by Lou Mindar
He wanted to put his plan into action, to do everything at once. He stopped paddling and took a deep breath. The kayak slowed, and with it, his mind. Take your time. Be calm, he told himself. Enjoy the journey.
He began paddling more slowly. His kayak moved methodically toward the dock. This time, with Kathy, he was going to do things right.
That night, as he lay in bed, Scott closed his eyes and tried to put the plans out of his mind. No more thinking about selling the house, moving, or buying a new house. Instead, he thought about Kathy. He thought about their brief encounter drinking margaritas at the Mexican restaurant, about how his heart had jumped when he saw her come out of her house, and about the way she had looked that last night in their house in Connecticut. He was going to see her again.
Life 1
Chapter 93
October 2004
H is first thought upon waking was, this is the day I meet with the realtor. It was the first step in his plan to move closer to Kathy, and hopefully, to build a relationship with her. The prospect of putting his plan into action and getting on with his life excited him.
He sat up in bed, and his excitement turned to shock. He had gone to sleep in his bedroom in the house on Lake Mendota, but he had woken up in the guest room of the home he shared with Kathy in Connecticut. All his plans were gone. The life he had shared with Liz was gone. He was right back where he started.
Scott lay his head back on the pillow and tightly closed his eyes. This isn’t what he wanted or expected. He had looked forward to starting a new life with Kathy, but now he was thrown back into the old life, the one he had already ruined.
Scott opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling fan, spinning round and round. Fixing his relationship with Kathy was a daunting task. He had grown numb to her wishes. He had learned to avoid the hard conversations she wanted to have. He had begun thinking of his wife as a burden he had to endure in order to move forward in life.
Of course, these were all things he had done. He had grown numb, had learned to avoid conversations, and had thought of his wife as a burden. And since these were things he had done, it was also in his power to change them.
When he had been with Kathy previously—whether it was three lifetimes ago or the previous day—he had allowed his job to consume his life. His work was his number one priority. What if he changed that? What if he made his relationship with Kathy his top priority? What if he agreed to take time off work to see her parents? What if he engaged with her about adopting kids? What if he devoted himself to meeting her needs while also meeting his own?
He got out of bed and walked through the house. His eyes darted around, looking in every direction. He wanted to see everything, to make sure that things hadn’t changed. As best he could tell, everything was just as it had been the last time he’d walked through these rooms. When he got to the kitchen, Kathy was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Her eyes grew wide when she saw him.
“Haven’t you showered yet? You’re going to be late for work.”
Kathy had her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and she wasn’t wearing make-up. Scott thought she looked beautiful. He had no doubt that he still loved this woman.
He sat gingerly at the table, as if he was very sore and the act of sitting would be painful. He didn’t want to move too quickly for fear that this was just a dream and he was going to wake up in another place and time.
“Are you okay?” Kathy asked.
Scott nodded and held up his hand. He wasn’t ready for questions yet. He needed to gather his thoughts. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table.
“I’m sorry about the argument last night.” He spoke softly and slowly.
“You are?”
Scott nodded. He looked his wife directly in the eyes. “Do you still love me?”
Kathy chuckled. “It wasn’t that big of an argument. We’ve had worse.”
“No, I mean, are you still in love with me, after everything we’ve gone through. Do you love me enough to work with me on fixing our relationship?”
Kathy used both hands to lift the coffee cup to her mouth. Her hands trembled, and, as she sipped from the cup, tears formed in her eyes. With both hands still on the cup, she gently placed it back on the table. “Yes, there’s nothing I want more.”
“Then I think we need to. . .” He stopped mid-sentence and cleared his throat. “I mean, I think I need to change my priorities. How would you like to spend today together? No work, just you and me.”
“I’d like that,” Kathy said. “And since it’s your birthday, we can do anything you want.”
His birthday? For the first time in four lifetimes, he was finally forty-four years old. He had no idea what the future held for him and Kathy, but he was excited to find out.
He reached across the table and held his wife’s hand. “Kathy, how would you like to go kayaking?”
Acknowledgements
I’d like to thank the many people who contributed to bringing this book to market. Their support, comments, suggestions, and patience are greatly appreciated.
In particular, I’d like to thank my kids, Shelby and Louis. They are my heart, and I couldn’t be more proud of the people they are becoming.
Thank you to Dr. Sean Ironman who edited and formatted this book. His tireless work made a huge difference. Thank you, my friend. I appreciate all your help.
I’d like to thank Amy Beyer, the greatest proofreader in the history of the world. Her thoughts and support make me a better writer. Thank you, Amy!
Thanks also to Jessica Barrett and Clay Snellgrove for looking over the pre-publication manuscript and sharing their thoughts. Jessica and Clay, I’m lucky to have you in my corner.
Finally, I lost two friends while working on this book. Bill Breeden and I first met in college. He was a wild man back in those salad days of our youth, earning him the nickname “Wild Bill.” But after graduation, he became a leader, a mentor, and an example to both students and his fellow teachers at Bourbonnais High School in Illinois. He was a source of strength and inspiration to me, and I think about him every day.
I met Kristin Ferguson Kovach just a few years before her passing, In that time, through both our conversations and her raw, awesome writing, she made me think, made me cry, and made me laugh. Oh my gosh, how she made me laugh. Everyone who knew her agrees that Kristin was one of a kind. Even during the most difficult days near the end of her life, she was a bright light of hope, humor, and love. In her dying, Kristin taught us how to live.
Bill and Kristin’s love and support made me a better writer and a better person. Thank you both for your friendship. I miss you.
Read Other Books by Lou Mindar
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About the Author
Lou Mindar is the author of Driven: A Novel and the novella collection, Road Stories. He is a graduate of Western Illinois University and received his MFA in creative writing from the University of Central Florida. He has also studied fiction writing at Middle Tennessee State University. Lou splits his time between Wisconsin and Florida.
For updates about new releases, as well as exclusive promotions, visit the author’s website at www.LouMindar.com.