by Lou Mindar
Scott was surprised that his dad understood. Although, considering the circumstances, was it really that surprising. “Yeah, I think it is.”
“Life is better when it’s lived from the heart rather than the head. And when things don’t work out in a relationship, the easy thing to do is give up. But the best thing to do is to try again.”
“That’s what Angelo said.”
“Yes, I know.” His father stood. “If at first you don’t succeed…”
“Try, try again.”
“That’s right.” His father gave Scott a smile, then walked off into the clouds.
Life 4
Chapter 65
December 1984
S cott shot straight up in bed when the phone rang. He was back in his apartment in Chicago; the one he’d lived in during law school.
He had a decision to make, and he didn’t have much time. He knew it was Holly that was calling him. She was going to invite him to lunch, and there, she would ask him to quit law school and move with her to Florida where she had a job as a hospital administrator waiting for her.
The phone rang again.
He thought about Gabby and the pretend life they had built. It was as much of a headache trying to avoid being in a relationship as it would have been to build one. He missed being with a woman and loving her. He had loved Melanie, and, although ultimately his love wasn’t reciprocated, he understood that allowing himself to love her was, in a way, its own reward.
He also understood that not receiving back the love was painful. It hurt to be rejected like that. But without the risk, there was no chance for reward.
The phone rang a third time. He snatched it out of the cradle. “Hi, Holly.”
Holly let out a barely audible gasp. “How’d you know it was me?”
“I’m clairvoyant.”
Holly laughed. “Maybe we just have a really strong love connection.”
“Maybe we do.”
“I have to go pick up my cap and gown. Why don’t you come with me? Afterwards, I’ll buy you lunch.”
“I’m not one to turn down a free lunch.”
“I’ll pick you up in fifteen or twenty minutes.”
They hung up. Scott stared at the phone for a moment. What was he going to do?
He got out of bed and slowly wandered around the apartment. He couldn’t wander far. The apartment was small with one bedroom, a small living room, a pass-through kitchen, and a tiny bathroom. He had lived here for three years while in law school. Now, the apartment felt confining. Odd he never thought of it as small when he lived there previously.
The living room window was fogged, condensation built up on the inside of the glass. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe it and looked out onto the street below. The roadway was wet, and snow was piled on the curb on either side of the street. He wondered what would become of Gabby. Would she stay in Las Vegas or wind up in LA even though, in this life, she would never meet him?
What about Lolly? Would her pimp kill her or would she find her way out of San Francisco?
He tried to put the questions out of his mind and turned his thoughts to Holly. He remembered Holly as fun-loving and spontaneous. She preferred quiet, intimate time with just the two of them rather than going out to parties or bars with a bunch of friends. Scott liked that about her. It made him feel wanted, special. They had once been good together. Could they be again?
*
This was the Holly he remembered, always so poised, so in control. She laid out her argument for him to move with her to Florida, and now she was waiting for his reply, sitting up straight in her chair, her hands folded on the table. He found her to be a little intimidating.
Now was the moment of truth. He could find out what it would be like to build a life with Holly or he could go off again into the unknown to see what other lives awaited him. He took in a deep breath. Holly was beautiful and strong and sexy. Life with her could be very good. Or, it could be very bad. Who was to say?
Unlike his first life, quitting school wasn’t an obstacle. He didn’t want to be a lawyer again, so staying in school didn’t make sense. The only think he had to decide was whether he wanted to be with Holly. He looked into her brown eyes, then reached out and held her hands in his.
Chapter 66
July 1985
Scott held Holly’s hands as they stood on the beach. He wore an understated blue suit with a white shirt, open collar, and no shoes. She wore a yellow sundress that reached to her ankles. She was barefooted too. A minister stood between them and the Atlantic Ocean.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the minister said.
Holly wrapped her arms around Scott’s neck, and they kissed. They didn’t want a fancy wedding, and they didn’t want to spend time planning it for just the right date and time when all their friends and family could attend. The four people there to witness their nuptials —Scott’s best man, Cal Worthington, a young doctor he befriended, Cal’s wife, and Holly’s maid-of-honor and co-worker, Maggie Steadman, along with Maggie’s husband—applauded. Then the group went to the Pier House Restaurant on Canaveral Pier for dinner and drinks.
When he and Holly moved to Florida, Scott wasn’t sure what he was going to do for a living. The one thing he knew he didn’t want to do was be consumed by work. In this new life with Holly, he wanted a job he had control over so he could spend time with his wife.
He needed money to start his new business, so as soon as they moved to Florida, Scott placed a bet on the 1985 Super Bowl. He knew that the San Francisco 49ers beat the Miami Dolphins, but he wasn’t sure if the 49ers beat the spread. Betting on the game was a little risky, but he did it anyway. If he lost, it wasn’t the end of the world. He knew who won the World Series that year, as well as the next Super Bowl. If he lost this bet, he could always recover. So, he bet on the 49ers to beat the spread, and they did. He had the money he needed.
*
“This weekend, why don’t we go to Disney, just the two of us?” Scott asked.
He and Holly were sitting on the screened-in porch of the house they rented in Cocoa Beach. He had been trying to get her to set aside a weekend so they could spend some time together, but she was always tied up at work.
“I can’t this weekend,” she said. “I’m working Saturday. Maybe sometime next month.”
“You work ten or twelve hours a day during the week. Why do you have to work weekends too?” Scott couldn’t help but think that he sounded like Kathy.
Holly sipped her iced tea before answering. “If I’m going to get ahead at work, I need to do a good job and pay my dues. You want me to get promoted, don’t you?”
Scott admired his wife’s work ethic, but he knew that total commitment to a job meant not enough commitment to a relationship. They had delayed their honeymoon because Holly didn’t want to be away from work too long, and she got in the habit of promising him that she’d have more time the following month. But when the following month rolled around, she was as busy as ever. The truth was, Scott didn’t care if Holly got promoted or not. But he couldn’t say that to her. He wanted to be supportive. “Of course, I want you to do well at work. I’d just like a little of your time so we can be together.”
Holly reached over and squeezed Scott’s hand. “I promise, things will slow down soon.”
Scott stared out into their dark backyard. He knew Holly meant well, but things would never slow down. It was no truer when Holly said it to him than it had been when he said it to Kathy.
Chapter 67
July 1985
Scott bent over as far as he could and paddled forward. The mangrove roots grew close to the water here for about twenty feet, then they opened into a long tunnel. The temperature inside the tunnel was a good ten to fifteen degrees cooler than out in the sun, and Scott was in no hurry to go back out into the July heat.
“Let’s stop here for a second,” Scott said.
Cal exited the low-growing mangrove roots a
nd paddled up next to Scott. “You’re not tired, are you?”
“I just want to stay in the cooler air for a little while longer,” Scott said. “Plus, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”
Cal fished a canteen of water out of his kayak and took a drink. Then he handed the canteen to Scott. “What do you want to talk about?”
Scott took a drink and handed the canteen back to Cal. “I think I want to get a vasectomy.”
Cal laughed, but quickly stopped when he saw Scott was serious. “Wait, you’re not being serious, are you? You’re way too young.”
“I’ve thought a lot about this, Cal. I don’t want to have kids, and neither does Holly”
The truth was, Scott hadn’t discussed it with Holly. There was no need. Robbie and Allie had been his heart, the best thing in an otherwise bleak and disappointing existence. They were his life one day, and the next day they were gone. He never wanted to go through that again.
Cal took another drink from the canteen and stashed it back in his kayak. “Are you sure. What if you guys decide you want kids down the road?”
“We won’t. But if we do, I can always have the vasectomy reversed, right?”
“That’s not fool-proof,” Cal said.
Scott nodded. “Can you do it?”
Cal considered the question. He looked up at the top of the mangrove tunnel and sighed. He shook his head. “I can refer you to someone that does. But I’d really like you to take some time to think about this.”
“Trust me, I have thought a lot about it.”
Cal nodded and pushed his kayak away from the mangroves out into the center of the narrow trail. Scott followed, and the two men paddled in silence.
*
When the plane left the ground and the pilot turned off the fasten seatbelt sign, Cal ordered a drink. “Do you want anything?” he asked Scott.
Scott shook his head.
The flight attendant walked away, and Cal turned toward Scott. “For a guy who just won so much money, you aren’t a very happy camper.”
Scott had bet on the Kansas City Royals to win the 1985 World Series and he asked Cal to fly to Las Vegas with him to collect his winnings. He also wanted to discuss something with his doctor friend, and he thought the trip to Las Vegas would provide privacy and opportunity.
“I’m thinking about something, and I want to get your opinion.”
“What’s on your mind?”
Scott started to speak but waited until after the flight attendant had delivered Cal’s drink. “It’s been almost four months since my vasectomy, and. . .” Scott stopped talking and rubbed his face.
“You already want it reversed?” Cal asked.
“No. It’s just, Holly is pregnant, and I’m not sure how that happened.”
Cal stifled a laugh. “I can tell you how it happened, but I know what you mean.”
Scott nodded.
“How far along is she?”
“She said she thinks she’s six weeks.”
Cal looked up and thought. He took a sip of his drink. The sound of the jet engine hummed in the background. “This is November. That means you conceived sometime in August. That was five or six weeks after your vasectomy, right?”
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.”
“It is possible for pregnancy to occur after a vasectomy. It’s somewhat rare, but sperm stays in the semen for two, maybe even three months after the surgery.”
“So, I could have gotten Holly pregnant?”
“Could be, but if it wasn’t you. . . You don’t think Holly cheated on you, do you?”
“No, I can’t imagine,” Scott said. “Hell, all she does is work and come home. I don’t know when she’d have time.” What he said was true, but there was also part of Scott that wasn’t sure he could trust Holly. She was more sexual than any woman he had known. He had to wonder, was she only that way with him?
“Well then, it looks like you’ve fathered a child.”
“Yeah, I suppose I have,” Scott said.
The flight attendant walked by, and Cal stopped her. “Miss, my friend has changed his mind. I think he could use a drink.”
Chapter 68
May 1986
Scott was on the back porch watching the neighbor throw a tennis ball to his dog. If the neighbor didn’t throw the ball quickly enough, the dog barked his displeasure. Holly came out, handed her glass of iced tea to Scott, then maneuvered herself into the chair, holding her stomach as she sat.
“I’ll be happy when this baby is out of me,” she said. “I’m so big, it’s a struggle just to sit.”
“Just one more month,” Scott said. He handed his wife her glass of tea.
It was Sunday evening. This was the first time all weekend Scott and Holly had been in the same place for an extended period of time. She spent Saturday at work, and although she was home Sunday, she was mostly on the phone or doing paperwork. Once, Scott would have chased Holly down and demanded she spend time with him, but he had learned the hard way that that approach didn’t work with his wife. When she was ready, she’d come to him. He hated living that way. It wasn’t the way he thought a husband and wife should treat each other.
“Have you thought any more about what we talked about last week?” Scott asked.
“About me staying home after I have the baby?”
“I think it makes sense,” Scott said. “Considering how expensive day care is.”
Holly forced a smile, then sipped her iced tea. “You’re right about the expense,” Holly said. “But I was thinking it might make more sense for you to stay home with the baby.”
“Me?” Scott said. He had never considered that option and didn’t want to consider it now.
“I make quite a bit more money than you do with your business. And my job has the possibility for advancement. It doesn’t make sense for me to quit and then try to live on your income.”
Scott hadn’t considered the decision from a financial standpoint. They had plenty of money and a surefire way to get more if they needed it. Of course, he couldn’t very well argue that they could live off his sports bets. Even if he knew his bets couldn’t lose, Holly didn’t know that, and there was no way to convince her.
Still, he didn’t want to stay home with their child. Of course, how could he ask Holly to stay home if he wasn’t willing to? Expecting her to stay home just because she was the mother wasn’t fair.
There was something else weighing on Scott’s mind. He loved to kayak, but trying to run a business around kayaking took all the fun out of it. With clients, he felt restricted, hampered by their lack of kayaking skills and his need to make a profit. Staying home with a baby would allow him to shutter the business, and he might just learn something by being a stay-at-home dad.
“I hadn’t really considered that,” he said. “What you’re saying makes sense. Let me think about it.”
Holly struggled to her feet. She hugged her husband, then gripped his hands and pulled him up out of the chair. “Let’s go in the bedroom to see if I can convince you.”
*
When Holly had the baby, she wanted to name their daughter, Allison. She said they could call her Allie. Scott was opposed. It would be disrespectful to his other daughter’s memory to give this new baby the same name. “What’s your second choice?” he asked.
“You don’t like Allison at all?” Holly asked. She was lying in bed in the hospital after giving birth. Scott was standing next to the bed.
Scott shook his head. “I don’t. There must be another name you like.”
Holly tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “How about Taylor?”
“I like Taylor.”
Holly squeezed Scott’s hand. “Okay, let’s name our little girl Taylor.”
Scott hugged his wife. He had loved Robbie and Allie with every fiber of his being. Could he repeat that with Taylor? Did he dare repeat it, knowing he would likely have to leave her too?
“Scott Thompson, are you crying?�
�� Holly asked. She hugged her husband again. “You know it turns me on when you get all emotional.”
Scott laughed. “The doctor said no sex for six weeks.”
“Six weeks?” I can’t wait that long,” Holly said.
“At least try to wait until we get home.”
“As soon as we get home?” Holly asked.
“You have a baby to take care of when we get home. We’ll see how horny you are then.”
Holly’s expression changed from teasing to serious. “You know, I get eight weeks off from work for maternity leave, but I don’t think I’m going to take it all. I was thinking about just staying home four or five weeks.”
Scott knew this would happen. The best he could do was be supportive and hope she’d decide to stay home longer on her own. “Give it some time,” he said. “Let’s see how you’re feeling in a month or so.”
The lustful smile was back on Holly’s face. “We should make the most of our time together.” She winked at him.
You’ll be too tired taking care of a kid, Scott thought. With her overactive libido, maybe she would want to take full advantage of the two of them together for four or five weeks. If so, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Chapter 69
September 1989
Scott pulled his kayak out of the river. Water dripped off the polyethylene as he lifted it onto his Toyota 4Runner. He was running late, and he had to hustle if he wanted to get to daycare by 3:00 pm to pick up Taylor. With his daughter in daycare four days a week, he could sneak away occasionally to spend time on the water.
On the way to get Taylor, Scott thought about a discussion he and Holly had the previous night while getting ready for bed. Scott mentioned that he’d like to go on a family vacation. He hadn’t been to see his parents in more than three years, since Taylor’s birth. Somehow, that conversation morphed into Holly talking about a job she was interested in at a hospital in Orlando, and how, if she got it, she’d like to move from Cocoa Beach to be closer.