by Zeia Jameson
Having Marcus as my VP and him taking on the responsibilities that he was proposing meant that I could be home with Livy so much more and I wouldn’t miss out on watching Amelia grow up. I wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but I told him I would think about it. I thought about it for a solid twenty four hours. I discussed it with Livy and she was completely on board. The next day, I told Marcus that I had accepted his offer and that I would have our lawyer draw up a contract for his new position.
I open the door and am greeted with two of the biggest smiling faces I have ever seen. Ronny and Nancy. After Livy’s initial reaction to seeing Nancy at the party our family organized a few weeks ago, she never said another negative thing about Nancy. The week following and during our trip, Livy talked about Ronny and Nancy often. I think she even called Nancy her mother once. I asked Livy why she had softened up to Nancy so quickly that night and Livy simply responded that it was just a mom thing. I assumed she didn’t explain further because she didn’t think I’d understand. I didn’t press, because I wasn’t that concerned over the reason. But I can say, that in true Livy fashion, she shocked the hell out of me when she asked me if it was ok to invite Nancy and Ronny for dinner at our place. When I said yes, without hesitation, she hugged me and called them both that night. Livy didn’t talk to Nancy long on the phone, but she talked to Ronny for over half an hour. When she was done talking with him, she hugged me again, one of our classic hugs, where no one else exists, and she said to me, “I feel like if I hadn’t met you, none of this would be happening right now. Even if they had found me, I would have been too bitter and closed off to have even given them a chance to explain. You showed me how to love and I think that is why it was so easy for me to give them the opportunity to get to know me. To know us. To know Amelia. Because my heart is full of love. It’s no longer filled with hate or anger or doubt. Just love. And I know all of this transformation happened in me without you even knowing you were doing it, but thank you.” She squeezed and gave me a little pinch on my ass.
I laughed. “You’re welcome. And I knew exactly what I was doing the whole time, just so you know.” I pinched her back.
I had my Livy back. And she had me back. And that was all that mattered.
***
Epilogue
Livy
Two years later – Amelia’s third birthday
My God, how my world has changed. This sweet little chubby cheeked precious bundle of joy has turned into a never ending supply of energy that takes on the world like a tornado. I thought raising an infant was hard. That shit’s fucking cheesecake compared to wrangling a toddler. She’s a tiny little terror that never slows down and destroys everything in her path.
But she is beautiful. And she has manners, most of the time. And she eats her vegetables and sleeps well at night. We haven’t quite mastered potty training yet, but we’re working on it. I count every blessing that I have in regards to her. She’s happy and healthy and after seeing how some of the other children behave on the playground at the park, I thank sweet Baby Jesus that Amelia is mine. Because compared to all other three year olds I’ve had the pleasure to encounter, she is an angel.
Everyone is here today to celebrate the birthday girl. Rosalie, of course. Maggie and Stanley, Jenna and Mike and their kids. Joe and Vicky—still together for over five years. I can’t believe that woman has put up with his stubborn ass for that long. They even live together. Sara and Craig are here. They got married six months ago and are currently working on a family of their own. Maxwell is here as well.
And my mom and dad are here. Yes, my mom and my dad.
Things started slowly with them. I talked with them on the phone. They came over for dinner. Sometimes together, sometimes separate. I got to know them both very well.
I remember back when I first moved away from home and I told myself everyday that I didn’t give a fuck if I ever saw Nancy again. But now, I find myself scared sometimes that I might lose her. That she might relapse and go back to who she was before. She has never given off any indication that she would, though. I’m just paranoid. I like this Nancy. She’s kind and generous. She listens and she hugs. She sews and she cooks. I didn’t get this Nancy growing up, but I am very glad that I have her now. I don’t want it to ever change.
Nancy, Ronny, and I have become very close. Or I should rather say that Nancy and Ronny became very close to the rest of us. All of us. The whole family. Nancy and Rosalie go shopping together at fabric stores for crying out loud. Ronny and Joe, and Maxwell when he’s in town, play poker together.
A few months after the party Nancy threw for Jeremy and me, she and Ronny began dating again. Just recently, they bought a townhome together, about an hour’s drive south of the city. They aren’t sure if they’ll ever get married, but I have to say that it is pretty nice that Amelia has a set of grandparents that found their way back to each other once again.
“I cannot believe that Amelia is three years old,” Rosalie says to me. “It seems yesterday that she was a tiny little thing.”
“I know,” I agree. “It’s weird, but sometimes I just want her to stop growing. It’s happening too fast.”
Rosalie pats me on the shoulder. “Oh, sweet girl, I know. Just remember to take all of the precious moments in as they come and enjoy the ride. Sadly, before you know it, she’ll be eighteen and ready take on the world.”
I laugh and nod but my insides swirl with a little sadness. As much as I want Amelia to grow and learn and flourish, I also want to freeze time and keep her little because I know I’m going to blink and she’ll be an adult and she won’t be my precious little baby girl anymore.
“She’ll still be your little girl,” Rosalie says, somehow reading my thoughts.
“I know,” is all I can reply. I feel like I’m going to cry so I try to think about something else because there’s no crying at birthday parties.
We eat lunch and then watch Amelia open her gifts and blow out her candles. Her smile is as big as ever and it makes my heart melt. She’s having the time of her life being the center of attention. Jeremy has taken a thousand and one pictures. He bought a professional grade camera about a year ago. His subject of photographical interest is always Amelia. Sometimes me, but mostly Amelia. He started a blog and writes about how Amelia is growing and how our family dynamic works. He’s gotten quite an audience for his stories and pictures since he began. But he doesn’t care about the fans. All he cares about is chronicling Amelia. He loves that baby girl so much and it makes me love him more and more every day.
We keep the trunk under our bed. From time to time, we pull it out and go through it. Maxwell put a lot of pictures of him and my grandmother in the trunk. He also put in a copy of the vows they had written to each other on their wedding day and some pressed flowers from a bouquet he had given her on their first date. All symbols of love. Rosalie added a lot of pictures of her and Jeremy’s dad as well, along with some love letters he wrote to her. Jeremy and I have read those letters together many times. We’ve also read that stupid romance novel together again. Twice. And we’ve watched the porno together again, one weekend when Amelia was with Rosalie. We were trying to perfect some techniques and had to review the footage.
I did find out after our party that Sara had included the porn. I had called her the next day to find out. I had to know. She said it was Craig’s idea and she said that absolutely no one else knew about it. I was relieved to know it was a secret, and I thought it was odd that it was Craig’s idea, given his gentle demeanor. Sara said that Craig’s suggestion stirred up a conversation between the two of them in regards to why he would suggest that to begin with. He said that it was a “fun, couples’ thing to do.” She took the hint he was throwing her way and told him to pick out two movies: one for us and one for them. “Because,” Sara said to me, “there was no way I was going to watch the same porn as you and Jeremy. That’s just too weird.” The whole conversation about pornography was weird, but I can’t say I didn�
�t disagree with her on that particular point.
Last year, Maggie and Jenna gave Jeremy and me a gift for our anniversary. We thought it was strange, but the card attached read “for the trunk.” It was a new album of pictures that they, and other members of the family, had taken of us over the course of a year. They were all beautiful pictures of Jeremy and me smiling and laughing together. Loving each other.
That time in our life, when we thought it was the end of us, was very brief. But it taught us a lot about maturity, honesty and communication. We both went into our marriage naïve and confident that our love would be enough. And it was, until stress and adulthood hit us in the face. What we’ve learned is that we will be ok, and our love will survive, as long as we work hard at it and stay supportive of one another. Couples like us are called partners for a reason. Because by definition, partners work together to achieve a common goal, while sharing both the risks and the profits of that goal. And that is what we do every day. Work together. Every day hasn’t been perfect. Some days are better than others. Our goal is to love each other and to love our family. And we’ve been pretty great at doing it for a while now. Everything is as smooth sailing as it should be.
The party is over and everyone is gone. Amelia is in bed. Jeremy and I are sitting in the living room, watching TV with our feet propped up on the coffee table, settled next to the containers of leftover food that we are stuffing our faces with. In all of the excitement of the birthday celebration, neither one of us ate anything.
“Do you want some wine?” Jeremy asks.
“No thanks,” I say with a mouthful of food.
He looks over at me and eyes me curiously.
I look at him and smile.
“Livy?” It’s been a long day and he knows I would never turn down a glass of wine. The jig is up. I turn to face him and swallow my food. I look into his crystal blues. “I’m pregnant.”
Jeremy smiles. The same smile he smiled with the first pregnancy announcement. “Are you serious?”
I nod. “I am. The doctor confirmed it yesterday.”
His eyes immediately go to my stomach. And then his hand goes there too. He looks back up at me. “You aren’t freaking out,” he says and smiles even bigger.
“I’m not freaking out,” I repeat.
He leans in and kisses me on the side of my face. “Are you happy, Livy?”
I wrap my arms around him and we embrace in one of our epic hugs. “So happy.”
***
Acknowledgements
For nine months, my husband has listened to me discuss story lines and plot angles that he couldn’t probably care less about. He’s spent many nights and weekend afternoons hanging out alone while I was burrowed in my writing cave, typing, editing and obsessing over this story.
To you, my dear husband, I thank you so much for your patience, your ideas and suggestions, and mostly for your love and support of me and the passion that I have to form words into stories.
To my lifelong best friend and sister from another mister, JV, thank you for giving me endless encouragement. I would have given up this crazy journey a while ago if I hadn’t had you in my corner.
To Colleen Hoover: You started this. And if you ever read this book, I hope you love it. Or, maybe at least like it a little. Your writing gave me the motivation, confidence and courage to publish something of my own. You are a talented and creative writer, but my favorite things about you are your willingness to help others succeed, your humbleness amongst your fans and your generosity toward people less fortunate. You are incredible all around, and I am very glad that Amazon suggested that I read Slammed that one time in March of 2013. You and your books have made a major impact on my life not only as a writer but also as a human.
***