by Flora Burgos
Quietly, Courtney stated, “I forced Cole to quit his. I put him in a position where he had to choose me or his job. Most days, I don’t regret that choice, but it’s hard to dispute that you have a very valid point.”
“Court, that was different. Cole’s job had already destroyed both of your lives before, and it was smart on your part and his to make that choice. He needed to get out and put you first. I don’t know the whole story, but from what I do know—and I say this with complete kindness because I think of the La Barron boys as my family too—you forced him to make a choice that he should have made a long time ago. This is different. Your brother barely even knows me. I can’t go throwing down ultimatums. That wouldn’t be cool.”
Before Courtney could respond, a voice from the doorway had them both yelling out in delight when Devon asked, “Why the hell not? You told me you love me, you know I love you, and I think it proves it when you consider that I have been Stateside all of half a day and spent the rest of it being debriefed, so I could rush back here and tell you that I am officially done. I also needed to find out why the hell my sister left several cryptic voicemails on my cell
urging me to beat feet and get here as soon as humanly possible.”
Courtney was the first to speak up and asked snottily, “How the hell did you even sneak in here, big brother?”
Dev’s eyes didn’t leave Claire for even a millisecond when he shot back, “The same way everyone else does, little sister. With a key.”
That took the wind from her sails, and her lackluster response was a thoughtful, “Oh.”
Then she got up from the bed and gave Claire’s hand a squeeze before making her way to her brother and saying, “Missed you, bro,” as she squeezed past him. And even though his gaze was still locked on the woman staring at him with her jaw hanging open, he answered, “Missed you, too, Firecracker. Thanks for looking after my girl.”
“Anytime. She’s family. It’s like one of those cartoon characters from back in the day said, something to the effect of family means no one is alone, or something like that. Anyway, I gotta go check on my man, so y’all… play nice or… whatever.”
Then the other woman was gone, and Devon shut the door firmly and stalked his way to the bed, dropping a duffle bag along the way. While keeping his gaze locked on her, he unbuttoned his shirt and kicked off his boots before undoing the button on his pants and sliding out of them. Claire knew there was something wrong with her when less than half an hour ago, she had woken up in a nightmare, and now she was so unbelievably turned on.
She whispered, “Dev,” before he pulled her to him and devoured her mouth with his.
The kiss ramped up, and his hand found its way into her panties. Finding her soaked, he groaned and ripped his mouth from hers. “I want this. You have no idea how badly I want this, but not until I figure out what the fuck is going on.”
Claire came to her senses, and shame washed over her as she considered everything that had occurred while he was away. Hesitantly, she asked, “So, I don’t suppose you would be willing to change your mind and make love to me before we get into everything? Because I promise that it’s going to be a buzzkill, and I say that not even knowing if sex is all it’s cracked up to be, since, ya know, everything down there is virgin territory.”
This caused a pained groan to emit from deep in his chest, one that made her pulse in excitement, which he felt with his hand still in her panties, touching her most intimate spots. “Definitely not helping the situation here, baby. How the fuck does a woman like you end up a virgin in adulthood?”
“Well, you have a really shitty childhood, and you avoid connections, even if it’s subconsciously. Then you listen to your father scream about how much he hates you before you finally meet a hot guy whom you form an instant bond with, and there you go. One adult virgin coming right up.”
Dev laughed at her and said, “Wow. Ask, and you shall receive, huh? Can you be that open with me about
everything else, so we can get this part out of the way and I can celebrate reuniting with the girl I love?”
That surprised the truth out of her, and it came out in a torrent that he couldn’t stop long enough to ask a question, so he let her rant and tried to remember what he had questions about. It was when she was explaining to him that Cole found her in the bathroom after her mother caused her to get so upset she vomited and then considered taking the sleeping pills Clint had been prescribed, that he cut in and stopped her rant.
“Are you telling me that that bitch called you and told you to kill yourself? Your own fucking mother? Oh no. Not only will she never see a red cent of that money, first thing tomorrow morning, I am putting out some feelers and we are getting her back Stateside. Let her spend some time in an American prison and see if it makes her rethink some things.”
This made Claire smile slightly before she said, “You really don’t have to, sweetheart. She will get hers, and I am trying not to focus on her so much. I’m done, and whatever happens, happens.”
“That’s all well and good, but she attacked you when I wasn’t around to keep you fortified. She called you in the middle of the night and told you to kill yourself, and I am not letting that shit go.”
“You know that I don’t want you to fight my battles for me, right?”
“I know that you think you don’t want me fighting your battles for you, but what you need to understand is that you’re mine. I’m the one you love. I’m the one who in
love with you. That means that you are going to have to let me look out for you, that you are going to let me safeguard you and take care of you. Period. It also means that you aren’t going to feel guilty when I tell you that I resigned, effective immediately, and my last job was my last job.”
Claire tried to take all that in. “Well, that’s that, I guess.”
That got an actual laugh from him, and he pulled her into his arms and whispered against her lips, “I missed you, baby.”
Chapter Ten:
The days dragged on, and she continued therapy every day during the week, delving deeper and deeper into her psyche and the things that haunted her.
They all kept a close eye on Claire, and they were watching as she slowly sank further and further into depression once more. Now, even Devon’s presence wasn’t enough to keep the nightmares at bay, and she spent most of her nights trying to fight the siren’s call of sleep, knowing that all that waited for her was pain and desperate sadness. But this had a spiral effect, and before she realized it, she was compounding everything she was battling emotionally with a lack of sleep and virtually no appetite.
These all combined made her look like a ghost of herself. Her fingernails were bitten to the quick, and she had a habit of biting the cuticles as well now. Her eyes were ringed in darkness, and the clothes she’d brought with her several weeks before now hung off her frame, as if she withered away into nothingness.
Devon watched and tried to act unconcerned even though he knew that she rarely allowed herself to drift off to sleep. So many nights he feigned sleep at her side and waited, hopelessly, for her body to relax into his. She was going through the motions for the people she loved, but everyone could see the drain she was feeling.
During the Fourth of July barbeque—the barbeque that Cole had told her he planned to propose to Courtney and finally get his ring on her finger once again—Claire spent the majority of the time with Devon’s parents, who did their best to make her feel included and loved. But before too long, they were headed back home.
Devon watched as Claire talked to her cousin, who looked like she could pop any day now, with no real interest. That was when he knew something had to change ASAP. Claire was always over the top excited when it came to the baby and now she showed none of that enthusiasm.
He held the beer in his hand loosely and occasionally joined in with the others to crack a joke or comment, but for the most part, Devon Kincaid was locked firmly in his own head, trying to work out a complex problem,
one that meant the world to him.
The only time Claire perked up while he watched was when one of the dogs came up to her and fawned over her like it had never received any attention before, which got him to thinking.
Thinking about what he could do to help her, the woman he had fallen in love with, almost at first sight, and would fight and die for. Putting down his beer he knew that if he was going to get her through this, he needed help.
His help just so happened to be in the form of the animals that lived on the Kincaid and La Barron land.
Chapter Eleven:
The very next morning, Devon began to put his plan into action. Normally, when he woke up, he eased out of bed and tried to let Claire pretend that she was asleep, but that was changing starting that very day.
Instead, when his alarm clock went off, he hit snooze and rolled into Claire, demanding, “Gonna need you to stop playing possum, baby. I need your help with something today, so hop up and get dressed. Put on some boots and jeans, will ya?”
Puzzled more than anything, Claire got out of bed and did as he asked, and when he tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper, where she put her clothes when straightening the room and where she also put his, she looked up at him in suspicion. “Uh, sweetheart, are you OK? You never pick up your things, and you have me a little scared right now.”
This made him smile, and weirdly he asked her, “Are you off your game? Am I shaking things up?”
“Well, yeah. But why?”
He smiled at her and replied, “Why don’t you let me worry about this, and you focus on me today?”
That was a tantalizing thought. Devon had refused to take things any further physically. There was some touching between them now when they had their hot and heavy make out sessions, which, as she considered it, she
realized were happening less and less frequently, but they went no further. It was driving Claire crazy and really not helping matters when it came to her emotional well-being. She was torn between loving him for choosing a self-imposed sexual hiatus and feeling ashamed because she wondered if he wasn’t interested, now that he could see her for how messed up she truly was.
Stubbornly, she chose to focus on the first because he showed her in every way he could that he loved her and wanted her. He just wanted her to be on solid ground before they took that step.
She followed him out to the kitchen, where everyone was bolting down a quick breakfast and preparing to go out and spend a day in the Texas heat. Surprised to find herself hungry for once, Claire also grabbed a biscuit and a slice of fried bacon and ate them while stealing sips from Devon’s coffee cup. He grin his sexy grin at her, his lips stretched wide across his face. When she lifted a brow in question, he shook his head and asked, “You ready? I have to check in with my old man before we hit it.” The grin hadn’t budged from his face.
“Sure, but can you at least give me a hint about what we’re hitting?”
Wrapping an arm around her waist to guide her out to his truck, he responded, “Ranchin’, baby. I’m gonna make you a proper cowboy’s woman. Before spring, you’ll be swinging an iron and pulling cows like you were born doing it.”
Devon helped her into the truck and slammed the door while she questioned, dumbfounded, “What?” But he gave her no response.
Chapter Twelve:
During the next couple of weeks, helping Devon on the ranch and Clint with his recovery kept her occupied, and slowly, she came back into herself. In the way that it does, the dark veil of darkness lifted when she let herself be distracted, and life moved forward. The people she had come to regard as family were no longer searching her every action to see if she was on the verge of disappearing once more. Now, she noticed, there was a lightheartedness about them as well.
Life became life. She helped Clint in the mornings with his physical therapy and then rode a horse or ATV out to wherever Dev was working that day and helped him before returning home to work with Clint once more. At least one of the ranch dogs always seemed to be glued to her side. They seemed to understand the plight of their human counterparts and were taking up the torch to do their k-9 best as well.
Dev and Claire were sitting on a blanket, eating a lunch that she had packed before coming out to meet Devon, when he told her something that had the potential to rock her foundation. Watching to gauge her reaction, Devon said, “Baby, I have to tell you something. It’s not bad, but still. I need to fly to D.C. to settle some lose ends, so I can move on from my job once and for all.”
Calmly, Claire asked, “OK, how long are you going to be gone?”
“A couple days. If I leave tomorrow, I can probably be back in time for the weekend.”
Surprising them both, Claire replied confidently, “OK. Do what you have to do, sweetheart. I’ll be fine. Promise.” She realized after a moment that she had even smiled when she said it.
He regarded her for a few moments and then smiled and agreed, “Yeah, you will, won’t you? That’s my girl. Stronger every day.”
A blush suffused her cheeks at the compliment, and she smiled up at him. A genuine smile.
Since her mother had called that one night, she hadn’t tried to contact her daughter again, and Claire knew that Devon had people looking for her to bring her back to the States and deliver her with a bow to the police officers still working their case. She couldn’t find it in herself to object. Living with Sean and Katy and then with the La Barrons and Kincaids had shown her what a real family was supposed to be. She now understood that being blood related didn’t always mean anything.
For the rest of the day, she worked with Devon and then with Clint before helping Courtney with dinner and sipping a glass of wine. She was almost a different person from a few months ago. Every day with Devon gave her a new gift.
Lying in bed together that night, she snuggled into Devon, who still refused to initiate sex with her, and told him quietly, “You do know that I am not going to fall apart,
right? I’ll be fine while you’re gone. I think my demons are giving me a break.”
Dev pulled her into his arms and kissed her, saying only, “I love you, baby.”
She could feel the emotions emanating from him and relaxed into his body, trying to give him comfort and before long, she was sound asleep.
Chapter Thirteen:
While he was gone, Devon called her at every opportunity to check in and get a feel of her emotional state. Her first night alone in her bed, she slept the whole night through without a single nightmare. This freaked her out so much that she called her therapist in a panic, demanding to know what was wrong with her.
To this, her therapist laughed and asked her if she felt better. Because this was what progress looked like.
That was a weird idea to take in. She had had nightmares since the incident where her father had died and her cousin almost had. Now, so many months later, she was finally making progress.
Her therapist also recommended going down to meeting her every other week, and that she should celebrate this milestone. With that on her mind, she had a beer in her hand and one sitting on the bar waiting for Courtney when she came in from taking a shower to wash off her day. Court did a double take when she saw the smile on Claire’s face.
“What’s going on, Claire-Bear?”
“We’re celebrating! I freaked out and called my therapist, and she told me that I can come every other week now. She says I’m making progress, and I need to celebrate it.”
Courtney squeaked and ran to throw her arms around Claire. “And you didn’t have a nightmare last night! This is awesome news.”
“I think I’m finally dealing with everything. I’m sure that things will pop up, and I’ll have to deal with them, but this is the most optimistic I’ve ever felt.”
After several beers, Claire was feeling blissful and floating on cloud nine. When her phone rang, she drunkenly made her way to her bedroom to talk to Dev before she fell asleep.
She hit the answer button and bumped in
to the wall, causing her to giggle. This was the greeting Dev got from her, a soft girlish giggle.
“I’ve never heard you laugh like that before. What are you up to?”
She collapsed onto her bed in the still dark room and said, “I’m happy. Courtney and I drank a twelve-pack of beer. I don’t think I have ever been this at ease and happy before. You guys dig in there and make a girl feel all better. It’s mind boggling.”
“Should I worry about you and my sister drinking together?” She could hear the smile in his voice.
“Absolutely. Next time, we’re hitting the strip club!” She snorted with laughter at her own quip and got lost in her thoughts while Dev waited patiently on the other end of the line.
“Baby?”
“Yeah?” she answered drowsily.
“You really good now?”
“Today was a good day, Dev. I think for once in my life I am on the right path, and maybe one day, I’ll be able to look at myself and see nothing but memories, and it won’t hurt or haunt me so much. Until I get to that point, I’m gonna hang on to what I have and celebrate every day.”
“You know something? I fucking love you. You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you. You should know that I’m not ever letting you go.”
This made her heart flutter, and she responded sweetly, “You never have to. But it would be nice if you would hurry up and take my stupid virginity already. What are you waiting for, anyway?”