by Logan Jacobs
Second, it allowed me to ram the end of my seaglass sword straight through his heart and out the back of his chest.
The orc let out a pathetic gurgle as his body went limp, and then I tossed him to the side nonchalantly and turned back to face Carnog.
“Can you blame me for thinking you’re all a bunch of idiots?” I motioned to the dead orc on the ground.
Captain Carnog let out a growl as he sprang back up onto his feet and readied his sword. Then he looked back and forth between the shoreline and the wall, where his forces were just landing and mine were just touching down at the foot of the barrier, and a large, devilish smile spread across the orc captain’s lips as he observed the chaos that was about to ensue.
“So, ya do have a small army,” he observed. “Too bad it’s nothin’ compared to what we got!”
Upon first glance, in terms of sheer numbers, it did seem like there were more orcs. Still, I wasn’t worried. We’d been training to kill these bastards for a long time now, and my warriors were more than skilled enough to handle multiple orcs at a time.
The captain and I held our ground as we waited for the other to make his move. Carnog took this brief moment of inaction to observe the knife hilt that was jutting out of his arm, and he pulled it out with a quick yank. He then held my weapon awkwardly in his left hand like it was a sword, with the tip pointed up and out like he was going to use it as a slashing weapon.
I could work with that.
That’s when the two forces met in the middle of the beach, and the air was filled with the sound of my warriors’ battle cries mixed in with the shriek of dying and wounded orcs and the clanking of metal against stone and seaglass.
“You guys are fucked,” I mocked the captain.
“Are we, now?” he snorted as he nodded to the ships out at sea. “As long as we got those babies, yer as good as dead.”
Come on, water dragons… I believe in you guys.
I appreciate the thoughts, dear one! George’s voice interjected, and it sounded like he was panting. Just watch the two ships that are on the furthest sides… When they try to fire again, they’re in for a big surprise.
I turned my head to the side and lurched forward as I took a swing at Carnog. The bastard parried my blow and then came back with a downward slash at my leg, which I just barely was able to dodge. Then our swords met again when I lashed out at his neck, and we both tried to overpower each other as we pushed with all of our might.
Suddenly, there was what sounded like a massive explosion out at sea.
Carnog and I both averted our gaze out to the ships and, sure enough, the two galleons on either side of the fleet now had smoke billowing out from the spots where the cannons had been.
“What did you do?” I asked telepathically.
Rocks, mud, and seaweed packed into the barrel, Nixie giggled. Not a good combination.
The orcs on the other ships are looking for us now! George added. They’ve abandoned their posts at the iron tubes.
“Try to keep it that way,” I ordered, “and obviously try not to get killed.”
We’ll do our best, dear one, George chuckled to himself.
Captain Carnog looked like he’d just seen a ghost. His “secret weapon” had just been rendered useless, and his men were falling left and right to a bunch of women who were ten times deadlier than they looked.
“So much for your secret weapon now, huh?” I taunted the orc as I took another swing at him.
He hopped out of the way of my blow, with his mouth still hanging open. “H-How did ya take out…”
“You’re not the only one with a secret weapon,” I growled.
Carnog’s expression quickly turned from surprise to pure rage. His brow furrowed, and disgusting flecks of spittle flew out from his mouth as he unleashed a primal roar. Then the orc leader began to hack at me with the speed of a master chef dicing a tomato, and I was just barely able to dodge his iron blade and the knife he’d stolen from me.
Finally, I saw an opening, and I knocked away the bastard’s sword before he slashed at me with the seaglass dagger.
Slashing with a knife? They literally teach you not to do that in the first week of combat training.
So, in one swift motion, I slammed my elbow into Carnog’s arm and forced it to bend upward. Then I grabbed the blade out of his hand, spun around, and stabbed it into his left shoulder repeatedly.
The orc captain growled as bits of his dark blood oozed out of his new wounds, but he wasn’t going down. Instead, my sudden attack made him all the more desperate. Carnog threw out his fist, caught me square in the chest, and sent my body tumbling across the gritty ground. Then he came at me with his sword raised, and I was just able to get my blade up to block before it came down onto my head.
I shoved his sword upward, stabbed his right thigh with my dagger, and then watched as he howled in pain. While he was dazed, I came up with my sword and slashed it across his chest, and then I felt his warm blood spray out onto my clothes as his pectoral was sliced deeply.
As he tried to fumble with the wound on his chest, I ducked down, took aim, and lopped off both of his legs in a single swipe. Then, before gravity could run its course, I threw up my boot and sent Carnog to the ground.
Blood poured out from his wounds as he laid there groggily and weakly fumbled at the wound on his chest. It wasn’t quite the killing blow I’d hoped it would be, but he was down for the count, and he’d surely bleed out in a matter of minutes.
As I went to take a step toward the fallen captain, though, there was another loud explosion, and I whipped my head around to see the starboard sides of the remaining two galleons break and splinter off into a million pieces.
“George?” I grinned. “Was that you, buddy?”
Sure was! the dragon proclaimed. They thought they could kill us by using the cannons on the other side.
Too bad for them, we’d already plugged those as well! Nixie laughed.
God, these bastards really were dumber than a box of rocks.
The rest of the orcs on the beach were now starting to realize two of their ships had been destroyed and their captain was down.
Needless to say, they began to freak out.
“Retreat!” a voice called out, and I watched in amusement as the so-called “mighty orcs” began to flee back to the water with their tails between their legs.
Now that the cannons were disabled and the archers atop the wall were safe, arrows started to rain down at the retreating orcs. Several of them were turned into fleshy pincushions as they fell down to the ground, while others were skewered through the arms or legs in the process.
Once the arrows were clear, the Coonag women chased their prey with glee. They lopped off limbs and heads with their stone axes, tore out throats with their teeth, and a few of them even used the seaglass daggers I’d given them.
When all was said and done, though, about a dozen lifeboats full of orcs were headed back out to sea.
Not on my fucking watch.
“Tirian?” I whistled. “Jemma? You guys wanted something to do, right? Well…”
I was wondering when you’d ask, Jemma giggled. Let’s go, Tirian!
Suddenly, the shadow of the dragon appeared through the clouds and then swooped down toward the fleeing orcs. From afar I saw Tirian’s mouth glow with a dull, neon orange, and I could barely contain myself.
A moment later, the tiny dragon let out a blast of red-hot flames as he dive-bombed the lifeboats, and several of them caught fire instantly. Then Tirian came back around and set the decks of the remaining galleons ablaze.
Orcs screamed as they leapt from the boats into the water, and most of them were able to survive the dragon’s initial attack.
However, they didn’t make it much longer.
George and Nixie began to snatch up orcs in their jaws and shake them like an angry dog with a chew toy. Then, once they were done with their victims, they moved on to the next ones.
Meanwhile, Ti
rian and Jemma continued to divebomb the waterlogged orcs. The auburn-haired deer woman released arrow after arrow into her targets below, and Tirian incinerated them with a direct breath of flames.
“Y-You bastard…” Carnog wheezed.
I looked over and saw the de-legged captain had crawled a few feet away from me and was now leaned up against one of his dead comrades.
The orc captain had ripped up his frock coat and used it to make two primitive tourniquets just above his stumps. The bleeding looked like it had slowed to a trickle, but he still wasn’t in great shape. Blood was still oozing out of the wound on his chest, and the orc himself was breathing in long, labored breaths.
“I’m the bastard?” I pointed to myself. “You came to our island, threatened to kill us, and even launched a sneak attack with those fucking cannons of yours. And then you have the gall to call me the bastard? Ohhhh, no…”
“Just fucking kill me,” Carnog groaned. “Get it over with so I don’t have to listen to yer blabberin no more.”
I sheathed my dagger and gripped the handle of my sword tightly.
Then I got a better idea.
Sure, it would be easy to kill Carnog and bury him with the rest of his crew, but that wasn’t good enough. I was tired of these damn orcs coming around and trying to take over our home.
If I wanted to get them to stop, I needed to send them a message.
“Tirian!” I whistled. “I need you over here!”
I watched as the dragon, with Jemma still on its back, turned in the sky and headed back toward my position. The flames on the ships had now spread like wildfire, and any orcs who had been foolish enough to stay on board were burnt to a crisp by now.
The silver dragon landed next to me with a spray of sand, and Jemma dismounted him with her bow at the ready.
“You want us to incinerate him?” the deer-woman suggested as she gestured to the fallen orc captain.
“Not quite,” I explained. “I want Tirian to cauterize his wounds.”
What? The dragon looked at me with confusion plastered on his face.
“It means he wants you to spray a little bit of fire on them to stop the bleeding,” Jemma clarified.
“Mother of fuckers, you got him!” Mira exclaimed as she came running over with several of our allies in tow. “Shall we send him to a watery grave, Draco Rex?”
“No.” I shook my head. “In fact, we’re going to let him live. Now, would somebody help me hold him down while we cauterize his wounds?”
Nadir, Mira, Sela, and Lezan all came forward and pressed their feet against the orc captain’s body.
“Why would you let him live?” Nadir demanded as she bared her sharp teeth. “He was the one who was leading these tailbiters!”
“Because I want him to deliver a message to his king or his council or whoever the fuck he follows on whatever fucking island he lives on,” I growled. “The dragonkin island is off-limits to orcs. If anyone else tries to invade, they’re going to end up just like you and your friends here, right?”
“Fuck you,” Carnog spat.
I looked over at Tirian, who called forth a soft orange glow behind his lips. The silver dragon then bent over and released a tiny spray of flames directly onto the orc’s stump.
Carnog let out a wail of agony and tried to pull away, but we were all able to hold him in place.
Tirian then did the other leg, followed by the wound on the captain’s chest.
When all was said and done, there was a giant, black scar across the orc’s chest, and the bottoms of his stumps were darkened and white. He had nearly passed out from the pain, but we weren’t done yet.
We carried the captain out to one of the remaining rowboats, floated it out a few feet into the water, and then gave it a kick out into the ocean. All of us stood there and watched as two of the surviving orcs splashed over to the boat, hopped up inside, and then began to row away.
“Let that one go, guys,” I ordered George and Nixie. “Everyone else is fair game.”
“That… was… amazing,” Lezan purred as she ran her hands along my shoulders.
“It really was!” Nadir chimed in. “That was what a true king should be like… ruthless yet fair, a man who can take down another leader one-on-one without breaking a sweat.”
“And a man who knows when to spare an enemy’s life.” Jemma grinned. “Nira has blessed you on this day, Draco Rex.”
We watched as the rowboat paddled off into the horizon, past the burning ships, and out away from our home.
I didn’t know if Carnog would succumb to his wounds, or if he really would make it back to his home island and deliver our message. Honestly, I didn’t care either way.
We’d fended off four whole ships of orcs and successfully defended our home. Even if that ugly green captain died on his way back, the message would be loud and clear.
Nobody fucks with the island of the Draco Rex.
Chapter Fourteen
After the battle had been won and the orc bodies had been incinerated, we all returned back to the palace, where we were greeted as heroes. Even though we were all exhausted beyond belief, Queen Nerissa insisted we hold a feast to celebrate our victory.
So, after we’d all taken a brief nap and gotten cleaned up, we converged in the courtyard. The queen and I sat next to each other at the head of the room, while Mira, Jemma, and Ainsley were immediately to my right, and the rest of our people sat around the courtyard either at small wooden tables or on the ground atop picnic blankets.
And at the very center of the courtyard was a round wooden stage, which acted as our night’s entertainment.
“… And that’s when our dragons blew up the ships!” Arrick gestured wildly as he stood on the makeshift stage. “And then all the orcs fell into the water, and the dragons gobbled them up like this!”
As he spoke, my other children screamed and pretended to tread water. Then Malkey and Cerin waddled up and gently grabbed the kids by the arms.
“This is just how it happened,” Jemma giggled into my ear as we watched my children reenacting our battle.
“He’s even got his father’s bravado down to a tee.” I winked at the auburn-haired beauty.
“You can say that again,” Nerissa chuckled as she watched our son perform. “Though I think he might be a better actor than you.”
“He’s a clever little guy,” I sighed.
“I really, really want to know Hali’s secret,” Mira groaned as she took a bite of the smoked wild boar. “These creatures are some of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen, and they smell like a rotting corpse. Yet, the way she prepares them is something else.”
“If we all knew Hali’s secrets, we wouldn’t need her as a cook,” Ainsley noted as she rested her hands on her small belly bump. “She’d have to be out on the battlefield with us all the time.”
“I mean, we could use a cook on the battlefield,” I admitted with a shrug. “I’m getting really tired of having to scrounge around for food on every new island we go to. It’s either that, or we have to sustain ourselves entirely on the dried meat and fruit that we take with us everywhere.”
“We have two ships now,” Mira pointed out. “Maybe we could start taking more people with us?”
“I doubt it,” I sighed. “As great as these women are, I think most of them just want a safe, secure place to live. They don’t all wish to go exploring the seas like you and Jemma, unfortunately.”
Mira tore off another piece of pork and scarfed it down hastily. “I guess you’re right. It’s their loss, anyway.”
“If the orcs receive the message you sent, I think we’re one step closer to achieving your goal of ‘safe and secure,’” Ainsley mused. “Did you really cut off both his legs and then shove him into a rowboat?”
“Awww, man!” I pretended to be annoyed and motioned to the stage. “You just spoiled the ending.”
“Clever…” Ainsley rolled her eyes.
“But in all seriousness,” I chuckled, �
�yes, I did. If that bastard survives his journey home, he’s going to have a lot of stories to tell about us. Stories that will hopefully persuade the orcs to stay the hell away from our home.”
“Speaking of safety,” Nerissa whispered, “how critical is the damage to the wall? Should we be worried about it falling down?”
I shook my head. “It should still be structurally sound. It only took two waves of cannonballs, and it looks like the orcs were using the smaller kind. We should get repairs going right away, but I wouldn’t worry about it collapsing on us.”
I’d only done a basic inspection on the wall as we’d left the battlefield, and for the most part it seemed like it held up pretty well. There were a lot of large dents where the cannonballs had knocked away large masses of concrete and stone, but they’d only penetrated a few inches into the structure’s thickness.
Not to pat myself on the back, but we built a pretty damn good wall.
“That’s what perplexes me the most,” Nerissa admitted with a furrowed brow. “How were they able to throw such heavy objects at us like they were nothing?”
“Cannons,” I explained. “I’m not sure if you guys have ever encountered anything like them here, but they were a staple of my world hundreds of years ago. Basically, there’s this powder that explodes when it’s set on fire, right? So, what you do is take a strong structure, like a metal tube, and fill it with the powder. Then you shove the thing you want to throw in front of the powder, light up a piece of string with fire, and stand back. The powder explodes, and the force throws the heavy object forward with enough force to completely crush a grown man’s body.”
“Wow.” Mira’s gold eyes lit up like Christmas lights, and I could tell she was formulating several mischievous thoughts. “Is there a way we could get some of that powder? I could already think of many different ways to use it…”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Obviously, it exists in this world, since the orcs have it. But the question is, where the hell did they get it from?”
“You don’t have any way to make it yourself?” Ainsley frowned. “You’re always so handy with these sorts of projects.”