by Kayla Morgan
“It’s gone,” he whispered to the ground.
Her heart ached at her friend’s broken form in front of her. What did you say to a friend who has lost his home, not just once, but twice in his lifetime? What words of comfort did you whisper back? Nothing made up for the loss. So, Emily muttered the only words she could think of— “I’m so sorry, Akio-kun.” And no matter how cliché it was, she meant it from the bottom of not just her heart, but her soul as well.
He dug his hands through his hair. “It’s okay. I know what I have to do.”
This was not the response she was expecting to hear. “What do you mean ‘you know what you have to do’?” she warily replied.
“I’m quitting school.”
“What!” she shouted back at him. “What the hell are you talking about, Akio? Why on earth would you quit school?”
He shot back up and started pacing before her; his hands flailed around him like a mad man. “I have to get my family’s property back! I’m going to quit school and start working full-time, wherever I can. I’m pretty sure Hamada’s coffee shop job is hiring.”
“Akio,” Emily interjected and tried to reach for his hand. But he was too far away.
“I’ll be a barista there, and I should probably find a night job to supplement as well.”
“Akio!” His arm still out of her reach as he continued his frantic pacing.
“But, of course, I still need to help Obaa-chan with the inn. Maybe Hanami-chan will pick up the slack, if I explain the situation to her. I mean, this was her home too, even if she was too young to remember.”
Emily slowly stood up. Her friend’s frazzled form still moving back and forth in front of her. She opened her arms wide, took a step towards his retreating frame, and threw her arms around him. She pleaded one last time, “Akio, stop.”
He finally stopped in his tracks.
“You’re scaring me, Akio,” she muttered into his shirt. “Please stop. Please.”
She could feel his muscles slowly unfurl, and his shaking slow to a stop. The adrenaline leaving his body forced him to sink back down onto the dying grass. She kept her arms around him the whole time.
He took a heavy breath and finally looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time all day. His dark eyes wallowed in despair. “I should have been here, Emily. I should have never waited so long to come back. It’s my fault the bakery is gone for good.”
“It is not your fault the bakery is gone. It was a horrible accident. There is nothing you could have controlled even if you had been here. And if you had been here, then you would have died too. You and Hanami both.”
He shook his head. “But it’s my fault that I didn’t come back when I was supposed to. I could have done something! Had Obaa-chan put the land in my name, so I could have come back and fixed it when I was grown. Or begged her to move back here and fix it back up! I was the oldest! It was my responsibility! But instead, I hid, like the coward I was.”
“Akio!” she shouted incredulously. “You were nine! Of course you were scared! You were just a child!”
“You don’t understand! That bakery meant everything to them!”
She sprung to her feet and pointed right in his face. “No, Kenzou Akio. I know for a fact that isn’t true. I may have shit for parents, but I have seen the look of love that your grandmother gives you. And if your parents had even an ounce of that love for you in them, then I know for sure that you and your sister were the most important things in their lives.”
He coiled back in disbelief. “How would you know? You’ve never met my grandmother before.”
Emily paled. Oh shit. He was right. She had never met Mrs. Kenzou in her ‘Emily’ form, only as ‘Clarissa-chan’. Her mind ricocheted like a bullet as she tried to come up with an excuse.
“I,” she stumbled, “I heard from Hamada. He’s mentioned your grandmother loads of times.”
It was an abysmal lie. So she continued talking, hoping he would ignore how pathetic it sounded. “But that’s not the point, Akio. Your parents loved you; I’m sure of it. And since any parent worth a damn wants what’s best for their kids, then I am also sure that they would have wanted you to follow your dreams and passions. Even if it didn’t align with where they saw you in life as a child.”
Unlike your parents, the voice in the back of her mind reminded her. Her chest squeezed at the thought. But this wasn’t about her; she had to focus on him.
“This place may be gone,” she continued, “but the memories you shared together here can never be replaced. No human or creature or unexpected tragedy can change that.”
This time, he was finally listening. He nodded slowly, taking it all in. The panic and grief dusting his eyes were slowly settling back down.
She sat down softly in front of him. “Do you still want to go to their grave?” she asked gently. “We don’t have to, if it’s still too much. I would completely understand. We can always come back on a different day.”
“No,” he answered without hesitation. “I want to see them.”
“Okay.”
She extended a hand to him, and she pulled him up. But when she went to take her hand back, he held tight. “Please, I just….”
She smiled up at him, even though her heart hammered. “Of course.” And she slid her hand in the rest of the way, back into his own.
They walked in silence towards the far section of the field they had been sitting in. Past the soccer fields and crowds, there was a graveside flower stand, where they purchased everything they needed to visit the grave.
There were rows of gravestones, all in various states of upkeep, including some sites that still had their incense sticks burning. They finally came upon a slightly grayed marble stone that read ‘Kenzou’ across it. It was still mostly scrubbed, with only a few dead flower stems and burnt up incense sticks to clean up.
“Hanami,” Akio stated. His hands delicately brushed against the petals of one of the flowers that were still living. “She must have been here recently.” He drew his hand through his disheveled hair. “I should have gone with her. She shouldn’t have to do this all on her own.”
Emily squeezed his hand. He hadn’t let go of her yet. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.”
He nodded and bent down to add the new flower bouquet they had just purchased in front of the grave. As much as she didn’t want to, Emily had to remove her hand from his to place the incense. She did her best to light it with the autumn wind still whipping around them. When it was finally lit, they both bowed their heads and clasped their hands in respect. The wind rustled the trees across the field and, despite being in a graveyard, Emily felt an overwhelming sense of calm. She even jumped a little when Akio finally took a shaky breath beside her and began to pray. She hadn’t expected him to pray out loud.
“Okaa-san. Otoo-san. I’m sorry it took me so long. Thank you for watching over me and Hanami. I hope…I hope you’re proud of the paths we have made. Continue to watch over us and Obaa-chan. I know she misses you both, as well. I promise…the next time, I...I won’t wait so long to come home.”
His voice cracked on the last word. And that’s what broke Emily.
The tears streamed down her face, even though she tried with all her might to force them back in. She faced away from Akio, hoping he wouldn’t notice her blubbering. But as she attempted to cover up her own tears, she could have sworn she heard some sniffs coming from his direction as well.
After a few tearful minutes for both of them, Emily turned back towards Akio. He looked completely exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and his entire body was slumped. He rubbed his face and caught her eye. “Okay. I’m ready to go back.”
“Okay. As long as you’re sure.”
He nodded once more and held out his hand. Her eyes widened, but she willingly took it, and he led her back towards the road they had come from. The one he had grown up on, all those years ago.
“Arigatou, Emily-chan.” His quiet v
oice cut through the silence. “For coming with me. I never could have done this on my own. You have no idea how much this meant to me. How much having you here meant to me.”
She looked up at him, but he avoided her gaze. A slight blush edged his cheeks, and Emily felt hers fill up too.
“Of course,” she replied.
Even though it was a bleak occasion, Emily couldn’t help but feel a small glow of relief. Being here, in the place where he grew up, even taking part in the sorrow he had lived, helped her feel a little closer to him. Like they were finally pushing past that obstacle they had built between themselves this summer. And she knew now, more than ever, that she couldn’t go back to being just friends with him.
You’re in love with him.
The thought startled her. She couldn’t be in love with Akio. She couldn’t allow herself to be. But her mind raced on. The way his disheveled hair got swept up in the breeze. The safety and warmth she felt when she was with him. The way his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her on their adventures out into the world.
The yank of her heart was too strong and the swirling in her stomach as she held his hand couldn’t be dismissed anymore.
She was in love with Akio.
But what could she do about that now? She had been lying to him since they met. She was in no position to try and act on these feelings. Akio deserved better than that.
The whole ordeal had made her realize something; life really was too short to keep secrets. She wanted to be with him, wholeheartedly. Even if it couldn’t be right now. And as soon as this year was over, as soon as she landed herself a job, she was coming clean.
Akio had gone through so much, but even he had learned to let go of the crutches he had used to avoid life. And now, he was able to walk on his own. Face his own fears head on. So maybe she could too. Maybe she could learn to accept herself for who she was, even if the world didn’t. What really mattered was that the important people in her life accepted her. And Michi already had. So maybe one day, Hamada and Akio could too.
After all, Akio had invited her here, into this private sector of his life. Perhaps he’d accept her despite her secret.
Maybe he’d be interested in the real Emily Johnson after all
chapter fourteen
Monday morning, Nakamura-sensei stopped Emily as she walked into class:
“Johnson-san, could you please see me after class? I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Emily hoped her sensei couldn’t see the look of dread she was trying to cover up. Nothing was worse than having a teacher ask to see you after class. Especially when you know your last assignment was complete garbage.
Her anxiety raged through the rest of the class, so her mind didn’t take in a single word of Nakamura-sensei’s lesson on writing a story arc. Which was a damn shame, since not being able to pull off stories was the whole reason she was in this mess to begin with.
As all the other students filed out of the class, Emily shuffled over to her sensei’s desk. She felt like she was breathing out a straw by the time Nakamura-sensei was finally ready to talk to her.
“Johnson-san, I’d like to talk to you about your storyboard,” she explained, as she pulled out Emily’s story from her file.
“I know, Nakamura-sensei. I’m so sorry,” Emily apologized while her hands frantically twisted the ends of her hair. “I know it wasn’t my best work, but I just found it so hard to find a plot worth writing about. I can draw the pictures without an issue, but when it comes to flushing it out into a story, I was at a complete lost.”
Nakamura-sensei smiled with a bit of pity, which made Emily feel even worse. “You’re right. It was definitely not up to your usual level of work, but I’m sure we can get you there. For right now, we are just trying to get the basics of what makes a good story. Instead of trying to write a whole plot right now, I want you to write about small moments in your life. The types of moments that shaped you. These could be moments when you had a problem and rose up victorious or maybe just moments that shaped who you are as a person. It won’t be until the final project that you’ll need to elaborate it into a full story anyway, So for now, draw on your experiences. Then maybe one will inspire you into a full storyboard that you can create later.”
“Okay, I can do that.” Emily breathed a sigh of relief and gave her teacher a quick bow. “Thank you, sensei. I promise my next piece will be better.”
“I’m not worried at all,” she replied confidently. “You’ll get better. In fact, you’re one of the best in your year.”
Emily beamed. “Really? That’s so kind of you! Arigatou gozaimasu, Nakamura-sensei!”
“Of course!”
Emily adjusted her bag and headed towards the door, thanking her teacher again.
“Oh wait, Johnson-san! I did want to talk to you about one more thing. I know you’re only a third-year, and I’m not sure what your plans are over the breaks, but my brother is a mangaka. His career is really beginning to take off, and he’s looking for another assistant to help him on a new series he’ll be starting in the spring.”
Emily’s eyes lit up.
“It would just be a part-time position, mostly working on the backgrounds, special effects, and items like that. He wouldn’t be able to pay you very much, but it would be a great experience for you. Plus, it would look wonderful on your resumé! Do you think you would be interested at all?”
“Are you kidding?” Emily practically shouted. “Of course I’d be interested! This is such a wonderful opportunity! I can’t believe you thought of me!”
She let out a wonderful little laugh. It was so sweet, like the twinkling of a flute. “Of course I thought of you, Johnson-san. As I said, you are one of the best in your year.”
Was it possible for a person’s heart to explode from gratitude?
All Emily could do was beam back like an idiot.
“Now,” Nakamura-sensei continued, “he won’t be able to meet with you until after the holidays, probably around mid-February, but that will give you plenty of time to continue working on your storyboarding. You’ll need to add at least three to five examples in the portfolio that you started last term for our 2D Design Class.”
“I promise I’ll get started on it right away, sensei! As soon as my classes are over today, I’ll dive right in!”
“I know you will, Johnson-san. You’re a very hard worker. I have complete faith in you.”
Emily was walking on clouds when she met up with her friends for lunch. Hamada and Akio were arguing about which camera took the best macro photos. Michi was jeering them for being nerds when she caught sight of Emily approaching them.
“Why are you smiling?” she demanded. “On your own? With no one forcing you?”
Michi’s mocking couldn’t affect her today.
She slammed her hands on the table and grinned at them. “I just got offered an interview to be a mangaka assistant.”
Akio beamed at her. “That’s amazing, Emily-chan! Who would you be working for?”
“Yeah! Where at?” Michi added.
Hamada joined in questioning as well. “When do you start?”
Emily plopped down in her chair and filled them all in on the details.
“Wow,” Akio breathed. “You’d be working with Nakamura-sensei’s brother? I read that he won an award for being this year’s most promising mangaka. There’s even been rumors that the publishers of Shonen Jump are interested in hiring him.”
“Shonen Jump!” Emily sighed. She threw her hands behind her head and stared with a starry-eyed gaze. “Can you imagine working for a huge magazine like that?”
“I always thought you were more of a Lala magazine girl,” Michi prodded.
“Hey, I’ve got a deep appreciation for both shounen and shoujo, thank you very much,” Emily defended herself.
“Whatever you say, Emi.” Michi shook her head and went back to her lunch.
“But seriously, omedetou, Emily-chan!” Akio praised her o
nce more. “I bet you won’t have any problems getting that job!”
Emily’s cheeks flushed. “Well, I don’t know about that. But I promised Nakamura-sensei that I’d work really hard to get my resumé and portfolio where it needs to be by the time I have the interview. Hopefully all that hard work will pay off!”
“You’re going to be locked up in your dorm room all the time again, aren’t you?” Hamada teased.
“And how is that different from any other time?” Michi pointed out.
“Hey! I don’t know what to tell you guys! Art takes time, okay?”
“Hai, hai.”
Akio smiled fondly at her. “Just promise me you’ll take a break every once in a while, Emily-chan.”
That pinkness crept back up her cheeks once more. Ever since their journey out to Kyoto, her blushing had become even more difficult to control.
“I promise,” she replied softly.
In all the excitement, it wasn’t until they were leaving the cafeteria that Emily noticed Lucas wasn’t there.
“So where’s your boyfriend?” she pried on their way to class, after the boys had left for their own classes.
“Oh, he decided to eat with his soccer buddies today.”
“That’s weird. I didn’t think conjoined twins were able to separate.”
“Ha ha, very funny, Emily-chan. Just because we’re together, doesn’t mean we can’t spend some time apart.”
Emily leaned closer to her. “Yeah, and normally I would agree with you, but you two never spend time apart. Why start now?”
Michi walked faster. “None of your business,” she replied.
“Mii-chan,” Emily protested, which was difficult as she ran to keep up with Michi’s long legs. She whined like an obnoxious child until Michi finally halted to a stop in front of her business building.
“Ugh! Fine. I’ll tell you. Just so you’ll stop that horrible sound.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Emily beamed with innocent pride.
Michi glared at her. “Lucas and I are…going through a rough patch,” she finally confessed.