks.”
“We’re going to let you go,” Malika announced as she gathered her bag from my bed. “But I will be up for all the details, which I expect to be glowing since Mo is amazing.”
“Wait.” I grabbed my cell phone, quickly holding it out as I stood to my feet. “Let’s take a photo first.”
Jenaya and Malika squeezed in on either side of me and I snapped a quick selfie. Outside of Guillermo, I definitely wanted to get to know Jenaya better.
“What’s your handle?” I asked her as I prepared to post the image with the caption Date Night.
Jenaya recited her info before offering me a hug. I walked both girls down to the front door, watching them climb into Malika’s car before taking off.
Back up in my room, I put on some perfume, my favorite by Ariana Grande, wanting to totally entice Guillermo on our first date.
“Ahem.”
Behind me, I caught my father in the doorway. His eyes took their time to study my booties and then move on up to my hair and makeup.
“That boy is down there waiting,” he told me.
“Guillermo,” I corrected as I turned and faced him. “His name is Guillermo.”
My father grimaced, still not over Troy. “Not a fan.” He folded his arms, getting comfortable as he rested against the doorjamb. “Before you go, I just wanted to say something.” He eyed me. “I’m sorry about Tanner. It’s nice to have Simba here and he’s cute, but I know deep down it’s not easy going on without Tanner.”
While we hadn’t stopped looking, it was becoming more and more clear that this time, chances were we wouldn’t get him back. I liked to think that a nice family had him, that they were giving him all the love that he was worth. Refusing to cry, I focused on my hands and how they were shaking in my lap. “I know.”
“Your mom and I plan on getting Simba chipped, just in case...” Just in case he lost this one, too. “But I intend to be more watchful, less careless. And outside of Tanner, I am sorry about pushing accounting on you so heavy. I just wanted you to have a shot at a guaranteed career and a future. It’s a big part of our family, and I assumed you were interested. I never stopped to see what you wanted, and if it’s animal care, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
My mother was already in support of me; to have my father not hold a grudge and be with me as well caused hope to blossom in my belly. Maybe, in time, he’d like Guillermo, too. “Thank you, Dad. I think this is the right path for me.”
“Well, I’m with you,” he assured me. “And, I really appreciate Guillermo going out of his way to look for Tanner, and coming across Simba. Your mother told me about how you two rescued him. I guess it’s been clear all along where your strength and heart was. What you did was brave, Rey.”
I’d never felt brave or strong before, but now I did, and I was beyond happy my father could see it too. That he saw something in my new path. Everything was finally in place, and that was amazing.
“And,” he began, “I’m sorry Troy cheated on you and I wasn’t making it any better by pressing you so much to be with him. I’m disappointed in him, but more importantly, I’m just glad you’re happy and doing what’s right for you first.”
Unable to contain myself, I held my arms out and my father crossed over to give me a tight hug. To have him completely on my side? Nothing beat that.
“Dad,” Avery said, poking his head into my room. “I’m heading to the park to shoot some ball with Nathan and Kevin.”
My father’s brows rose toward his hairline as he stood up. “Basketball?”
Avery shrugged. “I missed football, so why not?”
Our father looked impressed, a proud smile washing across his face. “Don’t be out too late, and call me when you get there and when you’re on your way home.”
He walked out of the room, passing my brother and patting him on the back.
Avery sneaked me a look, nodding his head in an unspoken agreement. He was taking one for the team. While he had become distant from me ever since his campaign to wow our father with his new interest in sports started, I knew deep down we’d be okay.
I turned off my lights and made my way downstairs, a wave of nervousness taking over. Here we go.
It all blew away at the sight of Guillermo squatting down, grinning as he gently played with Simba. Gone was the weight of his past, replaced with the light airy sense of a great future. His hair was down, he was wearing a denim jacket over what looked like a long-sleeved black thermal shirt and jeans and sneakers.
“Whoa, we match,” I said to announce myself.
Guillermo lifted his attention to me, his eyes going wide and his mouth falling open slightly. The look made me bite my lip.
He collected the large bouquet of red roses I suddenly realized was beside him and came and stood in front of me, towering but not intimidating. I could feel him radiating a magnetic energy that made me want to wrap my arms around him and not let go.
Instead, I settled on a cheesy smile as I held my hand out. “Hi.”
His gaze fell to my extended hand, a thick brow arching. He smirked as he leaned close, giving me a delicious whiff of his cologne as he paused by my ear. “You. Look. Incredible. Dimples.”
There was no containing the huge blush that spread across my face.
Guillermo handed over the roses. “Happy birthday, Regan.”
Spending Friday night off from the center, the day after our Halloween party for the kids—where I left with a hearty stash of candy of my own—with the boy who made me feel comfortable was perfect.
Best birthday ever. “Thank you.”
“You two have a good evening.” My mother was peeking around the corner down the hall. I had no idea how long she’d been watching.
Guillermo’s warm, strong hand took mine, his fingers tangling with my own. “We will, and thank you, for being okay with this.”
My mother nodded as she came and took the roses to place in water. “It’s what Regan wants and deserves.”
With her blessing, Guillermo opened our front door and led me outside, where his car was parked in our driveway. Keeping up with the chivalry, he opened my door for me, and just as he shut it, I leaned over and opened his for him. A gesture that made him grin as he got in the driver seat.
“So, Mexican food?” I asked.
He turned toward me, his eyes drinking me in once more. “Yup, I wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I didn’t get you cultured.”
I leaned back against my door. “Boyfriend?”
The grin that sneaked onto his mouth was inviting me to kiss it. “Well, yeah, at least I’m hopin’, assuming this date goes well.”
In reality, we were pretty much an item already. Texting had commenced nonstop, as well as hand-holding and stolen kisses for days. This date, our first date, was just a ceremonial thing to solidify our relationship.
I loved the sound of that. Guillermo Lozano is my boyfriend.
“I kind of have this rule about not kissing until the third date,” I said, feigning seriousness. “For you, I may reconsider, if tonight goes well.”
“Haven’t you heard?” He came close, stopping at my lips, gazing up at me for permission. “I break all the rules.”
Raw need consumed me, setting my heart and soul ablaze. Throwing caution to the wind, I leaned over and kissed the boy I wanted most.
* * *
Playlist
Down Bad
Dreamville ft. J. Cole + EARTHGANG + JID + Young Nudy + Bas
Yes
Beyoncé
Regrets
Jay-Z
Medicine
Queen Naija
Voices in My Head / Stick to the Plan
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Big Sean
Pretend
Tinashe ft. A$AP Rocky
a lot
21 Savage ft. J. Cole
Sorry (Original Demo)
Beyoncé
Hair Down
SiR ft. Kendrick Lamar
Drew Barrymore
SZA
Hold On, We’re Going Home
Drake ft. Majid Jordan
Are You That Somebody?
Aaliyah
Way Back Home
Cordae ft. Ty Dolla $ign
Forgive Me
Chloe x Halle
Don’t
Bryson Tiller
Butterflies
Queen Naija
Crying Out for Me
Mario
Good Girl
Kiana Ledé ft. Col3trane
Changes
Justin Bieber
Hitchhiker
Demi Lovato
Trip
Jacquees
A Sweeter Place
Selena Gomez ft. Kid Cudi
R.A.N.
Miguel
Wild Thoughts
DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna + Bryson Tiller
Second Chances
Kiana Ledé ft. 6LACK
Dilemma
Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland
Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready)
Alicia Keys
Permission
Ro James
Acknowledgments
First, I gotta thank my city, Akron, Ohio, for not only being the setting, but a large part of my inspiration for this book (and the books that follow). Someone tell LeBron I’m coming for the king of Akron title LOL.
From my elementary school to my middle school and finally to my high school, one thing was certain: I lived in a world of color. I looked around at my peers and always had a sense of the world around me. They tell you to write what you know, and because of where I come from, having a secondary character, or even a main character, who’s a non-Black POC or even White is just natural to me.
I grew up a reader, and I’m big into films and TV, so another inspiration for me are those early 2000s teen dramas and not to mention the films from the ’90s/00s. And okay, also John Hughes because I find his work timeless and he’s probably my fave writer ever. I loved the edginess of those old shows and movies, hence why I never want to write too clean of a teen, because even today that rings true for some youth. But one thing I noticed from my fave reads to films to shows was the mass Whiteness, and if there was a character of color, they were that one little dot among the overall White cast. Oftentimes, characters of color are attached to a White character as a friend or love interest, but we deserve our own stories.
The Right Side of Reckless Page 33