“Fuck!” I cried out as my fingers tangled in his silky locks. “Right there!” I rolled and rocked my hips against his face as he picked up speed.
Dane didn’t even come up for air as he shoved his tongue inside of me and licked my walls. He trailed back up and lashed my clit as he plunged his fingers into me. My back arched, my pussy pressed flush against his face as I felt the impending orgasm begin.
It built in my belly. The more he licked and sucked the bigger the coil inside me became. I screamed as my body bucked and jolted. I came hard, every muscle tensed and tight until it was all over, all of the tension disappeared, and I lay spent and totally exhausted. I pushed my fingers through my hair and let him up for air.
Dane wiped his mouth with his arm and grinned at me.
“That was amazing!” My head was still in the clouds, but I was already realizing what I’d done. I knew I wanted it and bad, but now that the orgasm had come and gone, I was stuck with a harsh reality. I’d broken my own rule.
“Savannah?” he asked as he shifted on the bed and glanced down at me with concern on his face. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. How was I supposed to explain things? I quickly sat up and scrambled off the bed. I could feel Dane’s eyes on me as I yanked open a drawer and tugged out a dress that I could slip over my head.
I’d really fucked up. I knew better. Never sleep with a client. That was my number one rule, but I’d broken it for him. My chest tightened. I knew how these things worked. After a night together, a client rarely called. I’d crossed a line and blurred our roles. What if when everything was said and done he wanted nothing to do with me? I knew that would break my heart and I’d brought it on myself by jumping into bed with him.
“Savannah,” he called as he reached out and grabbed my arm. “What’s going on?” he asked as he kept me from running away.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”
“Savannah…”
I snatched my arm away from him and glared. My eyes burned and I felt the tightness in my chest spread. I’d made a horrible decision. I’d let myself be talked into a physical relationship with him. We might not have done everything, but it was plenty. Too many lines had been crossed.
“Let’s get something straight,” I snapped. “I’m not some prostitute that you can have just because you’re paying me.”
Dane looked as if I had slapped him. There was white line around his mouth. “The thought never crossed my mind.”
“Keep your hands off me. This isn’t what I came here for and I’m not going to be your easy lay for the weekend because you think you paid for it.” I shoved past him and fled the bedroom. I slammed the door behind me as I ran into the bathroom and locked it. The house was quiet and I leaned against the door as I tried to figure out what the hell just happened.
That had been one of the best things I’d ever felt, but I also knew it was one of the worst things I’d ever let happen to me. As much as I wanted more, I didn’t want to be crushed when the job was over, and we parted ways. I turned on the tap and splashed cold water on my face. Dear God, I could smell him on every bit of my skin. I needed to wash him off before I lost my mind.
I stood under the shower and cried silently for that girl… I could never be again.
Savannah
I couldn’t be anywhere around Dane.
I felt as if I would either yell at him again, or I would end up back in bed with him. I didn’t have to worry because I heard the front door close.
Wrapping myself in a towel, I stood at the window of the living room and watched Dane walk away from the cottage. His strides were long. Maybe he was angry or frustrated. Maybe he went to cool off or talk to Robert.
I knew I could have used someone to talk to. I wanted to call my best friend back home, but I knew she’d be at work now. I sighed and pushed my fingers through my hair. If I didn’t do something soon, I knew I would start crawling up the walls.
I’d made a mess earlier, but all my clothes had been neatly put away in the bedroom. I felt a tug in my heart. Dane had put everything away for me! He didn’t have to, especially after the way I’d yelled at him. That’s what I hated most of all. He was just too freaking perfect. And it wasn’t like he’d forced me to get into bed with him. I was sure he felt like shit because that’s what I had basically accused him of doing.
That and paying me for sex. Ugh…
Damn, I really knew how to treat people when I was freaking out, didn’t I? I wanted to say something, apologize for it, but every time I thought about being near him, blood rushed up to my face and my stomach twisted into knots. I had to get it together before I could face him again.
I sat on the bed and hugged myself. Jesus, I was such a mess.
I decided I needed to get some air as well. Staying cooped up inside the cottage just waiting for him to come back wasn’t a good idea. I’d already started fidgeting as I sat there and I knew it would only get worse. All this pent up extra energy had to go somewhere.
I dug out my sneakers and slipped them on. I was so upset, confused, and frustrated I had no idea how long it would take to calm down. I needed to walk it off before I could come back and have my head on straight. I laced up my shoes and headed out.
The sun was slowly starting to go down as I stepped out. There were a few people milling around laughing, talking and drinking, but mostly everyone was inside their cottages or back at the main house. I was glad we weren’t one of the ones in the main house. I really needed my privacy right now, and maybe Dane did too.
Thinking about him made all those crazy emotions rush back to the surface. I quickly shoved them all back down and walked down to a path that led away from the main areas. If I could just get lost for a while, I knew I would come back renewed. The more peace and quiet I had the better. The last thing I needed was to get stuck making small talk with a bunch of strangers.
I followed the trail down the side of the cottage before it disappeared back toward the woods. I followed close to the edge, but I didn’t go inside mostly because I had no sense of direction and while I wanted the sensation of being lost, I didn’t want to disappear in the deep, dark woods. No thank you. I just stayed close to it and admired how quiet it was tucked away from the noise of everyone else. The sound of animals as they skittered through the woods and birds as they called in the trees were the only sounds I heard.
I had forgotten how much I liked the silence of places like this. Being in the city meant that I was always surrounded by noise and people. I thought I was okay with that until now. I trekked a bit closer and even stepped into a grove like area. Twigs cracked under my feet and a shaft of sunlight shone on a swarm of tiny insects making them glow. I felt as if I was in a Disney movie. I almost wished Dane could be with me to see how beautiful they were. If anyone could appreciate the sereneness of the area, it would be him. Even all those years ago, he had those moments where he could just be silent and enjoy.
I sighed. I had been unfair to him. No matter how frightened I was to fall for him and get my heart broken, the way I treated him had been wrong. And I hated I had done that to him. He had only ever been kind and considerate to me and I had repaid him by being a first class bitch to him.
I knew I’d have to go back and talk to him. Part of me wanted to get it over with because without him, it did feel pretty lonely. I’d been on my own for so long that I’d always felt that way, but after hanging out with Dane, I started to see that things didn’t have to be that way.
Okay, Savannah, don’t even go down that road.
He never said at any time that he’d want to be anything more than friends. And there’s no guarantee you’d even be friends when you both get back home. How long did it take for the two of us to talk? Ages. And only because he needed a job done and the agency sent me.
“Otherwise, he would be here with another girl. So you might as well get the whole damn thought out of your dumb head.”
“Are you talking to yourself?” a vo
ice called.
I raised my head to see who it was. Yeah, that’s all I needed. Catherine. The woman strolled over in her pale blue dress and smiled at me like she actually liked me. We both knew that was a lie but for some reason she was determined to keep up the charade.
I would never understand that. “Maybe just a little,” I said in response as I lifted my shoulders and let them drop. “Sometimes it helps me get my thoughts on straight.”
“What do you need to get straight?” she asked as she fell in line with me and started to walk next to me.
I wanted to sigh. Why the hell did she want to suddenly hang out with me? We both knew she wanted Dane. And if she really thought I was his fiancée, everything about her behavior was odd. She definitely wanted to keep us apart and I wanted to put her in her place even though we weren’t even really together.
“A lot of things,” I said as we slowly strolled around the estate. I was a little miffed that she’d ruined my mother of perfect quiet and contemplation to chat.
“Did you get into a fight with Dane?”
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. “Why would you think that?”
She shrugged. “I saw him earlier and he looked pretty irritated. I caught him mumbling to himself under his breath. Someone said something to him but he waved them off and headed out looking all pissed. I figured the two of you must have gotten into a pretty bad fight.”
I chewed my lip. Oh, God, he’s really pissed at me. It worried me for some reason that he was actually angry with me. The way I’d acted wasn’t exactly normal, actually it was crazy and irrational, but I still didn’t want him to be pissed off at me either.
Catherine stared at me until I leaned back a little and frowned. “What?” I asked.
“So, what’s going on with you two,” she pressed. “What did you fight about?”
I shook my head. “It was no big deal. We’ll get over it,” I mumbled. “I’m just going to go and—”
“Dane and I hardly ever used to fight. We got along really well, you know? It was the best relationship I was ever in and I think it’s the same way for him too. Do you know why we got along so well?”
I pushed my finger against my eyebrow. My eye wanted to twitch like crazy but I tried to keep it under control as I glanced at her. She really knew how to push my buttons. “Why did you two get along so well?” I asked flatly.
“Mostly because I let Dane be who he needed to be. I didn’t argue with him, I didn’t fight with him. When he wanted to do something, I went along with it and he loved me for it. He already knew he’d never hear a single complaint out of me and that’s what he needs.”
“Compliance?” I asked as I lifted a brow at her. “Obedience?”
Her face hardened. “I know you’re trying to be a smart ass, but what he needs and always will is someone that doesn’t cause him problems. He already has enough of those on his own running a company and being successful. Of course, he wouldn’t want to come home to an overweight woman that causes him non-stop drama.”
I stopped and looked at her. Bitch! Even though it stung, I let the overweight part go. It was true. She was a lot slimmer than me. “Did you ever think that’s why the two of you broke up? Maybe that’s why he broke up with you. I mean from what you’re telling me, he was dating a cardboard cutout, not a real person.”
Catherine looked at me haughtily. “You say that but let’s be honest. You’ll never be able to make him happy because you don’t have what it takes. You’re not right for him. You’re the brash trinket lying on the side of the road, and one day he will realize the polished diamond waiting for him at home is the real thing. Then he will come back to me. It’s only a matter of time. He needs someone like me to make him happy. Not you.”
I gasped in amazement. “You are the most backwards woman I’ve ever met. Isn’t the man you are going to marry waiting for you somewhere within this wedding party? I’m sure he’d love to hear this conversation and know exactly who you are. I really hope he wakes up and realizes that you’re so interested in his best friend that you’re clearly only using him.”
Catherine looked like she’d stepped on some dog shit. “Excuse me? You don’t get to talk to me like that! You don’t know who I am. You know nothing about my relationship with Robert either.”
“You’re right. And I don’t want to know. You’re the one that decided to walk up to me and spew crap about my relationship which isn’t your place, either. Seriously, you need to wake up before it’s too late and you lose Robert. Dane doesn’t want you. Otherwise, you’d be with him. Move on. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Savannah
I left Catherine to stand there with her mouth gaping open and her eyes bugged out.
I didn't care if she was upset, she needed to hear it. Any other time, I would have been worried that I could ruin the wedding and therefore the job, but I knew what she was after. She wouldn’t say anything to anyone, because she didn't want anyone to know what she was up to. Fine by me. I'd keep to myself if she kept to herself as well.
As I walked away from her, I felt a little better. Maybe it was the savage in me, but I did enjoy putting my foot in people's asses when they needed it. I traced my way back to the cottage, but I wasn't ready to head back in just yet. I didn't know if Dane had doubled back yet and if he would be inside.
Instead, I headed for the garden.
The garden called to me. I had a thing for gardens since I was a kid. The peacefulness and stillness were unparalleled. If I had to sit anywhere and wallow in my indecision and confusion, I wanted it to be surrounded by flowers. Besides, I knew that as night time fell, the plants would give off their aromas even more. I wanted to sit with them and take it all in while I tried to figure my head out.
The sun had really cut low and the day had grown a little bit chilly. I was okay with it and didn't mind the fresh breeze that made me feel more awake as I walked through the perfectly manicured lawn.
I settled on a white bench, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back. As the breeze blew, I inhaled the flowers and smiled. It made every inch of me feel relaxed and happy. All my problems floated away momentarily and I wanted to stay here forever. Maybe when I went back to the city, I should finally plant a little garden of my own.
Not that I had the space to do that. My apartment wasn't exactly an ideal place to garden, but I knew I could get little pots and put them throughout it. A little bit of green to liven the place up was probably exactly what I needed.
"Hey."
My eyes flew open as I heard that familiar voice.
Dane stood over me with one of his hands shoved into his pockets. He glanced away like he couldn't quite make eye contact before he forced himself to meet me head-on. His eyes locked onto mine and I felt my body react automatically.
Stupid! Calm the hell down.
I couldn't believe how much my body continued to betray me. As much as I wanted to put up those walls again that would protect me, they wanted to fall down when I was face to face with Dane. "Hey," I choked out.
"Can I sit down?"
I nodded.
Dane shifted into the spot next to me and sat back. I glanced over at him and he caught my eye before he frowned a little. Is he still pissed off at me? I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.
"I wanted to apologize for the way I acted."
I blinked at him. "You do?"
"Yeah…" He nodded. "It wasn't right of me to push you into doing something that you didn't want to do. I mean I thought you did, but you already made the rules clear before we even arrived and I should have stuck to them. If I made you feel pressured in any way I'm seriously sorry because that's fucked up."
I choked on my words. "I-it's—really okay."
"No, it isn't. I know that what I'm doing isn't cool and I'll try to keep my distance from now on. It's just that—I can’t stop my body from responding to you. Every time I look at you, or you speak to me I feel that tug that makes me want to claim
you for myself. And I can't help it no matter how hard I try. You're even more beautiful than you were when we were younger and that's saying something because fuck, were you a knockout even then." He smiled a little sadly. "So, I guess I'm just trying to let you know what's going on in my head, and put it all out on the line. I wasn’t disrespecting you. I just want you the way a man wants an irresistibly beautiful woman. And I don't want you to regret that for a second."
I chewed my lip. How could he just come out of the blue and say so many amazing things? It drove me crazy that he knew exactly what to say and do to make me question every sane thought in my head.
And I'd be lying the mother of all lies if I said that I didn't want him too. Of course, I did. Even as I glanced at him, I noticed the way his fingers pushed through his thick hair and his blue eyes held mine. That strong jaw just begged to be licked and nipped, and I wanted those strong hands all over me again.
Whenever I started to think like this, I felt myself begin to lose control all over again.
Dane reached over and caressed my cheek.
I leaned into it and sighed as I closed my eyes and let the warmth from his skin permeate my skin. It felt so familiar, like home. I wanted to keep feeling like that.
Would it really be so wrong if I slept with him? Just once? There was nothing that said we couldn’t. I was a big girl. So what if it all fell apart and he broke my heart? Better to have loved than never to have loved. One thing for sure, I would regret to my dying day if I did not even try to make this work.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Yeah, more than anything. I know that I want you and I don't want to let you go."
My heart sped up. I tilted my head as he leaned down toward me. Slowly, he claimed my lips, and I moved mine against his. The kiss deepened and he all but crawled on top of me as he deepened our kiss.
I pushed against him, my body on fire. "We should go back to the cottage," I urged. "Someone's going to see us out here."
Pretend You’re Mine: A curvy girl romance Page 8